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Trust is Built in the Shadow of Fear

June 18, 2024 / / 0 Comments

Trust. A seemingly fragile word, often invoked but rarely understood. We live in a world where fear dominates our every move. Fear of failure, fear of betrayal, fear of the unknown. It looms over us like a terrifying darkness, casting a long and ominous shadow across our lives. But do you want to know the kicker? It’s within this very veil of darkness that trust can be forged. It’s in the midst of our fears that the most profound and unshakeable trust is able to emerge.

The Paradox of Fear

Fear is a primal instinct, hardwired into our brains since the fall of humanity. It’s a survival mechanism, designed to keep us safe from the prowling lions of our ancestors’ nightmares. Yet, in the modern world, these predators have morphed into subtler, more insidious threats: the fear of losing our jobs, the fear of being judged, the fear of emotional vulnerability, the fear of making a mistake. Oh the horror!

But fear is not the enemy. It’s a crucible, a test of our true character. It’s easy to trust someone when life is smooth sailing. But when the seas get rough, that’s when real trust is built. In the darkest moments, when fear is at its peak, trust has the ability to shine its brightest.

The Anatomy of Trust

Trust isn’t given though; it’s earned. And it’s earned through actions, not words. In the shadow of fear, promises mean nothing without the backbone of reliability and the spine of consistency. When someone stands by you in your darkest hour, that’s when trust takes root. When someone has your back when the stakes are high, that’s when trust blooms and grows.

It’s about showing up when it matters most. When you’re drowning in self-doubt and the world feels like it’s caving in, those who reach out their hands to pull you from the abyss are the ones you learn to trust implicitly. Their actions speak louder than any platitudes ever could. But you need to be willing to reach for their outstretched hand. Trust requires you to move too. Even if it’s just one small step, trust demands action.

Betrayal: The Ultimate Teacher

Nothing teaches the value of trust quite like betrayal. It cuts deep, leaving scars that never fully heal. Betrayal forces us to confront the reality of human fallibility. It’s a brutal wake-up call that not everyone is worthy of our trust.

But betrayal also teaches us discernment. It sharpens our instincts, making us more attuned to the subtle signals of who deserves our trust. In the shadow of betrayal, we learn to value the rare, precious gems of loyalty and integrity. The pain of betrayal becomes the forge in which our understanding of trust is refined and tempered as long as we don’t let that betrayal bury us in an ever deepening pit of fear and despair.

Fear as a Catalyst for Trust

Fear and trust are inextricably linked. The greater the fear, the more powerful the trust that can emerge from its shadow. It’s a high-stakes game, one that demands courage and vulnerability. But those who dare to play it reap the richest rewards.

When we allow ourselves to be vulnerable, we open the door to genuine connection. It’s a risk, but it’s one worth taking. It’s one too costly not to take. By confronting our fears head-on, we create the conditions for trust to thrive. It’s about acknowledging our fears, not denying them. It’s about saying, “I am afraid, but I choose to trust anyway.”

The Role of Integrity

If fear is the dark shadow that slows us and trust is the way out, then integrity is the cornerstone of trust. It’s about doing the right thing, even when no one is watching. In a world rife with deception and half-truths, integrity stands out like a beacon. It’s the unwavering commitment to honesty, transparency, and accountability.

People with integrity inspire trust because they live by their principles. They don’t bend to the whims of convenience or expediency. Their word is their bond, and their actions consistently align with their values. In the shadow of fear, integrity is the anvil upon which trust is forged.

Building Trust in a Fearful World

So how do we build trust in a world dominated by fear? It starts with small acts of courage. It starts with showing up, even when it’s uncomfortable. It starts with being honest, even when the truth is painful. It starts with taking small steps in the direction you know you have to move, even when the final destination isn’t completely clear.

It’s about creating a culture of trust, one where people feel safe to be vulnerable. It’s about leading by example, demonstrating through our actions that trust is possible, even in the most fear-filled scenarios.

In the end, trust is not the absence of fear, but the triumph that comes through it. It’s the audacious belief that despite our fears, despite the risks, despite the past hurts and let downs, there is something stronger that binds us. It’s the understanding that true trust is built not in the absence of fear, but in its very shadow.

In this harsh, unforgiving world, trust is our most valuable currency. It’s rare, precious, and hard-won. But for those who dare to face their fears, who dare to be vulnerable, the rewards are unparalleled. Trust can then become the light that emerges from the darkest shadows, a beacon of hope in a world filled with uncertainty.

Tech Takeover

June 14, 2024 / / 2 Comments

How technology has taken over our lives.

