Tag: disciple (Page 19 of 31)

My Give a Crap Meter Is About To Break

January 27, 2022 / Derrick Hurst / 0 Comments

Alright I’ll apologize at the outset here to anyone who gets offended easily. However, if I’m being honest, knowing that you’re still here you probably means you don’t have super thin skin. I don’t think I have to tell anyone in our world today that life is hard. We can’t do the things we used to do. People tell us one thing then do something totally different. You pour into someone with your time and energy and love and support then they turn around and slap you in the face or turn their back on you when you’re in need. And this is beyond taxing!

There’s a very real thing happening in life right now called compassion fatigue. It’s what happens when you constantly care for others and have no one there to care for you. It’s what I call my give a crap meter is broken. And for complete transparency when that meter breaks I’m a bear to live with because it impacts how I care for everyone. When we invest in someone and they turn around and live like we don’t matter at all, it depletes our ability to care for even those close to us. We start to wonder if everyone feels the same way as that ungrateful person. We act more guarded and jaded and honestly we start to be less friendly to our real friends and family.

So if you’re one of those people who receive the care from someone but don’t show any gratitude, it’s time to fix that one. Don’t be a jerk! If someone is there for you and supporting you and lifting you up throughout life, then make sure you don’t turn around and kick them out when they’re having a hard time. Ok off my soap box because those are rarely helpful. Now for a couple of positive things to help protect yourself.

How do we combat compassion fatigue?

Surround yourself with people who care. I know this sounds like one of those ridiculous and superbly obvious statements. But you’d be surprised how many times we surround ourselves with people who suck the life out of us even when we’re empty emotionally and spiritually. Take an honest inventory of your friends and see who is really there for you when the crap hits the fan in life. Who are the ones that are there when you are hurting and broken? Who are the ones that check in to see if you are ok? Who are the ones that just show up? Who are the ones who don’t make it about themselves?

Set clear boundaries. This one is huge and I can’t stress it enough. You need to know when enough is enough. You need to know when someone is using you for their personal gain and not in the friendship for any mutual benefit. Boundaries don’t have to be the same for each person either. You just need to make sure to give yourself space to heal and recover from constantly being “on” for other people. You matter too!

Space to refuel is critical. So I’m not a big sit by a fire and read a book kind of guy, although a fire sounds good on this 5 degree day! Consider what you can do to fill yourself back up. Some like to get a massage. Others go for a walk. Maybe go out for a night with friends with no agenda. Workout. Go for a run. Drive around the outer belt, not during rush hour of course. Go on a vacation. Turn off your phone for an hour. Go play in the snow with your children. Dive into the bible or a good devotion book. There are a million things you can do to recharge a bit, you just have to be intentional. The point is that you can only pour into someone else what’s being poured into you.

Stay resilient. I always thought resilient meant never giving up or always pushing through. But the definition, according to the interwebs, is able to recover readily from a misfortune. Now that’s a pretty good one! We need to be resilient when working with people who are in a time of need. They’re going to say and do things that will hurt, but be resilient and bounce back. Don’t take it personally if a person who is in crisis doesn’t seem overly friendly. Give them space and take your own space then come back to make sure they’re ok. The point of resiliency is that we need to be flexible with those around us. If we’re super rigid, the second something goes wrong we will break. And no one wants to break.

This is not an exhaustive list of ways to combat compassion fatigue. These things are intended to hopefully help you see that you do matter. To someone in your circle you matter more than you know. Even if you’re beaten by the world and feel abandoned take time to look around and see who’s in this mess with you. If you’re empty, lean on those people. You won’t regret it.

Healthy Relationships

January 18, 2022 / Derrick Hurst / 0 Comments

There’s a rhythm that needs to be established in the relationships we hold. There needs to be boundaries and some freedoms at the same time. But it seems in out culture today we’ve lost something important in our relationships. We’ve lost the depth in our relationships. We’ve become shallow.

