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Tag: leadership (Page 11 of 15)

Just Zip It

May 4, 2022 / / 0 Comments

I’ve been wrestling for a while this idea and after some time to let the idea simmer a bit, I decided it just has to be said. It’s simple really. The fact of the matter is that sometimes you don’t need to voice an opinion.

I’m not sure if you realized it or not but there are some pretty charged issues in our world right now. The political landscape is more polarized now than any time I can remember. People have opinions about everything right now! And worse yet, we all feel that our opinion has to be heard because it’s obviously the right one – or so we think.

I’m sitting back watching how many people I know handle some of the news hitting the air waves and I have to say that I’m disappointed and even appalled. We are so quick to offer our thoughts without really thinking through their implications. Yes I know, this is a post that will be shared on social media, so it kind of feels like I’m breaking my own rule here. But there’s no one sided opinion here. I’m just asking you to slow down. Before you hit send, post, or tweet, take a minute to just consider a few things.

Does this need to be said?

Most of the time the things that we offer don’t really need to be said. They are personal feelings that are more intended to harm someone else than build others up. You have the right to your opinion as much as the next person, but be careful that you don’t make it sound like yours is the only opinion that matters. Some things just don’t need to be said.

Is this meant to build up or tear down?

Far too much of what is going around right now in our world is not intended to do anyone any good at all. This is very unfortunate, but it’s true. There’s a saying from the movie Bambi where the little rabbit repeats what he heard from his mom. If you can’t say nothing nice, then don’t say nothing at all. I think we could all learn a lot from this little rabbit. If it’s meant to tear down, break someone apart, or do someone harm then just keep your mouth shut.

Hard truths spoken gently.

There will come a time when you have to speak a hard truth, but you better make sure you’re doing it right. Speak the truth in a way and at a time when it will do the most good. If the matter is private, then keep the conversation quiet. If the matter is public, then still keep the conversation between you and that person quiet. You don’t need to air your, or someone else’s dirty laundry in public. It just isn’t worth it. But when you speak the truth to someone, know that it will very possibly end in a broken friendship. No one likes to be shown errors no matter how much they need to be addressed. Just make sure that you’re having the conversation for the right reason.

Provide an alternative.

There will come a time when you need to take a stand. When that happens make sure you provide an alternative. Every hard decision and hard truth spoken will leave some carnage. And some people will be upset and angry, so one way to deflate and deescalate that problem is to make sure you account for the innocent parties left in the wake. Be kind. Look out for those that no one else is looking out for in the moment. And with more than just words provide for those in the weakest of circumstances.

There are more ways to handle the difficult kinds of situations, but these are just a few of the ways that I’ve found work best when wrestling with the should I say something question. And if you have to think twice about whether or not to post something on a social media platform, then you probably should just not do it. That little voice in your head that’s telling you to not do that is probably a good one to listen to in this moment.

Hope this serves you well and can help in how/when you communicate challenging things to people around you.

On A Mission

April 20, 2022 / / 0 Comments

Have you ever seen someone walk with authority? Or listen to someone talk with authority? It’s so cool to hear or see someone who owns their position in life. It’s like they are on a mission to accomplish something.

Most of my life is lived this way if I’m being honest. I generally walk and talk with conviction. I move a little faster than most, and I talk a little louder than many. Even if I’m unsure of something, I find it’s much better to boldly stand for what you’re doing than be all apologetic before you even speak. Then if I say or do something that’s not right, I’ll apologize but I’d much rather do that after I mess up than before I even have a chance to screw things up.

There’s a saying I grew up hearing that said if you’re going to sin, sin boldly. Now this statement in and of itself isn’t really all that helpful because it kind of sounds like we’re advocating doing the wrong things. The point isn’t to go out and do as much illegal activity as possible. It’s not even assuming that since you’re not perfect and going to mess up sooner or later that you may as well just excuse your bad behavior today. The saying is actually about confidence and conviction.

