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Tag: family (Page 2 of 3)

Are You A Good Friend?

August 6, 2021 / / 0 Comments

So I’ve been doing a little thinking lately (can you smell brain cells burning?). I’ve been thinking about friendships and what it takes to be a good friend. I really didn’t think about writing anything about this because, well to be honest, I don’t consider myself a super friendly person. It’s not that friendship isn’t important to me but it seems in life friendships come and go based on preference and time. But perhaps it’s because we don’t really understand how friendship works at its core.

I believe that many friendships are internally focused. We kind of ask the whole what’s in it for me kind of question when it comes to friendships. But that’s really not what friendships are about. Friendships are not about me but about the other person. If we’re asking the me questions then we have the wrong focus. And I fear that we have an improper focus in a lot of areas.

So if friendships aren’t about me then what are they about? The other person!

We enter friendships with questions like why don’t they do things how I want? or I don’t like it when they tell me that truth, even though it’s truth, because it hurts my feelings.

I recently ran across an article titled 7 Tips for Being a Good Friend. It had some pretty golden points in it. I’ve linked the article here, but below are the 30,000 foot view of those points. By all means follow the link to check out the full article.

  • Face to Face is Best – we live in a tech savvy world and often prefer text and social media to actual contact but when it comes to friendships in person is always the best option.
  • Establish Rhythms – when our friendships are not intentional they’ll easily dissolve into something unhealthy and eventually just fade away.
  • Ask Deeper Questions – friendships sometimes deal in some pretty surface level stuff, but a lasting friendship will go deeper to what’s behind the obvious.
  • Be Affirming – there’s nothing better than to have someone who’s opinion you value give you some affirming feedback. Give and receive this affirmation well.
  • Get Away Together – so this might be a little more challenging in some circles but taking a friend-cation might be a fun thing to do to deepen and grow your existing friendships.
  • Be Early Stay Late – one challenge the last 18 months has brought us is a lack of connection at church. So when it comes to worship, show up 15 minutes early and don’t bolt when it’s over. Instead stick around and strike up conversations with people you care about.
  • Dig Deeper with Discipleship – So for those of us who are Jesus followers taking a friendship to the next level will happen only when we bring Jesus into the middle of that friendship.

While this list is likely not exhaustive, nor will it fit all friendship circles, there is certainly some friendship gold in here for all of us. I have some friendships that don’t do all of these things, but the biggest part of friendship is being present in the moment.

Finally, if you and your friend don’t see eye to eye on something, it doesn’t mean you have to disown them. You can be friends with people with whom you don’t agree. Have some robust conversations. Engage in dialogue. Listen well. Be there for them. Most of all be kind it goes a long way in a world that’s void of kindness.

Perhaps An Unpopular Opinion

May 5, 2021 / / 1 Comment

I want to start by saying this will likely be unpopular with some of you and I respect your opinion. However this is something I am starting to believe more and more firmly as I watch my own home, church, community, country and the world as a whole. To put it short, the biggest challenge facing the world right now is not political, medical or financial. It’s about family.

Everything in our world right now is messed up and upside down and it has nothing to do with who’s in the White House or how imbalanced the sides of the aisle are currently. It has nothing to do with unemployment or national debt. The problems that we are facing by and large come from the breakdown and devaluing of the family unit and men it’s our fault.

Now before you go getting all upset and crankified hear me out.

Men have neglected their responsibility, and it’s killing families which in turn kills communities which in turn kills cultures which in turn is messing up the whole world in which we live.

If we want to really right the ship we’re all sailing on we’ll focus on raising men who know how to be men. We’ll raise a man who stays with his wife even when he disagrees with her. We’ll teach a man to be there for his family, not just abandon them or throw a paycheck at them. We’ll teach a man to claim responsibility for failures and mistakes. We talk about abortion but why not focus on teach the boys in our culture to keep their pants on! We talk about getting handouts from the government but why not teach boys to get jobs and stick with them!

The problem isn’t about jobs or politics or even race. It’s that we as a society have let men get off the hook with being pansies. We’ve let them stay boys in a world that needs men. We’ve let them run off and abandon their wife and kids. All this does is teach the next generation that this is the way you can treat a woman. And the cycle continues and spirals.

If we want a movement in our world that will really impact an entire nation and that balances presumed racial hate and elevates women, then we need to start teaching men how to be men. When men reach the top of our potential, we’re better able to lift the ceiling so that our wife and children can go farther and higher than we were able to go.

We’ll never grow as a society on the shoulders of weak men. We’ll never conquer the hate in our world be belittling anyone. You don’t empower one people group by putting another group down.

Men we haven’t lived lives worth following. We haven’t been worthy of the respect we so badly want from those around us. We’ve been weak and at time pathetic. It’s time to man up and raise the bar.

This weekend I challenged a group of guys to grow as men. I challenged them to journey with me in a study of what a man is supposed to be. I challenged them to gather in groups of three to work together and challenged each other to grow as strong men who take responsibility for their actions. Men you aren’t going to do it alone. Find a band of brothers to sharpen you. Find the group who can hold you accountable. Push each other to be present for your family. Raise you sons to be strong men of faith willing to serve those around you. It’s time we as men take our God-given responsibility seriously and man up before there aren’t any men left to stand.

