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Tag: leadership (Page 6 of 16)

It’ll be ok

May 13, 2024 / / 0 Comments

I hate that phrase. It’ll be ok. It’ll all work out if you just have faith. Are you serious? I have to be honest, Christians say some really dumb and insensitive things!

One thing I wish people would learn is that if you don’t really know what to say, then it’s very much ok to keep the mouth closed! The worst is when people take things out of context. Grab that favorite bible verse and spit it back at someone who’s struggling or you think needs to hear just this little tidbit. If you’re going to do that make sure you have the whole story please!

This week we talked about one of those often out of context verses. It’s from Romans 8:28 and goes like this. And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. 

I know what that verse sounds like. And to be honest I’ve heard people take that verse and use it in situations where it just does not apply! Times like when someone is really hitting a wall with depression or loss. When someone is struggling with the weight of illness or relationship pains is not the time to throw that verse out! So if that’s not what it’s about, then what is it?

One thing we need to do before we speak is to make sure we know the context. What did Paul mean in these words? To whom was he speaking? What comes right before this? What comes right after it? These are just a few questions that help us make sure we’re appropriately applying a given verse.

In this particular case, Romans 8:28 isn’t about just sucking it up and trusting that the cancer will go away or that the divorce was for the better or whatever scenario we come up with. It’s about looking at the struggles in our lives through a different set of lenses.

Our struggles in life, yeah even the really crappy ones that no one wants to relive at all, are there because in the midst of them God is up to something. Not that we should grin and bear it. But that God is doing a hard thing in us to help us better reflect him to the world around us.

The point of our struggles isn’t that we have a lesson to learn or we’re being punished for a particular wrong doing. The struggles we face often are there to help us live out the purpose for which we were created. And that purpose is to reflect the image of Jesus everywhere we go.

This is the point of discipleship. If you’ve been with us here for any length of time, then you likely have heard me say that discipleship is the process of being transformed into the image of Christ for the sake of others. This is exactly what our struggles and pains are all about. Forming and often reforming that image of Christ in us.

Look – your struggles are going to flat suck some days. You’re not going to want to get out of bed they’re going to be so rough. You’re going to want to throw in the towel some days. You might even collapse on the floor in your bathroom unable to keep food down, laying in a puddle of your own tears not knowing how you’ll ever face tomorrow. But that struggle, as horrible as it is, is part of something way bigger than that moment.

Paul reminds us earlier in the chapter that when we compare our struggles to our good days, we won’t be able to handle it. But when we compare our hardships to the amazing grace and goodness of God that awaits us in heaven, then these struggles will eventually pass. When we keep our eyes stayed on the true and perfect cross of Jesus, then we begin to see past our struggles and find the glory of God that will one day be our reality.

So will it be ok? I really don’t know. It’s going to hurt. I can’t take away the pain. No one can. But I can help you see past the pain to the one who will be there long after the pain is gone. That’s even more powerful than knowing it’ll be ok.

Truth

May 10, 2024 / / 0 Comments

I was taught as a child that telling the truth was important. As a matter of fact, as I grew up, telling the truth became a sign of who you are as a person. Perhaps another post for another day will be on integrity and hypocrisy, but for now we’ll stick with something that should be simple – tell the truth.

To get started we probably should make sure we’re all on the same page. There is a ton of misinformation swirling around about what truth even is. So what is truth? According to the dictionary truth is defined as the property of being in accord with fact.

Did you get that? For truth to be truth, it has to be true and based on fact. Unfortunately, we live in a day and age when the common understanding of truth is that which is true to me. But that my friends is not truth. Truth is not relative to your circumstances. Truth doesn’t change just because you don’t like or you don’t agree with it. You can’t erase truth or cancel it just because it hurts your feelings!

Think of the truth of gravity. Say one day you don’t like the idea of gravity. You think it is restrictive and oppressive to have to live your life with your feet planted on the ground. Some people seem to be able to defy gravity because they can jump higher or longer than you. It’s just not fair and it makes you feel bad about yourself. So you one day decide you no longer believe gravity to be truth.

