living for eternity today

Tag: kindness

I Am Not Nice

Be nice. It’s what I was always told growing up. We need to be nice to one another. But I don’t know if nice is the best answer in every situation. Admittedly I’m less nice than some, but I will generally try to be kind. Kind and nice are not the same thing.

In a world often drenched in cynicism and snarky remarks, kindness can sometimes feel like a forgotten relic of a bygone era. I don’t think kindness is dead; it’s just undergone a bit of a makeover. Welcome to the era of being kind, but not always nice.

Now, you might be scratching your head, wondering, “What’s the difference?” Well, buckle up, because we’re about to embark on a wild ride through the realm of edgy kindness.

Let’s start with the basics. Kindness, at its core, is about compassion, empathy, and understanding. It’s about lending a helping hand, offering a shoulder to lean on, and spreading love in a world that desperately needs it. It’s about seeking the best for those around you. It’s about caring enough to keep people safe. But here’s where things get interesting: being kind doesn’t always mean being nice.

Being nice often entails things like gentle tone of voice and quiet, calm demeanor. The “nice” thing to do in a given scenario might be to bite your tongue and let the offense slide. But where’s the fun in that? Actually, where’s the good in that?

Enter edgy kindness. Instead of bottling up your frustration, why not speak up? Instead of brushing every little thing under the rug, how about you call a spade a spade. You don’t need to do it in a hostile or confrontational way. Just speak up and feel free to include a dash of wit and charm.

See, being kind doesn’t mean being a doormat. It means standing up for yourself and others, even if it ruffles a few feathers along the way. It’s about setting boundaries, calling out injustice, and refusing to settle for anything less than the respect we all deserve.

But edgy kindness isn’t just about witty comebacks and snarky remarks. It’s also about challenging the status quo and sparking meaningful conversations. Take, for example, those awkward family gatherings where Uncle Bob insists on spewing his outdated opinions like candy at a parade.

Instead of nodding along in silence, why not engage him in a thought-provoking debate? Approach the conversation with an open mind and a sprinkle of humor, and who knows? You might just plant a seed of change in Uncle Bob’s stubborn brain.

Of course, edgy kindness isn’t always easy. It requires courage, resilience, and a willingness to embrace discomfort. But trust me when I say, the rewards are worth it. Not only will you feel the unnecessary weight of internal conflict rise from your shoulders, but you also allow the situation to heal. Often speaking in kindness, with a little edge of not so niceness, is what’s needed to get through to the stubborn employee who doesn’t think they need to do their job. Sometimes this edgy kindness will help an erring friend see their way. Heck edgy kindness might even save someone’s future…you just never know.

So, the next time life throws you a curveball, don’t be afraid to unleash your inner edgy kindness. Speak your truth, stand up for what’s right, and above all, don’t forget to laugh along the way. After all, kindness is the ultimate rebel act in a world that could use a little more heart and a lot less sugarcoating. I know that’s not nice! But sometimes not being nice is the best way to show kindness.

When Tragedy Strikes

What do we do when tragedy strikes? What do we do when it hits close to home? What about when it impacts our very own family and friends? What about when our community is thrust into chaos because of the actions of someone unruly or evil?

Our tendency in these times is to find the biggest target we can find and throw blame at it. We want to find someone to hold accountable and it’s far easier to blame the biggest person, organization or group in the room. While this may be the easiest in the moment, it’s not generally the most effective method. And it will not bring the results we want.

Yesterday another senseless act of violence took the lives of innocent children and adults. It’s tragic to say the least. I hear of these things and want something to change. I want these to stop. I want children to be able to attend school without fear of something like this happening. I want teachers to be able to walk into schools with smiles on their faces and not a sense of apprehension in their minds about the safety of their room that day.

For some this will be an unpopular opinion, and for those of you who are offended by my thoughts, my intent is not to offend you. You have your thoughts and I have mine. You have the right to hit the little “x” or red dot and close this window and you’re welcome to do that.

Now for the unpopular opinion.

Blaming the wrong entity won’t help. Blaming the system, government, weapon of choice, school system, police force… none of that is going to make a bit of difference. Making more laws unfortunately won’t be of any real help either. How many bad guys read the law books to make sure it’s not going to break a law? Don’t believe me? Look at your own life for a minute.