The early 2010s were a whirlwind of transformation in the tech industry, a time when the digital age truly came into its own. For many people, this era wasn’t just a phase; it was a revolutionary experience that would fundamentally change how they interacted with the world. From the palm of our hands to the screens in our pockets, technology became an inseparable part of our day to day lives. Here’s a quick peak at the seismic shifts that caused this tech takeover.

Smartphones: Making The World Fit In Our Pocket

Remember the time when your phone was just for calling and texting? Those days are long gone. The launch of the iPhone in 2007 was just the beginning. By the early 2010s, smartphones were everywhere! Not to be outdone, Android devices soon flooded the market, putting these powerful yet affordable mini-computers in the palms of millions of hands worldwide.

These weren’t just phones; they became lifelines. With access to the internet, a camera, and a vast array of apps, smartphones became the go-to device for nearly everything. They quickly moved from a mere luxury to a near necessity in a few short years. Over the years, these smart devices have changed how people communicated, entertained themselves, and even navigated daily life.

Social Media: The New Hangout Spot

If you didn’t post about it, did it even happen? Social media platforms like Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and Snapchat weren’t just websites; they were the new social spaces. These platforms exploded in popularity from 2010-2014, easily becoming the version of the community park for local watering hole for social interaction.

Facebook was where you kept up with friends and family. Twitter became the place for quick updates and news. Instagram turned everyone into a photographer. Did you even eat if you didn’t post a picture about it? Snapchat added a whole new level of fun to these virtual, social interactions that were here one minute and gone the next . For many young people, social media was the key to staying connected, sharing experiences, and keeping up with the Jones’s.

Always On, Always Connected: More Than Can You Hear Me Now

When high speed internet became mobile it was truly the game-changer that put the world in the back pocket of our Levis. With the rollout of 3G and 4G networks, the internet became truly mobile. No more waiting to get home to check your email or load a webpage; it was all right there in your pocket.

This constant connectivity meant young people could browse, stream, click, scroll, and post anytime – anywhere. The internet became an inseparable part of daily life, blurring the lines between our online and offline worlds. Going through a dead spot for cell service felt like you were in some real life Twilight Zone

The App Explosion: There’s an App for That

Remember when you needed separate devices for everything? A somewhat bulky camera for pictures, a Nintendo Switch or Gameboy for road trips, a GPS for directions? The early 2010s brought an app revolution that consolidated all these functions into one device that fit in the side pocket of those yoga pants.

App stores became treasure troves of functionality. Need to catch up on the news? There’s an app for that. Want to play a game? There’s an app for that. Looking to learn a new language? Yep – there’s an app for that too. This app revolution made smartphones nearly essential for daily life! It meant having a tool for every aspect of life right in your pocket.

Time To Cut The Cable: Entertainment On-Demand

Gone are the days of waiting for your favorite show to air or your favorite song to play on the radio. The early 2010s saw the rise of streaming services like Netflix, Spotify, and YouTube, which revolutionized how people, especially young people, consumed entertainment.

With thousands upon thousands of songs, movies and books available at our fingertips, the media world was turned on its head. Binge-watching became a weekend staple, and discovering new music was just a tap of the finger away. These streaming services provided a personalized, on-demand entertainment experience that fed right into our instant gratification generation.

Chromebooks Abound: Education in the Digital Age

But not to worry. Education wasn’t left behind in this technology surge. Schools of all shapes and sizes embraced this new array of digital tools, transforming the learning experience. E-books, online courses, and virtual classrooms became common, thus making education available for nearly everyone at an almost on demand pace.

Not only was this convenient! It meant new ways of learning and engaging with information. The traditional classroom that worked for generations was now filled with digital resources, making learning more dynamic, interactive, and flexible. Technology became a second teacher in nearly every classroom. And it quickly moved beyond a fun addition to a critical component of academic life, preparing students for what was sure to become a digital future.

The Rise of Digital Natives

At the heart of this tech explosion was a shift in our culture as a whole. Those who were young people being raised in the early 2010s weren’t just users of technology; they were digital natives. They grew up with it, adapted to it, and embraced it in ways previous generations hadn’t. The generation known as Gen-Z is a generation that hasn’t known a life without this technology revolution.

The more widely accepted it became the more technology moved from just a tool to a way of life. It shaped how this generation interacted with each other, how they learned, and where they found entertainment. The understanding that technology was pivotal in day-to-day life anchored its role in youth culture (and beyond).

A Decade of Transformation

In short, the early 2010s were more than just a few years with some technology advancements; they would become a new era that ultimately redefined our culture – especially the youth culture. Smartphones, social media, cellular internet, app stores, streaming services, and educational technology converged creating a whole new world of possibilities.

For younger generations, this wasn’t just about keeping up with the latest trends; it was about integrating technology into every aspect of life. The tech takeover of the early 2010s set the stage for a future where technology is no longer an addition to life, but an essential part of how we experience it.