We’re culture that wants our friends as long as they tell us what we want to hear, do what we want them to do, and go where we want them to go. And if we don’t get our way, then we run away or dismiss that person altogether. It’s a shame that we’ve fallen prey to the division that is happening in our world. And the worst part of this is that it’s happening in the church too, with people who claim to follow the ways of Jesus. Well that’s not Jesus’ way.

Relationships that can’t endure the hard moments demonstrate a lack of depth. Whether it’s a friendship or a dating relationship or neighbors or even a marriage, there needs to be a willingness to have hard conversations. Part of the issue we’re facing in our shallow lives today is that we can’t have hard conversations. We’d rather run than do something hard. But running has never been the plan God had for us. Running isolates and causes us to be alone.

We need to suck it up and do the hard things in life and have those hard conversations instead of cowering, running, or dismissing people with different views than we have.

Something that’s become extremely common in our lives especially as of late is isolation has become the normal. Whether it’s for health purposes or just our inability to deal with challenging circumstances, people are running away from everything and everyone that is important to them and isolating themselves. The Bible is clear that isolation is not a good thing! Not by any means is it good for a longterm strategy for life.

Sure we can back away to gather ourselves before we say something off color. We can take a little time out, so to speak, to gather our thoughts and heal a bit. But isolation is a longterm kind of thing. This is not God’s design. And frankly it is not healthy at all!

This week we talked about isolation, friendships, and how healthy relationships are critical to how we live out our faith. Some things to wrestle with as you consider your relationships.

Are you distancing yourself from someone in your life just because you don’t see things eye to eye? How can you move past that disagreement? What part of the disagreement is on you?

You see when we can claim a piece of the pie of our relationship breakdowns, we have a harder time blaming the other person. The point is that it takes two to have a problem. What part of the problem do you need to own up to?

Do you have a healthy rhythm?

January 11, 2022 / Derrick Hurst / 0 Comments

So rest isn’t easy, but it’s necessary. I’m the kind of person who needs to be doing things. Well, most of the time that’s how I would have described myself. Admittedly, something has changed in me over the past several months to help me realize who and what is truly important. Sometimes it takes a hardship or challenge to get us to that point. I’m just grateful to be in a more balanced rhythm.

As a musician, ok so nominally a musician since I rarely play anymore, I never did like the long periods of rest in a piece of music. It was during those measures of rest that I tended to get lost and daydream and would regularly forget to start playing again! But the rest is what makes the rhythm make sense. If we don’t have rests in music, it’s just a bunch of silly noise that no one really can enjoy.

The same is true in our lives. If we don’t have regular ups and downs of work and rest, we’ll just be making a bunch of noise in life. And that noise will not only be hard for everyone else to hear, it will also be harmful to us.

As we move through January, we’re focusing on rhythm and how to get our lives back into some form of healthy rhythm. As a follower of Jesus, I believe we can best find our rhythm in the way we were created. The Bible says we were created in the image of God. So if we’re in the image of God, then how did he do things?

As we look at creation, we find God working then resting to admire and enjoy what he made. I think this rhythm ebbs and flows throughout the bible. Working and resting are regular parts of life in the Bible. There’s even a day set aside by God the whole purpose of which is to give us the blessing of rest. It’s called the sabbath. That set apart sabbath day is supposed to be about resting and remembering.

The bible shows over and over that this resting is supposed to remind us that we can’t do it all. It’s supposed to point us back to the times when God has stepped in and done for us. It’s supposed to remind us of when God did what was needed at just the right time to save us from not only our problems but also from ourselves!

But what God intended for our good, we soon turned into something evil and distorted. We either abuse rest and become lazy, or we neglect rest and live out some stupid messiah complex. Sorry but we’re not supposed to be either! We’re supposed to thrive and the pace of life right now is not built for you and me to thrive in any manner of speaking.

