As some may know, my family now lives on over 12 acres of land. Some of that land is farmed while the rest is where our house sits. On the portion where our house sits, we currently have a garden that is bigger than the backyard at our previous home. It’s fantastic! I’ve planted carrots, onions, potatoes, beans, peas, tomatoes, cucumbers, cantaloupe, zucchini, sweet potatoes, pumpkins and several rows of sweet corn. I grew 99% of these plants from seeds in my basement grow room.
There were a few things I direct planted in the garden, like the sweet corn. I love me some good sweet corn in the summer months. And we even stagger planted so, Lord willing, we’ll have a crop that lasts for a longer duration. We are very much looking forward to freezing, canning, and all the things to better live off the land we have.
But in this whole process of gardening, something has kind of stood out to me. Not every seed grows. They all come from the same packet but not all of them grow. I planted several rows of corn but I have a few bare spots where the seed just simply didn’t germinate. How can that be? I planted them on the same day, in the same garden, with the same sunlight and same water pattern and all of them from the same packet! Yet about half a row just isn’t coming up.
The problem isn’t the amount of water nor sunlight. It’s not a matter of bad seeds either. The problem is…the soil. It’s the only thing that could possibly be wrong. It’s the only thing that could have variations in it. It’s really the only variable that I wasn’t able to control.
This reminds me a lot of communication! Have you ever said something to someone only to have them explode like a brick of C4? The words you said weren’t wrong or even mean spirited. They were just heard wrong. They fell on some bad soil.
If you’ve been on the giving end of a conversation that quickly turned to the receiving end of a mean spirited rebuttal or an out of character move, then you’ve been a witness to some bad soil. It’s unfortunate that the way someone hears something can so quickly change the tone of a conversation not to mention ruin an entire relationship.
But just like those corn seeds that I place in the garden have since become unusable, that’s what happens in some relationships when the soil of someone’s heart isn’t healthy. No matter what we say or how we say it, the seed won’t grow. The conversation will be heated. Feelings will become unnecessarily hurt. And in worst case scenarios, the relationship will be rotten.
Look, this is not a golden ticket to be a jerk. But it is the realization that no matter how hard you try or how good your intentions might be, some people are just living in a spot of bad soil. And unfortunately there’s nothing you can do to change the soil of someone’s heart.
So be kind. Talk gently. Be honest. Tell the truth. But know, that even if you take all of these precautions, some people just have something in their soil that you might not be able to overcome.
