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Tag: Friendship (Page 1 of 2)

At Least They Didn’t See You Naked!

February 9, 2023 / / 0 Comments

Ok so this one is a bit of an out there kind of comment and I get it, but bear with me. No pun intended, well sort of.

I was recently chatting in a bible study group on the book of Luke in the New Testament. It was the story of Jesus healing the man with many demons. If you don’t know the story, it’s found in Luke 8. But the gist is that a man was possessed by many demons. Those demons did everything they could to try to kill the man. They gave him some unique abilities that we would call supernatural. But they also made him a tad out of his mind to the point that he would often be found running around town stark naked.

I know that would be a tad embarrassing to say the least, right? Well, after Jesus healed this man of his demons and cast them out of him, the man was in his right mind again. And all he could do was tell everyone around him about the man who healed him. And yes he was fully clothed.

As a pastor I hear a lot of people saying how uncomfortable they are with the idea of telling their friends and family what Jesus has done in their lives. We call that evangelism in the church world. We get a little apprehensive because we don’t have all of the answers. We aren’t sure we have the courage to speak up. We’re embarrassed about the idea of it. And what if people talk about us like we’re some kind of weirdo or freak?

Ok so I get it. The idea of sharing your faith is something that’s a bit abnormal. And I also agree that it can be a little unnerving at times. But at least the people you’re telling about Jesus didn’t see you naked!

Could you imagine being that man walking around town telling the people all that Jesus had done knowing that just yesterday he was running around town in his birthday suit? Now I get it. This isn’t the most normal way to think about this passage. And I’ve never really considered myself normal, so take that for what it is.

It’s really not that hard to do when you have had the experience this man had. He knew how much Jesus did for him so even his embarrassing naked escapades didn’t stop him. Do you know how much he’s done for you? Can you see the difference he’s made in your life?

Jesus isn’t calling you to streak through town. He’s just telling you that if you’ve experienced something that he’s done for you, then have the courage and boldness to talk about it. It’s really that easy.

Life Lesson

February 2, 2023 / / 0 Comments

I’ve been accused of having a strong personality. Some call it a charismatic personality. Others call me loud. Some say I am far too outside the box for their liking. And if I’m being honest with myself and the world around me, they’re right.

My personality isn’t for everyone. As a matter of fact there are some people who feel threatened by the questions I ask or the challenge I give. In a recent study of the book of 1 Samuel I came across a line that said insecure people feel threatened by successful people.

Wow I really like that one! But I think it can go even one step further. I think that insecure people feel threatened by confident people. I by no means would consider myself wildly successful. As a matter of fact, I have failed at far more things that I have accomplished in life. But in failure I believe that I learn and grow and to me even a failure is a success if I learn from it.

Confident people are scary. Not because they are arrogant or know it alls but when a person is confident they aren’t afraid to try something even if failure is a real possibility. I recently have requested to have a conversation with a group about a direction of an organization of which I am a part.

Remember I’m not everyone’s favorite and I’m actually not offended by that. The challenge however is that the people with whom I’ve been speaking want nothing to do with having a hard conversation. I wonder if there’s something about this principle to blame for their unwillingness? Insecure people feel threatened by confident people. I may never know the reason but the principle remains.

Let’s get back to that whole 1 Samuel reference. This book contains the famous story of David and Goliath. Part of the story that is often overlooked is what immediately follows. Saul, a very large and powerful man, is King over Israel. But David is a young boy who really wasn’t respected even though he was confident in what the Lord could do through him. Saul hated David in part because David was successful.

There’s a verse to a song found in 1 Samuel that claims Saul killed his thousands but David his tens of thousands. Saul was not happy. He wanted to be the answer man. He wanted to have all the keys to success for being the best King and ruler and protector of the people. But here’s this confident little twerp who just killed the biggest threat to the Israelite people and he’s gaining popularity.

Instead of thanking David or praising the God who gave David this ability, Saul wanted to kill David. Man success and confidence of character don’t always prove helpful when it comes to friendships.

So life lesson for today. It’s ok to be confident and successful, but know that not everyone will like your confidence and success. As a matter of fact people that once called you friend will likely dismiss you because of your confidence or success. Don’t let someone else’s insecurity stop you from living a life of confidence and doing what you are called to do.

Can You Really Have Your Best Life Now?

