Cuts, scars, pimples, blemishes, weight issues, height, dress, muscles or lack of them, hair color, hair style, braces, birthmarks – these things and many more affect the way people see me. But why can’t people see the real me? Why can’t people see beyond the scars and the image in the picture to see who I really am? This is a question with which many struggle – daily.
It’s been said that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. The idea behind this quote is pretty simple. Beauty is subjective. Everyone is supposed to have their own view of beautiful. But unfortunately we’re living in a bit of a cookie cutter world. People aren’t living what’s on their minds, they’re being pulled to believe what the world tells them to believe. Beauty is becoming increasingly more objective. Beauty is becoming a comparison sport.
Society is so curved in on itself that it is tainting our definition of beauty. If you are outside certain parameters of weight, you can’t really be beautiful. If your fat to muscle ratio is too high, then beauty is unreachable. If your body doesn’t look like the popular kids or the models, then you’re not accepted. If your parents don’t look like the typical family, then in all likelihood you aren’t quite able to be as beautiful as the rest because you’re missing something. And the list goes on and on.
Why can’t I see the real me? It’s true that people can’t see the real me, but sometime I can’t even see past my flaws. When I look in the mirror all I see are the mistakes and the bad choices I’ve made. I see the flaws in my appearance. I see the weight issues with which I’ve struggle all of my life. I see a person who wants to be like someone else. I see the cuts from my moments of loss and depression. I see scars from when I tried to take my own life. Why can’t I see the real me?
These and many other comments like them have been running across my desk as of late. Young people, older people and everyone in between seem to be struggling with this messed up reality of who am I. I know some of you are struggling with the questions others have of you. I know there are many who carry scars of their past choices and don’t know how to handle them so they are hiding. The thought is if people can’t see my scars then I don’t have to answer their questions.
Hiding scars will only hide the real you. Each of the things the world calls a blemish are actually pieces of you. They are your history. They are your story. Some of them mark poor decisions made that’s true. But others are marks of effort given to achieve success. Each of these scars contains a piece of you. How you handle these scars will ultimately either determine whether they help you or hinder you.
I’ve come to learn that my past doesn’t determine who I am. My mistakes aren’t me, but they are a part of me learning to be me. The way others see me isn’t the real me either. Some of it may be true but it’s not the real me. So how do you handle it when people can’t see the real you, when you can’t see the real you?
Well, I’m a Jesus follower so that affects a lot for me. I believe in the words of the bible. I believe it when Jesus says he removes my mistakes as far from me as the east is from the west. This means that when God looks at me, he doesn’t see my crap. He doesn’t see my scars or my poor decisions. He sees me perfect. He sees me priceless.
When I reflect upon decisions (good, bad and indifferent) I realize one fundamental truth about them all. There’s nothing I can do to change one key reality. No matter the depth of my cuts or the disgusting look of my scars. No matter how smelly and dirty my life choices. God still calls me his child. I can make the biggest mistake in the world but it doesn’t change who I am in Christ. Jesus loves me and accepts me not for who I should be but for who I am right now. He loves me scars and all. He loves me through the sin and shame.
The world may never see the real you but it can never change who you are in Christ.
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