living for eternity today

Tag: stress

Is This Burnout?

There is a huge epidemic floating around the world right now that has people burning out in their jobs and lives. But is burn out really burn out? Or is it something else?

I recently listened to a man who is very much in tune with the mental well being of people today. And he draws an interesting distinction between burn out and something he calls stress out. To be honest, I’ve never heard of stress out before but his explanation got me thinking a bit.

Burn out for most people is when they just feel tired and unable to push through something. It’s like everything in life has them down. But burnout is actually deeper than that. Burnout squashes a person’s soul. It makes them stoic. Emotionless. They don’t have the capacity for caring anymore. They are carrying a weight that has them buckling at the knees constantly.

Please note it’s not that a person in burnout doesn’t care. It’s that they are unable to care. They do not have the ability to care. They might want to care but they just simply can’t. Their heart has grown numb. Their mental and emotional self has been so burned by the stresses of life that they just can’t feel anymore.

Burnout is the constant feeling of failure which has broken a person’s ability to engage emotionally in the tasks in front of them. Burnout is very real and it can be very dangerous. The best way to handle a situation where burnout is likely is to have very clear expectations. Remember, burnout has to do with feeling like a failure at nearly everything. Clarifying expectations makes burnout a less likely outcome. If you’re in a scenario where there are not clear expectations, do yourself a favor and find a way to clarify what’s expected of you to keep you from burning out. Burnout leads someone to feel not like they failed at something but like they are a failure.

But there’s another side to this. Not everyone who feels pulled in too many directions, like a failure and just plain exhausted is actually in burnout. This speaker called it stress out. The idea of carrying too much stress is that you can’t keep up. You’re running too many things at the same time. Your role exceeds your character. Living with too much stress is dangerous.

Stress in and of itself is not a bad thing. Actually there is level of stress that can be healthy. Healthy stress forces us to be and do things we otherwise would never be and do. But too much stress for too long can be dangerous. As a matter of fact, too much stress carried for too long leads a person to lead a frenzied life that never slows down. The longer we carry high levels of stress the higher the levels of cortisol in our body. Extremely elevated levels of cortisol can lead to major health concerns. Everything from blood sugar problems to heart trouble to weight gain to massive agitation and mood swings are all a result of elevated levels of cortisol in the body.

Stress can be a dangerous animal when it comes to our overall health and well being. But severe stress is not the same as burnout. While burnout makes us unable to care, elevated stress for long periods of time can cause us to care too much about things we normally wouldn’t think matter. Stress out tends to trigger snap reactions in life.

A person living in a stress filled environment will be unable to manage change or handle simple questions. Changes, no matter how small, are seen as another weight added to their life. While questions are seen as complete challenges to their authority.

If you’re struggling with burnout or stress, it’s critically important to find someone to help. Find someone to talk to. Talk to a friend or colleague. See a therapist. Seek help from a counselor. These are not signs of weakness! They are the most important things you can do to protect your mental, emotional, relational and spiritual well being. (It can even protect your physical well being too!)

We all have different capacities for what we can handle, so please don’t compare yourself to someone else. Both of these are real. Both are dangerous if left unattended or unaddressed.

It’s Time To Let Go

Have you ever done one of those challenges where you held a glass of water (or other beverage) out in front of you to see how long you could hold it up? The challenge is actually kind of interesting. The glass is light so you’d think it wouldn’t be a problem. The glass, even when full, weighs hardly anything in the grand scheme of things you carry daily. So this can’t be hard right?

Well as you start out, it’s easy. The glass is just there. Then the task of holding it becomes a little annoying. How long can I actually do this? And eventually the shoulder starts to tremble and the water inside shakes a little. Then finally you just have to put the glass down because your arm can’t handle it anymore.

But why? Why did the glass get so heavy? You didn’t change its mass or weight. You didn’t hang anything extra off of your arm. It’s just there. A light weight glass with 8 ounces of water and somehow after a series of minutes, the glass got heavier and heavier even though it didn’t change at all.

I think we face our problems in life the same way. We hold them for far too long. I’m a pretty big advocate for making a decision and moving forward with it. I’m a big proponent of just ripping off the bandaid and dealing with things. But some people hold their decisions for far too long. When we have a decision to make and hold off on making it, bad things happen. We become someone we never wanted to be. We get feisty and anger easily. We soon realize the weight of the decision is becoming too heavy for us to carry, so we throw it at the people closest to us. It’s like the glass of water analogy. Even though the glass didn’t change size, shape, mass or weight it still became too heavy to hold.

The longer we hold our fears, anxieties, stresses, and even decisions the heavier they become. And eventually we’ll either drop them or hurt those around us when we throw things at them.