If you’re going to do something boldly it means you’re not going to just tip toe into it. It’s like the child at the swimming pool. Just jump in! I admire that about children actually. I love how they just jump in the pool. They don’t dangle their feet over the edge to get acclimated to the temperature of the water. No they jump in. Generally in a big splashy kind of way. Cannon balls. Bell flops. Just big old splash inducing jumps into the water.

But as we get older, we lose the courage to do this. We lose the adventure and wonder of jumping into the pool. But not just with jumping in the pool. We lose the courage in a lot of areas. We become toe dippers instead of belly floppers.

Sure there’s a time and a place for calculated risks and knowing your limits and all that. I totally understand being situationally cautious. But no every situation has to be fully mapped out before we begin to move. Not every situation needs a known ending before we take the first step.

I’d like to encourage you to take a step. Just one forward moving step. It might feel like you’re jumping into the deep end of the pool, but it’s one step. Move forward one little step and throw a little caution to the wind. Be confident in who you are and what you’re called to do. It’s not about being reckless. It’s about being confident and courageous and living like someone on a mission.

It’s Not Your Time

April 6, 2022 / / 0 Comments

Life can seem so unfair can’t it? I mean your best friend has a boyfriend when you can’t seem to even land a date. Your neighbor drives a new car every year and you can’t even afford to put gas in yours. Your coworker gets the promotion you’ve been working so hard to achieve. It just seems like everyone else gets what you’re after and it’s just not fair. 

When we compare ourselves to everyone else, no anyone else, life just seems unfair. But sometimes it’s hard not to compare. People love to post their instagram lives for the world to see. And no one posts the bad stuff. I mean does she always dress like that? Are his muscles always that defined or is the lighting just right in that pic? Comparison is a terrible enemy that can lead us to a place of brokenness and despair. 

I want to introduce a different way of seeing things. It’s not easy and it’s something that I am working on myself. Instead of asking why can’t I have this thing or be like that person, ask what if it’s just not my time? What if my time is yet to come? 

The idea behind it’s not your time is that even though someone else gets the blessing or the good day that you have been praying for and working toward and expecting for years, your time is coming. Maybe it’s a job that you have applied for but didn’t get. Maybe it’s a significant other that you have been trying everything you can to find. And everyone around you seems to be married and you can’t even land a steady date. Maybe it’s having a little bit of extra cash to go out on the weekend with your friends and you can barely scrape two nickels together. Whatever it is maybe it’s not your time.

I know that doesn’t take away the sting of not having it. I know it doesn’t make today any easier but when you realize that it’s not about your timing or your plans, it does make moving forward a little easier. 

And lest anyone think I haven’t had my “it’s not your time” moments, please come talk to me sometime. I will gladly share with you the plethora of moments that things didn’t go the way I had planned and I wondered the same thing you’re asking right now. 

So does life seem unfair? Yeah it sure does! I know that some days are going to be far worse than others. But when we shift our focus to a realization that my time is still coming approach, things tend to look different. Here’s an exercise I do to keep me focused when life seems a tad unfair. Take a deep breath and look at your own life. Really look at it. Not looking at what you don’t have but what you do have. Make a list, even if only mentally, of the things you have in your life today that you didn’t 1, 3, or 5 years ago. They are examples of the it’s not my time principle in action. Three years ago it wasn’t your time to have those things but here you are enjoying them. 

Again, I’m fully aware it’s not going to make a husband magically appear to your non-dating doorstep or a million dollars appear in your empty bank account, but it will shift your mind from absence to abundance. It’s not your time, but imagine how great it will be when your time finally arrives! That will be a day to celebrate for sure! 

I Walk Too Fast

March 17, 2022 / / 0 Comments
Fast

Ok so it’s no secret – I move quickly. I like to drive fast, walk fast, run fast, move fast in general. I even have a tendency to talk fast, and for that matter type fast which explains all of the uncaught grammar errors – sorry about that. I don’t like to sit around and do nothing. I am always busy. I’ve even been given a nickname by some members of the church I serve. I’ve been named Speedy PD (PD for Pastor D). But there comes a time when we all need to slow down. I think I’m realizing that I just walk too fast.