It doesn’t work that way! Just because you don’t like it doesn’t mean you can get rid of it. Erasing gravity from a text book doesn’t mean it’s not real! Getting rid of a person or place or historical period because it infringes on your personal beliefs and happiness quotient is like trying to erase gravity just because you don’t like it. Can’t do that and you know it.

Ok so what do you do when you don’t like what’s going on around you? There are really only two options. You can suck it up buttercup and deal with the harsh realities that sometimes life sucks and try to do something positive with it. Or you can mope around retelling your particular version of truth to make yourself feel better. Neither will feel great in the moment but one will make you stronger on the other side. And if you need a hint, burying the truth won’t make you stronger. It will just let you live in denial a little longer – and no I don’t mean the river in Africa!

Look sometimes the truth hurts. It hurts to tell. It hurts to hear. And often it hurts to have it applied to you. But it’s the truth, which means it’s what really is or has happened! You can’t change that any more than you can change gravity.

I’m not a fan of liars. Actually, lying is one thing I just can’t stand. If you’re on my staff and I catch you lying, you won’t be there long. My kids know that I’d rather them tell me the hard truth than me catch them in a lie. I’ve walked away from friendships with people who just can’t tell the truth.

So be a truth teller. Be honest. Even if you don’t like the message or what it means could/should happen to you – the truth is the truth and your raw emotions don’t have the right to spin a truth to make your feel better.

Hammocks and Jesus

April 29, 2024 / / 1 Comment

Have you ever laid in a hammock? Some people love them. Basking in the sun on a warm summer day. A light breeze blowing. The birds are chirping in the trees. Every once in a while you hear an airplane doing a pass above the skies. And as you take a deep breath you smell the aroma of fresh cut grass.

Man almost takes you to a different place doesn’t it? Some people just love a good rest in a hammock! But I’m not one of those people. There’s something about hammocks that cause me trouble. You need to be able to sit still. And if you know me, I don’t sit still very well.

For some hammocks are a wonderful moment of rest and relaxation. For people like me, they’re a death trap waiting to throw you to the ground and laugh at you while they spin around in an untamed fashion.

Ok so maybe I’m slightly over exaggerating here. Still I’m not a fan. I’m also not a beach fan or nap fan either. But that’s not the point.

Even though I don’t do hammocks, I think they can teach a little bit about Jesus. As I was reading through Romans 8 recently, I got a bit of an image run through my mind. I think in pictures if you didn’t know.

I started to see the image of a hammock. And instead of the hammock representing a nice summer rest, I saw it as a picture of my salvation in Jesus. I started to think of the reasons I don’t care for hammocks. I have a hard time laying still so they tend to throw me out.

Then it hit me. That’s kind of like salvation. Not that Jesus throws me out when I don’t rest. It’s the fact that the more I struggle and fight and work for my salvation, the harder it is to appreciate and live in it.

When I struggle in a hammock I fall out and hurt myself. When, instead of resting in what Jesus did for me to save me, I try to be a good enough person to earn God’s love or work hard to somehow help God save me, I find myself falling out of love with God. When I see my work as something that helps God save me, I never find rest. I fight against the hammock. And while I can’t make God love me any less, I sure can lessen the power of God’s salvation in my life.

I guess the point here is that no matter what you personality we all need to rest in the finished work of Jesus. Anytime we try to add anything, even our own good works or loving efforts, to what Jesus did we set ourselves up to fall out of that hammock. Jesus plus anything is nothing.

Today, find yourself a hammock. A real one or a figurative one. A place to rest and just revel in the wonders of God’s love for you. Let him hold you. Let him be the one who has today under control. Enjoy the love and mercy of a God who has even this day in his hand.

Pie Slinging Problems

April 24, 2024 / / 1 Comment

The tendency, when we face a problem, is to look outside of us for the problem and inside for the solution. We do it all the time actually. It’s the blame game. Something goes wrong and it’s generally someone, or something, else’s fault.

You get to work late, so it’s traffic’s fault. You oversleep. It surely has to be that your alarm didn’t even go off. You can’t stick to a diet. Well it must be that the other people in your house don’t diet the same way you do so you give in just to make them feel better.