What follows is a 20 minute or so message on this idea of rest as rhythm for life and what I learned from a life without rest. I pray that you find the real rest that you need with the ones who can care for you properly in your time of recharging.

The Great Resignation

November 30, 2021 / Derrick Hurst / 0 Comments

Blog: The myths around quitting your job — People Matters

It’s no secret and not a political statement whatsoever, but people are leaving jobs at alarming rates. They’re just not feeling satisfied or fulfilled in the current situation. Some are leaving because they believe a better thing is over the horizon, even though they do not have that better thing locked down yet. Whatever the reason, the departure of key people in an organization can take its toll pretty rapidly. But there are a few things leaders can do to take the pressure off of those who remain.

Don’t be a cry baby.

Ok so I’m not trying to be mean here but far too often we gripe and complain when things don’t go our way. We whine that someone hurt our feelings. We blame others for what in reality we played a significant role in making happen.

Look none of us picked to live or lead through a challenging time like 2020 and 2021, but honestly we don’t have a choice. I’ve been known to give a good suck it up buttercup line every once in a while, and I know it seems harsh and uncaring to say it. But in reality we were built for such a time as this. The longer we spend complaining about what’s not going right, the harder it will be to see the great opportunities right in front of us. Mourn the loss but do it while you’re moving forward.

Make a decision already!

I’m not a huge fan of waffling. I like to eat waffles but can’t stand waffling in decision making. I know some decisions are huge and require time to think, pray and gather insight from friends and family. But if you’re truly honest with yourself, the longer you wait the harder the decision becomes. Additionally, in most cases we already have our minds made up. We know what we’re going to do, we’re just afraid to actually pull the trigger.

I’m going to be totally honest here. Indecision and momentum rarely coexist. You can’t move forward if you can’t make a decision. If you’re not able to make that hard call, then surround yourself with people who can help you make wise decisions. If you just can’t bring yourself to do the hard thing you know needs done, then bring someone on board in your life who can nudge you gently in the direction you need to go. NOTE: this nudging, no matter how gentle will feel like they’re beating the crap out of you but they really are most likely being very gentle. Just start small and move in the direction. It’s far easier to make corrective action when you’re moving than when you’re sitting still.

Keep your chin up.

This summer my son left for basic training in the United States Army. Before he left, I told him to keep his chin up and his nose clean. The nose clean business is basically don’t do anything stupid and stay out of trouble. But the chin up was very intentional. One of the things that happens a lot in life is that we let situations around us bring us down. When my son left he was sad to leave home and everything he knew. He was scared and didn’t know what to expect. Chin up son. Keep focusing ahead on what’s coming.

Friend, I know life likely isn’t what you planned or expected or even hoped for just a couple short years ago. I know things come at you at lightning speed and catch you off guard. I know that you have to make decisions that you really don’t want to make. I also know very well that other people’s decisions will impact you whether you like it or not. But keep your chin up because brighter days are coming.

It’s been a theme in life for me the past 15 years or so that something will catch me off guard and I’ll stumble a bit. The longer I look at the problem the worse I feel. The longer I think of the thing or person that caused hurt, the bigger and all consuming that problem becomes and the more it impacts everything else. But sometimes you just have to chin up and see beyond the present moment. When we lift our chins we can see past our feet and over the hill to the horizon. It’s there that we find hope and future. Don’t get stuck gazing at your toes! They won’t tell you what’s coming.

Keep moving. Keep looking ahead. Keep taking one small step after another. It’ll be alright.

I Am An Awful Person & So Are You

October 13, 2021 / Derrick Hurst / 0 Comments

Let’s be honest. We suck at life. I mean really. We go out of our way to prove ourselves right. We shut people out who disagree with us. We shut people down who do or say things that don’t line up with our views. When someone challenges us, we remove them from our circle of friends. We just flat suck at being human sometimes.