October 4, 2022 / / 0 Comments

Let’s get this out of the way right from the start. This is not an outright knock on a religious best selling book or its author, well not exactly. If someone told you, however, that you had the ability to have your best life in this moment, would you listen? Or like me, would you think there was some crazy catch, gimmick, or sales pitch coming your way? If you bear with me for a few minutes, I hope you are able to see that your best life really is possible and there’s no gimmicks, sales pitch, or any bait and switch attached to it.

Simply put I believe the message of Jesus in the Bible is one of having your best life right now. Don’t believe me? Read on.

The message of your best life now is often seen through the lenses of prosperity, wealth, power, and fame. All of those things that we can stock pile in our lives to elevate us above someone else are considered ways to have our best life right here and right now. But what about having our best life in some of the crappier moments in life?

The message of the Bible is one that totally throws the whole prosperity message on its head. Essentially, Jesus says that we can have our best life in the midst of the most fearful, dangerous, heart breaking, painful, lonely, hurting moments we could ever imagine.

It’s really less about circumstances and more about perspective. When Jesus came onto the scene the message of who God was, and what God wanted for his people, had become distorted at best. The idea of grace, goodness, mercy and forgiveness became things worked for and earned instead of free gifts given and received. It’s no wonder some people thought, and still think this way today, that we need to work harder for God’s blessings. It’s no surprise that we tend to think our best life only happens when things are going the way we want them to go.

So what does it take to have our best life now? I think it takes a change of heart. A different perspective. A less selfish approach to life. An others mentality. It’s really not important how you word it. The idea is simple. The way to have our best life now is to put someone else’s needs before our own. I know that it’s super counterintuitive, but that’s why it works so well.

Have you ever done something nice for someone else, like really just out of the goodness of your heart helped them? Then somewhere down the road some sort of blessing, benefit, good deed is done to you? Some call it karma or the universe repaying us. Others just call it good luck. But what if that’s the idea behind the real best life? What if the best life isn’t about amassing large amounts of things for ourselves and it’s really about serving those around you? What if our best life isn’t found in a padded checkbook but instead in the smile on a homeless man’s face when he receives a meal? What if it’s found in the gratitude of a widow when her needs are taken care of anonymously? What if our best life is found in spending time with a friend when he’s lost his wife, or she’s lost her job, or their child is ill? What if our best life is found in serving those around us with no strings attached and with no expectation of repayment?

I am a firm believer that we can and should have our best life right now. And to not have our best life now, in my mind is a misplaced understanding of who Jesus is and how he’s called us to live. The best life is a gospel filled life. The best life is a life that has its priorities straight. The best life is a life that keeps the main thing the main thing and doesn’t let personal ambition take the place of genuine love for those around us.

I think our best life isn’t just possible, it’s the only way to really have an enjoyable life.

Just Be Real

April 1, 2022 / / 0 Comments

One thing that I absolutely cannot stand is people being fake. It shows a massive lack of integrity and I quite frankly don’t have space in my life for fake people. So why in the world do people pretend to be one thing in one group and then act totally different in another? What would it take for you to just be real, all the time?

In my nearly 46 years of life, I’ve met a lot of people. Some of those people have made an indelible mark, but not all for good reasons. There are some people who come across your life and just make a special handprint on your heart. You can’t really describe it. Something they say. Something they do. There’s just something about them. But what happens when those kinds of people turn out to be, well…fake?

There has been a trend in the past couple of years in many levels of relationships that has been startling. People have abandoned who they were for some new version of who they are today. People have given into some version of change that has shifted their entire being and made them less real.

Now some will say maybe this is who I was the whole time. But that’s rubbish. Which brings me to my first point. The person you really are is the person you gravitate toward internally, not the person you feel you have to be in order to be welcomed into a crowd. All too often we let the crowd determine who we are. We change who we are based on the company we keep. If you have to change to be accepted, then frankly those people aren’t worth your time.

This is where our second point comes in. Be very careful the company you keep. If the company you keep is bringing a significant shift in character or lifestyle, then you might want to give second thought to those so called friends. A real friend is one who is there for you even when you don’t act like them. If you have to change who you are and what you find acceptable to be welcomed into a specific group of people, then it’s pretty likely they don’t care about you at all. They just want something from you. Or they welcome you because of what you add to the group dynamic. When you have served your purpose, they’ll quickly set you aside.

Another aspect of this whole just be real idea is that many people are just weak. If you’re feeling the need to do something you never before would have done or that is questionable relative to your morals, then you’re probably a pretty weak person. Look I know this is going to hit some people the wrong way, and that’s ok. Sometimes you need someone to tell you the truth, even when you don’t like the message. But seriously get some guts.