This is not a healthy approach to problem solving and it stems from a significant internal issue. There is a better and healthier way to look at things. The problem generally is inside of us while the solution is outside of us.

When we identify the problem as being someone else’s fault, we tend to think we are our own right answer. Going to be late for work? Instead of getting up a little earlier, which often means going to bed a little earlier, we drive a little faster. When the problem is cast onto someone else then the solution is sought by deeper resolve or greater effort.

But what happens if we flip the script on this? What happens when we admit our fault in the problem? Instead of throwing the pie of blame at someone else, we belly up to the table and eat the pie we baked with our own actions.

I unfortunately see this in my life as a pastor as well. It actually happens more often than I’d like to admit. We feel a little dry in our spiritual life. We aren’t getting anything out of church. We feel like the music is meh at best. We don’t like that style or the way he dresses. We don’t like the preaching style or the way she confronted me about that issue (even though I know I’m wrong).

Whatever it is, we all too often react the same way. We cast blame on the other party and leave. We feel like the worship isn’t what we want, so we leave for greener pastures elsewhere. Or we walk away because they are obviously the problem.

The issue is that problem will follow us. The issue is we’re doing it for the wrong reason, with the wrong heart. Maybe it’s not the worship that’s dry? Maybe it’s that our heart isn’t in the right place! Maybe it’s not that we were offended by the way we were called out for something? Maybe it’s that we actually feel guilty. And instead of repenting of these things, it’s easier to just turn and walk away.

But walking away from our brokenness won’t fix it. Blaming someone else for something that really is our problem, won’t make the problem go away. It might delay its effects. It might elongate the time between the problem and the explosion in our lives. But it won’t make it go away.

Isaiah really drives this home in his letter in the Bible. Look some don’t like the Bible because it’s all churchy, whatever that really means. But the Bible is massively practical. Even if you’re not a religious person, I’m sure you can get something very practical out of the things found in the Bible.

Isaiah walks through the life of Israel. He talks about their problems and the many issues they’ve faced in life. Then around chapter 43-44 he starts to show how it’s not that God is the problem. It’s that their heart is the problem. They were offering sacrifices but didn’t really care about them. They were showing up for worship and getting nothing out of it. They were there but not really present.

They were going through the motions! And so do we at times.

Isaiah’s answer…repent and come back. If you’ve run from the problems in life, blaming everyone along the way, then it’s time to stop running. It’s time to turn around, repent/apologize and make amends. It’s time to claim your piece in the pie so you can healthily move on.

If you’re a pie slinger, then you’re really missing out. Some of this pie might be a little bitter, but I can promise you that if you take time to claim your piece of the pie your relationships will be stronger and your life will actually be more fulfilling.

The Struggle Is Real

April 22, 2024 / / 1 Comment

Ok so I should start by saying I have been a tad out of routine lately and these haven’t been nearly as often as I’d like. Got a bit busy but think we’re on the right track again.

This Sunday we landed the plane on chapter 7 of the book of Romans. It’s a chapter all about how the life of the follower of Jesus is not as easy as we would like to paint it at times. We have a tendency to think of the Christian life as some kind of surreal experience. It’s like once we “commit to following Jesus” everything in life starts going “better.” Which if you’re a follower of Jesus you know that isn’t true. In the least. The struggle is real!

Romans 7 is a raw and honest assessment of the life of the believer in Jesus. We’re at war…constantly. But not at war with one another or the world around us like we tend to display in our social media posts. We’re at war with ourselves.

If we’re honest, truly honest, with ourselves we’ll have to admit that we don’t always do the things we know we should be doing. We make up our minds about something and then get distracted. We have the best of intentions but fail in our attempts to actually do the thing we know we should be doing.

Paul, one of the rockstars of the Christian movement in the New Testament, admits to this struggle as well. And if he struggles then we should pretty much be ready for the struggle as well.

Here’s my favorite verse from this section. The good I want to do, that I do not do. But the evil I do not want to do, that I end up doing. Can you relate? I sure can.

