living for eternity today

Tag: leadership (Page 10 of 16)

Prioritize

I recently read the book Extreme Ownership by Jocko Willink and Leif Babin. I know it may not be what everyone likes to read but there are many good principles in the book. One of them is about prioritization. But the authors go a little beyond merely setting appropriate priorities. The key to proper prioritization is activation. You have to do something with your priorities.

This is the problem that many people have with to do lists. We set our priorities but we often neglect to tackle the priorities, leaving us no better off than when we started. The secret to priorities is action.

Ok so this really isn’t anything secret. It’s common sense to say the least. But it’s so easy to go through the process of setting our priorities and then leaving things there. Willink and Babin are Navy Seals. They explain how setting and acting on priorities in military endeavors was key to success.

They would look at their objectives. List targets. Set goals. Then delegate the tasks as necessary to more quickly and efficiently reach their objectives.

This can sound like something that doesn’t apply to you and me in the civilian world, but if you really pause for just a few minutes you might see how this common sense approach isn’t really just for a well trained Navy Seal. Consider the last big project you had to tackle.

Maybe you are moving to a new house. Perhaps you’re remodeling a room in your house. Looking for a new career. Planning on a child to be welcomed to your house. There are tons of things we tackle on a semi regular basis that are kind of big deals!

Any of these things can be overwhelming to say the least! I recently took on a kitchen remodel project. We removed walls. Repainted the remaining walls. Refaced cabinets. New counters, floors and appliances. But we didn’t just jump in and start blowing out walls. We had to set the tasks in the proper order. Which needed to be done first? What needed to wait until later?

Now my wife will tell you that she never thought this project was actually going to be tackled. I talked about it for a long time. I’m a verbal processor by the way. For weeks, maybe even months, we discussed the details of the plan. Which walls needed to come down? Which walls couldn’t come down? What did we need to do to prepare for these walls to drop? What color will the paint be? What type of floors do we want? I talked through all of it. Added things to my cart at the store. Deleted them. Added new ones. Over and over the list was edited and evaluated.

Then one day I pulled the trigger. Bought the gift cards. Went to the store. Ordered the materials. Brought them home. And down she came. Prioritization is key! I needed to know what to do first. And what needed another project completed before I started.

But ultimately all of the planning and all of the talking wouldn’t have meant anything if the walls didn’t fall. It wasn’t until I took action that the kitchen remodel actually started.

What’s your remodeling project? What about the plan? Do you have a good grasp on what is first and what needs to wait? What’s stopping you from knocking down that wall?

Priorities without action have no affect at all.

Extreme Ownership

I’m kind of a sucker for a good book built around the leadership principles learned in the hard school of the US Military. This one is definitely a good book if you’re willing to apply some basic thoughts to the various aspects of your life and leadership journey. These ideas can be used in business, church, home, parenting, just about any area where you have to take ownership of yourself.

There are a ton of simple ideas that can be implemented. The authors Jocko Willink and Leif Babin use real stories of their time serving as US Navy Seals. They take the principles learned in hard fought times of conflict. Tell the story of that challenging time. Then show the straightforward principle they learned. But what makes this book so great is the way they then apply that same battle principle to the civilian sector with real stories of businesses that used these principles to enhance how they function.

I’m not going to give all of the ideas set forth in this book because then you won’t read it yourself. But here are a couple of things to consider.

Simplicity is key. The more simple we make the plan, the easier it will be for the people we lead to follow the plan. Have you ever had someone give you directions using far too many details that really are not pertinent to how you need to go to get to your destination? If so you have experienced the need for simplicity first hand. When we muddy the plan with all sorts of extra steps and details, we make it nearly impossible for those around us to get on board.

Discipline is freedom. That one sounds like an oxymoron but if you really think about it there’s some truth there. The more you disciplined you are about an area of your life, the more freedom you find in the rest of your day. If you have a pretty disciplined routine in life, you’ll find freedom the ability to be productive and get things done. The freedom that comes from discipline is found in the focus and hard work you put in. The more disciplined you are the higher chances of you finding breathing room and margin in life.