Something we have tried to instill in our children is the realization that you don’t need to be liked by everyone. There will be people in your life who won’t like what you do or say just because it’s different. That’s ok. Just be you. Be true to who you are. Don’t shift your character because you want to be included, or you’ll end up with a compromised character and no friends in the end. Don’t be one person in public and another in private or you’ll soon not even know who you are anymore. And for crying out loud man up a bit, or woman up works too. Be confident in who you are. You’re not a spineless piece of clay that everyone can mold.

The long and short is that people change over time and that’s to be expected. But when the person you are becoming is the polar opposite of who you once were, then you’re likely headed down a road that will lead to loneliness, destruction, and embarrassment. So how about you just be real and save everyone, including yourself, the trouble.

When Silence Speaks

March 30, 2022 / / 0 Comments

There’s an old saying that reminds us silence is golden. Sometimes that is more true than you might realize. There are moments in life when keeping quiet is the best thing you can do. Silence isn’t about having nothing to say, it’s about knowing when to say something and when words will have little effect.

I’d like to challenge you all to take some silent time. Now I know that if you’re anything like me, the idea of sitting in absolute silence is unproductive and honestly terrifying. I just don’t do silence well at all. But it’s so important.

I’m currently reading a book on the power of silence. Ok so it’s not really on the power of silence but there’s a chapter devoted to silence and how essential it is. It’s not a churchy book or a book on spiritual exercises either. It’s actually a book on hostage negotiations of all things.

Some of you are probably rolling your eyes on the topic of the book but we’ll talk about that another time. The real reason I am reading this book is because it was referred by a friend when we were talking about the power of silence in sales and negotiations. You have no idea how powerful silence really is.

A former chapter in my life story was spent in the car sales world. And this is where I learned the ultimate power of silence. I won’t go into the psychology behind it or anything but silence was the difference between a car sale and a flop sale. The moments when you stay quiet, on the buying or sales side, are the moments when you win big in the car buying world.

But silence is more than just for car sales. As a matter of fact silence should be a part of all of our lives, but we’ve become so addicted to the inaudible noises in life that silence can’t even be heard or experienced. So what is the power of silence?

Think about when you were a child, or the last time someone treated you like they were a child by giving you the silent treatment. Why did the silent treatment work when you were a child? And why doesn’t it work when you’re an adult?

Silence works for children because they haven’t been trained on how to fill their minds with all sorts of noises that can distract them. This is also why it doesn’t work for you and me as adults. We’ve mastered the art of filling our lives with noise. But silence is so important.

Even though I wouldn’t want to go back and do it over again, some days I really wish the power of silence wasn’t so lost on me. I wish I could sit in a room with low lighting and empty my mind of all the distractions but it’s just not possible.

There’s a story in the bible where silence is the key player. Ok so stick with me for a second and this won’t stay super “churchy”. Throughout the Bible there’s sound. God even starts the whole creating process with the spoken word. No silent treatment there. But two times in biblical history was there a moment of silence from heaven. The first time was when Jesus was praying in the garden. He wanted to be with the Father. He wanted to have his voice heard but in that moment was silence. It was deafening. It was awful. It caused his heart to break to be sure. The second time wasn’t any better either. He was on the cross and the world was hurling insults and lies and hatred at him. He just wanted His father to be close. Instead…silence. Not a single solitary word. Silence was all he heard.

You see silence is powerful because silence is more than a noise heard or a word spoken. Silence is broken in the presence of a friend. The glance across the room from someone who cares has the power to shatter the terrifying grip of silence. Sometimes our friends and loved ones have the power to unlock our moments of silence without a singe audible word.

You see silence from audible noises is really important. And I would honestly encourage you to find moments when you can sit in still and silent spaces. But more importantly remember that you don’t always have to say something. As a matter of fact you can say far more through your presence than your words will ever be able to say. The long and short is simple. Enjoy the silence when it’s there. But know you have the power to rescue someone from silence without even saying a word.

Grief Sucks

March 22, 2022 / / 0 Comments

We’ve all experienced it. We’ve all seen it. Felt it. Went through it. We’ve all had the taste of loss put in our mouths. Maybe the loss of a loved one to cancer. Maybe it was the loss of a job. Maybe we didn’t get the promotion and feel as if we lost out on something big. Maybe it’s the feeling of loss we have when a child moves out of the house. Maybe it’s the loss of a friend or even a spouse. All of these losses cause us to go through a time of grief. And to put it mildly, grief sucks.