For the longest time, it seemed as if the church portrayed the image of come inside with us and your life will be better. I don’t think that’s the message of the Bible. It sure isn’t the message of Paul here in Romans. And it is not the reality that I’ve faced in my own life.

I guess if we were more accurately to describe the life of the follower of Jesus it would be something like…come inside just as you are and realize what real love feels like. I mean seriously! If you knew everything there was about me, you would not like me at all let alone love me! But God in all his infinite wisdom, knows every little thing about me (past, present, future) and still loves me. We’ll talk more about that in the weeks to come.

I have people that are friends, or were friends(?), that just can’t see past the flaws in my character. I guess that makes one wonder if they were ever really friends to begin with or just coming alongside me for something they could gain from me? It doesn’t really matter, because even though people in this world have messed up priorities with regard to relationships God still loves me unconditionally.

Paul goes back and forth in this whole section about just how bad things really are. The struggle and the pain of trying to live for Christ only to realize the more I know Jesus the worse I see my own intentions and actions. Then he ends with what hope is there?!?!

He’s seemingly exasperated and overwhelmed. Wretched man that I am! he says! What hope does he have? What hope do we have? It’s one and the same. Jesus. Yeah I know you were expecting that answer but do you know why?

Jesus knew your past. Knows your present. And sees your future. He knows every little thing about you. And that’s why he came. When he went to the cross and said Father, forgive them for they know not what they do, he was talking about me and you. He saw the bad decision I made. He saw the website you clicked and lingered on just a little too long. He knows the lie you told or the hate in your heart for that neighbor who’s a real pain. He knows all of it! And that’s why he did what he did.

He went to the cross. He took all of those bad choices and challenging moments and nailed each one individually to the cross. They didn’t kill him. But he willingly gave his life to free you from each of those moments. It’s like taking that cool cleaner stuff to a whiteboard and removing all evidence that it was ever written on before! That’s what the cross has done.

So the struggle we face isn’t about pleasing God or having a perfect life. The struggle is the sin vs salvation fight in my heart. We’re 100% sinful but at the same time 100% saint. We’re not going to be perfect and God knows that! But we’re called to live a changed life. Coming back to Jesus for forgiveness when life goes off the rails. Then get back on track and start moving again.

I know the struggle is real but the salvation God offers in Jesus is even more lasting!

Death Is Blind

April 15, 2024 / / 0 Comments

Tall or short. Fat or skinny. Rich or poor. Black or white. Old or young. Popular or unknown. It really doesn’t matter. Death doesn’t care about any of these things. When it shows up, it’s blind to all of these peripheral matters.

Over the past couple of weeks I’ve been in the presence of death more than I really care to be. From responding to emergency calls as a chaplain with the Sheriff’s office to pastoral care at life’s end for members of the church I serve, I’ve stood toe to toe with death the past two weeks on more than one occasion.

Death doesn’t care what time of day it arrives or who it comes to claim. It just shows up when the time has come. Some are prepared for it whatever that means. While others are totally blindsided by its presence on the doorstep.

One of the calls I received was a total shock to the family while the other was somewhat predicted. One was devastating and heartbreaking, while the other was filled with hope and joy for what was to come. One was calm and peaceful while the other was anything but peaceful. One was young and the other was a life well lived.

The two scenarios couldn’t be much different actually! But they still had something in common. Death came knocking and death seemingly won, at least for the moment.

In life we try to do everything we possibly can to prepare for every possible scenario. We squirrel money away for retirement. We stockpile food for a catastrophe. We have security systems to keep us safe. We even buy life insurance in the event we can’t outrun death when it does show up.

We try so very hard to control the outcome of our actions. We diet and exercise. We get good sleep and have mindfulness times throughout our week. We take vitamins or use those voodoo oils (yeah I said that for some friends but I really mean those essential oil things).

We can be healthy in every aspect of life medically speaking but when death knocks sometimes there’s nothing you can do to stop it. And it really doesn’t care.

The most recent couple of times death has come knocking it hasn’t even been during daylight hours. It wasn’t in the middle of the day when I could break away. It was overnight and interrupted sleep. Death just doesn’t care who it impacts or when or where.

