Where Did We Go Wrong?

There seems to be an epidemic in the world today. It’s almost like the exodus event is happening in modern times just not with the same intended result. In the Old Testament, the people of God fled the oppression of their captors. But in our society it seems that our children’ are fleeing the loving and open arms of their savior. This fact is leaving many moms and dads confused, concerned and consumed by feelings of guilt. Where did we go wrong? What could we have done differently?

Unfortunately if this is your story, you’re certainly not alone. If this is the story of your household, there are thousands of others in the very same situation. Despite their love, teaching and faith-filled efforts their children are taking a break from church. Some are attending on the really important holidays like Easter and Christmas, but many are just gone – completely. And it’s devastating.

Parents blame themselves. They question where the ball was dropped. They, at times, will blame each other. Mostly this just leaves them bewildered and confused.

While there’s no silver bullet that will address this. No one can offer a quick fix, or slow fix for that matter. There are a couple of realities that might prove a little helpful.

1. Remember the promise of baptism. It’s really important for parents to constantly recall the washing that took place on their children at the time of their baptisms. No matter how distant that washing, those waters are still flowing. In other words, baptism waters don’t dry up. One of our key points of understanding as a church body is that God calls us, adopts us and marks us as his children through the sacrament of baptism. When we stop coming to church for any length of time, it doesn’t change God’s heart for his people. That child is God’s child. He or she has the mark of God both on the forehead and heart. They’ve been marked by Christ. You, or their own distance, can’t change that fact. True enough, while they can’t change the waters nor the power of God’s love they do have the opportunity to deny His power. But even in that situation, they’ve still been washed and God’s love for them doesn’t change. So remind them of their baptism, and remind yourself that God still works through their baptism – no matter how long ago it was.
2. It only takes a spark. This is probably one of the most commonly sang songs at Christian camps. The point is, the size of the flame isn’t the issue. God can, and does, work through his people even when there is merely a tiny spark, or as Isaiah puts it a smoldering wick of faith (Isaiah 42:3). The prophet reminds us that God doesn’t despise those with weak faith.  He is perfectly capable of working with us even when our faith is less than stellar! It’s not our clinging to Christ that makes Christ effective, it’s his clinging to us! So a little Jesus is still all of Jesus.
3. I will never leave you nor forsake you. This is God’s reminder to Joshua in Joshua 1:5, but it needs to serve as our reminder as well. I tend to love the Old Testament for the simple fact that it constantly shows God’s people wandering away, yet He relentlessly pursues them. It’s the same way with us. We may be unfaithful to God but he’s never unfaithful to his people. This should be of some comfort as you pray for your own wandering child. God is pursuing them too!
4. Amazing grace how sweet the sound. This song is nothing short of a pillar of the Christian life but it’s also a reminder for you. Sure God’s grace is sufficient for your child. His grace was poured on your child as the waters poured over his or her head. But there’s more than that. That same grace that is sufficient for you child is also enough for you! God’s grace is more than enough to call your child back to him, and yes that’s what he’s doing. That same grace is also calling out to you for comfort. Stop beating yourself up over your wandering child. All of God’s children are wanderers (just read the Old Testament). And God loves all of us. He pursues all of us. Keep living your life as a Jesus follower. Keep showing Christ’s love in word and action. Keep loving your child. But rest in the powerful arms of your heavenly Father because his grace is more than enough for both of you!

There are likely countless other words of assurance others can offer, but these are here for those I know are struggling with this right now. You are loved. Your child is loved. And both of you are in the powerful, outstretched arms of Jesus.