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Tag: integrity

Integrity

May 16, 2024 / / 0 Comments

In a world where filters reign supreme and authenticity sometimes feels like a rare Pokémon, let’s take a moment to appreciate the underrated hero of the character trait world: integrity. It’s like the Jedi of honesty. Yes, I’m talking about that seemingly old-fashioned concept of doing what you say and saying what you mean. Integrity isn’t just for boy scouts and tea parties; integrity is the must-have accessory for navigating the rollercoaster ride of life.

Now, let’s get one thing straight: integrity isn’t about being a goody two-shoes or playing by the rules 24/7. N0, it’s about being true to yourself in a world that’s constantly trying to mold you into something you’re not. It’s about being undivided and wholly minded. It’s like blowing society off and saying, “Nah, I’m gonna do me.” But to be you, you have to know who you are.

In a world where fakeness runs rampant, integrity is like a breath of fresh air. It’s the antidote for all the bologna in the world, the secret sauce that separates the real deal from the wannabes.

Think about it: when you’re true to yourself, you attract the good stuff—real connections, genuine friendships, and maybe even a free coffee from your local barista who just thinks honesty is cool! But when you’re living a lie, well, let’s just say you’re more likely to end up in a world of hurt.

Now, I’m not saying integrity is always easy. Nope, sometimes it’s like trying to juggle flaming torches while riding a unicycle! But here’s the thing: when you’re walking your talk, you’re unstoppable. It’s like strapping on a pair of boots and stomping through life with confidence.

And let’s talk about trust, shall we? If trust is like currency in the bank of life, then what about integrity? Well, it’s your golden ticket to unlimited withdrawals. When people know they can count on you to shoot straight, you become the go-to guru, the rockstar of reliability.

But hey, I get it—sometimes the truth hurts. Maybe you’ve got a secret stash of embarrassing childhood photos hidden in your closet, or perhaps you overstated your abilities. Maybe you totally blew off some commitments and now are rushing through life doing them half cracked and you’re afraid someone will notice. But here’s the kicker: owning your truth is liberating as heck. It’s like ripping off a Band-Aid and shouting, “Yeah, I’m flawed, but that’s who I am!”

So, here’s the deal, friends: embrace your inner rebel, wear your integrity like a badge of honor, and remember that being real is something that will never go out of style! Life’s too short for fake smiles and filtered realities. So, go ahead, show the world what you’re made of—warts, quirks, and all. After all, being authentic just might be your best side yet.

Character > Competency

October 4, 2023 / / 0 Comments

Imagine that you have a job that really needs done. I mean really needs done. You have a deadline that is rapidly approaching. And your back is against the wall to get this thing completed. These are the scenarios when we are more likely to make a really bad decision, so here’s your caution.

The greater the emergency we face the more likely we are to choose someone for what they can do, not for who they are. Let that sink in for a second. It’s super easy to choose someone for their competency and capacity and ignore their character and integrity.

Character trumps competency any day of the week!

There’s a saying in leadership that goes something along the lines of you can never out lead your character. Man is that true or what! Have you ever seen this? Someone has all the right stuff to get the job done, but they’re a real selfish jerk. You do know that won’t end well right?

I remember when I was a car salesman. We had a great team, for the most part. There was that one sales person however that was really good at what they did, but they had some spots on their character that were pretty questionable. Now questionable character isn’t about being a good vs bad person. It’s about being immoral and selfish vs a kind team player. No matter how many cars this person sold, no one wanted to be around them. And they had fewer repeat and referral customers because this person was obviously in it for themselves and thought waaaay too much of themselves!

Character trumps competency any day of the week.

So when it comes to hiring or staffing for the next job or bringing on volunteers to help with that thing your nonprofit is doing, take a few extra minutes to look beyond a person’s capacity. Ask a few character questions to make sure they don’t burn the organization to the ground while they’re getting the job done.

Here are some of the quick character questions I use.

  • How well do I really know this person?
  • What do their friends/family say about them?
  • What are they really good at doing?
  • What are they really bad at doing?
  • Ask the person when’s the last time they failed, and how they reacted. This is less about competency and achievement. The purpose here is to determine if they are willing to admit mistakes and how well they recover from those mistakes. These are character issues.
  • What one word do others use to describe this person?