Death is blind, but we don’t have to be. The most recent death I experienced was for a woman who lived a very long life. She died at 104 years old. Just a few months shy of 105 actually! And while death at any age or time really stings, she was ready. She wasn’t blind to death even though it was blind to her.

She was ready, but what does that even mean? You don’t pack a bag to get ready to die. You don’t typically put it in your day planner. But she was ready. She prepared for this day for most of her life. She did it by knowing what death meant for her.

She was a church person, as am I. She knew that death was never meant to be part of her story. But she also knew that since death was one day going to come and find her, she needed to arm herself with the only thing proven to beat death. What beats death? What beats a blind and indiscriminate killer of all?

She knew the only thing she could arm herself with was the promise of the one who died willingly and rose powerfully to give us hope unceasingly. She would always say that her life was mostly good and that the only way life could be fully good was when she was with Jesus. She knew that Jesus was her death defeater. So now she’s not just mostly good. She’s more than mostly good. And I bet she even gave death a little sassy grin because she knew what death forgot. In Jesus, life always wins and that’s more than mostly good!

An Automated Life

April 12, 2024 / / 0 Comments

One thing that is becoming really popular that I’m not sure I’m totally on board with yet is the whole automated lifestyle. I definitely get the convenience factor! But there are some things that are best left to a human. Like driving, especially on the open road! 

I was in Phoenix not too long ago for a conference. We stayed a little farther away from the conference venue putting us in the Tempe area. The hotel was nestled right in the midst of the hustle and bustle of college life.

While walking down the sidewalk on our way to dinner, we were passed by one of those Waymo cars. If you’re not familiar, it’s a self driving car. It’s covered in cameras just about everywhere. It’s honestly pretty ugly, but that’s not the point.

It’s a self driving car! The cameras keep it from running over pedestrians. The mapping system gets you where you need to go with accuracy. But there’s no one in the driver’s seat! That bothers me. Like a lot!

While I’m not a huge fan of automated cars driving through cities or down freeways, I do think there are some things that can be automated to make life a little easier. I like those learning thermostats and automatic lights that you can control through an app. Those are especially cool when someone is watching your house and you decide to have a little fun by blinking lights at them. Really not nice but very funny!

There is a great convenience in the automated world that can be super helpful! I use out of office responders when I’m going to be away from tech for a while. I use template emails to respond to mass email lists. There are some great benefits when using automation, which got me thinking…

Can I automate other parts of my life? The parts that are easy to miss or even skip!

It isn’t really the same as a self driving car or learning thermostat but the principle is similar. What actions can I predetermine to prevent me from dropping the ball later?

A quick example is something my parents taught me growing up. Actually many parents do this! Before going to bed at night, we had to set our clothes out for the next day. This prevented a couple of problems. We weren’t rushing around in the morning. We were guaranteed to have clothes that matched (more of a problem for boys than girls). And the clothes were sure to be school appropriate.

I still do this to this day. I set my clothes out the night before so I can just get up and go in the morning. When I wake up at 4am to get ready for the gym, I don’t want to have to fumble around getting clothes out or forget a change of clothes for work. So I pack a duffle with my clothes for the day and set out gym clothes. Makes life way easier!

You can do this for your meals as well. You can’t automate them unless you do one of those order by mail things, but you can predetermine and prepare ahead of time. If you’re doing a healthy eating kick, you can precook your meals and package them in containers in your fridge making it a simple grab and go in the morning when you leave. I have friends that do freezer meal prep stuff where 3 or 4 of them get together and make a bunch of casseroles and then separate it out into containers to be put in the freezer. Bam automated healthy eating.

The point here is to find what areas in your life you can automate or predetermine. The more of your life you can predetermine, the less likely you’ll be to react in a moment where clarity is lacking. I guess a semi-automated life isn’t all that bad after all!

Decisions

April 11, 2024 / / 0 Comments

We all make them. Pretty much every moment of every day is filled with decisions. Some of us love to make decisions while others have a really hard time making them. But there are some rules when it comes to decision making that might be helpful.

To get things started I want to let you peek into the window of my life. I make decisions all the time. These decisions are mine but at times they are decisions made for others as well.

