Ok. Let’s be honest: raising teenagers today feels like trying to read a book that keeps rewriting itself. Just when you think you understand the rules, bam! – there’s a new social media platform, slang that sounds like another language, or a trend that makes you question reality (Tide Pods, really?). Parenting teens has never been easy, but in a world that moves at the speed of a Formula One Race, it can feel overwhelming. The good news? You don’t need to be perfect. You just need to be present, prayerful, and prepared. Here are three essential truths every parent should know about raising teens today.

1. They’re Listening… Even When It Seems Like They Aren’t

Yes, they roll their eyes. Yes, they respond with one-word answers (“Fine.” “Whatever.”). And yes, they often have earbuds in like it’s their default setting. But here’s the deal: your voice matters more than you think. Studies consistently show that parents remain the most influential voices in a teenager’s life, even when culture suggests otherwise.

So, talk to them. And not just about chores or grades. Talk about real stuff: faith, friendships, struggles, dreams, and yes, even those awkward topics you’d rather avoid. They may act disinterested, but your consistency speaks volumes. Keep showing up in the conversations. Plant seeds. They’re listening more than they let on.

Pro tip: Sometimes the best talks happen when you’re not looking at each other: driving in the car, taking a walk, or doing dishes together. No pressure, just presence.

2. They Need Boundaries (Even If They Fight Them)

Teenagers crave freedom, but they also need fences. Think of boundaries like guardrails on a winding mountain road: they may complain about them, but they help prevent a dangerous fall. Setting clear expectations around things like technology use, curfews, and responsibilities isn’t being controlling—it’s being a parent! It’s actually loving to have some clear expectations and boundaries.

Yes, you’ll face pushback. There may be dramatic sighs, door slams, or the classic, “You just don’t understand!” (insert whining voice here) That’s okay. Stay calm. Be firm but fair. Boundaries aren’t about punishment; they’re about guidance. Teens feel more secure when they know where the lines are, even if they love to continually test them.

And remember: it’s okay to say no. No is a complete sentence. You’re not your teen’s best friend; you’re their parent. Friendship may come later, but for now, they need you to lead with love and clarity.

3. They’re Wrestling with Big Questions (And Need a Safe Place to Ask Them)

Adolescence is a season of searching. Teens are figuring out who they are, what they believe, and where they fit in the world. That means they’ll have questions—sometimes big, unsettling ones about faith, identity, and purpose.

The worst thing you can do? Shut down those questions or panic. Telling them what they can or can’t believe or how they have to react won’t be helpful! Instead, create space for honest conversations. If they ask something that stumps you (“Why does God allow suffering?” or “How could you vote for ______”) it’s okay to say, “That’s a great question. Let’s explore that together.” You don’t need all the answers. What your teen needs is your willingness to journey with them.

Look – matters of life and faith aren’t just taught—they’re caught. When your teen sees you wrestling with questions, seeking God, and living authentically, it makes an impression. Don’t underestimate the power of your example.

Bonus tip: Encourage your teen to get involved in groups with grown up humans they can trust. Sometimes they need another trusted adult to echo the truths you’re teaching at home.

Parenting teens in today’s world isn’t for the faint of heart. It’s messy, unpredictable, and often challenging. But it’s also filled with incredible opportunities to guide, love, and shape your child as they navigate the journey to adulthood.

Remember: you’re not alone. If you’re a Jesus follower or a church goer, I’ll remind you that God is with you. If you’re part of our community of faith, your church family at Living Word Galena is here to support you. Stay patient, stay prayerful, and never underestimate the impact of your presence. Your teenager doesn’t need a perfect parent—they need you.