And just think, it all started with that little device in your pocket.

I Will Never Use AI

June 13, 2024 / / 1 Comment

I’ve been hearing a ton lately about the use of AI technology for a variety of things in life. From writing papers to fears of letting AI run the world, there seem to be people all over the map on this issue. But where do you fall?

My favorite comment lately is the one that emphatically says I will NEVER use AI.

What I love about this claim is that it’s typed from a smart phone into a social media platform. Not to mention the fact that spell check, which likely was used during the typing of the post, is at a minimum a base form of AI.

Look I get it! If you watched I-Robot then you’re probably a tad freaked out about artificial intelligence running the world! But really? Never going to use it? It’s all bad? Can’t have a good use at all?

I mean seriously, I really am not a fan of automated checkout stations at the local grocery or hardware store. I’ll wait a few extra minutes if it means I can talk to a real human instead of fumbling all over a touch screen. It’s less about the tech and more about keeping people in jobs!

The idea behind AI is to automate what we don’t actually need to do. Are there processes or actions that can be done without a human touch? What are you doing that can be done without you handling it at all, or at best minimally?

Thank about the general use of AI for a second. There could be some good uses for AI. I mean after all, a program that’s able to search common problems to a situation and find best practices all with a simple written or even spoken command, is a pretty helpful tool! Gathering lists of vacation spots in a given area so you can research them, could be pretty darn helpful! Finding best practices on a given topic without scouring the inter webs could save you tons of time!

I use AI technology from time to time. No, I don’t use it to write sermons, there’s a bit of an ethical dilemma there to say the very least! But I will use AI to come up with a list of topics to write about, or a creative title for something, or a different way to word a paragraph or email. I have a bible software that allows me to research a word or phrase to gather insights on how it’s used throughout the Bible and in cultural contexts outside of biblical history.

I’m kind of curious where you land on the use of AI. But one more thing before we close this post out (and yes I’m really typing this at my standing desk with my forearms cramping after an arm workout). Just thought I’d make that clear.

For those who use AI, here are 3 keys to keep in mind.

  1. If you use it, don’t hide it. One thing that’s pretty terrible is claiming something as yours when it’s not! That’s called plagiarism if you didn’t know. And yep that cool spell check AI that’s built into my laptop just fixed the word plagiarism for me because I stink at spelling!
  2. Using AI can’t replace your real work. If you’re a content creator type person, you can’t just use AI to replace your workload. You can use it to get started or get you over a creative hump but you really need to touch the content to assure it’s yours. I’ve tried to have AI create content in my style, but it really can’t get the method of writing that is “me.” You will need to put your stamp on it at a very minimum.
  3. This one’s for my pastor friends – don’t have AI write your sermons. Really not a great idea. Use it for an illustration perhaps, but don’t have an AI bot replace your study time and investment into the topic about which you’re speaking. It’s not just a bad idea; it’s kind of a bonehead move. Not to mention unethical unless you’re going to admit that ChatGPT wrote your sermon for you!

Look, there are many other cautions and rules when it comes to the use of AI. These are three of my top go to thoughts when it comes to using AI in my daily work. What are your thoughts?

Self-Awareness is Your GPS to Life

June 5, 2024 / / 0 Comments

Imagine planning a vacation without knowing your starting point. You wouldn’t just pack a suitcase, hop in the car, and drive aimlessly, right? Even if you know where you’re going, you’ll never get there if you don’t know your starting point! Yet, many people navigate through life without knowing their “location”—a.k.a. self-awareness. It’s like trying to use a GPS without entering a starting point: futile, frustrating, and disastrous.

Self-awareness is your GPS for all things development. It’s not just about knowing where you want to go but understanding where you are now. Being self-aware is crucial and it can keep you from metaphorically driving off a cliff or ending up in one of life’s sketchy roadside diners.

Finding Your Home Address: The Starting Point of Self-Awareness

First off, let’s clarify what self-awareness actually is. It’s not just some fluffy, new-age concept; it’s the ability to see yourself clearly and objectively through reflection and self examination. It’s about understanding your emotions, strengths, weaknesses, motivations, and the impact you have on others. Think of it as the “You are here” dot on the map of your life.

Without self-awareness, you might as well be a tourist in your own life, grasping an outdated guidebook, oblivious to the hidden mickey’s or even the pitfalls along the way. You’re like that friend who insists they know the way but ends up leading everyone in circles until you miss the sunset at the perfect mountain lookout. Annoying, right?

Plotting the Route: Setting Goals with Self-Awareness

Now, let’s talk about goals. Everyone loves setting them, especially around New Year’s Eve after a couple of drinks. But setting goals without self-awareness is like planning a road trip to California when you’re starting in Hawaii. Good luck with that! You need to know where you are to map out a realistic and achievable path to where you want to be.