I decide what time to get up in the morning. I decide what foods I’m going to eat. I decide to get my clothes ready the night before so I don’t get tempted to skip going to the gym. I decide how late I’m going to stay at work and I decide whether or not I’m going to take work home.

Every single one of these decisions are very intentional which means there comes a time when I really don’t want to be making decisions. There are some times in life when I just need a break from making decisions.

We often have a conversation at home about dinner. What do you want for dinner? It’s a question I get asked frequently. My wife is a planner. She plans her day and our meals and many other things! But when I am asked what I want for dinner next Tuesday, tomorrow night or even tonight I generally am zero help. This is in no way a knock on my wife! I love the fact that there’s always something that’s planned for dinner! I just don’t like to make that decision. By the time I get home at night I really don’t want to make another decision. I make decisions all day that impact other people so letting someone else plan my dinner is a welcomed relief! If she plans it, I’ll gladly help make it. I just don’t really care what the meal theme is! And if I’m being totally honest, if I was in charge it would be burgers or steak pretty much on the nightly.

Everything we do is based off of a decision we make. But there’s a rule I follow when it comes to decision making. Ok there are a couple. The first one is pretty simple.

Make your decision then move on it. Don’t second guess it until you have the perspective necessary to evaluate it objectively. There’s a lot there, so here’s a quick unpacking.

So often I see people make decisions and immediately wonder if it was the right decision. They decide what to do and before they can even start moving there is a sense of guilt, confusion, fear and anxiety that overwhelm. It’s almost life stopping.

There’s a line that’s been attributed to a church guy named Martin Luther. The line goes like this If you’re going to sin, sin boldly. The idea is to just go for it. I mean when it comes to decision making, just decide then take action. Stop lallygagging around and dragging your feet. Be confident in the decision you made and take the necessary action to pull it off.

Never make a permanent decision based on a temporary emotion.

This is a big one that I see happen far too often. It’s easy to let the emotion of a moment, generally one of those heated moments filled with anger and hurt, to get in the way of a sensible approach to life.

Someone says something that we aren’t sure we like, so we blast them on social media, disown them as a friend, leave and never look back. We don’t like how things are going at work so we walk into the boss’s office and quit. Or in today’s climate we just don’t show up the next day. We hear someone say something that we feel is edgy or controversial and instead of having an honest conversation about it, we just break the friendship and walk away. We cancel them from our lives and act as if they never existed.

When we lead from our emotions we often open the door for some nasty storms to follow us. And if we’re honest, in the end those decisions have left us in a bit of a vulnerable situation.

So don’t make a decision that can alter your life when you’re in the heat of a moment. Never make a permanent decision in the heat of anger or the dread of fear. Don’t say yes to the guy just because you’re in a moment of desperation for someone and I guess he’ll do because he’s here. Permanent decisions made based on temporary emotions generally don’t work in the long run.

Decisions are critical to life. We have to make them but we have to be very careful that we’re not making rash decisions out of an emotionally turbulent moment.

What’s It Gonna Take?

April 3, 2024 / / 0 Comments

As I get older I start to think about the world differently. Some of you are chuckling at that statement. A handful of you are likely rolling your eyes saying what do you mean start to get older you’re already old! While others of you are thinking, just wait til he is my age and then he’ll really start to think about life! Either way this isn’t really about my age but about life perspective.

You see your maturity and perspective is not determined by your age. In life you’ll likely meet the 50 year old who acts like they’re 18. Then turn the corner to find the 13 year old who seems to have their life together far more than most 60 year olds. Trust me I’ve seen both!

The reason here is about perspective. It’s about the things in life that kind of sink into the noggin a bit and make you pause, even if for only a few minutes.

I think much of our lives can be summarized by the motto taken for granted. Really think about the things you do and say and even believe. How much of it do you really give a second thought? And how much is kind of second nature?

You get up in the morning shower, get dressed, and make your coffee. You walk your dog and get your morning chores finished before leaving for work. How much of that did you just do on autopilot? But what if the power is out? Yeah you’ll quickly think about that morning coffee and shower a little differently.