If you are in any leadership role at all, this is a book that will benefit you greatly if applied. I’ve been in many roles where the leaders around me would have done far more for the organization had they owned their leadership instead of ignored it. Don’t be that guy!

The One Thing

In a book written by Gary Keller titled The One Thing, we are challenged in our fast paced, multitasking world to simply focus. The author challenges the idea of diversifying ourselves into so many areas that we are largely ineffective.

There are really three basic thoughts in this book as I see them:

  1. Focusing on the ONE thing is the best way to get done what needs done.
  2. You’re more successful when you do one thing well.
  3. Success happens most effectively ONE building block at a time.

If you’re a multitasker or one who likes to jump from idea to idea constantly, then this book might be a good one for you. The author asserts that the time it takes to change gears actually slows down our ability to be productive in life. Focusing however on ONE thing until it is complete is a far better approach to work, success and productivity.

I was reminded of the Debt Snowball approach by Dave Ramsey when I considered the ONE thing approach to life. If you’re unfamiliar, the Debt Snowball basically is focusing on one debt at a time until it’s gone, then taking what you put toward that debt and add it to the next smallest debt. Like a snowball rolling down a hill your power over the debt becomes greater over time as you collect more leverage against it. The same is true with our time and focus with regard to productivity.

I’d recommend reading through this one. I did this one as an audiobook and feel it worked fine in that media style. So if you have a drive ahead of you, pop this one in your book reader and give it a listen. Then look at what is distracting you from getting the real tasks done. Focus on one at a time until it’s completed, then add that time to the new task and snowball your way through your day ONE thing at a time.

Influence vs Impact

As we start a new year it’s a good thing to take a few minutes to consider the people ahead and behind us in life. Those people who we look to for influence in our lives. But also those people who look to you for guidance. We call these groups people of influence and impact.

The influence group are those who really push you to be your best. They bring out the best in you. They drive you to do and be better in just about every way. These people, and even places, are influential for any number of reasons. Take some time, as you set those resolutions or goals for the year, to consider the influencers in your life.

Make sure to carve our time for these people. Spend time with them. Invest in these relationships. The people who push you to do and be better are the ones you need to be near on a regular basis. Find creative ways to sit at their feet to learn as much as you can. When you’re with those kind of people who draw out the best in you, make sure to sit and listen. Ask good questions to grow as much from these relationships as you possibly can.

But just as important is the group we’ll call your impact group. These are the people on whom you have an impact. While the influencers feed you, the impact group needs you to in a sense feed them.

Take time to think of the people in your circle who need the best from you. Who needs your A game for them to thrive?

When you’re setting goals and plans for the coming year make sure to leave time and space in your life for those people who feed off of your energy, passion and knowledge.

One of the best things we can do in life is to create a legacy around us. A legacy looks ahead and behind us. A healthy legacy gives thanks for the influencers that have brought us to where we are and to the impact group who look to us for leadership and direction in life. Both are critical for a healthy life of leadership.

As a pastor, I focus on something called discipleship. This is the idea of learning from and walking closer to the way of Jesus. We do this by using influencers and impacters. The way we learn and grow is by looking to those who’ve been there…done that. And it becomes scalable and repeatable when we bring others along for the ride. Discipleship has to be an ongoing movement or it simply dies after a generation or two.

Jesus took his lead from his Father. Then shared that with the men and women who we call disciples. What he learned from the Father, he passed on to his followers. We are to do the same thing. Learn from those who feed us knowledge and pass that along to those who will take the reigns after we’re off the scene.

So who are your influencers? And who are you here to impact? Lean into these relationships this year!

Designed To Lead

We start off the year with a book about leadership because, well most people think of ways they can better themselves in a variety of areas as they start a new year. This particular book is written to and for churches and their leaders, but some of the principles can be applied across disciplines.

The authors operate from the bias that churches are filled with broken people and therefore their leadership style and structure leave something to be desired. To give a more honest synopsis, they think the church is stuck and refuses to do better because it refuses to really try new things.

The idea of the status quo is constantly challenged throughout the book. However this is not just a thrust to challenge the status quo for the sake of being a pain. The push is pretty well thought out. There are no silver bullet approaches provided, merely a framework through which one should operate.