Self-awareness helps you set goals that are aligned with your true desires and capabilities. It prevents you from pursuing things that might look shiny and attractive on social media but don’t actually fit who you are or what you truly want. It’s your internal compass, keeping you on track and pointing you in the right direction.

Avoiding Roadblocks: Self-Awareness and Emotional Intelligence

One of the biggest perks of self-awareness is emotional intelligence. Understanding your own emotions helps you manage them better and respond to situations more effectively. It’s like having an advanced warning system for emotional roadblocks and detours.

Picture this: You’re on a road trip, and you come up on a road closed sign or major traffic jam. Without a GPS, you’re either lost or massively frustrated. With a GPS, you can easily find a shorter, faster or at least alternate route. Similarly, self-awareness helps you navigate life’s detours with less drama and far more grace. You recognize when you’re about to hit a mental or emotional roadblock and can adjust your course accordingly.

Fueling Up: Self-Awareness and Motivation

Just as a car needs fuel, you need motivation to reach your destinations in life. Self-awareness helps you understand what truly motivates you. Are you driven by recognition, personal growth, helping others, or maybe just the sheer joy of creating? Knowing your fuel type ensures you don’t end up stranded on the side of the road, exhausted and disheartened because you were running on the wrong kind of motivation.

Imagine trying to fuel a diesel engine with regular gasoline. It’s not going to end well, just like trying to motivate yourself with someone else’s goals or values. Self-awareness keeps your tank full with the right kind of fuel…I mean motivation.

Navigating Interpersonal Relationships: The Social GPS

Self-awareness isn’t just about navigating your own life; it’s also crucial for understanding and relating to others. It’s the social GPS that prevents you from turning every social interaction into a car crash. When you’re aware of your own emotions and triggers, you’re less likely to project them onto others or react irrationally.

Have you ever had a friend who consistently ruins fun outings with their mood swings or passive-aggressive comments? Don’t be that person. Self-awareness helps you recognize when you’re veering into emotional danger zones so you can correct your course before you end up alienating everyone in the car.

Embracing the Journey: The Sweet-Spot of Self-Awareness

Ultimately, self-awareness helps you enjoy the journey as much as the destination. It allows you to be present, appreciate the scenery, and take in the experiences along the way. Life isn’t just about getting to the next milestone; it’s about savoring the ride, potholes and all.

So, the next time you think about setting off on the road trip of life, make sure your self-awareness GPS is fully charged. Know your starting point, set realistic goals, manage your emotions, fuel up with the right motivations, and navigate your relationships wisely. After all, the journey is a lot smoother—and a lot more fun—when you know where you are and where you’re going. Buckle up, stay aware, and enjoy the ride!

Burnout. It’s Real

May 30, 2024 / / 1 Comment

I’ve been working with a lot of pastors and churches lately and what I’m seeing is truly heartbreaking. So I’m going to get real for a moment. Pastors, those guys you think only work one day a week, are burning out faster than a cheap candle. Yes, the guys who stand before you every week with a smile plastered on their faces, delivering hope and wisdom, are crumbling under the weight of their roles. And it’s beyond time we talked about it.

The Grim Stats: A Wake-Up Call

The numbers don’t lie, and they’re pretty damning. According to a recent Barna Group study, a staggering 42% of pastors have seriously considered quitting full-time ministry in the past year. That’s down from just over 60% two years ago. Let that sink in—nearly half of the shepherds are thinking about abandoning their flocks! Even more alarming, a 2021 Lifeway Research report reveals that 70% of pastors feel grossly underpaid, and 55% admit to being regularly overwhelmed by their pastoral duties. When the shepherds are overworked and under-appreciated, what hope is there for the sheep!

The Causes: It’s Not Just the Devil’s Work

So, what’s driving these spiritual leaders to the brink? Let’s break it down.

First off, the workload is insane. Pastors are not just public speakers delivering sermons on Sunday mornings. They’re counselors, administrators, event planners, and often janitors and minor repairmen. The and other duties as assigned bit is legit! The average pastor works 55-70 hours a week…consistently. That’s not a job; that’s a marathon that has no finish line.

Then there’s the emotional toll. Pastors are expected to be available 24/7, providing comfort and guidance to the members of the church and community, often at the expense of their own mental health. A study by Duke University found that clergy are at a higher risk for depression and anxiety than the general population. Imagine constantly being on call, dealing with other people’s crises, and then being expected to deliver an inspiring and uplifting message every Sunday. It’s no wonder they’re burning out!

