For the past couple of weeks we’ve discussed the three things every man needs in life based on the book Wild at Heart. These three things are a battle to fight, an adventure to conquer, and a beauty to pursue. Today we’re going after the damsel in distress!
Ok ladies before we get started in know that sounds a little demeaning but give me a few seconds here and hopefully it makes some sense. Hopefully it’s not as bad as it comes across at first!
Men have this built in desire and need to pursue or rescue someone. There’s something built into the DNA of a man to go after the girl and make sure she has what she needs. It’s like a rescue. Sure there are times when the fine maiden might literally need to be rescued from something terrible, but the day to day parts of life aren’t quite like that. So what then?
I think some of the older movies where the princess is trapped and needs the knight to come in with shining armor to save her have kind of ruined our idea of rescuing the princess. It paints the female as incapable and weak. But that’s not what this is about at all actually.
The idea of rescuing the beauty is less about her inability than it is about his need for pursuit and a validation of his presence in the relationship. When a couple first starts dating they pursue each other. They text in the middle of the day and include those sappy hearts and loving phrases. They get all gushy and mushy in their pursuit. The pursuit is all about showing each other that they are present for the other person. They’re demonstrating their willingness to go the extra mile for the other person…aka rescue them.
This rescue isn’t from a burning building but from aloneness, boredom, fear. It’s a pursuit of someone who doesn’t necessarily need help but needs to know they’re cared for and loved. The man has a need to be able to pursue his beauty and rescue her.
Unfortunately however this isn’t alway able to happen. Some women don’t want to be rescued or give an air that they don’t need him to rescue them. Sometimes the woman is powerful and confident and successful and he’s…well not that way at all. An insecure man with a powerful and successful woman just won’t last at all. I’ve seen it all too many times. And gents I’m going to be honest with you here. It’s not her fault she’s successful and confident. It’s not her fault that you’re feeling inadequate. And for goodness sake bailing when you feel inadequate only proves that you’re probably right!
When we pursue the beauty or rescue her, we’re showing her that she’s a really important part of our day to day lives. We’re reminding her that since the time we said “I do” we haven’t changed our minds. The pursuit of the beauty isn’t easy, so don’t for a second think this whole relationship thing is a walk in the park. If you’re looking for easy then you’re really not looking for marriage or any relationship at all!
If you can walk from it with relative ease, then you weren’t in it for the right reasons in the first place. Men you need to pursue the beauty. Not because she can’t do it. Not because she needs you to pursue or save her from someone or something. But because deep inside of you there’s a longing for someone to pursue. Someone to love. Someone for whom you can care.
Ladies let him pursue you. Don’t shut him down or close him out. Maybe even let him win from time to time. And remember the way he pursues you might not be exactly how you want to be pursued, so give him a little grace and acknowledge how he’s rescuing and pursuing you. He’ll do this with love and affection, gifts and accessories to your life, working hard to provide for you and your hobbies, time with you, time with the kids, lending a hand around the house or at least offering to help even though you won’t let him, and so many more things that often go missed in the day to day events of life. This is all about rescuing and pursuing the beauty in his life.
Ladies be willing to be rescued (pursued) because you’ll both benefit from it! Men get out there and quit being lazy. Don’t run from a woman who’s hard to pursue or doesn’t seem to need rescued. You’ll both experience an amazing reward if you just pursue the one who God gave you to pursue.