There are a ton more questions you can ask. I’d love to hear what character questions you find helpful in this process. By the way, these questions are good questions to use on yourself as well. Your character matters too!

When To Fight

August 26, 2022 / / 0 Comments

Doing the wrong thing for the right reason is still wrong. I know that this is not necessarily a popular opinion but it’s the truth. You can’t just throw away the right thing and do wrong because it’s not working for you in the moment. You can’t just do what you want even when the situation dictates otherwise.

I’ve been involved in a number of situations where one has to play a challenging game of teeter totter. But it shouldn’t be that difficult. When we truly understand right and wrong. When we truly value the power of truth, none of this should be an issue. The challenging part happens when we throw truth out the window and make everything in our day to day subjective. I’m sorry but you don’t have the right to change truth.

Look I get it. We all want to be in control from time to time, but you can’t throw the God card. It doesn’t work like that. You don’t have to believe in God to still value truth. And I hate to break it to you, but you cannot change truth. No matter how much you want to or how much you don’t like it, truth is truth whether you agree with it or not.

Think of it this way. I know it’s fairly simplistic and you might not think it applies in every situation but honestly if you really think about it changing truth is like changing something as simple as 1+1. Just because I don’t like the number 2 or don’t want the equation to equal 2 doesn’t give me the right to change the outcome of that formula. I mean I can’t say 1+1=4 and be anywhere near right. No matter how much I try to weasel my way around making it sound like the right answer. It never will be right.

The same is the case for altering standards of truth to fit your desires in the moment. You just can’t do that. Right is right. Wrong is wrong. Calling one the other doesn’t change reality at all!

So do the right thing. Whether you want to or not. Right will always be right even if everyone around you doesn’t like to hear it. It sure seems holding to the truth is no longer fashionable. You might lose out on a few things by holding to what’s right. But I am pretty sure that what you get by clinging to truth will be far better than anything (or anyone) you lose who can’t handle hearing the truth called out to them.

So when is it time to fight? When you’re fighting for truth not how you feel. When you’re fighting for something that surpasses your personal desire in the moment. Fight for the truth and you’ll always come out on top in the end (not always in the middle but in the end you will).

Just Be Real

April 1, 2022 / / 0 Comments

One thing that I absolutely cannot stand is people being fake. It shows a massive lack of integrity and I quite frankly don’t have space in my life for fake people. So why in the world do people pretend to be one thing in one group and then act totally different in another? What would it take for you to just be real, all the time?

In my nearly 46 years of life, I’ve met a lot of people. Some of those people have made an indelible mark, but not all for good reasons. There are some people who come across your life and just make a special handprint on your heart. You can’t really describe it. Something they say. Something they do. There’s just something about them. But what happens when those kinds of people turn out to be, well…fake?

There has been a trend in the past couple of years in many levels of relationships that has been startling. People have abandoned who they were for some new version of who they are today. People have given into some version of change that has shifted their entire being and made them less real.

Now some will say maybe this is who I was the whole time. But that’s rubbish. Which brings me to my first point. The person you really are is the person you gravitate toward internally, not the person you feel you have to be in order to be welcomed into a crowd. All too often we let the crowd determine who we are. We change who we are based on the company we keep. If you have to change to be accepted, then frankly those people aren’t worth your time.

This is where our second point comes in. Be very careful the company you keep. If the company you keep is bringing a significant shift in character or lifestyle, then you might want to give second thought to those so called friends. A real friend is one who is there for you even when you don’t act like them. If you have to change who you are and what you find acceptable to be welcomed into a specific group of people, then it’s pretty likely they don’t care about you at all. They just want something from you. Or they welcome you because of what you add to the group dynamic. When you have served your purpose, they’ll quickly set you aside.

Another aspect of this whole just be real idea is that many people are just weak. If you’re feeling the need to do something you never before would have done or that is questionable relative to your morals, then you’re probably a pretty weak person. Look I know this is going to hit some people the wrong way, and that’s ok. Sometimes you need someone to tell you the truth, even when you don’t like the message. But seriously get some guts.