The Church Culture: Adding Fuel to the Fire

Unfortunately, the church itself is often part of the problem. Many congregations have unrealistic expectations of their pastors, expecting them to be perfect paragons of virtue who can do it all without breaking a sweat. This “superhero syndrome” is a recipe for disaster. When pastors inevitably fall short of these impossible standards, they face criticism, judgment and even abandonment by those who were once friends, further exacerbating their stress and burnout.

Moreover, the financial strain is real. With 70% of pastors feeling underpaid, it’s clear that the church isn’t exactly rolling out the red carpet. Many pastors struggle to make ends meet, juggling multiple jobs just to pay the bills. When you’re worrying about putting food on the table, it’s hard to focus on tending to your flock.

Ever see a pastor’s library? Yeah those books aren’t free. Most of the ones on my shelf are $45-$60 each. If your pastor does any work with biblical languages, then he likely has some software program to help. The middle of the road software package costs $1000. And then there are the updates that often aren’t free. What about his accessibility? Ever call or text your pastor on his cell? That often is a personal expense they carry but is plastered on the church website or left as an emergency contact on the church voicemail.

The Fallout: Not Just a Personal Problem

Pastoral burnout doesn’t just affect the pastors themselves; it has a ripple effect throughout the entire church community. When a pastor burns out and leaves, it can lead to a decline in church attendance, a decrease in community engagement, and a general sense of instability within the congregation. The spiritual and emotional well-being of the entire church suffers when its leader is struggling. And this says nothing of the toll it takes on the pastor’s family, but we don’t have time to go into that one here.

Solutions: It’s Time for a Revolution

So, what’s the solution? It’s time for the church to wake up and smell the coffee, which your pastor likely made so it was fresh when you got there in the morning. Here are a few ideas:

  1. Sabbaticals: Offer pastors regular, extended breaks. Just like in academia, a sabbatical can provide much-needed rest and renewal. After all, even God took a day off. A sabbatical isn’t merely a day off, but it’s a day off with a purpose. Perhaps we’ll tackle the idea of sabbaticals in a future post.
  2. Mental Health Support: Invest in counseling and mental health resources specifically for pastors. Normalize seeking help and provide access to professional support.
  3. Fair Compensation: Pay pastors a living wage. They’re doing one of the toughest jobs out there, and they deserve to be compensated accordingly. Most pastors have a professional degree, and in my tribe that takes 8 years of schooling. Wearing the hats of a counselor, public speaker, peace maker, event planner, website administrator and marketing guru. Functioning as a CEO, doing odd jobs like janitorial or maintenance work. Add those up and what it would cost to hire all those jobs out.
  4. Shared Leadership: Encourage a model of shared leadership where the responsibilities are spread out among a team. This can alleviate the pressure on any one individual and create a more sustainable approach to ministry.
  5. Realistic Expectations: Congregations need to chill out with the superhero expectations. Pastors are human beings, not divine beings. Let’s start treating them with the grace and understanding that they preach about.

The Bottom Line

Pastoral burnout is a serious issue that requires immediate attention. The statistics are clear: if we don’t take action, we risk losing a significant number of our spiritual leaders. It’s time to stop paying lip service to the importance of pastors and start taking real steps to support them. The health of our churches, and the well-being of our communities, depends on it.

So, the next time you see your pastor, maybe skip the critique on the sermon length and instead, offer a heartfelt thank you. It might just be the lifeline they need.

For OUR Eyes Only

May 29, 2024 / / 0 Comments

Ah, church life! A blend of potlucks, prayers, and in some cases those mysteriously sticky pews. While the essence of a church is to foster a sense of community and spiritual growth, sometimes things can get a bit… insider focused. Here’s a quick look at five signs your church might be more focused on its own little world than on the world Jesus called you to love.

1. The Bulletin Reads Like a Soap Opera Recap

Ever picked up a church bulletin and felt like you were catching up on the latest episode of The Bold and the Bible-y? When half the bulletin is dedicated to Grandma Ethel’s bunion surgery and Brother Bob’s new pet gerbil, it’s a red flag. Sure, internal news is important, but if there’s more gossip than gospel, your church might be missing the bigger picture. Let’s save the detailed medical histories and pet updates for after the service, shall we?

Grab some friends and party it up over a game of euchre or hang out on the patio later in the week to catch up on Nancy’s News or Uncle Ed’s Updates. Take the top 3 things going on in the life of the church and highlight how they are helping the community.

2. The Evangelism Committee is a Mythical Creature as extinct as the Loch Ness Monster

Remember when your church had an evangelism or outreach committee? Neither do we. If the idea of community service is as outdated as dial-up internet, it’s time for a reality check. And you’re welcome to all of you who dealt with dial-up, now you’ll have that sound in your head the rest of the day!