The three point framework suggested by the authors is conviction, culture and constructs.

Conviction is all about passion. The authors assert that leadership is lacking in many areas in the church because there is a lack of passion for leadership in the first place. Knowing the origin of the word leadership makes desiring leadership even that much less appealing. The base origin is a call to go forth and die. I know sounds like something everyone wants to do right? If we’re not convicted about leadership then we are most certainly not going to be willing to take some serious risks to move forward. Real leaders take calculated risks for the sake of the greater good.

Culture is really about the DNA of the organization. Is there a working DNA of leadership development and apprenticeship present in the church or organization? If not then generational changes will cause leadership to wane over time. Cultivating a culture of leadership development is not easy but for the overall health of the church it’s essential.

Constructs are the concrete actions put in place that allow the culture to thrive in light of the convictions for leadership development. The idea is pretty simple actually. It’s more than a program or new ministry area. It’s built around the culture. Do all areas of the church/organization demonstrate a heartfelt passion for leadership development? If not then a part of this puzzle is missing.

Some are not all that excited about leadership and church being in the same sentence, but if we’re about the idea of bringing people to a devoted relationship with Jesus how are they going to come if we don’t lead them?

A major challenge to leadership development in the church is the professionalization of church leadership positions. We have made all things important in the church fall on the shoulders of the pastor or other trained and educated person. This means that when we’re not good in an area, it’s easier to throw a few dollars at it and hire someone than it is to rally the troops and do it ourselves.

The main premise that weaves through the book is that we were designed to lead in specific ways. Some of us have front and center leadership roles. While others have quieter roles behind the scenes. Our position in leadership really doesn’t matter as much as the conviction, culture and constructs of our leadership setting.

Getting Things Closed Up

As we head to the end of another calendar year, it’s inevitable that some things in our lives must come to an end. Maybe it’s the New Year’s resolution we set for 2022 that you have one more week to fulfill. Maybe it’s a job you’ll be leaving. Maybe it’s a lot of things that you really don’t want to relive. However you slice it, 2022 is coming to an end in just under two weeks. And it’s time to start making plans to close this chapter. So what needs cleaned up in your life?

As I look back 2022 was a pretty good year. We bought a new house on over 12 acres. We got the puppy I’ve wanted for years. We added a pet bunny to the property. I’ve learned how to manage an in ground pool. Demolished a load wall and totally remodeled the kitchen. Welcomed many new faces to our worship family at the church I serve. Grown some great friendships. Been so blessed to have the Army son home several times this year while having the non-army son still living with us for a bit. Worked with some great people at the local church and the state version, aka the Ohio District. All in all it’s been a pretty good year. And none of this to talk about all the gains in my workouts and health through the year.

But as we close the door on this year there are some things that I won’t be taking with me. A few friendships that I thought were solid ended up being more toxic and one sided than healthy. Those will stay in 2022 and prior years. I’ll also be leaving my job with the Ohio District behind me. While this work was a passion of mine it just wasn’t a good fit. I don’t do well in micromanaged situations where there are high expectations but low authority. Just not a healthy recipe for success. So as this year ends, I walk away from the position for which I’m passionate in an effort to pursue other options that are more effective and efficient and that actually are getting positive work done.

A challenge when closing a year is to make sure you properly process the things you’re leaving behind and why you’re ditching them. For me it was simple, the things I’m leaving behind were draining me not filling me. Whether it’s the relationships that are toxic or the job that just doesn’t fit, you can’t stay in a situation that is killing you slowly. Ok so a little overdramatic I get it. But the longer you stay in a situation that is just bad, the lower you’ll be dragged down and the harder it will be to pull yourself out. So it’s ok to close a chapter.

Take some down time as you end this year and reflect on the good, bad and even the ugly. Be ok turning the page and ending a chapter. Be willing to stop one thing in an effort to start a new one. Be confident that leaving a bad situation where you’re being broken down is perfectly fine and actually a sign of maturity.

Happy final weeks of 2022 friends. It’s been a ride and I can’t wait to see what’s on the other side of the ball drop this year!

Moving The Sticks. What Really Matters?