Grief sucks because it’s hard. Grief is hard because there’s no clear cut path to make our way through it. And when we’re in an uncomfortable place, our number one priority is to get through it. We don’t want to be in a challenging situation any longer than is absolutely necessary. Grief is no different.

Everything around us tells us that we need to get over our grief. Sure people don’t say that but when you listen to their words, it’s pretty evident. We don’t like being around crying people because we don’t know what to say or do. So we try to give some feel good platitude that makes us feel like we’re doing something, but it really isn’t helpful in the least to the person grieving.

Grief is hard because it’s like quicksand. When we fall into grief, the more we resist it the more it sucks us right into its awful grasp. We become so tunnel visioned on the loss and the pain associated with it, that we can’t see anything positive around us at all.

Grief is suffered in moments, but is meant to be lived out in stories.

Think about it for a minute. The last time you were in a place of grief, what was your focus? It was the loss and only the loss. We become so tunnel visioned that we can’t see beyond the loss and the feelings of pain and abandonment associated with grief. It’s as if grief is all that’s left in life. But grief isn’t the end of the story, at least it doesn’t have to be.

When we realize that grief is acceptable and that there are stages of grief that allow us to move through it and not get trapped in the middle of it, we can soon see the power of baby steps. First of all, don’t hear what I’m not saying here. Grief is not something you need to get over. But you do need to move through. We all need to make progress walking through the darkness and loneliness of grief but we don’t do it alone.

As a pastor, I look at life a little different than some. I believe that grief has a very important purpose in our lives. Grief is a way to check ourselves on what’s important. Grief helps us see who and what is around us to walk with us through challenge. Grief, although awful, doesn’t get the final word.

I’ve suffered some pretty significant losses in life. From losing two grandparents in less than a year, to losing close friends, having to close a church and leave the people behind that I loved dearly. Loss is hard. It sucks to be honest. But grief is part of a story that is being written, but it doesn’t have to be the final chapter.

Another way to look at grief is to not let it have the final word. When we keep staring our loss in the face, day in and day out, we’re letting the pain and loss and grief consume us. The moment is becoming the story. It’s as if grief is getting to put a period, hard stop at the end of our joy. But that’s not healthy and it’s not even true!

Grief isn’t a period. It’s a comma. The purpose of a period is to show an ending. The purpose of a comma is to help you pivot to a new line of thought taking into account what just happened. This means that the loss you are experiencing right now can lead you to something next that could only be experienced with the taste of grief in your mouth. I know that’s hard to swallow because we just want it to end, but that’s not how grief works.

Grief has to run its course. For some it’s days. For others it takes months or even years. You’ll never get over the loss. But you’ll grow through the grief. The point is simple. Don’t let grief have the final say. Don’t let grief be a period where God intends a comma. Don’t let the moments of grief prevent you from experiencing the fullness of the story of your life. Grief sucks, but it’s not the end of your story.

Please note: if you are suffering from a loss and feel massive burdens of anxiety and depression, I would encourage you to find a professional to help you. There is absolutely nothing wrong with talking to someone who can help you process the grief and find healthy tools to aide in coping with the weight of grief. You’re not in this alone.

Healthy Relationships

January 18, 2022 / / 0 Comments

There’s a rhythm that needs to be established in the relationships we hold. There needs to be boundaries and some freedoms at the same time. But it seems in out culture today we’ve lost something important in our relationships. We’ve lost the depth in our relationships. We’ve become shallow.

We’re culture that wants our friends as long as they tell us what we want to hear, do what we want them to do, and go where we want them to go. And if we don’t get our way, then we run away or dismiss that person altogether. It’s a shame that we’ve fallen prey to the division that is happening in our world. And the worst part of this is that it’s happening in the church too, with people who claim to follow the ways of Jesus. Well that’s not Jesus’ way.

Relationships that can’t endure the hard moments demonstrate a lack of depth. Whether it’s a friendship or a dating relationship or neighbors or even a marriage, there needs to be a willingness to have hard conversations. Part of the issue we’re facing in our shallow lives today is that we can’t have hard conversations. We’d rather run than do something hard. But running has never been the plan God had for us. Running isolates and causes us to be alone.

We need to suck it up and do the hard things in life and have those hard conversations instead of cowering, running, or dismissing people with different views than we have.

Something that’s become extremely common in our lives especially as of late is isolation has become the normal. Whether it’s for health purposes or just our inability to deal with challenging circumstances, people are running away from everything and everyone that is important to them and isolating themselves. The Bible is clear that isolation is not a good thing! Not by any means is it good for a longterm strategy for life.