A church that only serves its own members is like a restaurant that only feeds its staff. The outside world is hungry for compassion and support, not just your famous Jell-O salad.

Churches have pivoted away from evangelism for the ever sexy discipleship phase. But when your view of discipleship is boiled down to knowing the Bible and devoid of anything that remotely resembles sharing your faith, well you’re missing the point! Discipleship was about bringing others along with you on the journey of faith.

3. Your Church Events Have a Strict Members-Only Policy

“Sorry, you must be this devout to ride.” If your church events feel more exclusive than a VIP nightclub, there’s a problem. From secret potlucks to Bible study sessions that require a secret handshake, exclusivity breeds stagnation. Churches should be open to newcomers, not operating like a secret society. Jesus didn’t say, “Go forth and form cliques.” He said, “Go forth and make disciples of all nations.”

I totally understand the idea behind and importance of membership in the local church. But is membership the point? I think I missed the Bible verse that had Jesus stand up in a white pulpit dressed in his priestly garb telling people to sign the constitution so they can get involved. I don’t think there’s a verse in the Bible that says Only Lutherans (insert your denomination here) can enter. It just doesn’t work that way. Help them belong before you make them believe.

4. Sermons Focus on Petty Grievances

If your pastor spends more time addressing the proper way to stack chairs in the fellowship hall than on, say, loving your neighbor, you’ve got an issue. When sermons sound more like managerial meetings, with topics like “who’s been leaving their coffee cups in the sanctuary” or “the great thermostat debate of 2024,” it’s a clear sign the focus has shifted. Let’s get back to discussing the transformative power of faith, not the power struggle over who controls the keys to the building.

But it’s not just grandstanding about petty building issues. When churches start to focus on political stances more than Promises in Scripture then we’ve fallen off the wagon. I have very strong opinions about a lot of different things! But when it comes time to preach on Sunday, who I’m voting for and my stance on non Biblical matters have no place.

5. The “Outreach” Budget is Pennies Compared to the “Coffee” Budget

Does your church’s budget reveal its true priorities? If the funds allocated for outreach are laughably small compared to what’s spent on ensuring a constant supply of flavored coffee, it’s a sign. Sure, everyone loves a good cup of joe, but caffeine should never trump compassion. Consider swapping a few lattes for a little love, and watch how your community outside the church walls begins to flourish.

There’s an old saying that goes something like show me your checkbook and calendar and I’ll show you what’s most important. If the church’s budget and event schedule don’t have space dedicated for loving those not yet there, then you’re likely moving to an inward focused church.

Breaking the Bubble

If these signs hit a little too close to home, don’t freak out! Recognizing the problem is the first step towards change. Shift the focus outward. Start small: sponsor a community event, volunteer at a local shelter, or simply invite a neighbor to your next church picnic (no secret handshake required).

Remember, a church is more than its four walls. It’s a beacon of hope, a place of refuge, and a launchpad for love and service that extends far beyond its doors. So, step out of the bubble, shake off the insider language, and remember that faith is not just about looking inward, but reaching outward. And who knows? You might even find that the world outside your cozy pews is filled with people Jesus loves.

It (I) Will Never Be Enough

May 17, 2024 / / 0 Comments

Tasks completed. Goals reached. Hurdles jumped. Achievements made. Boxes checked. All are signs that you’re moving in the right direction. Under normal circumstances these would be markers of success or advancement, but sometimes they don’t mean a hill of beans. And the sooner you realize it, the less it hurts.

Ok before we dig too deep here, yes I’m ok. No I’m not going off the deep end. Some of this is personal. Some is anecdotal. Some is simply the harsh realities of living in the world.

The long and short of this post is that to some people no matter what you do it will never be enough.

I’ve worked a variety of roles in my 48 years of life. From line cook to bartender, from manufacturer to car sales, from church planter to pastor of a staff, from coach to counselor there are tons of roles that I’ve filled in my life. I’ve had more jobs than many.

I’ve been working since I was able to get hired somewhere, and rarely did I ever have just one job at a time even while pulling a full course load in college. Sixty to 80 hour weeks have been a part of my life for decades.

I started bagging groceries at a local store. To be honest the job didn’t suck but it certainly wasn’t my favorite. So I quickly figured out what needed to be done to move up, and I did it. The same was the case in every other place I have ever worked. I look at the tasks, evaluate the job description, see what needs to be done to advance and I do it. I’m a task guy. I get things done. And I am driven by recognition and, if I’m being honest, the recognition of title and salary are probably ones that speak the louder to me than they should. Hence Lead Dairy Stock Crew was far more appealing than Bagger!

But there are times and environments when even the goals achieved, benchmarks met, hurdles jumped, and all the things checked off in sequence don’t yield the results you thought they would. For some people no matter what you do, it will never be enough.