And to make matters worse – it’s not ok! No matter what someone tells you when you apologize, it is NOT ok! It never has been and never will be. If someone tells you they are sorry for doing something wrong or acting like a turd, don’t tell them it’s ok. They hurt you and hurting you isn’t ok.

A really big word in the life of the church is forgiveness. Forgiveness isn’t an excuse to do bad again. Forgiveness is not the license to give yourself a pass on bad behavior just because you’re not perfect. Forgiveness is the removal of our wrongs. Forgiveness is the wiping clean of the slate of our lives.

This month we started a 40 Day Journey called the Forgiving Challenge. Throughout these 40 days we’ll discover what forgiveness is, why it’s important, what we need forgiveness for, and what we’re supposed to do now that we’ve been forgiven. But it all starts with an honest assessment…

I am an awful person.

You can’t say those words about other people. When you hear me say those words you’re welcome to agree but the Bible is clear that we can’t go poking at someone else’s issues before we deal with our own.

Our first stop in this 40 day journey is to take an honest look in the mirror and seriously recognize our flaws and failures. Where have you gone wrong? What have you done that has offended someone else? What have you neglected to do that you said you would do? How have you let others down? Just pause for a minute to recognize that you’re not perfect. We all know that we’re not perfect but unfortunately we often act like we are.

Below is the message that kicked off this 40 Day journey of recognizing and practicing forgiveness. We’d love for you to walk with us through this challenge to give up on the failures and embrace a life of forgiveness.

What Is Discipleship?

August 26, 2021 / Derrick Hurst / 0 Comments

There’s a buzz word in some churches these days, but what is it and why is it important? The word is disciple or discipleship. This is something Jesus talks about a lot! And the bible is filled with pictures of what healthy disciples are and why we do this disciple thing. I’m a firm believer that if Jesus commands it, we should be about it. And I believe it’s pretty clear that Jesus commands those who follow him to be about this business of making disciples. See for yourself.

Going therefore, make disciples of all nations baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And behold, I will be with you until the end of the age. Matthew 28:19-20

So if Jesus commands it and we agree that what Jesus commands, we should be actually doing, do we have any idea what target we’re shooting at? We’re supposed to be making disciples but what even is a disciple?

The technical yet simple definition is a learner or follower of someone. The idea behind Biblical discipleship was that you would do everything your teacher (Rabbi) did. There was even and old saying that went something like may you be covered in the dust of your rabbi. That means that you are doing everything in such lock-step with your teacher that even their dust kicks up on you because you’re so closely linked to them.

The definition of discipleship that I’ve used for years now is the process of being transformed into the image of Christ for the sake of others. There’s nothing perfect about that definition so take it or leave it. But for me here’s how it breaks down:

Discipleship is a process. That means you won’t do discipleship in a book or a study or a class. It happens in the context of relationships over time. But the fact that it’s a process means that it’s also replicable and comes in cycles. The idea of a process also indicates that you’re not done, not now, not tomorrow not ever on this side of eternity. There’s always more distance to go in this journey toward being transformed into the image of Christ.

Transformed. I’m reminded of the Transformer movies when I think of this word. The yellow Camaro drives down the road then all of a sudden springs off the pavement and becomes a robot. I love the cinematography in those movies but what’s really cool is that even when the Transformers are in car form the robot is still there. I mean it doesn’t materialize into a robot from something else. It’s a robot turning into a car. I think a similar thing happens with us in the discipleship process. We were created in the image of God. That means inside us, albeit broken by sin, we are created in the image of God. Discipleship is the process of seeing the perfected image of God in Jesus and letting the Spirit work in and through us.

Into the image of Christ. We’re not going to become cars or robots or something silly like that. But we will become what we spend our time dwelling on. If we surround ourselves with brokenness, pain, anxiety, worry, fear and the like, then we’ll be filled with these very things. But disciples don’t surround themselves with these things. We will face them, but because of the image of Christ being revealed in us by the Holy Spirit they won’t define us. As we’re being transformed, parts of us are removed and the stuff of Jesus comes to the front. Over and over this process is enacted.