Something we have tried to instill in our children is the realization that you don’t need to be liked by everyone. There will be people in your life who won’t like what you do or say just because it’s different. That’s ok. Just be you. Be true to who you are. Don’t shift your character because you want to be included, or you’ll end up with a compromised character and no friends in the end. Don’t be one person in public and another in private or you’ll soon not even know who you are anymore. And for crying out loud man up a bit, or woman up works too. Be confident in who you are. You’re not a spineless piece of clay that everyone can mold.

The long and short is that people change over time and that’s to be expected. But when the person you are becoming is the polar opposite of who you once were, then you’re likely headed down a road that will lead to loneliness, destruction, and embarrassment. So how about you just be real and save everyone, including yourself, the trouble.

Tattooed Truth

March 24, 2022 / / 0 Comments

There are two things in life that are very hard to cover. You can’t erase them. And you can modify them but can’t totally change. Tattoos and the truth. I’ve been toying with the idea of starting a new part of this blog or maybe a podcast that’s a little more hard hitting on matters of truth.

You see I’ve never really been one to mince words when it comes to truth. If I see it, I call it as I see it. Some don’t like that. Some of us are used to people dancing around hard topics. And I can respect that, but it’s just not how I operate on the daily. So I have made it my practice to be honest, truthful but tone down the blatant hitting between the eyes with the truths they don’t want to hear.

I’ve lost friends because they didn’t like the truth when it came out. I’ve angered some people who weren’t ready to have the truth of what they are saying or doing shined back at them. I’m not laying total blame on everyone else by any means. I’m just as much at fault as they are. I can’t help it if someone else doesn’t like the truth, but I can adjust how I go about saying the words. So I try to filter the delivery of truth without changing the message of the truth.

It may come as a bit of a shock to some, repulsive to others, and cool to still others that I am a huge fan of tattoos. For me, they have to be tastefully done and tell a story. So I have a couple of stories that are permanently etched into my skin. Just like the truth is etched into my heart and mind, these images are etched into my shoulders. And no matter what, they can’t be erased or changed. Sure some won’t like them and might stay away because they know I have them, but they’re part of me. They’re a story that I carry with me wherever I go. And I am not ashamed of them or the story the convey.

Some day, maybe on that tattooed truth page to which I was referring at the beginning, I’ll tell you the story. But if you see them popping out underneath my t-shirt and if you’re interested go ahead and ask me. I am not ashamed of the tattoos or the story they tell anymore than I am ashamed of the truth in which I believe.

There’s a line from the movie A Few Good Men that really applies here. And many of you who are of the right generations are probably saying it in your minds, if not out loud. You can’t handle the truth. That’s the line. You can’t handle the truth.

Unfortunately there are people in our circles today who simply can’t handle the truth. They say they can, but when the truth they apply to other people is applied to them, they flip out. We are living in a culture dominated by thin-skinned people who in general have a hard time with matters of truth.

So it’s time to toughen up a bit. If you’re going to belittle someone for something you better make sure you have your story straight. And you better darn well make sure you know what you’re saying. There’s a passage in the bible that I love to refer to in my own life, so I’ll share a summary of it with you. The gist is this – don’t go picking someone else apart for something they said or did if you haven’t addressed your own shortcomings first.

Here’s a truth for you. Finding a problem with something someone else is doing, then turning around and doing the same thing yourself makes you a hypocrite. Don’t do that! And for those of you who are a little soft skinned and need that tamed down, that is the tamed down version of the truth. It’s just not cool to put someone down at all, but even worse to do it only to turn around and do the very thing you were just belittling someone else for doing!

There you have it. As bold, direct and unapologetic as the tattoos on my right and left shoulders. I sure hope you can handle the truth, because we don’t change the truth to suit our desires.

Can you handle the truth?

Gross! What’s In The Bowl?

March 12, 2020 / / 0 Comments

We use our dishwasher a lot. With a house of five and the speed of our schedules it’s just easier to throw the dishes in the dishwasher and let technology help us out a bit. Sometimes automating a task is super helpful. But there’s a small problem. Every once in a while we overfill the dishwasher and stack one bowl on top of another of block the arm of the dishwasher from spinning. When this happens the dishes don’t get cleaned all the way. Often the outside of the bowl will be clean but the inside remains dirty.

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