I’ll be the first to admit it. It can be a tad irritating at times. Some people have seemingly fallen off the map in the past couple of years. I wonder frequently where did “so and so” go? But I wonder if that’s the best take on things…

So before I get too far into this, let me reassure you that this is in no way a slam on anyone who’s moved on. It’s not about any one person in particular actually. And this is not about the person who hasn’t reconnected yet either. This is about those who seem to focus more on the one(s) who’ve gone and not returned than we focus on the one(s) who are right there with us still.

I have the opportunity in my job to work with a lot of churches, but this doesn’t only apply to churches! One common thread in many of my conversations with pastors and church leaders revolves around those people who left during the uncertainty of the pandemic and just haven’t returned. It’s a condition that many institutions and groups are facing actually. Once active and heavily engaged individuals just disappearing without so much as an email, phone call or text message.

It’s hard to see this for anyone and even worse when some of these people who’ve just flat vanished are close friends. But I have a feeling our focus in this whole situation is a bit off.

I was talking with a church recently about this very issue. Where have they gone? Why are they not back yet? We need to get them to reconnect. How do we do attract them to come back again?

While I totally understand this way of thinking. And I’ve even thought it myself a few times, this is not the healthiest or even most beneficial way of thinking. I’m curious have we started to focus so much on the ones who are not back that we’ve disregarded the ones who are right there in front of us?

I fear the answer to this question is yes. I believe that our desire to have these missing faces back and re-engaged in the group has caused us to neglect and even ignore those who are willing, able and ready to serve.

Specifically to church leaders: if you want to re-engage those who’ve walked away start with the ones who are still involved. Get them excited about ministry. Share the work of the church with them. The Bible tells us that we’re supposed to equip the saints for works of ministry. But all too often we gather them together and make them watch us do ministry then complain when they leave because they’re bored.

In one of the many books I’ve read recently, I found a principle for moving an organization or group of people. I think it was in the book Tipping Point, but can’t be certain. The idea is basically that focusing on the late adopters (or those who’ve disconnected and refuse to reconnect) is fruitless, painful and exhausting. It yields very little by way of positive results. The author suggests to pour into the ones who are early to middle adopters, those who are right there already doing the work or at minimum watching it being done.

When these current workers and watchers get going and get excited, there will be a trickle down effect to the rest of the organization. So the long and short is that it’s not bad to miss those who’ve gone, but they can’t be the focus. If we focus on those who are right there with us even half as much as we do those who are gone, we’d be shocked how exciting life in any organization can truly be.