We used to go on family vacations to Disney when our children were younger. We’d hit the parks and see all there was to see. As a matter of fact, my children would tell me to get ready for my vacation walking. It was a type of walking that was faster than normal and allowed me to weave in and out of crowds so we could get where we wanted with limited delays. But if I’m being honest, I think I walk too fast.

For many reasons, I just need to slow down. Personally speaking, walking too fast can leave you alone. There were times when I’d be walking so fast that I’d leave my family in my dust. They wouldn’t be able to keep up with me. It gives a really bad impression to your family when you’re walking so fast that they can’t even keep up with you. I was just walking too fast.

But more than just walks with family on vacation, I tended to walk fast in my spiritual life as well. And to be honest, the faster I walked the less room I would leave for God. Now I know that sounds a tad like an over exaggeration here but in reality it’s more true than we all realize. We sometimes need to slow down to let God catch up. I find myself sometimes leading God. Not that I can somehow move faster than God, but I’m sometimes a few steps ahead of where God has planned for me to be. So I need to walk a little slower.

I’m not sure what walking slower means for you but I would suggest starting with literally walking slower. Moving your feet at a slower pace. Taking smaller strides. Stopping for a minute to breathe the fresh air or take in the scenery. Slow down the pace in the mundane parts of life so you’re more comfortable slowing down in the critical parts of it.

But when it comes to your spiritual walk, literally moving slower isn’t exactly much of a help. We can, however, apply the same concept to our faith lives. We can read slower when we’re going through our daily readings. We can find a still, quiet place to have a moment alone with God. We can turn down the lights and just sit in silence. I know that sounds awkward and nearly impossible, but sitting in a quiet and semi-dark room is very calming.

Another idea that is definitely not original to me is something called a sabbath. The sabbath is the idea of stopping for a day or a set length of time and just going dark. Rest for that time. It’s not a vacation. It’s not a party time. It’s a time to rest and well…slow down! The purpose of the sabbath idea is that we are able to work from our rest and rest from our work.

I think we can all admit that in 2020 we were forced to slow down a bit. We couldn’t go to our gyms, schools, churches and even to work. We had to slow down and even stop for a bit. The point of sabbath is that we pause to evaluate where God is in our lives. Stopping or even slowing down in life is more critical than we might realize. If we don’t slow down, then God will make you slow down.

Let me say that again slowly. If you don’t slow down, God will slow you down. He might do it by letting you come down with something to cause you to pause for a minute. He might do it by making your car break down or giving you a snow day at school. He might even let a global pandemic shut the whole world down for a few months! For me, he let me speed cause headaches and anxiety that pretty much wrecked my body. You don’t have to like it, but if you don’t slow down God will slow you down. And someone else slowing you down will not be fun!

So learn from my mistakes and slow down. Pause long enough to evaluate where you are in relation to God’s plan for your life. It’s ok if you walk a little slower. Take it from me, you’re missing things by moving so fast. Maybe you’re walking too fast like me.

You’ll Know It When You Find It

February 16, 2022 / / 0 Comments

This phrase is one of the most obscure sayings we have in our language. You’ll know it when you find it. Really? What if I don’t know what I’m really even looking for? How will I know it when I find it then? How big is it? Can you at least give me some kind of idea where I can find it? And for crying out loud, what is it anyway?

When we’re looking for our forever home or our next car or even the job of our dreams, it’s likely that we’ll know it when we find it. It’s likely that in those cases, there could be just one thing that’s the right thing for us in that moment. But that’s not exactly what I’m talking about here.

As a follower of Jesus, I sometimes get caught up in the trap of wondering what the will of God is for my life. I don’t know about you but that’s a challenge for me at times. Some call it discernment. Others call it seeking good or wise counsel. Others call it wisdom. And often we’re told that we’ll know it when we find it. That sure sounds like there is only one thing that is right and the rest are not exactly God’s will for us.