Look I know fears are real. I know anxiety is a true fact of life and many people have a hard time processing it. I know decisions have rippling effects far beyond what we might see in the moment. But holding them will only make things worse.

So find a friend. Seriously find a friend who will be there with you through the anxiety. Maybe someone can help you see the challenge from a different perspective. Maybe they can help you come up with some coping methods to get through the hard time you’re facing.

Imagine that same glass of water in your hand. This time when you’re holding it a friend comes up to put his hand underneath yours. All of a sudden the pressure of the glass no longer affects your arm. Immediately you have relief. The same is true with our stresses and fears and anxieties we hold onto in life. When we surround ourselves with people who are willing to challenge us and hold us accountable and help us when we struggle, we’ll realize we can carry the glass longer. We’ll even be able to set the glass down over time.

If you can’t set the glass down today, find a friend who you trust to help you hold the glass. I bet you’ll thank me for it.

Stayed On Him

I’m always on the lookout for a new song for our Music Monday posts. Some days are harder to find one I haven’t done yet while other weeks there seems to be no trouble at all. Today we’re going to look at one that kind of jumped out in a quick search for top songs for 2021. It’s called Stayed on Him. The song is built around a passage from Isaiah 26:3.

You will keep in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you.

Think about how different life would be if we just let peace reign in our lives. How much different would your outlook on life be if you stepped back from the worry and fear to trust in the one who has everything under control?

The issue we face often is that we let our minds wander to things that are not of God. We focus on the pain and the shame and the hurt and the fear and the anxiety. We let worry creep in and take over our thoughts.

Today’s MusicMonday is really calling us to stay on him. Focus on the promises of God. See his presence in your life today and always. So stop what you’re doing for the next 5 minutes and let this song help bring a smile to your face and comfort to your soul.

Loneliness and Anxiety

If there’s anything this pandemic has taught me, it’s the value of people and healthy, strong relationships. Men and women were not created to do life alone, which makes this long and drawn out season of distancing and limited gatherings an extremely challenge time for so many people in our communities.

It’s no wonder the depression rate is on the rise and the suicide rate is skyrocketing. It should be no shock that substance abuse and addiction diagnoses are greater now than in recent history. Loneliness is driving so many to lengths they would never normally go.

Marriages are falling apart. Friendships are being broken down. We’re highlighting problems more than solutions. Compliments have turned to complaints. Love has turned to hate. All we see is the negative in other people.

The spirit of men and women is being broken. It’s being broken by our inability to be around other people. We need to be surrounded by others who can challenge us in a healthy way and encourage us in a loving way. I fear the longer this forced distance goes on the more long lasting harm is going to be done to whatever is left of our relationships.

This distancing is causing loneliness in so many people. And that loneliness is leading to anxiety the likes of which we haven’t seen in decades.

How do you deal with stress and anxiety.

  • Physical activity – Do you workout? Are you a runner?
  • Mental distraction – Do you have a hobby? Love to craft? Is coloring or video games your release?
  • Rest and relaxation – Enjoy napping? or vegging with a movie or video games?
  • Relational release – Find someone you can talk to. Find a friend to lean on emotionally. Who can you call to talk through the difficulties? Who’s already in your life as a constant source of encouragement and grounding?
  • Spiritual connection – An aspect of life we all too easily overlook is the spiritual needs we have. Take time to be in prayer. Take a walk and list the things for which you’re thankful. Spend time reading the Bible. Join with others who believe the same way and study together. Ask someone whose opinion you respect some hard faith questions. Try fasting (who hasn’t packed on a couple pounds since covid started?) Experiment with meditation.

Whatever it is, we all need to find a healthy and nondestructive way to release some tension. Take time to focus on self care. Relieve stress. Rebuild relationships. Restore the basics of your faith system.

These are a few ways you can handle the loneliness and anxiety that are infiltrating our communities and families. What have you found most helpful to help relieve stress? How do you show those around you that you value their friendship?

How Do You Sabbath?

In a recent podcast I was listening to, the topic of Sabbath came up. It was actually an interesting talk and it made me think a little about my definition of this very churchy word. At the outset of the podcast I started to think that I was pretty terrible at this whole “sabbath” thing. And I’m still not convinced I have it nailed but I do feel a tad less horrible about it! Continue reading

Breathe, No Really Breathe!

It’s that time of year again; the month of December is a busy one for most people. For many people December is filled with the stresses of end of the year work assignments and projects, exams for students, meal planning and preparations, shopping and making sure everyone on your list has a Christmas gift, and of course looking forward to what next year has to bring. Our lives have become so busy and we’re constantly on the go. When do we make time for Jesus during this busy Christmas season. Afterall, it is all about Him. Continue reading

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