Sure we can back away to gather ourselves before we say something off color. We can take a little time out, so to speak, to gather our thoughts and heal a bit. But isolation is a longterm kind of thing. This is not God’s design. And frankly it is not healthy at all!

This week we talked about isolation, friendships, and how healthy relationships are critical to how we live out our faith. Some things to wrestle with as you consider your relationships.

Are you distancing yourself from someone in your life just because you don’t see things eye to eye? How can you move past that disagreement? What part of the disagreement is on you?

You see when we can claim a piece of the pie of our relationship breakdowns, we have a harder time blaming the other person. The point is that it takes two to have a problem. What part of the problem do you need to own up to?

Do you know who your real friends are?

January 6, 2022 / / 0 Comments
60 Best Friendship Quotes - Cute Short Sayings About Best Friends

As I was driving to the gym this morning, I had the chance to listen to one of my frequent podcasts. This one has been a regular for me the past 2 years. The topic was all about what we’ve learned in 2021. It was kind of the wrap up podcast for the year. The podcast guest was talking about the challenges of life he’d experienced in 2021 and something really stood out at me.

He said that he’s learned who his real friends are and who his seasonal friends are. He described the difference between real friends – those who are there for you no matter what, and seasonal friends – those who are there as long as you have something they want or need then they leave you as soon as you’ve fulfilled that felt need.

Wow. I have to say that was a pretty hard knock on the chin as I listened. I think I’ve felt and probably been both of those kinds of friends. Now some key take aways for me from this podcast, and how it has applied to my life. The speaker was a pastor so understand he is speaking from a perspective that I can very much relate to. As a pastor, it’s hard at times to fully invest in every relationship that comes my way. There are times when I have to honestly tell people that I just can’t invest a ton of time into a new relationship at the moment. I know that sounds weird but we only have so much capacity and I am becoming increasingly aware of my limits. With age evidently does come some element of wisdom. You can keep your comments to yourself here thank you very much!

Friendships take time and effort to be certain and a real friend is one who understands that these efforts have to be reciprocal but not always equal. The speaker on the podcast went on to say that throughout the past couple of years in his church, he’s lost several people he thought were real friends. Some left when things got challenging. Others bailed when they didn’t like how he handled a certain situation. And some just quit communicating altogether for reasons unknown to him.

I think we’ve all seen this to some extent or another over the past several months and even years. Maybe you’re the one who’s lost friends like this? Maybe you’re one of those who’s abandoned a solid friendship for something that is more to your liking in the moment? No matter on which side of this you land, know that relationships are a two way street that take effort which ebbs and flows over time.

The distinction between friends who are there for you until they get what they need then leave and those who are there when you have nothing left to offer was intriguing to me. Have you ever experienced that? Someone seemingly receives the encouragement, support, companionship and help from you for a period of time – then they vanish like the cheshire cat in Alice in Wonderland?

I know this is a hard statement to hear and even harder to apply but don’t take it personally. If you’ve lost friends in this way, know that sometimes God has to remove some things from your life to free you up for new things. Not always better things but there will always be something new around the corner.

I think that many friendships will last beyond our apparent usefulness. There will be those people in your life who will always be there regardless of time and distance and even you ability to be helpful to them. Some of our friendships are just that solid. I know that I have several of these kinds of friends in my life and I value them highly. But we’ll also have some friendships that will be around for a season, then vanish like the fog as the sun rises. I value these friendships as well. All of those people who come into our lives are there for a reason. They are present to teach us something about life, friendship, and even ourselves.

To those I call friend thank you for being a part of my life in any variety of ways. To those who’ve come and gone, you’re likely not even reading this but thank you for the ways you’ve supported and influenced me through life. I value each of you for who God made you to be and the impact you’ve had on me.

As I grow older I realize that real friends who are there through thick and thin are much more valuable than I ever thought possible. Cherish the ones you have! Pour into those relationships because they are more precious than the finest gold.

Are You A Good Friend?

August 6, 2021 / / 0 Comments

So I’ve been doing a little thinking lately (can you smell brain cells burning?). I’ve been thinking about friendships and what it takes to be a good friend. I really didn’t think about writing anything about this because, well to be honest, I don’t consider myself a super friendly person. It’s not that friendship isn’t important to me but it seems in life friendships come and go based on preference and time. But perhaps it’s because we don’t really understand how friendship works at its core.