The more I read the Bible and look back at my life, the more I start to realize that God’s will for my life isn’t the one thing kind of moments. It’s the everything kind of moments. This whole you know it when you find it mentality isn’t really even Biblical. It assumes that there is only one thing we can do to bring glory and honor to God. It assumes that we can make the wrong choice, a choice God wasn’t expecting and that he isn’t able to work through. That’s not a God I want to follow by any means!

But over and over in the Bible we read that God is with us. He’ll never leave us. We even read in a few places that whatever we do we should be doing it for the Lord and his glory. That means the what we’re looking for isn’t a what at all. It’s a why!

It’s not what job you have or what house you live in or even what you do on your day off that brings glory to God. It’s the attitude and heart you have when you’re doing it. It’s the why that God’s after. We get so caught up in the what’s of life that we all too easily forget the why’s.

We can attend worship because we our parents make us attend worship and that’s not really a God glorifying experience. But we can walk in the park or go to a ball game or give it everything at work so that God can be glorified and to do good for those around us and that is God glorifying. You see the point isn’t did I make the right decision or is this the right job for me. The point is how can this action, job, decision, friend group, or television show bring honor and glory to God? If we can’t see God getting honor and glory through the things we’re doing, then we better stop doing them! And in a hurry!

You may never know it when you find it because you may never find it at all. But you can still know that it, whatever it is, can bring glory to God if it’s done for that purpose and doesn’t go against the truth of His word. So run after life. Grab hold of the promises that He has given you. Rest in the truth of God’s word and presence. And when you, you’ll find it.

Are You A Ship In Harbor?

February 11, 2022 / / 0 Comments

I was reading an article recently and there was a quote from John Shedd that really stood out to me. The quote stood out because I think in life we can all relate in some way or another to doing exactly what this quote says. The quote said A ship in harbor is safe but that’s not why ships are built.

Some times in life we find the comforts of the harbor to be so compelling that we just don’t want to leave. I mean think about it. While in the harbor there is a whole crew right there at our disposal to tend to our needs. The deck can be washed with ease. The crew remains well rested. Little wear and tear occurs to the ship. It’s actually a very safe place. Rarely will the ship sink while in harbor. Passengers don’t get seasick while the ship remains anchored at the shore. But is that why a ship exists?

The short answer is a resounding no. We all know that a ship wasn’t designed to stay in the harbor. Your goods would never get delivered if the ship never left port. Your cruise would be pretty boring if you never left the harbor. New lands would have never been discovered if the ship would have remained safely anchored on shore.

I think in life, many people tend to gravitate to the places where there is little chance of being tossed and tormented by the raging seas. We all know that life is rough and in certain seasons life is more challenging than others! But staying in the harbor all the time robs the ship of the chance to see uncharted waters and experience unknown new lands.

As a pastor, this is one of the things I see so often that it scares me. As I talk to pastors and leaders of churches, I’m seeing an increasingly growing number of churches that are like ships anchored in harbor. We’re living a life we were never made to live. We’re safe. We’re protected. But there is a world of open sea out there that we were meant to navigate that remains uncharted.

I’m reminded of something Jesus said in Luke 19. I came to seek and save the lost. When a ship remains safely in the harbor, we certainly are not doing much seeking. We like to seek those who’ve already found us. And I hate to break it to you friends but that’s not seeking! That’s being found. The old build it and they will come business just isn’t effective. It’s not what the church was created to look like! The church was created to be a ship in the open waters. At one point Jesus even told his disciples to push out into deeper water. That means away from the shore and out of the harbor. When we remain in the harbor we find only a set grouping of people. Only those people who are living in close proximity to the harbor. But not everyone lives in the harbor. Jesus knew that. And if we’re being honest, we know it too!

A ship will never experience the purpose for which it was created if it remains anchored in the harbor. We’ll never know the feeling of the rising swells of water. We’ll never feel the ocean breezes on our face. The church was established to sail the open seas. Look at the design of some of the oldest churches out there. From an aerial view many of these churches even look like boats. Jesus told us to let down our nets and he would make us fishers of men. All of the imagery in the Bible is about the church, when it functions properly, being a boat in open waters.