For the sake of others. Discipleship never has the self as its ultimate end. The goal of discipleship is that the world might know Jesus as Savior. As we are transformed into the image of Christ we take upon ourselves the mission of Christ. If our discipleship is focused on getting people to look like us, we’re doing it wrong. We are not the master in this thing. We are disciples leading others to Jesus. If we’re leading people to anyone other than Jesus, we’re doing it wrong and for the wrong reason. Salvation for those created in the image of God (all mankind) should be our focus.

Jesus said he came to seek and to save the lost. That means those who don’t yet know him as Savior are people he sought while here. These should be the very people we seek to love on in the name of Jesus.

Discipleship is massively important but understanding what it’s all about will keep us pointed in the right direction.

Are You A Good Friend?

August 6, 2021 / Derrick Hurst / 0 Comments

So I’ve been doing a little thinking lately (can you smell brain cells burning?). I’ve been thinking about friendships and what it takes to be a good friend. I really didn’t think about writing anything about this because, well to be honest, I don’t consider myself a super friendly person. It’s not that friendship isn’t important to me but it seems in life friendships come and go based on preference and time. But perhaps it’s because we don’t really understand how friendship works at its core.

I believe that many friendships are internally focused. We kind of ask the whole what’s in it for me kind of question when it comes to friendships. But that’s really not what friendships are about. Friendships are not about me but about the other person. If we’re asking the me questions then we have the wrong focus. And I fear that we have an improper focus in a lot of areas.

So if friendships aren’t about me then what are they about? The other person!

We enter friendships with questions like why don’t they do things how I want? or I don’t like it when they tell me that truth, even though it’s truth, because it hurts my feelings.

I recently ran across an article titled 7 Tips for Being a Good Friend. It had some pretty golden points in it. I’ve linked the article here, but below are the 30,000 foot view of those points. By all means follow the link to check out the full article.

Face to Face is Best – we live in a tech savvy world and often prefer text and social media to actual contact but when it comes to friendships in person is always the best option.
Establish Rhythms – when our friendships are not intentional they’ll easily dissolve into something unhealthy and eventually just fade away.
Ask Deeper Questions – friendships sometimes deal in some pretty surface level stuff, but a lasting friendship will go deeper to what’s behind the obvious.
Be Affirming – there’s nothing better than to have someone who’s opinion you value give you some affirming feedback. Give and receive this affirmation well.
Get Away Together – so this might be a little more challenging in some circles but taking a friend-cation might be a fun thing to do to deepen and grow your existing friendships.
Be Early Stay Late – one challenge the last 18 months has brought us is a lack of connection at church. So when it comes to worship, show up 15 minutes early and don’t bolt when it’s over. Instead stick around and strike up conversations with people you care about.
Dig Deeper with Discipleship – So for those of us who are Jesus followers taking a friendship to the next level will happen only when we bring Jesus into the middle of that friendship.

While this list is likely not exhaustive, nor will it fit all friendship circles, there is certainly some friendship gold in here for all of us. I have some friendships that don’t do all of these things, but the biggest part of friendship is being present in the moment.

Finally, if you and your friend don’t see eye to eye on something, it doesn’t mean you have to disown them. You can be friends with people with whom you don’t agree. Have some robust conversations. Engage in dialogue. Listen well. Be there for them. Most of all be kind it goes a long way in a world that’s void of kindness.

Dandelions don’t produce apples

May 14, 2021 / Derrick Hurst / 0 Comments

Ok so that title is a little odd but if you think about it for a second and give me a few paragraphs I’ll hopefully explain.

As a pastor I believe that many people think they can become more like Jesus if they’re close to Jesus people. We can go to church or even memorize a bible verse or two. But we don’t really want to go through any major shift in our way of thinking or living.