I believe that many friendships are internally focused. We kind of ask the whole what’s in it for me kind of question when it comes to friendships. But that’s really not what friendships are about. Friendships are not about me but about the other person. If we’re asking the me questions then we have the wrong focus. And I fear that we have an improper focus in a lot of areas.

So if friendships aren’t about me then what are they about? The other person!

We enter friendships with questions like why don’t they do things how I want? or I don’t like it when they tell me that truth, even though it’s truth, because it hurts my feelings.

I recently ran across an article titled 7 Tips for Being a Good Friend. It had some pretty golden points in it. I’ve linked the article here, but below are the 30,000 foot view of those points. By all means follow the link to check out the full article.

  • Face to Face is Best – we live in a tech savvy world and often prefer text and social media to actual contact but when it comes to friendships in person is always the best option.
  • Establish Rhythms – when our friendships are not intentional they’ll easily dissolve into something unhealthy and eventually just fade away.
  • Ask Deeper Questions – friendships sometimes deal in some pretty surface level stuff, but a lasting friendship will go deeper to what’s behind the obvious.
  • Be Affirming – there’s nothing better than to have someone who’s opinion you value give you some affirming feedback. Give and receive this affirmation well.
  • Get Away Together – so this might be a little more challenging in some circles but taking a friend-cation might be a fun thing to do to deepen and grow your existing friendships.
  • Be Early Stay Late – one challenge the last 18 months has brought us is a lack of connection at church. So when it comes to worship, show up 15 minutes early and don’t bolt when it’s over. Instead stick around and strike up conversations with people you care about.
  • Dig Deeper with Discipleship – So for those of us who are Jesus followers taking a friendship to the next level will happen only when we bring Jesus into the middle of that friendship.

While this list is likely not exhaustive, nor will it fit all friendship circles, there is certainly some friendship gold in here for all of us. I have some friendships that don’t do all of these things, but the biggest part of friendship is being present in the moment.

Finally, if you and your friend don’t see eye to eye on something, it doesn’t mean you have to disown them. You can be friends with people with whom you don’t agree. Have some robust conversations. Engage in dialogue. Listen well. Be there for them. Most of all be kind it goes a long way in a world that’s void of kindness.

Three Directions That Matter

May 12, 2021 / / 0 Comments

I’ve been spending a lot of time considering relationships lately. There are so many key relationships that we need to tend in our lives. We need to maintain healthy relationships in so many areas of life. From family to friends to co-works to neighbors balancing all of them and figuring out how to keep all these relationships going can be challenging. But what if we can categorize things into groupings that allow us to see our relationships from a different light.

I’ve been considering my relationships as focusing on three different areas or in three different directions. These directions are up, in and out.

Up

The relationship that fits in this category is the relationship we have with God. This is a super important relationship. We need to spend intentional time focusing on and growing in our relationship with God. It’s done through time in worship, Bible study and prayer to name just a few. This relationship is critical to say the very least. It’s important because it sets up how we view the other relationships in our lives. If this relationship is not in focus, then the other two categories will not be in focus either.

In

There’s a distinction in our world between people who are in and those who are out. This generally means that one group, the in group, believes what you believe and see life how you see life. While the out group is not seeing life how you see life and does not believe what and how you believe. We’ll use this category the same way. Those who fall in our in group are those who see, think, believe and even act like we do. They generally are people who are believers as well. They have an up relationship with God. They talk about that relationship and share very similar values that you share. Growing relationships in this category is critical.

This is like building your family. You are surrounding yourself with people who are of a similar mindset. It’s the whole strength in numbers or brotherhood in suffering mentality. When you’re surrounded by men and women who see life through a similar set of lenses as you see life, you’ll find comfort in rough times and power in good times.

Out

The final category of relationships are those who don’t see life the same way. And to be totally honest this set of relationships is extremely important just like the other two. Think of it as a triangle. You need all three sides and all three angles to make a proper triangle. Well to have a balanced and healthy lifestyle, you need all three types of relationships. The people who find their way into this category are those who don’t see life the same way you see life. But just because you don’t agree on the best color of carpet or the best sports team, doesn’t mean you can’t still engage in dialogue and have a healthy relationship. These are neighbors and coworkers, teammates and classmates.

We don’t share everything with these people but we do share some overlap in our interests and hobbies and extracurriculars. These people are everywhere and we need to invest some healthy time in these kinds of friendships and relationships.

The key for all of this is to balance the three. If we are too heavy on any one side of this triangle the whole thing gets wonky. We’ll spend some time over the next few weeks looking at lopsided relational triangles. But for now, here’s a little more explanation of the three sides and how we live them out.

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