It’s super easy to measure the measurable. I mean seriously. Take a head count and you’re good to go right? Well, not so fast. There is likely a lot of information that you’re missing if you simply count butts in seats. Let me propose a better way.

Ok before we dive into this let me set the stage a little. Admittedly, this is written from the perspective of a pastor of a church. But I’ve lived in the real world as well so some of the principles here are transferrable to other trades. Actually, I believe most of this information is transferrable.

One of the easiest things to do to measure the growth of an organization is to ask for some statistical data. The simplest form of data is raw numbers about how many people show up to events, gatherings, come through the door, etc. This is what we’ll call attendance numbers. This is the primary lot of information that most church bodies like to gather for their churches. And as easy as it is to gather, the information is totally invalid. Actually, it’s often times misleading to be quite frank. Raw attendance shows one side of an equation that does not tell you about overall health. That’s where we’ll spend the rest of the time in this article – growth verses health. You can be big but weak and that’s no good!

There needs to be a metric that measures movement or progress from one area to the next. Something that drives to a deeper level of engagement or ownership in the life of the organization. Mere attendance shows a level of knowledge about the organization and that’s helpful to an extent but there’s no ownership involved at all.

A better way to measure the overall health and vibrancy of an organization is to move from singular attendance data to a cyclical view of engagement. In the church I serve, we use four key concepts that show levels of engagement ranging from observation to participation to involvement to ownership. The key is to get someone to move through this cycle to exhibit ownership of what they believe in. The same is true for other areas of life, not just church life.

Take my time in car sales as an example. Someone knows the dealership exists and they even drive through the lot on a day when the place is closed. That doesn’t do you any good. They move to participation in what you offer, meaning they end up buying the car. That’s great and it helps your bottom line, but if they never return you’re missing out. When they become involved in what the dealership offers they’ll bring their car back for service. That’s when they are actually buying into the culture of the organization and not just getting a product from you. Finally, the ultimate is when they become repeat and referrals to your dealership. That’s when they own it as their preferred place of business.

This metric of moving people through a cycle of deeper engagement in the life of the organization is critical to long term viability and sustainability of the organization. If you’d like to see how this can apply to your particular are of work, I’d be glad to assist. Specifically if you’re a church or church planter, applying this to your context is the world in which I live currently! The end goal is to move us to a place of thriving instead of merely surviving in life, business and ministry.

Finger Pointing

Do you remember that childish thing we did? You know when someone did something wrong, how we’d all make sounds of shock while pointing our finger at the wrong doer? We’d make sure the proper person in authority would know that she did it or he’s the guilty one. How annoying was that! I’m sure glad we stopped doing that. Or did we?

As annoying as that is and as almost embarrassing at it is to think about now, I’m starting to see a resurgence of this very way of handling problems. We might not point fingers and bemoan the situation with groans and other unintelligent sounds. But we do tend to throw some blame around.

There’s a tendency in our lives to publicly shame someone or belittle them when we don’t like how they’ve handled a situation. And honestly it makes us no better than those annoying turds we were growing up. It’s immature and quite frankly is counterproductive.

Have we become so focused on what others are doing wrong that we’ve forgotten what we’re called to do?

Let’s get this straight. This doesn’t mean we don’t call wrong – wrong! Actually just the opposite. It means that we call it wrong in the moment. NOT in friend groups or behind someone’s back. We don’t belittle someone who didn’t act or react how we would have liked. And for crying out loud, settling a dispute on social media just doesn’t work. So don’t even try that one.

There’s wisdom in the idea of getting our own house in order instead of tearing someone else’s house down. We’ve become a culture rich on tearing people down. Or at best just deleting them from our lives altogether. From blocking phone numbers to unfriending someone on social media, we can all but erase someone from existence with the click of a button. And it’s just like that childish game of tattle tale. Pointing our fingers at someone and trying to show the world how awful he is or how terrible of a person she is.

How about we try something new? Mind your own business. I mean seriously. How about instead of trying to undermine someone else and make their lives a living hell, we take a minute to focus on how we need a little grace shown to us? Let’s try to see what areas of life we’re not living 100% perfectly. Sure have your one on one conversations. Tell someone the honest truth, even if it hurts. Even if it means running the risk of losing something or someone special. But don’t get your panties in a bunch playing the finger pointing game.