There these little white rectangular signs on the side of the road. They are laws. Did you know that? Laws that state how fast are allowed to go in a given area. We call them speed limit signs. Now how many of you follow those suckers to the number? Do you push the limits at all? Maybe going 5 over? or 10? Drive the freeway and you’ll see it. Laws don’t stop people from doing what’s wrong. Or look at those red octagons. Ever roll through a stop? Yeah well that’s against the law too. Laws don’t make the problem go away. We just find another way.

I don’t want this to come across as insensitive at all. I am 100% against the violence. I am 100% against the evil actions around us. But I am also of the mindset that laws don’t stop stupid. They don’t stop mean. They don’t stop threats or violent acts. Rapists know it’s wrong but they still do it. Thieves know it’s wrong but they still steal. There are laws against all sorts of things but to prohibit something doesn’t stop someone from doing it.

So then what do we do?

The short answer is we need to change the way we think. Who’s to blame? The perpetrator. The villain. But more than that society is to blame. We all are to blame for the mess we’re in right now. When we can’t find a solid and consistent measure for right and wrong it should be no surprise when people will find their own measuring stick.

We live in a world that has taken right and wrong out of the equation because we don’t want to hurt or offend someone. We don’t want to “shove” our ideology down someone else’s throat so we don’t teach ethics anymore. There are not immovable standards in society. You have your truth and I have mine. That’s a sick and twisted society friends.

What do we do? We hold to some standard of truth. We hold to some form of right and wrong. For a couple of centuries this country had a pretty decent standard of how to function. From the Constitution to the Declaration of Independence to the other documents that were part of the founding of this nation, we had a real and easy to follow set of boundaries. For a time the nation used the essence of the Bible (not teaching the faith of the Bible but the boundaries it set) for a determination of right and wrong.

You may not agree with those documents. You may not like them. You may think they are old and potentially even a bit outdated. But they were foundational to who we are as a people.

How do we fix where we are? Be kind. It’s really that simple. Don’t be a jerk. Raise your kids to be kind. Not tolerant because tolerant doesn’t do anything. Kindness does. Go out of your way to do good to someone. If you’re the praying type spend some time in prayer. Dad’s be present with your families. Quit running away to pursue your own selfish lustful passions and be involved in your kids’ lives.

When tragedy strikes is the time we come together not throw crap at one another like a bunch of mindless monkeys. Stop slinging crap and start being kind and we might just see a change in our communities.

Image of God

This week I wanted to share this song with you. It’s a song about who we are and how we need to view one another. This song isn’t about which side of the aisle you sit, what color your skin is, what gender, nationality, or financial status. This song is really about everyone on this earth.

We’ve lost sight of something really important. We’re all made in the image of God. Whether you believe it or not, doesn’t really change the fact that we didn’t have life until God gave it to us. We often live this image well, but there are times when we falter and live out a broken image.

Today I ask you to pause and just look around. Look at how different we all are. But look at how similar we all are too. It’s easy to see the things that make us different. It’s easy to see the things that separate us and cause division. It takes work to focus on the things that unite us. We all need air to breathe and food to survive. We all walk by putting one foot in front of the other. We all need sleep to stay healthy and exercise to stay fit.

We don’t all eat the same things or sleep at the same times or workout the same way. But just because we do things differently doesn’t mean we’re any less made in the image of God. Take time today and look around you and value the image of God that is present in everyone around you – yep even those people who are way different than you!

Reckless Love

Our culture tells us that being reckless is a back thing. When you’re reckless, you generally are not cautious. You throw caution to the wind and just go out and things without thinking about the ramifications of your actions. You cross the street without looking. You spend without checking your account balance. You schedule a meeting without looking at your calendar. You drive whatever speed you choose without caring about the speed limit. These are reckless behaviors that could end with some not so good results! Continue reading

Bleed the Same

There is so much hatred and so much division in the news these days that this song made me pause for a moment. The title just speaks volumes. We all bleed the same. It doesn’t matter what you look like on the outside,  we all bleed the same when we are hurt. So the short message here is just be kind. Be kind because the person with whom you are interacting bleeds the same way you bleed. Continue reading

When Tragedy Strikes

Well it happened again. This time worse than the last. Another senseless act of violence. Another mass killing. Another group of innocent lives ripped from their friends and families in a timeframe we call too soon. The details are still rolling out. The motive, if there is one, is yet to be determined. There are so many questions that our heads are spinning! But as many questions as exist, there seems to be even more blame. So whose fault is it anyway? Continue reading

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