Take a moment and honestly look at your situation. If you’re stuck in the harbor, then find someone to help you see life from a different perspective. Find someone who can help you get out of the harbor and into the exciting waters of life that are right in front of you.

5 Natural Trends We Need To Navigate

February 10, 2022 / / 0 Comments

Life has a way of acting kind of like the ocean. Some times the tide is high and crashing in while other times the tide is so far out we can easily manage life on the shore without even getting wet. And honestly like the tides there are some predictable patterns or trends we can see coming before they actually come crashing into the shore. But unlike the patterns of high and low tides, the patterns of life can be shortened or lengthened by how we react and prepare.

There are several things about life that we all know. Life can be a struggle. It can be fun. It can feel like things are spiraling out of control. We can feel like we’re in our sweetspot when things are going well. It can be monotonous and drone on and on. And things can start to crash all in seemingly a very small span of time. So what do we do? How do we manage all this change and shifting of tides in life?

There are two basic operating principles we need to take to heart before we can navigate these trends. The first thing we need to do is acknowledge that these shifts are coming sooner or later. We can’t stop all of the change from happening around us, no matter how hard we try. The second is that we all start in a point of struggle. It’s pretty much that simple. Everything from birth to starting a business to planting a new church to starting a new job, it all starts from a point of struggle. The rest of the trends or stages will flow out of that original struggle. It’s how we react to the struggle that determines how long we’re in struggle mode.

Party Time!

Generally speaking, when we navigate out of our time of struggle, we’ll settle into a new routine and we’ll see some pretty good things happen fairly quickly. In an organization of just about any kind, this is when pretty fast growth happens. People are happy and things are generally fun in this stage.

Think of a child in the younger years when they really don’t have a much of a care in the world. Life is pretty easy for them. We feed them. Clean up after them. Rock them. They just eat, sleep and make messes that they don’t have to do anything about! It’s like party time all the time.

Storm Season

When we progress through our season of parties and fun and all the excitement of the new beginnings, we undoubtedly will have to learn to navigate through a season of storms and devastation. This season of life unfortunately doesn’t happen just once. It’s repeated off and on. This season comes when the honeymoon phase of a new thing has ended. We settle into our routines. We start to question those around us and sometimes it causes us to question ourselves. The storms can be awful. And for many of us, we quit in the middle of one of these storms, but it doesn’t have to be that way.

This phase is like those teenage years when we argue with our parents incessantly. Our parents are morons. We are awkward. Our friends are butts. Our siblings are annoying. Life is just terrible, at least in our minds anyway.

The Groove

After the season of storm we will hit the pinnacle season of life where things just seem to go well. It’s like we settle into the groove and life goes unexpectedly well. This is the phase of life that everyone wants to be in but rarely do we stay here for long periods of time. We all too often don’t recognize this phase for what it is, so we fall backward into the stormy season or slide forward into the monotonous moments to come.

This is that season of life that typically brings us through graduation and into our first job. We’re making real money and enjoying the challenges and opportunities that life provides. This season can last for a long time if it’s nurtured properly, but most of the time we overlook the blessings that this season brings.

Monotonous Moments

If we don’t challenge the status quo while in the groove, we will easily and quite quickly slip forward into a season of monotony and boredom. It’s like driving through the plains states when you’re tired. Everything looks the same and you quickly fail to see the beauty of the moments around you. The time of monotony happens when the routine becomes the rule and there’s nothing exciting in front of us.

This phase of life is kind of like what happens when we realize the dream job we fell into after graduation doesn’t have all we thought it did. It’s what happens when fail to challenge ourselves or the systems around us. Life gets boring. We fall asleep at the wheel of life. And quitting is becoming more and more appealing.