The presence of social media and text messaging has raised a great crop of keyboard warriors who can sit with you face to face and seemingly have nothing bad to say. Then the moment they find their security behind a keyboard they can blast you to kingdom come. Or spread weird rumors about you that couldn’t be any less true.

If we were to realize who we are as individuals and what we’re called to do, then perhaps the shortcomings of others wouldn’t really be as bothersome. Maybe if we were as dedicated to our role in society as we are to someone else’s downfall in it, we could look beyond a slip of the tongue or meet a wrong doing with grace. The very same grace we ourselves expect when we mess up.

So in short perhaps we should get our own stuff together before we try dragging someone else’s name through the mud.

Time For A Little Adventure

I think everyone likes a little adventure in their life. Some of us like a little a more vigorous type of adventure while others like a more tamed down and subdued version of adventure. Ask any guy to recount some of their most vivid memories in life and they’ll likely tell you something about a trip or an adventure. Some of our greatest memories are of adventures we’ve taken.

Now adventure isn’t all high risk and death defying stunts. It’s not necessarily like getting trapped in a board game like Jumanji, or racing at high rates of speed around the Porsche driving school test track. Yeah I was able to do that in a previous life, as they say. But the point isn’t how fast I drove, even though I could tell you all about the feelings of racing around the track. I could tell you how it felt to hit each curve and how close it felt we were to each other on the straight aways. The point is there was a sense of adventure that was born into my spirit as I was racing around the hot pavement!

Adventure is born into the souls of all people to be certain, but men have a need for adventure. In his book, Wild At Heart, John Eldredge talks about three things every man needs. We need a battle to fight, an adventure to conquer, and a beauty to pursue (or rescue). We hit on the battle fighting part of the equation here.

The adventure is part of our need to live out story. So much of life has become so tame that it loses its sense of fun. It’s almost boring some days when there’s no adventure. What things do you remember most? What was the adventure? What was the cause of the excitement?

I can remember the time someone broke into my parents’ home when I was there with a few of my siblings. I can tell you the details of the whole experience! I can tell you what it was like driving the youth around on scavenger hunts for our annual Christmas party at church. I can tell you about repelling off a tower and riding horses around Mad River. I don’t have the greatest memory necessarily. The only reason I remember these is because they were adventures to me.

You want to kill the spirit of a man? Make him sit behind a desk all his life and give him no adventure! Chain him to a 9-5 with no hobbies and he’ll wither away to a puddle of preteen boyhood.

Men it’s time to capture the adventure in life again. It’s ok to take some risks, but be wise about it. Look at the countless places in the Bible where God calls men to follow him. He will generally take them on an adventure. Through the wilderness. Up a mountain. Across a sea. On a boat ride in a storm. Why did he do it this way? Because he knows the soul of a man, what makes a man’s heart beat.

Our culture is beating the adventure out of men. We’re trying to tame the wild heart of a man. And it shows! Our culture is suffering because of it. Our world needs wild men to stand up and do the fighting adventurous pursuing and protecting thing that makes us who we are! Instead we’re cultivating a generation of boys who run from problems, are afraid to step out in fear of offending someone, and frankly can’t stand up for and protect the women and children in their lives because they’re too weak to handle a challenge.

Now some of you are going to get all upset that I’m coming down on men. And you know what, that’s ok. I have a plaque in my office that reads I would like to apologize to anyone I have not yet offended. Please be patient, I will get to you shortly. While this is not intended to intentionally piss anyone off, I know that some will not like it. I’m pretty sure the people of Jesus’ day didn’t like it when he called them nicely painted caskets – all pretty on the outside but dead as a doornail on the inside. That wasn’t polite and it sure did piss them off! They ended up killing Jesus for it.

But, like Jesus here, I’m not trying to be offensive. There is a masculinity issue in our culture and we’re all a bit to blame. Men are blamed for being too hard, abrupt, manly. We tell our boys to focus, calm down, quit with the jitters, don’t get all excited when things go wrong. Why? Isn’t that part of our natural response? Don’t you think there might be something beneficial in that kind of response?