Maybe you walk on a treadmill or jog around your neighborhood or even lift weights. How much of that do you actually think about? Probably not much. When we do something enough times, we just kind of go into autopilot and don’t give life much thought. But add in a small injury and every move gives you pause.

Life can be like that sometimes. We need to have the regular flow of our lives interrupted in order to really see things, even the things right in front of us.

So the question we ask today is What’s it going to take? What’s it going to take to make you take your health seriously? For me it was a ridiculously high cholesterol reading. What’s it going to take to make you adjust your workouts to something more in line with your fitness goals? For me it was a dislocated shoulder. What’s it going to take for you to take your finances seriously? What about your marriage and parenting? Or what about your faith?

The more years I have behind me in this life, the more I realize I’ve probably taken a few things for granted. There have been some moments I needed that proverbial wake up call to shake the cobwebs loose so I can see just how important things are in life. What’s it going to take for you? Don’t wait til you get smacked upside the head with one of those 2x4s of life. Slow down and take seriously the things in your life. You won’t regret it. I can guarantee this one.

An 8 In A World of 9s.

March 20, 2024 / / 1 Comment

Ok so the title here might seem a tad weird. If you don’t know things about personality profiles and especially the enneagram, then this title won’t make sense. Here’s a quick 30,000 foot view of what these numbers are about.

The enneagram system has broken a personality into nine different types. Each of these types means something different. There are types ranging from reformer, to achiever, to challenger and peacemaker.

The personality type associated with the number nine is the peacemaker. This person is fairly easy going, receptive, agreeable, reassuring, and many other things like these. I am not a nine.

This doesn’t mean that I can’t be agreeable. It just means that gaining consensus isn’t the most important thing to me. I’m an eight, which is the challenger. This means that I tend to challenge the status quo. I am willing to try to new things and tackle obstacles without a fully thought out plan.

Now to make matters a tad more interesting, I also have tendencies toward the number three which is the achiever. I get things done. I have a tendency to like to succeed and win while doing it. This combination of a 3 and an 8 has been so lovingly called the bull in the china shop.

Really and truly this person, aka me, is the kind of person who sees something that needs done and makes sure it gets done. Sometimes we get things done with the help of others. Sometimes we do it in spite of others. Sometimes we get things done by plowing over others.

I’m not defending this by any means! I’m just telling you how it often plays out for me.

You see the problem with being an eight/three kind of person is the world isn’t really full of this kind of personality. There are definitely some people out there like me, but if I’m being honest I’m very glad we’re not the majority!

I know this is who I am which is why I surround myself with the people I generally surround myself with people who are not 8/3 kind of people. I generally will find nines, lots and lots of nines, to help me out. I even tend to hire people who are nines. The other personality numbers are important for sure but something I feel the need for in my circle is to surround myself with nines – peacemakers.

Now personally profiling is something that I find super interesting! It helps me know how to talk to someone and how they respond to leadership. It helps get people involved and keep them moving.

Knowing your personality helps you see how you respond when stress hits or when life gets upside-down. For me, and 8/3 kind of person who acts like a bull in a china shop, when stress bombards me I tend to double down and push harder. I can get a little edgy and sometimes a bit hard to be around.

Again, this is not an excuse! I know this about myself which is why I try to curb this part of me. Some days I’m way better at this than others.

Why do I share this?

Being self aware is a tremendous character trait to possess. If you’re not self aware, you can steam roll people and not know it. You can blow up and have no idea why. I’m not perfect at this by any means. That’s not the point here. I am however working on this part of my character.

The more I know me, the more likely I am to be able to curb the outbursts. It’s like Bruce Banner from the Marvel world. Banner is the one that becomes the Hulk, the big green monster. When he becomes more self aware he can stay out of situations that cause him to get angry, thus becoming the green monster with unimaginable strength.

When we can harness our strengths and tame our weaknesses we can become a ton more effective in life and leadership. So what are you? An 8? Maybe a 4? You might even be one of those 9s I was referring to in this post. Whatever you are know yourself and how you react in stress situations, and you’ll be surprised what you can accomplish and how much better life can be for those around you!

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