The Crash

Unfortunately, if we don’t address the challenges of monotony we’ll end up in a head on collision with this final season. It’s when we crash and burn. We can’t see any light around us. We can’t see a way out. We isolate ourselves from those who care for us. We quit the thing with which we’ve grown bored. Instead of constantly looking for new opportunities, we look for a clear and easy way out. We give up on progress, happiness and success. We simply throw in the towel. Left unchecked this season can lead to some very serious personal issues with depression.

There are probably more seasons of life than just these few but in my experience these are some key markers to look out for in life. The point in sharing this is to make us aware of what’s going on. I find that when I know what to look out for I’m less likely to fall into it. Like a pothole on the road that I will swirve to miss, these seasons are some that I can be better prepared to maneuver through and around.

Are You Beating Yourself?

February 4, 2022 / / 0 Comments

I think there are times in life when we actually do ourselves more harm than good. I mean we have great intentions but when we really look at it we haven’t done much good at all. As a matter of fact, the good we thought we were doing was actually undone by the negative things caused by our actions. Ok that’s ambiguous so let’s dive in a little more.

The thoughts that follow are my observations from my own life and ministry. These are my failures. They are things I’ve had to work through on a variety of levels. And they are things that I still monitor closely to make sure I don’t fall back into some of these same bad habits and destructive ideas again.

You are not God.

Now that goes without saying but the issue is that we don’t live like this. Ok so admittedly we don’t necessarily go through life thinking we’re God, but we often make decisions and plans acting as if we are the most important person in the world. We pursue things that are all about personal happiness and individual success. We seek attention and put ourselves on a pedestal as if we’re the most important person in the room or universe. Believe me, I know a few of those too.

Friend it’s not about you. If you’re a leader of a team, parent, spouse or even friend to someone – you are not the point. A good friend, teammate, employer, parent or spouse will make decisions and go in directions that put the other person first. If we want to set ourselves and those around us up for the greatest success, start putting their needs before your own and watch how not only do their needs get met but yours will also!

The more you work, the less you get done.

This one sounds a bit like an oxymoron but it’s also very true. It’s kind of like that line they say on airplanes about the oxygen masks. If you’re traveling with small children, please secure the oxygen mask to yourself before placing it on your child. For the longest time I found this to be wildly insensitive and a horribly wrong practice! I mean who in the world is going to watch their child suffocate while they get the good air?! So I asked one of those friendly Southwest flight attendants why in the world this was the rule. They were patient with my stupidity and didn’t make me feel like too much of an idiot in their answer. She simply told me that if I couldn’t breathe, how could I make sure my child was breathing? Wow. Then it all started to click. Side note: I wasn’t even traveling with children which made my question that much more strange.

Back to over working. So the whole put the mask on the child thing is like taking a needed rest in order to be more productive. It doesn’t make sense until you ask a few questions. Then step back and realize that like a parent with no oxygen can’t help their child, so also a person who’s overworked and exhausted can’t focus on the job at hand and will likely not be productive nor effective. Getting the rest you need and stepping away from the task at hand for a minute is often the most powerful way to get more done.

Give yourself traveling time.

I have a tendency to stack appointments in my calendar pretty tight. I know how long it takes me to get from one place to another under normal conditions. And when I have to be somewhere I generally like to arrive on time, which for me is about 5-7 minutes early. But there are those times when we stack so many things so tightly in our calendar that we just can’t get it all done. We have no time to get from point A to point B.

This is also true with general calendaring without travel. The premise is that we tend to stack our appointments or tasks so tightly that there’s no breathing room at all. We move from task to task without giving our brains a chance to change gears. We run from one project to a totally unrelated project and wonder why our mind feels like mush at the end of the day.

There’s nothing wrong with stepping away for even as little as 3 minutes to use the bathroom, walk down the hallway, listen to music, close your eyes or just stare off into space. These are simple techniques that can clear your mind and let your brain get the space it needs to restart in a different gear.


Diversify your diet.

Now this one might be a tad misleading, so let me explain. I am not talking about your food diet, although that’s very important as well. I’m referring to the diet of information that you feed yourself. If you continually feed your brain with the same content over and over without any variation, you’re going to be mentally malnourished to say the least. It’s like eating crackers all the time with no protein or vegetables. You just won’t perform at your peak.

