living for eternity today

Tag: maturity

Letting Go

Life isn’t a continuous accumulation of people, experiences, and things. Sometimes, the most powerful and transformative act you can perform is to let go. It’s time to embrace the unapologetic power of letting things go, and do it without hesitation or regret. Clinging to what no longer serves you isn’t strength; it’s the very anchor that’s holding you back from sailing toward your greatness.

First, let’s talk about relationships. Perhaps you’ve heard the cliché, “People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.” Here’s a hard truth: not everyone who walks into your life is meant to stay. Friends, neighbors, even family members can outgrow their place in your journey. Holding onto toxic relationships because of time invested or fear of loneliness is pure madness. The longer you grip onto a relationship that’s draining you, the longer you delay your own happiness and growth. Letting go of someone who no longer respects, loves, or supports you is a bold declaration of self-worth. It’s not about cruelty; it’s about self-preservation.

Now don’t get all bent here. I’m not saying you should drop every relationship that no longer serves you! Some relationships are just not good. Running back into the arms of an abusive partner is a bad idea. Constantly feeling like you have to apologize for your actions around that friend because they don’t like your approach might be an indication that the term friend is slightly overstated.

Next, consider your dreams and goals. I know this might sting a bit. We’re often told to never give up, to relentlessly pursue our dreams. But here’s the kicker: some dreams aren’t meant to come true. Holding onto a goal that’s no longer aligned with who you are or what you want isn’t determination; it’s delusion. It’s okay to change course, to admit that what you once wanted isn’t what you want anymore. It’s not quitting; it’s redirecting your energy to something more fulfilling. Letting go of an outdated dream isn’t failure; it’s a strategic retreat that opens the door to new opportunities.

Packrats beware, you’re next. Possessions, those beloved trinkets of the past. Sentimentality can quickly turn into a suffocating trap. Do you really need to hold onto that box of notes from a high school relationship that ended a decade ago? Or that piece of clothing you’ll never be able to wear again but can’t seem to part with? Letting go applies to just about everything, except the scrap pieces of lumber in my garage that I might need to use one day.

Physical clutter creates mental clutter. Your environment should reflect the clarity and freedom you seek in your mind. Decluttering isn’t just a trendy lifestyle choice; it’s a radical act of self-liberation. Let go of the past’s physical anchors to make room for the future’s treasures.

Work and career paths aren’t immune from the let go approach. Many of us stick to jobs that we despise or career paths that stifle our passion because of fear. Fear of the unknown, fear of financial instability, fear of judgment. But staying in a job that drains your soul is a slow death. It’s time to muster the courage to walk away from what doesn’t ignite your passion or align with your values. Trust that something better awaits. You owe it to yourself to pursue work that makes you feel alive, not just financially secure.

But wait there’s more! The most elusive yet critical thing to let go of: our past selves. We are constantly evolving, yet we often hold ourselves to outdated versions of who we once were. Let go of the mistakes, the failures, and the regrets. They are weights you don’t need to carry into your future. Each new day is a chance to redefine yourself. Shed the skin of your past and step into the version of you that you’re meant to be.

So whether it’s a friendship that has run its course, a job that just doesn’t feed your passion, even a piece of property that no longer achieves its purpose – it’s ok to let some things go. The test of maturity and strength is to know what to hold onto and what to let go. When you master this, you find some immense clarity and strength.

Letting go is not a sign of weakness; it’s a testament to your strength. It’s a bold assertion that you are worthy of more – more love, more happiness, more fulfillment. So, be ok with cutting the ties that bind you to mediocrity and step into the greatness that awaits. Remember, sometimes the best thing you can do for yourself is to unapologetically, unequivocally, let go.

Pie Slinging Problems

The tendency, when we face a problem, is to look outside of us for the problem and inside for the solution. We do it all the time actually. It’s the blame game. Something goes wrong and it’s generally someone, or something, else’s fault.

You get to work late, so it’s traffic’s fault. You oversleep. It surely has to be that your alarm didn’t even go off. You can’t stick to a diet. Well it must be that the other people in your house don’t diet the same way you do so you give in just to make them feel better.

This is not a healthy approach to problem solving and it stems from a significant internal issue. There is a better and healthier way to look at things. The problem generally is inside of us while the solution is outside of us.

