living for eternity today

Tag: friends

Trip Down Memory Lane

I recently had the chance to take a trip down memory lane. You know one of those moments when you’re surrounded by people you knew in a former life and all the feels came flooding back. After getting home from a funeral in my home town, I started thinking about all the people that have impacted my life through the years. And be careful because the older you get, the more people are on that list.

As I looked around the room that day, I saw face after face of people I knew. Some of them I haven’t seen in more than 20 years! It was crazy to see that many people from my past all in one place. It was saddening to see that so many of them had become sheer memories until we walked into that funeral home.

The really sad part was that so often these trips down memory lane happen at life altering moments. Sometimes they’re at weddings and reunions but often we see these people and trigger these memories as we walk past the family at a funeral. And that was the case for me.

I was leading a funeral service for the mother of a friend. He and I connect periodically. But the crowd that came into the funeral that day to pay their respects were the ones I hadn’t seen in far too long. In an age of social media and all the communication devices that we have at our disposal, there’s really no reason to not stay connected.

It’s as if we’ve grown comfortable with being isolated from one another. It’s as if we’ve grown somehow ok with distant relationships and virtual connections. There’s nothing ok about virtual relationships! Call me old fashioned or whatever you want for that matter, but relationships are best celebrated in person!

I can’t tell you how to do life. I don’t have that right to be honest. But I can tell you that even if you’re an introvert you still need people. Doing life in a bubble of isolation is not good. Removing yourself from the people who mean something to you is unhealthy and will eventually leave you stranded on an island of loneliness.

Don’t wait for a funeral to reconnect with friends from your distant past. Reach out. Grab a coffee. Sit down over a glass of bourbon. Go for a walk. Have a barbecue. Host a game night. Gather as friends. This life is far too short to try to go it alone. Open up and let people in. You won’t regret it especially when you’re wading through the mess of life, broken and lonely.

Take your own trip down memory lane! It will do you some good.

Mental Health IS REAL Health

I’m not sure if you’ve realized it or not but I think people are a tad more on edge these days. So maybe I’m stating the obvious here. But I’ve noticed in my own life that things that are minor irritations tend to irritate me more than they should, and things that shouldn’t be a problem at all are all of a sudden a problem. And I know it’s not just me. I see people nearly everyday who are struggling with the same thing.

The neighbor’s dog gets out the door without him catching it and it’s like the worst thing in the world. A child doesn’t listen like they should and mom gets all bent out of shape. You’re not feeling well and you think you’re dying. A friend tells you a hard truth and you just can’t handle it so you lash out in defensive anger.

There are a million things going on in our lives right now that are hard to handle. And what makes it worse is that we’re running in high gear nearly all the time now. Our work is now virtual which means we feel like we have to check our email after supper. We have access to our calendar and contacts at all hours of day and night including weekends and we think if we’re not on then we’re no enough.

And while we’re running at full speed, we’re also running on empty. We aren’t sleeping as good as we used to. We’re stressed about jobs, finances, health, children’s education, family matters and the list goes on. We just can’t seem to get ahead. And what’s worse is we don’t think we can get help. We live in a world that demonizes mental struggles as if they’re a sign of weakness or like we’ve done something wrong.

Look my family all wears glasses, well all of them but me. Does that mean they’re all weak people? If you can’t see clearly, you’re very likely to go to the eye doctor and get an exam and even get something to help you see better. If you can’t hear you’ll get a hearing assist device. If you can’t walk, a cane or walker or crutch is always an option.

So why is it that when we have a struggle with our emotional or mental health we just don’t think we can get help? I want you to hear very clearly that your mental health is your health. If you’re emotionally or mentally wiped out, exhausted, struggling there is absolutely no shame in getting the equivalent of a pair of glasses for your mental health.

You can be the strongest person in the world, with seemingly everything going for you and still be empty emotionally and struggling mentally. Friends we need to find people in whom we can confide. People who can help us carry our burdens of mind, body and spirit. Everyone needs at least one trusted person in whom they can confide. Someone they can share their struggles with and honestly be vulnerable.

It’s not a weakness to admit you’re having a hard time. It’s not a weakness to wear glass or take a treatment for diabetes. Take care of yourselves friends. Find someone you can trust and share life with them because your mental health is real health.

Please note: if you’re struggling with mental health related issues and need emergency care, call your emergency care provider immediately. There are also agencies devoted to assisting you manage and navigate the many mental health challenges that we’re all facing at one level or another these days.

Shoulders

I like being strong and in control. I like to know what’s coming and handle issues before they become problems. I have broad shoulders and I love to carry other people’s burdens. It’s what I do. It’s who I am. It’s the person God made me to be. Some call it compassion and well that’s true, but I don’t just feel other’s pain I try to prevent it. But if I’m being honest, I can’t fix every problem. I can’t prevent everyone’s pain. And sometimes even the strongest person needs a shoulder.  Continue reading

Friends Are Friends Forever

Friends are something that all too often are overlooked. I’m not talking about a friend who’s here one day and gone the next but a real friend. A real friend is one who is there with you through the greatest of times and sticks around when everything is falling apart. A friend isn’t there for themselves but there for you. A true friend can see your hurt and is comfortable just being present to hold you up when you’re too weak to stand. Friends bring fun and exciting things to life and can put a smile on our faces just by walking in a room. Continue reading

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