Top 5 Ways the Church Can Actually Listen to Culture (Instead of Just Criticizing It)

Let’s be honest—sometimes the church is better at talking than listening. We love a good sermon, a strong rebuke, or a theological mic drop. But when it comes to understanding culture, too often we respond like a grumpy old man shaking a fist at the kids on his lawn. And guess what? The kids aren’t listening. Trust me I know! That’s why I moved to the county. 😉

If we want to be relevant to both Christians and non-Christians, we have to do more than critique culture from a distance—we have to engage, understand, and listen. Here are five ways we can stop the shouting and start hearing what’s really going on.

1. Stop Reacting—Start Listening

Cultural shifts happen fast. One day, everyone’s talking about AI; the next, it’s all about deconstructing faith. Our knee-jerk reaction is often to condemn, but what if we hit pause instead? Before jumping to conclusions, take time to understand why a trend is resonating. What need is it meeting? What fear is it exposing? Jesus didn’t react in outrage—He asked questions. Maybe we should, too.

2. Find the Common Ground

Not everything in culture is anti-God. Many of today’s cultural movements—things like justice, purpose, belonging—actually point to deep biblical truths. Instead of dismissing them right out the gate, why not affirm what’s good? Paul did it in Athens (Acts 17), using Greek poetry to connect with his audience. He didn’t come onto the scene and blast them for idolatry. He explained in a loving way what they were missing. We can do the same. Instead of fighting every trend, how about trying to highlight where culture and Christianity align. Then, after you gain some respect, offer your insights on what might be missing.

3. Speak the Right Language

Imagine walking into a coffee shop and ordering a “Kung-Pao Chicken .” Everyone would be confused, right? That’s how non-Christians feel when we flood our conversations with insider church jargon. We don’t need to water down the gospel, but we do need to make it accessible. Jesus told parables; we tell people to “walk in sanctification.” One of these is easier to understand. Learn the language of the people with whom you’re speaking and use it.

4. Stop Making Everything a Battle

Not every cultural moment requires a Christian war cry. Culture isn’t the enemy—it’s a mission field. Yeah…Yeah, some ideas contradict Scripture, but that doesn’t mean we need to engage in a never-ending fight. People aren’t looking for a church that constantly yells, “You’re wrong!” They’re looking for a place that says, “Let’s talk.” Approach cultural issues with curiosity and grace, not a megaphone. The old adage “people don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care” is actually true. When all we do is yell and condemn, it definitely sends a message…and not a good one!

5. Actually Engage With People Outside the Church

This one’s simple but unfortunately for many it’s not easy. You can’t understand culture if you never step outside your Christian bubble. If your entire life is spent with church people, reading church books, and listening to worship music, you might miss what’s happening in the real world. Have conversations with non-Christians. Follow cultural conversations without instantly condemning them. Be present in the places where people are asking life’s big questions. Not every situation needs a full blown theological presentation. Heck, you might even learn a little something if you talk to someone who doesn’t know Jesus.

People don’t have a problem with Jesus, but they don’t always like His people.

Jesus didn’t storm into towns with a picket sign—He sat with people, listened to their stories, and responded with truth wrapped in love. If we want to be relevant in today’s culture, we need to do the same. Less outrage, more understanding. Less judgment, more grace. Because when the church truly listens, people lean in.

So, let’s get off our soapbox and into some real conversations.