When we identify the problem as being someone else’s fault, we tend to think we are our own right answer. Going to be late for work? Instead of getting up a little earlier, which often means going to bed a little earlier, we drive a little faster. When the problem is cast onto someone else then the solution is sought by deeper resolve or greater effort.

But what happens if we flip the script on this? What happens when we admit our fault in the problem? Instead of throwing the pie of blame at someone else, we belly up to the table and eat the pie we baked with our own actions.

I unfortunately see this in my life as a pastor as well. It actually happens more often than I’d like to admit. We feel a little dry in our spiritual life. We aren’t getting anything out of church. We feel like the music is meh at best. We don’t like that style or the way he dresses. We don’t like the preaching style or the way she confronted me about that issue (even though I know I’m wrong).

Whatever it is, we all too often react the same way. We cast blame on the other party and leave. We feel like the worship isn’t what we want, so we leave for greener pastures elsewhere. Or we walk away because they are obviously the problem.

The issue is that problem will follow us. The issue is we’re doing it for the wrong reason, with the wrong heart. Maybe it’s not the worship that’s dry? Maybe it’s that our heart isn’t in the right place! Maybe it’s not that we were offended by the way we were called out for something? Maybe it’s that we actually feel guilty. And instead of repenting of these things, it’s easier to just turn and walk away.

But walking away from our brokenness won’t fix it. Blaming someone else for something that really is our problem, won’t make the problem go away. It might delay its effects. It might elongate the time between the problem and the explosion in our lives. But it won’t make it go away.

Isaiah really drives this home in his letter in the Bible. Look some don’t like the Bible because it’s all churchy, whatever that really means. But the Bible is massively practical. Even if you’re not a religious person, I’m sure you can get something very practical out of the things found in the Bible.

Isaiah walks through the life of Israel. He talks about their problems and the many issues they’ve faced in life. Then around chapter 43-44 he starts to show how it’s not that God is the problem. It’s that their heart is the problem. They were offering sacrifices but didn’t really care about them. They were showing up for worship and getting nothing out of it. They were there but not really present.

They were going through the motions! And so do we at times.

Isaiah’s answer…repent and come back. If you’ve run from the problems in life, blaming everyone along the way, then it’s time to stop running. It’s time to turn around, repent/apologize and make amends. It’s time to claim your piece in the pie so you can healthily move on.

If you’re a pie slinger, then you’re really missing out. Some of this pie might be a little bitter, but I can promise you that if you take time to claim your piece of the pie your relationships will be stronger and your life will actually be more fulfilling.

Do Not Run-away

Well, it’s Wednesday and if you’re awake anywhere in the world, you undoubtedly know that life can sometimes be challenging. As a matter of fact the odds are pretty strong that you are having a bad day right now.

If you’re having a great day, then good for you! I pray it stays that way and that this might be helpful sometime down the road. If you’re in one of those rough slumps, then I want to encourage you to keep going.

There are a couple different natural reactions to challenge in life. We call them fight or flight typically. The one is to rise above and push hard to bull your way through a challenging ordeal. The other is probably more typical, and it involves walking away and never looking back.

While the fight or flight methods are generally applied across the board in a variety of scenarios, there is a stark reality that we rarely consider when it comes to running away from our struggles or from those situations that are hard for us. You can’t really run away. It just doesn’t work like that.

You cannot run away from your problems because you bring you with you wherever you go. Nine times out of ten, we play a significant role in the problem we’re trying to flee. And if we’re trying to get away from a problem that we’re part of, then it just won’t work. You can’t run away from yourself!

We love to push blame on other people when it comes to our problems. It’s always someone else’s fault. She said such and such. He wasn’t kind. But what if the issue is inside us? What if it’s not her words or his tone or their actions? What if the problem really is our predisposition to not be able to handle our own shortcomings?

I know it’s tempting to hit the road when challenges arise. I know that many feel this is the best way to handle things, but it really isn’t. It might get you away from the person you no longer want to be around. It might get you out of a situation that’s uncomfortable. But it won’t fix anything, because there’s a really good chance at least part of the ownership of the problem lies in you.

Take time to evaluate the real root of the problem. Take inventory of what role you played in the situation from which you’re trying to run. Pause to collect yourself. Then step back in with a cool head and honest heart. It’s the only way to make sure you don’t take the problem with you wherever you go.

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