Power Of Habits – Supper For 2

December 9, 2020 / / 0 Comments

Yesterday we started talking about how small habits done over time can change things in a big way in our lives. We’re going to look at daily and weekly habits over an eight day time span here. These habits come from a book that I’m reading titled The Common Rule by Justin Earley.

The premise of the book is that our habits are the waters in which we swim. The more intentional we are about choosing our habits, the more we can direct the flow and pattern of our lives. The first habit we looked at was setting your Daily Frame. You can go here to read what was all about. Today we look at a habit that is best done on a daily basis.

Supper For Two

Some of the greatest rhythms in life happen when we’re with other people. And some of the most powerful moments of conversation and friendship develop over food. This habit is pretty simple. It’s the combination of people and a good meal.

Simply put find time to eat at least one meal a day with other people. From the lunch table at school or work to the supper table at home to the coffee shop or local pub we can always find a way to be with other people.

Practical Ideas

  • no phones at the table
  • If you’re at a bar and around other people you don’t know, don’t bury your head in your device so you can have the opportunity to talk with those around you.
  • Let one person share something going on in their life as you eat together.
  • Do highs and lows around the table.
  • Share your good, bad and funny stories of the day.
  • Read a devotion together.
  • Pray for one another.

The possibilities are pretty much endless. The point however is very simple. Life was meant to be shared in rhythm with other people. Let people into the daily parts of your life even if only once a week. This will establish the rhythm of community into your life.

Image of God

November 2, 2020 / / 0 Comments

This week I wanted to share this song with you. It’s a song about who we are and how we need to view one another. This song isn’t about which side of the aisle you sit, what color your skin is, what gender, nationality, or financial status. This song is really about everyone on this earth.

We’ve lost sight of something really important. We’re all made in the image of God. Whether you believe it or not, doesn’t really change the fact that we didn’t have life until God gave it to us. We often live this image well, but there are times when we falter and live out a broken image.

Today I ask you to pause and just look around. Look at how different we all are. But look at how similar we all are too. It’s easy to see the things that make us different. It’s easy to see the things that separate us and cause division. It takes work to focus on the things that unite us. We all need air to breathe and food to survive. We all walk by putting one foot in front of the other. We all need sleep to stay healthy and exercise to stay fit.

We don’t all eat the same things or sleep at the same times or workout the same way. But just because we do things differently doesn’t mean we’re any less made in the image of God. Take time today and look around you and value the image of God that is present in everyone around you – yep even those people who are way different than you!

Respect Goes Both Ways

October 20, 2020 / / 0 Comments

What a crazy world this has turned out to be! Nothing is as it seems. It’s for sure not how it used to be. From the pandemic to the swelling political climate and from the racial divide to the quest for normalcy we’re in a time when everyone is on high alert. And hardly anyone has the tolerance for anything other than their own opinion.

I don’t like to post things on social media. As a matter of fact I don’t do a whole lot on my social feeds at all anymore. The daily Bible verse, a few blog post pushes to my feeds, and the occasional picture of a fire in the fire pit is all you get from my social networks these days. And yes that’s intentional.

Just because we have something to say doesn’t mean it always has to be said. But what’s more is that when someone says something that’s different than your way of approaching life, it does not make them the enemy.

Respect goes both ways. Share on X

We’ve grown weary of the demands on our time throughout this unpredictable year. Introverts are handling the isolation better than extroverts, but they’re having their own set of issues. Just when we think that we’re handling one problem fairly well another one smacks us in the face out of nowhere.

The message below is an excerpt from Sunday’s service. We talked about honor and respect. We looked at what it means to value those with differences of opinion.

Take a few minutes. Put your emotions to the side. Listen to what it means to love your neighbor through a challenging time.

Take Me Back (Church)

May 11, 2020 / / 0 Comments

Well this is the second time I’ve used this song but it has special meaning for me today. You see yesterday we came back to church. We’ve been waiting for this day for weeks. Being displaced from something that is so important and so life changing is no fun. Being told you can’t do something that’s great for you because of a fear of something bad for you lurking in the shadows is a terrifying thing!

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A Letter To Parents

March 20, 2020 / / 0 Comments

Dear parents,

I know that we didn’t sign up for this shelter in place mandate. I know we all feel woefully unprepared for what the days ahead hold for us. I know many of us aren’t teachers. Many of us are scrambling to do our regular jobs. Many are worried about what this means for our paychecks and some their 401K and retirement packages. I know the news seems bleak and everyday brings another element of negativity and fear to our plates. I know it because I’m living it with you. But please I have some advice as I listen to your children.

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The Ego Driven Life

June 28, 2019 / / 1 Comment

I recently had a chance to sit and chat with a friend in my office. We talked the normal things like life and ministry and all that but a comment has stuck out in my mind. We hit the idea of ego-centricity in our lives. Admittedly the point was that as infants we begin as very self-centered and egotistical animals! (No malicious intent here just go with me for a minute.) Then we kind of come out of it as we develop our relational and communication skills a bit. But when we get older we tend to swing back into that ego-centered life once again.

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