And when that happens you kind of have two options. You can let it bring you down, cause you to spiral, throw up your hands and just say screw it all. That’s the bury your head in the sand kind of approach, and for some people that’s just what needs to happen for a season. But you can’t stay here long or you’ll end up in a depression filled stupor that will impact your performance and relationships.

The other option however is to realize that just because you’ll never be enough for this person, or that group, their opinion isn’t the only one out there. There are times when you just need to buckle down, do the work, and look past how others don’t see the value in what you bring to the table. Sure you can drop it all and go find greener pastures. That certainly is an option, but chances are you’ll be disappointed later too. Because not too far down the road you’ll find someone else who tells you by their actions that you’ll never be enough.

It’s unfortunate but your value will be determined by the person, or people, who mean the most to you. If that’s your employer, then you’ll probably bounce from job to job pretty quickly. If it’s your family, then you’ll be hurt when the kids don’t listen. If it’s your church, well it’s full of people carrying just as much baggage as you so be careful. But there could be a better place to find your value.

There’s only one place where your value isn’t dependent on your performance. And if you want to know where that place is, just ask. I’ll gladly show you where your value is, because I’ve had to go there often when I realize that for some people I’ll just never be enough no matter what they say.

Nine to Five

May 16, 2024 / / 3 Comments

I remember the movie from when I was growing up. I’ve probably only seen it once but the premise or maybe just the title is something that I think about off and on. Actually as I write this, I just finished a quick conversation with my wife about the whole 9-5 idea.

Some days I’m jealous of the times I had a regular job. A job that I could arrive at one bell and leave at the other. A job where I swiped my badge and logged my hours and left. A job where the job stayed in the building. A job that didn’t wake me up at night. A job that didn’t make my stomach turn because of how people act. A job where the harder I worked and the more I accomplished the clearer the lines for advancement. A job where hard work counted for something.

Some days I wonder what it would be like to be in a job where people didn’t criticize me for getting a new car. Where people didn’t think I was paid too much all because my family can travel to Disney (even though my wife is a travel advisor and that’s part of her job, not to mention the offsets she’s received as part of her stellar work). I wonder what it’s like to be able to buy a new pair of shoes or sport coat and not have people think I am squandering my wealth.

If I’m being honest some days I kind of wish my life fit that category. But then there are other days.

The days when I get to hold your baby as I sprinkle some water on his forehead and remind him that he’s been marked by Christ the crucified. Or I get to sit by the recliner of your grandma as she struggles for her final breath. I get to hold your head as you throw up because of the horrendous life change that was just forced upon you and you don’t know what to do next. Or I get to watch as you trust me to teach your child about how important faith is to them as they grow and mature.

The past 12 months have been some of the most challenging of my ministry and many people probably have no clue. From losing people for whom I cared deeply to people I thought were friends stop acting like friends to a few other situations that are more private than public. Let’s just say the struggle has been real.

I know some of you are going to read this and get all wigged out. But please don’t do that. Don’t read anything into what’s here. By now you should know that I’m kind of shoot straight kind of guy. Rarely do you have to read between the lines with what I’m saying. So just in case you’re having a hard time here you go.

Over the past couple of years I have definitely thought about what the future looks like. I’ve wondered if it wasn’t time to move back to a 9-5 kind of situation. I’ve contemplated if I’ve outlasted my usefulness in ministry. And just so you know I’m not alone in this, there are some startling stats about how many pastors have struggled with this over the past few years, like over 60% of us have considered leaving the ministry!

But when things start to go off the rails and my head and heart begin to hemorrhage these feelings of doubt, someone shoots me a text or calls me to offer a word of encouragement. Maybe I get to baptize a child. Or I hear why your son or daughter wants to be confirmed. I get to hold the hand of your dying loved one. I get to reassure you of the power of the resurrection even over your darkest grief. The doubt subsides and the reality peaks back through.

Now here’s where I need you to listen. I’m not saying that my occupation is better or worse than anyone else’s. I don’t write this to try to glorify myself over you or falsely lower myself in a backwards pride moment. I put this here because someday I’m going to need to come back and read it. Some day, when the dust settles I’ll be able to look here and be reminded of just how blessed I am to be surrounded by so many wonderful people.

As I close this post out I’m reminded of a quote that’s been rattling around in my nearly empty noggin. In preparation for a recent message I was reminded that the thing you value most will determine your value. There are times when I let my value be driven by the way others respond, or don’t respond to me.

Let’s make sure today isn’t one of those days.

