Sometimes I have a really hard time biting my tongue, but if I’m being honest – saying nothing is most of the time a much better option! When we get all worked up and angry about something or when something strikes that one nerve and we just explode – yeah that’s not a good thing. So practice restraint. Measure your words and be very calculated on what/when you speak.
However, there is a time when silence just won’t do the trick any longer. But when is that and what do you do? Here are a few scenarios when we just need to break the silence:
When someone continually makes the same mistake, it’s beneficial to point things out so they can grow and learn from that mistake. Just be careful you don’t come across as condescending or judgmental. Offer a loving word of encouragement to lead them in a different direction.
When you’re being attacked and you feel threatened, you must say something. Either say something to the person who’s doing the attacking or in some cases, if it’s gone too far or your life is in jeopardy, then you need to say something to an authority figure. This is one of those times when speaking up is absolutely critical!
When your morals are being compromised by those around you, and you don’t feel comfortable in the given situation, you should speak up. This one gets a little trickier because not everyone has the same moral standards that you have. When your morals are being put to the test, how strongly do you hold to them? When you speak up in this area, a word of caution. Don’t be a judgmental jerk. Just because they are your morals and convictions, doesn’t mean they are everyone else’s!
When your life is being threatened, you need to open your mouth. Ok so this should be obvious but perhaps we need a little reminder. No one under any circumstances should do anything that directly impacts your safety. If this is the case, seek help immediately! But please note: directly impacts. You very well might be in situations where someone else’s beliefs or views might allow them to do things that aren’t exactly the safest. Just because you don’t feel it to be safe doesn’t mean that you will be directly impacted. An example here is speeding. Pretty much everyone does it. Doesn’t make it right. It can potentially cause an accident leading to someone’s injury but that’s not necessarily a direct impact to you, after all you’ve done similarly! If you feel the need to say something to someone about how their actions might potentially cause harm to you or someone else, understand that if it’s not a clear and direct threat that can be proven you might not get very far in your argument.
When, after a time of deliberation, research and conversation, you realize your personal convictions are being compromised and the greater good is being challenged. This is again a slippery slope. We are emotional beings living in emotionally charged times, so proceed with caution. Don’t go off half cracked here. That will only do more harm than good. If you are in this situation, do your research. Not surface level and not just one sided. Look into the opposition’s point of view. Try to see things from their side. Understand that your convictions and beliefs aren’t everyone’s convictions and beliefs. So when you speak for your convictions you will contradict someone else who is likely just as convicted as you in the opposite direction.
The long and short is that there will be times when just sitting quiet is best. But there will also be times when you just can’t be silent any longer. When those moments arise, be educated, be humble, be consistent (make sure your words and your actions line up), and be understanding that not everyone will see it your way. We can do a lot of healing if we learn to have good healthy debates again! You have your point of view and that’s great! Just be ok with the fact that I have mine as well.
Be well friends and treat the other person with respect.