There’s a thing going around these days when some people like to tell other people how to love properly. It’s a pretty touchy subject actually. It’s been around for quite some time but has gotten worse through the challenges we’ve faced in 2020 and now into 2021.
The thrust of this kind of thinking is basically saying that one set of actions has to be done to actually demonstrate love for someone else. When actually we’re saying that set of actions would make me feel more comfortable. Some in our world are trying to make everyone express their kindness in the same way. But that’s just not how it works.
There’s a book titled the 5 Love Languages and it’s a pretty good book. Granted its primary focus is on marriage relationships but there’s a crossover in application to all relationships. We have to be aware not only of how we receive love but also how someone else, the recipient of our love, receives it best.
There’s nothing more frustrating than going out of your way to show someone you love them only for them to totally miss it. I mean if you’re the gift giving type and the person you’re trying to love could care less about gifts, then your efforts will fail to communicate what you’re trying to say.
The problem with saying you have to do this or that particular thing to demonstrate love for another person is that you are only taking into account how you prefer to show love for someone else and NOT how they receive it. There are some people who are totally different than you. Some people don’t see the world the same way you do. When you aren’t willing to show them love in the way they best can receive it then you’re really not loving them. You’re trying to force them to be like you.
I get it. This isn’t easy. As a matter of fact it’s freaking hard sometimes. But if you love someone you really don’t care how hard it is. You’ll go out of your way to love them, not how you want to love them or how you’d like to be shown love, but how they best see love.
Do some investigative work. Find out how that other person in your life receives love and show them in their language not in your own. It will make a massive difference.