The same is true for what we put into our minds. I tend to read or listen to a variety of books. Some of these are books related to my field as a pastor. Others are leadership books. Others are on finance or parenting or how to understand what’s going on in my preteen daughter’s mind (ok so there’s really nothing that will help with that one but it’s worth a shot). The point is to try to look at the world around you through the many lenses at your disposal. Consuming content from a variety of sources helps you see not only your thought process more clearly, but also helps you appreciate where others are coming from and have more intelligent conversations about topics on which you disagree.

These are just a few of the many things I’ve had to learn the hard way in life. I hope they are somewhat helpful to you and provide you with a shortcut of sorts to not stay stagnant.

Self Care Is NOT Selfish

February 3, 2022 / / 0 Comments
77 Self-Care Quotes to Remind You to Take Care of Yourself

So it’s no secret the season of life we’re in currently isn’t the easiest thing we’ve dealt with as leaders. If you’re in charge of any group of people or in a management role or guiding people to a preferred future then you’re a leader. Parents are leaders. Business people are leaders. Often in every friend group there’s a leader. We are all leaders in some area of our lives. The question isn’t if we’re leaders but whom are we leading? You don’t have to like the idea of leadership but it doesn’t change the fact that you’re a leader. So how can leaders take care of themselves to be better at the task in front of them?

When leadership gets challenging there are a few things that we need to do to make sure we’re leading appropriately and most effectively. We’ll call it self care. And no matter what you think of when you hear the term self-care, it’s not about being selfish at all. Self care is all about making sure you’re best qualified and prepared to handle whatever problems arise.

Always on is quickly off.

Leadership isn’t a task we can do in an hour. It’s something that weighs on us constantly. We climb into bed and just want to fall asleep peacefully, but the nagging issues of leadership start picking off the sheep we’re trying to count. We live in a culture where technology is making us so easily accessible that we quite literally can’t ever step away. We can be called day or night. Even a trip to a sunny beach somewhere isn’t safe, because email still works there too!

Being always on and always within reach will quickly lead to burn out, fatigue and poor decision making. The weight and burdens of leadership are constantly on our shoulders. You need to find someone in whom you can confide to help you carry those burdens. Keep a journal of sorts to write down the things causing anxiety. Make lists in written or electronic form that you can come back to so you’re not obsessing over little tasks needing completed.

Get some real rest.

I know that many people don’t get the sleep they need to function properly, and I’m one of those people. I’ve made the excuse that I can run on less sleep than many and for the most part that is true. But we all need sleep and we need to listen to our bodies, stress levels, and family members who can see things in us that we can’t see in ourselves.

I’m not going to preach at you to get 8 hours of sleep since I don’t do that myself. But find regular rhythms of rest in your life. Learn the habits of stopping to just breathe throughout your day. There are days when I just sit at my desk and close my eyes to empty my mind for 3 minutes. It makes a world of difference!

But more than just getting a good night of sleep or pausing for a quick power up, we also need regular down time. Some call them days off. Others call them a sabbatical. Others call it vacation. Whatever it is you need to find a way to step away from the pressures of leading and recharge. Take a day every week and if possible at least a week every year to learn how to refocus. Real rest leads to real results. Really!

Keep your priorities straight.

When we have a lot of responsibility at work, it’s easy to let that kind of bleed into every other area of our lives. It’s all too easy to bring our work home or worse yet live like we’re married to our job. There is a pretty clear line of priority that we need to follow. And if we get this ordering out of whack it will yield some pretty nasty results.

Here’s the short version: faith first, family second, self health third, job last. If you’re living in a pattern of life that has your priorities in any other ordering then you’re setting yourself up for some signifiant harm. Getting this wrong will destroy your marriage, abandon your family, effect your health, and break the trust you’ve established in your relationships/friendships. I cannot stress this one enough. Your work does not own you so don’t live like it does.

Diet and exercise aren’t just for weight loss.