Integrity

May 16, 2024 / / 0 Comments

In a world where filters reign supreme and authenticity sometimes feels like a rare Pokémon, let’s take a moment to appreciate the underrated hero of the character trait world: integrity. It’s like the Jedi of honesty. Yes, I’m talking about that seemingly old-fashioned concept of doing what you say and saying what you mean. Integrity isn’t just for boy scouts and tea parties; integrity is the must-have accessory for navigating the rollercoaster ride of life.

Now, let’s get one thing straight: integrity isn’t about being a goody two-shoes or playing by the rules 24/7. N0, it’s about being true to yourself in a world that’s constantly trying to mold you into something you’re not. It’s about being undivided and wholly minded. It’s like blowing society off and saying, “Nah, I’m gonna do me.” But to be you, you have to know who you are.

In a world where fakeness runs rampant, integrity is like a breath of fresh air. It’s the antidote for all the bologna in the world, the secret sauce that separates the real deal from the wannabes.

Think about it: when you’re true to yourself, you attract the good stuff—real connections, genuine friendships, and maybe even a free coffee from your local barista who just thinks honesty is cool! But when you’re living a lie, well, let’s just say you’re more likely to end up in a world of hurt.

Now, I’m not saying integrity is always easy. Nope, sometimes it’s like trying to juggle flaming torches while riding a unicycle! But here’s the thing: when you’re walking your talk, you’re unstoppable. It’s like strapping on a pair of boots and stomping through life with confidence.

And let’s talk about trust, shall we? If trust is like currency in the bank of life, then what about integrity? Well, it’s your golden ticket to unlimited withdrawals. When people know they can count on you to shoot straight, you become the go-to guru, the rockstar of reliability.

But hey, I get it—sometimes the truth hurts. Maybe you’ve got a secret stash of embarrassing childhood photos hidden in your closet, or perhaps you overstated your abilities. Maybe you totally blew off some commitments and now are rushing through life doing them half cracked and you’re afraid someone will notice. But here’s the kicker: owning your truth is liberating as heck. It’s like ripping off a Band-Aid and shouting, “Yeah, I’m flawed, but that’s who I am!”

So, here’s the deal, friends: embrace your inner rebel, wear your integrity like a badge of honor, and remember that being real is something that will never go out of style! Life’s too short for fake smiles and filtered realities. So, go ahead, show the world what you’re made of—warts, quirks, and all. After all, being authentic just might be your best side yet.

The Entrepreneurial Challenge

May 14, 2024 / / 1 Comment

By definition and entrepreneur is someone who starts things. And starters are essential to keeping a society growing! Whether it’s a new business, church, school, or just about any other new thing you can imagine without the starter types we’d be stuck in a rut!

But there’s a problem that happens in these start up scenarios that often causes them to fail. And if we’re honest with ourselves, it in a way is the starter’s fault. Many starters can’t make the transition to the roles needed to keep an organization or business sustaining .

You see it takes a special breed of individual to start something. But often the kind of person who starts something isn’t the same skills needed to keep it going.

Another term for this is the founder’s trap. The person who founded the organization keeps functioning like the starter when the organization is well beyond the founding stages.

You see when a new business or even nonprofit is started, the founder plays a lot of roles. Pretty much the founder does everything!

I remember when I started a church. I was the janitor, set up guy, tear down guy. I changed the lightbulbs and made sure the bathrooms were fully stocked. I vacuumed the carpets. I sometimes even pulled the trailer. I did the powerpoint set up and picked the songs we’d sing. I had my hand in just about every part of the church.

Now this is not to say no one was there to help but as the founder or starter I was kind of expected to be in all the things of the church. And that can’t last forever. The longer I let myself stay in the founder or starter seat, the harder it was to get out of that chair. The more things I did, the more things were expected of me. The starter needs to figure out a way to transition from the everything chair to the leadership chair and quickly give some authority away.

Entrepreneurs are wonderful people! I have some of those entrepreneurial tendencies to this day. I love to get a new thing going. But what I’ve learned, with some age and experience, is to give things away sooner rather than later.

Now here’s a little piece of experiential wisdom. The person you give it to likely won’t do it exactly the same way you do! And you have to be ok with that. If there’s a system, then they have to stay within the system. But if you give them the task of making it their own, you have to be willing to give it up!

I get asked questions a lot about things I have no control over anymore. I have given things to other people trusting that they will do the job to the standards we have set up. Sometimes they do. Sometimes they don’t. When they do it is applauded and I know very little about it. When things don’t stay within the framework of our structure or move toward the targets we have set up, then things go off the rails quickly and I have to get involved in areas I don’t want to touch anymore!

If you’re a starter kind of person, then find people you can trust and hand things over to them. Hand over tasks to people who can only handle tasks. But to those people who’ve proven themselves responsible, give away the authority that is need to get the job done. The more authority you can give away, the more work gets done and the more effective and efficient the organization becomes.

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