Every man needs an adventure! And no! Video games are not the same thing! We need a purpose and some form of excitement in life. When we don’t have an adventure to live out, we fall into bad habits and do things that just aren’t right.

So men find that adventure. Set out on the adventure of a lifetime. It’s called manhood and brother – it’s a thrilling ride!

Boys and Guns

I still remember the day we sent my sons to stay with my in-laws over night. I wasn’t nervous about them going or worried I was going to miss them too much. I mean my in-laws did a pretty good job raising their three daughters. They would be just fine. But that’s what got me. Three daughters. My boys are not daughters. They are boys. And they were just at the age where they were really intrigued with playing with toys.

Whether it was racing toy cars around or building with blocks, they loved to make things work. It was just who they were. But they were going to a home that had only seen girls. All girls meant all girl toys. Now don’t get your panties in a bunch or anything. I wasn’t afraid if they played with a doll or something they’d somehow change identities. I just was a little concerned that they didn’t have anything to play with is all. But was I ever surprise…

Boys have something that is born into their DNA. As author John Eldredge explains in his book Wild At Heart, males have three things they need. They need a battle to fight, an adventure to conquer and a beauty to pursue. No one has to teach a male child any of these things. They just kind of happen.

Battle to Fight

Ever wonder who came up with the ideas of hockey, football, even golf? They were dudes. They were men who needed to fight something, even if it was a tiny white ball in the middle of the grass. Getting out there and smacking a ball into oblivion somehow spoke to the battle sense of a man. You don’t have to teach a male child how to fight for what’s right. And you really shouldn’t try to teach them out of that fight instinct either!

The idea of having a battle to fight and having men willing to jump into that role has kept us in a safe place in the greatest country the world has ever seen. Men needing a battle to fight is what took one of my sons into service in the US Army. Needing a battle to fight is what saved that weekend at grandmas too.

You see when we picked them up, I was amazed at what I saw. Both of my boys were playing with Barbie dolls. But not exactly how one normally plays with dolls! They had them contorted in some way to make them look like guns. They, without any provocation or enticement from anyone, took the dolls and folded their arms as a handle. Then made the noises of guns. We didn’t have guns in the house at the time. We didn’t watch war movies or really much of anything but Veggie Tales in front of them. So where did they get it? A need for a battle to fight. It was born into them.

Adventure to Conquer

Eldredge says that men need more than just a good fight. They also need to find adventure in life. We’ll pick these apart a tad more in the next couple of weeks, but the gist is that men like to find new territory. Climb to new heights. Make things into an adventure. Just look at how boys play. They build forts. Have wars to fight. Even the video games that most guys grab are all about adventure and battle.

Beauty to Pursue

Ladies this one is for you. Men have an innate desire to fight for, protect and provide for the woman in their lives. Now as a guy, I can admit we don’t always do it correctly. But the idea is there. We want to provide for the family. We will do anything to protect our wife. We wouldn’t trade that for the world, well most of the time. Again, we’ll hit on how this goes awry in a future post.

There are some key things that make men who and what they are. These three ideas are some of the basic elements of what it mens to be a man. Please don’t read this as all men are like this, because there are some outliers. Also don’t read that no women have these same desires or abilities. The purpose here is to see how a man’s mind is wired. It’s a fundamental part of how we were built.

And, as a follower of Jesus, I think this is very much part of how God designed us to live in his image. But we can hit that topic another time. For now cherish the “man’ness” of that guy in your life. Don’t try to stifle what appears to be a violent streak when he talks about war or gathers his arsenal for the zombi apocalypse. Don’t get worried when he looks for adventure around every turn. And remember that his goal is to pursue the beauty in his life. Sometimes that doesn’t look how you might want it to but if he’s logging extra hours and making sure there’s cash in the bank to have that great vacation you’re wanting…yep that’s likely part of this pursuit.

All in all, men don’t need to be taught how to be men as long as there’s a strong male influence in their lives. So dads don’t slack on this one. It’s time to log off the computer for a bit, come in from the shop, set aside some real time to be with your family. Whether you’re a dad of boys or girls, they need to see what a real man is like around the house.

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