The final thing we need to look at when it comes to self care for those in any leadership role is the area of physical health. Leading is stressful whether you’re leading your kids, your family, your business, your friends, or any other place you find yourself. Leadership is stressful at times and having a healthy outlet for that stress is critical. This means we need to manage our food intake properly. And we need to manage our energy output appropriately.

Having a regular food check and exercise regimen is pretty important. Stress often leads to eating poorly and all sorts of other bodily issues like muscle tension and blood pressure issues to name just two. When we keep our eating right and we take time to do some form of exercise, even if it’s just a walk around the block or at the mall, we’ll see noticeable changes in how we handle stress. And our overall health will be positively impacted.

Getting help is not weak.

Finally we need to realize that we’re not superheroes. We cannot do it all. And leaders need help. Do you have someone you can confide in? Do you have a therapist or a counselor or someone with whom you can speak about personal matters that weigh on your heart? Just know there is nothing wrong with getting help. There’s nothing weak about admitting you can’t do something. There’s no shame in getting some form of therapy or counseling to help you balance what’s going on in your mind and heart.

So there you have it. Not an exhaustive list by any means but a few things leaders can do to manage the challenges of life and take a little time for self care, because self care is not selfish it’s actually selfless if done right.

The Spiderman Leader

December 28, 2021 / / 0 Comments

The new Spiderman movie was released recently and it has taken the box office by storm! While I haven’t seen the movie yet, I have heard some pretty stellar reviews to say the least. The Spiderman saga has been a pretty good series of movies from my perspective and I’m excited to be able to see this one soon. But as I consider the movies I have seen, one thought stands out at me from these movies. It has to be my favorite quote from the series.

With great power comes great responsibility.

Spiderman

Leadership is a pretty challenging thing, especially in our world today. Being a leader of any organization is not fun when you can’t see where you’re headed and don’t know what to expect. The graphic above contains a quote from Peter Scazzero who wrote a series of works title Emotionally Healthy_____. The blank is for the different topics he’s written on over the years from spirituality to discipleship and much more.

A person who’s in leadership, whether they want to be or not, has a great responsibility and weight on their shoulders. As leaders, we’re responsible for casting a vision for a preferred future and making corrective action as problems arise. Good leaders will even anticipate challenges before they arise. The closer to the top of an organization you rise, the more power you have. And the more power you have, according to Peter Parker, the more responsibility you must shoulder.

Something that’s become fairly evident through the past 24 months of life challenges is that many leaders are wanting the power but lacking the maturity. They have the obligations but lack the desire and intestinal-fortitude to get the job done. There are a lot of immature leaders in the world and in the church these days.

The above quote from Scazzero is a reminder that each of us have inner demons with which we have to wrestle. We have to work through our challenges and find creative and effective ways to manage the troubles in life. If it’s true that higher levels of leadership, power and responsibility bring out deeper levels of inner struggle, then we as leaders need to surround ourselves with some key people.

I strongly recommend something that was shared with me years ago. It’s called a personal board of directors. No, it’s not nearly as formal as it sounds, but it is very important. I have people in my circle whose opinion I value in different areas of life. They are friends or voices who I respect and who are able to challenge me because they are professionals in their respective fields. I used to call on these people all the time. And admittedly, I don’t use them nearly as much as I used to, until life explodes.

As a leader, it’s important to know your weaknesses and fill your life with people who are strong in those areas. You don’t need a board of directors for your personal life, but you do need the self awareness to know when you can’t do something. I’ve seen far too many leaders do far too much damage to their organization by permanently taking on a task that isn’t theirs to do. This is called micromanaging. I did it for a while and it was awful! I suck at many things in life and the sooner you as a leader can realize what you just flat suck at doing, the better your organization will be.

So the long and short is that you have the power you have for a reason. Use it wisely. Wield that power with the responsibility that it warrants. And be honest with yourself and those around you when you just are in over your head. It eliminates a lot of stress and your organization will flourish when you get the right people in the right places in your organization.

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