There’s a story in the Bible where Jesus says I am the vine, you are the branches. This is pretty powerful. He doesn’t say I am the vine, all you need to do is be close. We are the branches. We need to be connected to the vine. All too often we act like a dandelion planted by an apple tree and expect to be able to produce apples. Dandelions just don’t produce apples!

And if we’re comfortable being near Jesus but not changed by Him, then we will never bear fruit for him either. Jesus says that for us to bear fruit we need to be connected to His word. That means we need to dive into, drink deeply from the message of the Bible. It’s not enough to be comfortable with a little being enough. It’s not ok to think we’ve spent enough time with Jesus or to excuse our time with Jesus because we weren’t feeling into it.

If you’re feeling like a dandelion planted by an apple tree then it’s time to start drinking deeply of the water of life. Fill yourself with the things of God. Read his word. Worship in person if at all possible. Surround yourself with people who bring you peace.

I pray this message is helpful for you as you attempt to connect with the things of God that you might produce the fruits of God to reach the people of God.

Where Is God?

January 22, 2021 / Derrick Hurst / 0 Comments

There are times in all of our lives when we wonder Where did God go! Generally these moments are filled with anxiety, fear and worry. When things don’t go our way, we jump to blaming some higher power for disrupting the flow of our lives. When calamity strikes and panic sets in, we readily jump to the finger wagging and fist pumping toward God. So when bad things happen in our lives, where is God anyway?

This week we take a deeper look into Mark 13. This chapter of the Bible kind of address this where’s God question without actually asking the question. I’d encourage you to read the first portion of Mark 13 then take a listen. If you can’t listen now or that’s just not your thing, then keep reading the next couple of paragraphs.

So where’s God when bad stuff happens? The long and short of it is, this question comes from a misunderstanding of who God is to begin with. God is not some cosmic slot machine. He’s not some ridiculous magic genie who grants us our three wishes. He’s someone who wants to have a relationship with us. He wants to be with us in the good times and in the bad times.

If you’re only looking to blame God when bad stuff happens but not celebrate with him in the good things, then perhaps you have a misinformed view of who God is. If you want to find God in the bad things, then try to see him in the good ones first.

The more easily find God in the everyday moments of life, the more visible he'll be in the rough ones. Share on X

Here’s the message from Wednesday night. I’d love your comments and thoughts.

Old vs. New

January 5, 2021 / Derrick Hurst / 0 Comments

A New Year typically brings time for a reset. We start a year with goals and ideas and images of the new you that you’d like to see in the new year. But this new year I imagine is a little different. We all made plans for 2020 and most of them really didn’t pan out the way we had planned!

As we kick off 2021, we’re slowing down a bit here at Living Word and looking back to see forward. Our series in church as we kick off the new year is all about getting a fresh reset. Sometimes we reset because there’s a problem. Sometimes we reset because we just feel the need for a fresh perspective. Whatever the reason, doing a little reset is a very good way to start a brand new year.

The first stop in the reset series is to compare old verses new. There’s nothing wrong with the old. And you don’t want to move onto something new just because you are easily bored. But evaluating the benefits and drawbacks of where you’ve been will better prepare you for what adjustments you need to make moving forward.

Jesus did something similar in Mark 12. He took the people of his day back to the Old Testament so they could better see why he was there and what he was going to accomplish. Our first message in this series looks at the rules of the Old Testament then gives them a fresh perspective. Perhaps this was the original intent to start with and we missed the point all along? Perhaps the reset was needed to help bring deeper meaning to the truths they had known since long ago?

Whatever the reason, Jesus brought a hard reset to the way the first century followers of God saw life. And I think we’re due for that same reset today!

Tag: disciple (Page 19 of 31)

My Give a Crap Meter Is About To Break

How do we combat compassion fatigue?

Like this:

Healthy Relationships

Like this:

Do you have a healthy rhythm?

Like this: