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Tag: disciple (Page 16 of 29)

Like Talking To A Brick Wall!

September 16, 2022 / / 0 Comments

Parenting is often like herding cats or trying to wrestle a greased pig. NO I’m not calling your child a household, wild or farm animal! But as a parent it’s easy to find yourself beating your head against a wall at times because you’re just not understanding your child’s needs, desires and heart.

I subscribe to several email newsletters and admittedly most of them are junk. But from time to time, I’ll come across a nugget that is worth sharing. Sometimes that nugget is simply forwarded to a friend or colleague, but today that nugget is the foundation of this brick wall message. Your child can be a brick wall at times. But what if I told you that there was a way to understand the way your child hears allowing you to better communicate with him or her?

The newsletter is from a group called Parent Cue. Some of there stuff is really helpful. As a matter of fact, we have a set of books from them on the shelves at the church I serve as pastor. They operate under the assumption that there are stages in a child’s life that they call phases. These phases are based on age and do make some assumptions but largely these hold true across the board.

Here’s a quick breakdown of the phases and a very brief summary on how to communicate in each phase. The goal is to help you stop hitting your head against the wall!

Preschool Phase

This phase is exactly what you’d expect – the time when your child is before or in preschool. The markers of this phase are all things learning. A child in this phase is learning what he or she can do. They’re testing the boundaries of who loves them, what love is and trying to figure out what happiness and sadness mean. Everything is new to them so be a place where they can come for safety. Help them feel loved and let them feel free to show who they are and be emotional. My favorite phrase suck it up buttercup won’t work well in this phase!

Look I get it. In this phase your child will make mountains out of every obstacle. They’ll cry when something doesn’t go their way. But be patient and understanding. Help them see that tears are ok, sadness has its place and frustration is at times appropriate. But help them navigate these feelings with words. Show them how to feel sad, happy, angry, worried with words instead of explosions of emotional hurricanes.

Elementary School Phase

Yep another easy one. Actually, these phases aren’t really rocket science in their naming. And most of us who’ve been parents for a while will see the communication strategies for each phase and think this is silly talk. But when you’re in the midst of a crying tantrum or exploding teenage emotion box you might not have access to reasonable communication. It’s best to have these on standby at all times.

The elementary school phase deals with our children as they navigate the challenges of growing up. They’ve learned a lot already and like little sponges will continue to develop and soak up everything around them for these years. But for these years you’ll need to know that approval and attention mean the world! Now the challenge is who will give them the attention they need.

At first you will be their hero, but quickly in this phase you’ll see that their peers and even their bullies will holder a louder voice in their lives than you do. Your child in this phase will start to compare herself to her friends. He’ll want everything his buddies have. When talking to your child in this phase, use a calm and quieter voice. Be on their level…literally. Don’t stand over them and talk down to them. Instead crouch down to talk to them at their eye level. Another really important part of this phase, that I am not great at by the way, is positive reinforcement. Praise them for getting things right. Remember a lot of what they’re doing is somewhat new to them. The world is a hard place so be the safe haven they need! Be your child’s biggest cheerleader and let them know it!

Middle School Phase

In middle school your child will become a bit of a stranger to you. A friend once said that it’s in the teenage years that it appears as of aliens have taken over our children’s bodies. If you’ve never had a middle schooler, you’re in for a treat! And I don’t mean that as bad as it probably sounds either. Parenting a middle schooler is going to be a challenge but not impossible by any means. It’s a largely rewarding experience actually.

A middle schooler is all about testing boundaries and bucking authority, and since you’ve been the number one authority in their lives until now you’re the one they’re disagreeing with the most. But it’s not just you they are questioning. As a matter of fact they are second guessing everything in their lives, including where and with whom they fit in.

In this phase your child will likely not be as talkative as she once was. He won’t tell you everything that’s going on in life. You might have to coax some thoughts and conversations out of your child in this phase. This is a great phase for mentors to be introduced into your child’s life. Surround them with people who will bring a good, and if you’re a follower of Jesus, godly voice. You want to give them space but also be the safe place for them as well.

High School Phase

By the time your child hits this phase you’re either ready to throw in the towel or throw a party for yourself that you made it, or maybe both depending on the day. Your high schooler will be exerting a ton of independence, and if not they need to be. You don’t want your child to grow into an adult who can’t adult without you around. Cherish all of the moments you have with your child because this phase quickly transitions to the most emotional phase of parenting.

Your child here is looking for purpose, direction and trying to answer the age old question what am I going to do with the rest of my life. Don’t add pressure in this one. Don’t make your child be the high school star you weren’t or follow in your all American jock footsteps. Your child is not a younger version of you. They are their own person. A young man or woman who will become something potentially far different than you. And that’s perfectly fine!

A huge shift has happened in your parenting from the preschool days to now. They once needed someone to trust, and while that’s still true, the most important thing for them at this phase is that you trust them. Show them that you trust them. They need to know that you’re listening and that in spite of their dumb choices and at times inappropriate actions you still love them.

You will want to remind your child in this phase that while they are soon to transition away from home living they always have a place to call home. This is hugely important. When my wife and I moved to a our new to us home, we decided on a home that had enough space that our children could come back anytime they wanted/needed.

Ok so these are four of the key phases that cover much of the life you’ll experience as a parent. As your child is now back in school and navigating the struggles of friends, teachers, classes, homework, college prep, potty training, throwing sand in the sandbox or being bullied in the halls – your child needs your unconditional love, endless support, and verbal accolades. You only get one shot at this. Don’t miss even one opportunity to love on your child. They fly the nest before you even realize it.

Wrong way

September 15, 2022 / / 0 Comments

I can be a bit of a critic from time to time when it comes to the church. It’s not that I like to point out the wrong things or that I think the church is doing everything wrong. It’s kind of like working out. If we’re going to do it, we better do it right or else we’ll either hurt ourselves or someone else in the process. I think a lot of what happens in the church at its worst is hurting the view of the church in the world, it’s neglecting the community into which the church has been placed or at best it’s just a colossal waste of time.

There’s a word that is used in church settings a lot that is so misunderstood and misapplied. It’s the word discipleship or disciple. It is so aggravating when we, as church people, spin that word as if it’s something the pastor alone does or something that happens in a corporate worship service. This couldn’t be further from the truth.

Now before you get all freaked out, listen to what I’m actually saying. Discipleship is NOT about going to worship, but a disciple should desire to be part of a worshiping community and participate in the worship life of a local group, often called a church or congregation. And here’s where some of you are going to disagree with me, but I don’t even think discipleship can happen in the context of a large group gathering like a worship service. It has to be in smaller settings, after all this is even how Jesus himself did it. He constantly went away with the 12 or sat with his inner 3. He didn’t spend significant time in the thousands or even hundreds, but he got down into the dark corners of the individual lives. This is discipleship at its core.

I guess it really depends on what your view of discipleship is but from my perspective discipleship is about being transformed into the image of Christ for the sake of others. And if I’m being totally honest, I don’t see a ton of life transformation happening in the lives of those are involved sitting in the pews in public worship service on Sunday mornings. It happens as they engage in bible study, small groups, service to the community, fellowship activities, and faith sharing. The key to discipleship from a biblical perspective is to prepare one another for works of service in the kingdom of God.

Think about it for a minute. How do you disciple someone? Better yet who is the last person you discipled who started discipling someone else? I think for so many in the church today we’ve painted the picture of just bring them to church and pastor will disciple them. This goes directly against what Paul teaches. We’re to equip the saints for works of service not make them rely on the pastor to get the job done.

In my own ministry I’ve fallen into the trap of letting people rely on me to do all the work. It’s exhausting to say the very least. But when we put in the extra effort of making disciples and raising up leaders today, it will free us for a more powerful and effective ministry down the road. I guess what I’m trying to say in a shorter version is that it’s time to stop enabling church people to think the pastor is the one responsible for their faith.

Instead we need to encourage, equip, empower and release people to grow in faith within the community of believers. Encourage them to gather as pairs, triads, small groups, cell groups, home groups, community groups – whatever you call them! The follower of God cannot do the work of God in isolation from the people of God. That’s just not how it works.

So whether you’re a pastor or a church member or a person who’s just trying to find their way in what it means to believe in Jesus. Don’t go it alone. Don’t rely on a pastor to have all the answers. Gather with a few other people who can challenge you. From whom you can learn and grow. Who will help you see where you’re living in congruity with your words and where you’re living in a way inconsistent with what you say. Find people who’s opinions encourage you and at the same time people who are willing to challenge you. This, at its heart, is what the process of discipleship looks like as long as all of it is done with growing in Christ at its core.

There’s no silver bullet. No perfect way prescribed by the bible for how to do much of this. Just best practices of those who’ve gone before us who’ve done it far better than we are today in times that were far more challenging than we’re facing right now. So maybe it’s not that we’re doing it the wrong way but that there might be a better way after all.

What’s Your Story?

September 9, 2022 / / 0 Comments

There’s nothing like a good story! If you get the right story, it can suck you in and almost pull you through it. All good stories have a few things in common. They have relatable characters, a good plot, generally there’s some good tension that needs to be worked out, and in most cases good stories have some form of a happy ending or at least a good resolution.

So what’s your favorite story? Why is it your favorite? Do these common ideas for good stories apply to your favorite story?

As I see it there’s a pretty straightforward way defining a story. Here’s my definition: a story is the life or adventure of a character who wants something and is willing to overcome challenge(s) to get it.

I think our lives are a lot like story as well. So often we get bored with our lives. We get bored with our relationships or with our jobs or with our hobbies. Why? I think it’s because we have lost the art of story in our day to day lives. We’ve stopped seeing the plot of our lives develop and our character progress through the narrative of life.

Think about your life as a story for a minute. You are the main character. There are protagonists (those are the good guys) and there are antagonists (those are the bad ones). Some of the bad guys are really bad and some of the good guys are, well nominally good at best and eventually prove to be not in your corner the way you thought.

Our lives have some form of adventure as well, even if it’s not climbing mountains or repelling off of buildings or saving the world. We can have adventure in driving to work or walking the dog or making dinner. There is adventure in just about every aspect of our lives if we just open our eyes to see it.

Our life has a plot as well. Although admittedly this one is an area of our lives that we don’t focus on nearly enough. What’s the plot of your life story? Do you even know what you’re about or why you’re here? This is your plot. The why behind the what of your day to day life. Without a plot we grow tired and wear out quickly. We burn out. We give up. We walk away. Not knowing our plot or having the wrong plot, i.e. life story, is what causes us to drift and lose focus on important relationships or even lose our jobs. The lack of plot, in my mind, is a huge factor in much of the depression we see in our world and honestly a significant factor in divorces, college drop outs and the inability to hold a steady carrier.

Think about marriage for a second. Marriage has a plot. But for many couples with children, those kiddos are the plot of their life. This is why so many couples have trouble when they become empty nesters. The kids were the plot to their story, and with no children around they seemingly have no plot. So little marriage tip – your children are not the point of your marriage. A product of it to be certain but they are not the point of it. The sooner you figure that one out the healthier your marriage will actually be.

Our faith lives are the same way. If our lives as followers of Jesus are only about the Sunday morning church attendance gig, then we’re doing it wrong. Then we’re going to burn out on “doing church.” We’re going to wander to the next church around the corner when this one doesn’t give us what we want. And quick hint…that new church won’t cut it forever either. That is until you figure out your story. Faith is about far more than going to church or giving an offering or singing a song or which book we use in worship. Faith is about story. It’s about your story and God’s story colliding in a fantastic adventure.

A life of faith is the adventure of a character who’s willing to overcome adversity to achieve something. This was what drove Jesus to do what he did for us. This is what took him to the cross and out of the grave. It was the story of salvation. Our story isn’t one of salvation. It’s the story of discipleship. This is what Jesus told us to do and what we’re supposed to be about daily.

Living a life of faith is about growing in our love for Jesus. It’s realizing every day just how loved we are by the one who created all things. It’s the story of loving one another and serving one another and being with one another. It’s about letting the image of Christ come to light in all we do.

So I guess now is the best time to start living that story!

Is it time for a facelift?

August 5, 2022 / / 0 Comments

There are things in our lives that we do over and over without much thought. They become so routine that they end up losing meaning over time. This happens in just about every area of life and every industry. The benefit of larger industries is that they typically will staff people to keep them forward thinking, but not always.

One of my many jobs was in the car sales world. That is an industry that has needed a facelift for along time in how business was done. When I entered the sales floor area, the strategy was sell a car. The approach was by any means necessary – ok within some realm of reason. Through my years in that world, we underwent an intention facelift to how we did what we did. Our what and why did not change, but our how needed to change with the times because we quickly realized the methods no longer were effective nor efficient to accomplish our purpose.

Another area that contains practices that need a bit of a facelift are found in the church. Now I’m not getting into a war on worship or bible version or preaching style but something hopefully a lot less controversial. I’m talking about small groups. I have a love-hate relationship with these little monsters.

Small groups are wonderful additions to the life of a church to be certain! But there is always a danger that they become stagnant, slow the mission, and even cause division.

A typical small group

The most typical way a small group happens in most churches today is that a group of people who believe the same thing gather together to have a bible study. They’ll ask some opening questions about life. But essentially it’s time to dive into the bible. They’ll close with a prayer and head home. Most of the small group is generally lead by one person, who normally is the who plays the role of host. But when the group heads home, there isn’t much left to do until they gather again in a week or potentially two.

An alternative to the normal

I’ve been told that I do things a little different and to me that’s just fine. The how isn’t (nor has it ever been) set in stone to my knowledge. The what and the why are significantly more rigid but the how in my understanding should be more flexible.

I have taken the approach with small groups that they can’t be just a small version of what we do on Sunday morning. I mean one person talks. The group listens. We sing. Pray. Then everyone goes home to consider what this means. Then come back next week. It can’t be a wash, rinse, and repeat scenario!

I believe there’s a new direction small groups need to take in our shifting cultural landscape. The approach is to give these groups a purpose beyond themselves. I challenge small groups to have four key components: Community, Prayer, Biblical Equipping, Mission. Each of these four keys is critical to keep the group from being a Jesus social club. And if you’ve never been in a small group that has these four elements, I’m just going to say you’re missing out.

Community isn’t really all that earth shattering. We were created to be in community. God was first disappointed that Adam was alone so he created a community for him. We are designed to live in community with one another. The way we express community in our small group is to eat a meal together. Each meal is designed to let all participants bring something to share. The point isn’t the food really. It’s the community that is established over the meal. We let our defenses down when we eat together. We ask questions and catch up on life. It’s a wonderful way to love our neighbors as ourselves as well, because as we share life together we learn how we can serve one another.

Prayer isn’t really just the whole before a meal and for the sick people kind of prayer. It’s a shared experience of worship. We share the praying responsibility. Each person adding to the prayer as they see fit. Prayer is a form of worship. This is the focus of this time of prayer to focus our lives around the provision and providence of God.

Biblical Equipping is like Bible study on steroids. It’s not just a quick this is what the Bible says kind of thing. It’s looking at a section of the bible and inviting everyone to be part of the discussion. What did you hear? What stands out at you? Where else have you heard this same things in the Bible? If we applied this what would be different? There are a ton of questions we can ask of any Bible section to let the text equip us for works of service and ministry. Which if you’re keeping score here is the task of the church! There is always an application, rubber meets the road kind of approach in the Biblical equipping portion.

Mission is where we rarely get in our typical small groups, but it is absolutely essential! Serve somewhere together. It’s super easy. We’ve cleaned up a neighborhood, prayer walked, folded bulletins at church, set up for an event, provided food to police and fire, adopted a family at Christmas time. The sky is the limit here. The idea is simple. Do something with the faith you claim to have in your Biblical Equipping portion.

The key to all of this is just because it worked 40 years ago doesn’t mean it will work today. Churches talk about reaching new people, well what a better way than through an intentional time of equipping one another for works of service using the Bible!

Just like the car dealership didn’t change its focus when we changed our sale process, so also the church doesn’t change its focus when we shift our how to a new approach. Still selling cars just in a different way. Still growing in Christ together just using a different approach.

Would The REAL Men Please Stand Up

June 8, 2022 / / 0 Comments

I’m going to not apologize for what follows. I’m not going to apologize because this is my honest assessment of where we are in our world. I’m not going to apologize because I have the right to my opinion just like you have the right to yours. If you don’t agree, that’s totally fine. You’re welcome to form your opinions or reach out to have a robust conversation with me about my personal beliefs and thoughts.

Let’s set the stage. I believe that there are two kinds of people in this world: men and women. These are, in my mind, determined by the genetic make up of the individual. So for all of you science loving people out there, we’ll let science take the driver’s seat on this one. Males have a unique make up of genetic material, namely an “x” and a “y” chromosome that determine the male genetic make up. The female, on the other hand, is made up from two “x” chromosomes. There are many more things that go into the differences between males and females, not to mention the basic plumbing matters, but we’ll let you figure those out in your health classes.

So if there are two genders, namely male and female, how are these two genders to operate in an advanced society like the one in which we live?

This post will deal with the male gender and how we, as men, are to live in the world today. We’ll address the ladies in an upcoming post. So would the real men please stand up!

There are three basic stages of what it means to be a person of the male gender in this world. We’ll call them male-hood, boy-hood and man-hood. Let’s start with male-hood.

The first stage of being someone of this particular gender is really nothing we do. It’s something that is determined for us before we’re even born. It’s the genetic make up of the individual in their mother’s womb. This is the whole “XY” thing I referred to earlier. It deals with the plumbing and all the reproductive details that make a male able to provide the necessary contribution to pregnancy. So male hood isn’t something you do, it’s a marker of who you are as a…dude!

The second stage we’ll call boy-hood. This one is the fun stage for many of us. It deals with the boys and their toys mentality. It’s when we can take anything and make it into a battle field or construction site or weapon. It’s about making noises with our cars and jet engine sounds to match our GI Joe sets. Boy-hood is marked by selfishness however. Most of the time, as boys, we are solely focused on what we want. We want our toys. We want our food at a certain time. We want our new gadgets, new cars, new anything really. We want the biggest, loudest, flashiest things in life. We want the broken things that we can fix to give us a sense of accomplishment. Boys have little to no regard for responsibility. We live at home with no real cares in this world. Boy-hood isn’t marked by age alone because to be quite frank – I know many boys in the world today who happen to be of the age that they should be men but they care too much for themselves to really be called men.

The third stage here is what we call man-hood. This is when a boy realizes that life doesn’t revolve around him. It’s when he begins to put the needs of others before his own. It’s when he realizes that his girlfriend, or wife, is of greater importance than his car, job, home or hobbies. Being a man means we have to be willing to lose a toy or two if it means protecting and providing for those around us.

You see the problem as I see it is that men stopped caring about being men. Many men have become boys again and left their children and wives to handle what they were meant to handle. Men have stopped taking the lead in society, schools and politics. We’ve let the masses tell us what to do. We’ve forced our wives to deal with matters they are fully capable of dealing with but that they shouldn’t have to mess with at all! Ladies this is not a knock on you. You can do anything. I firmly believe that! But I also personally believe that men, if they’re really men and not boys dressing up as men, should be willing to do everything possible to make your lives easier.

In short men we are the reason our society is where it is. We are the reason chaos has enveloped our world. We’re to blame because we stopped standing up for what’s right. We stopped taking responsibility for our actions. We let the world tell us who we could be and what we were allowed to say. Men it’s time to stand up. Hold a door for a lady, not because she can’t hold it herself but because you value that woman as a part of society that deserves to have a door held for her. Men be willing to give up a little something to let those around you know they are valued and loved and cared for in this world. It’s your job and mine to do the hard things so those around us can thrive. Enough of this merely surviving life crap. It’s time to make sure those around us thrive in life, and it starts by putting our childish ways behind us and being the men we were called to be.

Man up guys! Now is the time.

Moving The Sticks

June 7, 2022 / / 0 Comments

I’m one of those people who thinks in pictures. So you say cookie and I picture a homemade chocolate chip cookie. You say truck and I picture the truck I currently drive, no matter what exact truck you’re referring to! Knowing how my mind works, I thought I’d share some things to consider when we talk about discipleship and why we do it.

The image in my head…

I love football. Not the whole national, professional kind of football but what I consider the good old college kind of hard hitting, forcing the ball down the field kind of football. There are a few things about football that just about everyone knows. There are lines that mark what is in bounds and what is out of bounds. There is a goal line. There are hash marks to help position the ball on the field and to help each team know how far they need to go in order to move the sticks. This is what some people call getting a first down. If you’re not a football fan, I’m sorry this illustration will likely be lost on you.

How do we move the sticks in the Christian church? Now I’m not talking about the institutional church that revolves around a building with a steeple and an hour or so once a week. The church to which I’m referring consists of the people who together have one confession of faith. The church is less the thing we do and more the people we are. It is less a time or space and more an act of gathering and doing life together.

With this understanding of church, how do we move the sticks? How do we know when we’re doing what we’re called to do? The illustration of moving the sticks is about moving forward and going in the right direction. How do we know if the church is moving in the right direction? And making any kind of positive progress while doing it?

Simply put the church that moves in the right direction will be making disciples. They will have proper worship and will do the things that are marks of the church. But the forward momentum of the church isn’t measured in worship, attendance, giving, or many of the butts in the seats kind of measures we typically use. According to the Bible, the forward momentum of the church is measured by how disciples are made.

This is why discipleship is so very important in the life of the church. If churches are not making disciples, then they’re not doing the one thing Jesus told us to be doing. I think we stop making disciples because we have a hard time measuring what a disciple is. We don’t have a 12 step program for making disciples. So we tend to measure things that we can measure like worship attendance and how strictly one adheres to a set standard of tradition. But moving the sticks as a church, so to speak, happens when we help people move from mere observers in their faith lives to men and women who own their faith.

Moving the sticks for the church isn’t about growing a local church or even enlarging the church budget, but it’s about working with men and women who believe in Jesus. It’s about helping them see the depth and breadth and width of Jesus’ love for them in their everyday lives.

The end goal stays the same, living in eternity with Jesus. But the markers along the road as we get there are the making of disciples. We took time to define what a disciple is here. And how disciples gather here. One of the keys to achieving anything is knowing you’re on the right track. And that happens best by checking your progress against some form of measuring stick. As institutional churches live out their calling of teaching and preaching the truth of Jesus, administering the sacraments rightly and gathering for public worship that glorifies God, we are called to do something bigger and more impactful for the men and women who gather in our buildings.

Discipleship isn’t a fad or a good idea. It’s actually what God commanded in the Bible. Jesus even gives us a great picture of what discipleship looks like. Discipleship is not a program that we funnel everyone through. We’ll discuss the fallacy of discipleship funnel in a future post, but for now this is not a time to create a program or add a staff person. Discipleship is critical because it’s the way Jesus grew His ministry. It’s critical because He commanded it. It’s critical because it’s the way Jesus continues to bless highly.

Long and short, the best way to move the sticks and measure our advancement as churches in the world isn’t found in more people in worship or larger budgets or additional programs. The way we move the sticks is by making disciples who make disciples.

Two Key Parts To Get Started With Discipleship

May 17, 2022 / / 0 Comments

The church world has this word that we use a lot but have a hard time characterizing or defining. The word to which I’m referring is discipleship. The key for me here is a good definition which I’ll give you in a minute, in addition to a couple simple steps. Then over the next several weeks, we’ll unpack a little more about discipleship and what it looks like in the real world. So the definition is pretty important and after studying the Bible it became super clear to me. You don’t have to use my definition, but you need some sort of definition. So here’s mine:

Discipleship is the process of being transformed into the image of Christ for the sake of others.

There are some loaded terms and ideas in this definition that we’re honestly not going to get to in this post, but the key for us today is the transformed and for others parts of the definition. So let’s get started!

Transformation is something far bigger than that cool sci-fi show where alien robots become cars and airplanes. As a matter of fact the outside change isn’t really the point of our transformation at all. The outer transformation will happen in time, but we need to get the inside in the right place first.

How do we transform in this way then?

The bible tells us that we are transformed by the renewing of our minds in Christ Jesus. That means quite simply that we need to be consuming, in large quantities and on a regular basis, the things that Jesus said and did. Simply put we need a regular and frequent diet of time in the Bible. The Spirit of God will do the work of transformation. That’s not up to us. The reading of and spending time in the Bible is the part we can do. This is step one. And you cannot get these out of order!

Read your bible. I know that sounds like something a pastor would typically say. I get it and to be honest you probably expect something like this. But the point is, the only power to work any kind of transformation is found in the things that Jesus taught and did. And the only place where we get that in its purest form is in the Bible. So spend time in your Bible. Read the gospels to get a good handle on who Jesus was, what he did, and what difference he made for his immediate followers.

My personal recommendation is to start with the book of John. In my mind, it’s the simplest of the gospels and contains more of a storied approach to Jesus’ life. Take a chapter a day. Just read it. Read it word for word even if you’ve read it before a thousand times! Just read it. If you need to get a bigger picture when reading, go through a few chapters a day and then repeat that the next day. The key is the Bible and being intentional about your time in the Bible.

Invite someone else to join you. There’s a rule of thumb that I use in my life that says if something is important or special to you, you’re going to want others to be a part of that or know about it. We get a new job and we want our friends to know. We make a good dinner and we want all of social media to see it. (Ok small jab at those who post constant pictures of their food). But matters of faith are absolutely no different. You and I need to spend time working through our Bibles, and it’s true we can do that alone. But the second critical step that just can’t be short cut is to invite a couple people to come along with you.

It goes something like this. You do your readings and they do theirs. Then once a week you get together to talk about what you read. It’s like a mini-small-group. I call them triads. You see in my mind the best way to go through this transformation process is for you to invite someone and have that person bring a friend too. The more you share it the more you own it. This serves a couple different purposes.

First it gives ownership. When you invite someone you really tend to stand behind it. The second reason is that you have built in accountability. When someone else is doing something with you, then you’re more likely to actually do your part.

These are not one and done kind of steps. They need to be done continually until they become part of your life. The key is to keep sharing this with one or two people then let them do the same. This process of being transformed into Christ’s image could make a massive impact on your home, neighborhood, work, friend circle and even your community as more and more of you grow in the image of Christ through a guided time in God’s word.

The point is to start in the word and stay in the word together. The word alone has the power to transform lives. Events don’t change lives. Books written by men don’t change lives. Good feels from a good song don’t change lives. Honestly your time in worship doesn’t change your life. God alone through his word changes lives all the time. So how about it? Grab a friend. Challenge each other to a chapter of John and have them bring a friend along for the journey. Then sit and chat once a week over coffee, a phone call or a zoom meeting, and see how God is transforming each of you. We’ll talk next time about what one of those weekly check ins looks like but for now call a friend and open that bible!

Things Aren’t Always As They Seem

April 11, 2022 / / 0 Comments

Growing up in the church world I was taught about good and bad, God and Satan, heaven and hell. We even had some of those not so greatly illustrated kids books about these topics. One image that always stuck out at me was the one of the devil, Satan. I don’t know about you but growing up I always thought of the devil as being red with horns and a pitchfork. I remember thinking why would anyone want to follow after something that told you it was going to hurt you? Why would anyone want that?

But over time I dug into the Bible for myself and started to realize that the kid’s version of these images wasn’t exactly correct. You see if they were, then very few people who really follow something like that. As a matter of fact, I started to realize that the devil’s goal might not be what I always thought it was either.

If you’re anything like me, you probably have had this notion that Satan wants us to worship him. Like he’s building a fan club or something. But what if that wasn’t his goal? What if his goal was much simpler than that? What if he didn’t care about our allegiance to him at all? What if I told you that we all have a little Satan worship in us?

Now for those of you died in the wool, church going types, you’re likely shaking your head thinking I’m off my rocker. And while I might be a little nutty, if you stick with me for a few minutes I’ll explain my thought process here. You see I don’t really think Satan cares who we follow or to whom we pledge our allegiance as long as it’s not Jesus. In other words, Satan is just trying to distract us from the only way to salvation. He hates all things Jesus so much that he’ll be glad if we follow anyone, anything as long as it’s not Jesus.

Still not convinced? Ok so think about the last time you sat down to read your bible or do a little quiet time in prayer. What happened? Did you get distracted? Did you think about the plans for the day? Or maybe where you want to go on vacation this summer? What about that noise you don’t remember hearing before that you just can’t seem to ignore? What about that funny feeling in your stomach? Are you hungry? Why are you so tired?

Am I onto something here? We sit down to do anything that draws our heart closer to Jesus and all hell breaks loose in our minds. We can’t stay focus for anything. And that’s just what Satan wants. He’s no idiot. Actually, he’s pretty darn smart. He knows that Jesus is the only way. He knows there’s no plan B when it comes to salvation. So all he has to do is to get us to look the other way. Anything else is fine as long as it’s not Jesus.

The goal then is to make us sit idly by and do nothing. He wants us to just let the world spin around us and keep us so focused on the pace of life, the hurry in our schedules, our wants, our desires, our passions, our…anything. As long as we’re not focused on Jesus. As long as we’re just sitting in neutral in life, Satan wins. Neutral is no good. Neutral means we’re not committed. Neutral makes us just as easily moved away from Jesus as toward him. The Bible even tells us to be hot for him or cold against him but none of this lukewarm, neutral, stuff. Neutral gets us in a really bad way in Christian life.

So the long and short is to make a decision right here, right now. Whom will you follow? Will it be Jesus? Or will it be anything else? There’s only one way and his name is Jesus. Nothing else will work. Nothing else will do. Nothing else will even come close.

I love the verse from Joshua 24 that says choose this day whom you will serve. How about it? Whom are you going to serve? God chose you in Jesus before the foundations of the world. Today he asks you to follow his lead and choose him.

So What Should I Pray For?

March 29, 2022 / / 0 Comments

A week or so ago, I wrote a post that said don’t just pray but instead just pray! And I know reading that line might be confusing if you don’t read it in context, so I’ll try to explain for those of you who didn’t read the post. The idea is simple actually. How often is prayer thrown in as a last resort? That’s the idea behind don’t just pray. It’s like we can’t figure it out on our own so we may as well pray because it won’t hurt anything.

That is totally different than knowing that all you can do is pray and starting out that way from the beginning. That’s what I refer to as instead just pray. It means, start from the position that God is the only way not the last resort. Start form the place of reliance on Him instead of DIY-ing it through life.

If just throwing prayer in as a last resort isn’t the best way to handle things, then what things should I pray for? The short answer is everything! The Bible says to pray without ceasing. Pray through the good times and the bad. Pray in moments of plenty and times of want. Pray with you’re feeling lost and alone, but also when you’re experiencing what being loved and cared for feels like. If you read no more than these couple words, know that it is clear prayer is a vital part of the Christian life and we should do it far more often and far more intentionally than we currently do!

But for those of you who want to go a little deeper and get a little more depth into prayer, let’s keep going. Sure we are to pray for everything but really what kinds of things? And how in the world do you do it? These are questions that I hear a lot! I know some people who pray for hours every morning in the dark corner of their kitchen or living room before anyone gets up. This was how my grandpa did things. But I also know some people who are pretty darn ADHD with their prayer life, hello that’s me! We have a hard time just staying focused on prayer while we’re reading one let alone pray for hours in a dark room.

Pray the little things.

One of the things in life that makes me chuckle but also shake my head is when people talk about prayer as if God doesn’t really care about the little things. I know a guy who prays before he leaves his home that he gets a close parking space at the grocery. For a while I thought that was absolutely ridiculous. I mean really? Does God need to worry about where you park?

But then it hit me. I obviously had a wrong view of God. If I truly believed that God was a loving father, then why wouldn’t he want to know about my silly wants? I loved hearing my children tell me about their silly desires when the were kids. As a matter of fact now that they’re growing up, I find myself missing these conversations more and more. I want to know what they’re thinking and what’s going on in their day. I believe God has the same feeling toward us. He wants to know what’s going on. So tell him the little things. Share your frustration with your bad hair day, or your realization that you have no hair kind of day. Share your happiness of the new personal record in weight lifting or speed in running.

God cares about the little things. Share those. He knows them already but just like a good dad wants to hear what’s going in their children’s lives, so also your Heavenly Father wants to hear from you too!

Don’t forget the BIG things.

The other end of the spectrum is that person who doesn’t feel they can ask God for the big thing in life because they’re not good enough or haven’t earned the right to ask God for something of that magnitude. But God wants us to bring the big, huge, gigantic requests before him as well!

I am not going to say that God gets bored freeing up front row parking spaces but come on he’s the creator of the universe. We can probably give him a little more than give me a better hair day tomorrow! Test God with your prayers a little. Ok before you get all weirded out by that statement, it’s not testing to see if he’s real. It’s taking what he’s given you and promised to you and testing his promises. God won’t disappoint. He will, as it says in Malachi 3, open the floodgates of blessing. While that passage refers specifically to bringing our offerings to God, I really think it applies here to our prayers as well. Test God in his promises.

I had a professor once say that prayer is rubbing God’s promises back in his ears. Not that God needs reminding but that we need to be reminded of God’s faithfulness. We need to be reminded of the ways God has already answered us in the past and how he’s still present with us today.

So here’s a question for you to ponder. What are you praying that you actually need God to answer? Understand what I’m asking. What are you praying for that God alone can answer? Are you praying prayers small enough that if you wait long enough, drive around the parking lot enough times, you can find the answer? Or is the prayer of your heart today something that God alone is able to answer?

I think so often we either don’t pray big prayers because we don’t think we can or because we don’t even think that big. But God is a big God. He created all of the world and everything in it, I’m sure he can handle whatever our tiny little brains can dream up. Pray the earth melting, kingdom exploding kind of prayers. Pray for healing when the doctors say it’s not possible. Pray for some miraculous explosion of God’s goodness and mercy to be rained down on you today. Pray something so big that you can’t mistake it is actually God answering when it actually happens.

Ok so there you have it, pray for the bad hair days and the give my bald head new hair moments. Pray for the rain to water the ground and for God to raise up a power house of light and grace in your community. Pray the little things that no one else cares about, but also pray those things that God alone is able to pull off.

In short – pray because it’s more the one to whom you pray than the thing for which you pray.

Life Is About Perspective

March 23, 2022 / / 0 Comments

Every situation in life comes with a choice of how we’re going to approach it. Are we going to try to find a problem in every situation, or are we going to be part of a solution? I read an article recently where the author said it has to be exhausting to always be looking for a problem in the world. Pray for those people. I never really thought of that before, but it’s so very true! And it reminds me of something I learned as a child and that we teach regularly.

If all we do is search for something wrong, I can guarantee you’ll be able to find it. But I can also guarantee that you’ll be a much less joyful person in the process. It seems that we live in a world where people are riddled with this desire to find a problem. We listen to the news to pick apart the facts that are presented. We scroll through our social media feeds to find something written that doesn’t line up with what we think, believe, or how we live. We look at people and judge their actions or clothing or speaking just to find something wrong with them.

Does it make us feel better? Do we do this in an effort to build ourselves up by using the pieces of someone else’s life that we smashed?

If you have to smash someone else’s life in an effort to make yourself look or feel better, then you my friend not only have a problem but frankly are a problem. There’s a principle that we teach in the church that’s based on one of the commands of God in the Old Testament. Put the best construction on everything.

Do you do that? Do you read someone’s social, listen to them speaking, watch them walking, evaluate their clothing situation and put the best construction on them? Or do we jump to conclusions and judge based on what our preconceived opinion sees and hears?

Look, I get it. Not everyone is like you. And you aren’t going to agree with everyone. But there are some things that you can just let go. You don’t have to be the social media troll that pipes up on everything you don’t agree with just to raise trouble.

Now as in everything in life, there are exceptions to this just keep quiet rule. There are times when it is very beneficial and even necessary to say something. If someone is living a life that is dangerous, incongruent with their expressed belief, or just out of the norm for them. These can be indicators that something is drastically wrong. But make sure to check your heart and your motives before you say something. Carefully evaluate your intentions. Are you doing this for you or for them? Is your intent to gain understanding of what’s going on in their life or to infuse their life with your opinion?

If we truly pause long enough to evaluate our intentions, then it’s very likely most of the things we were going to say are not necessary or even beneficial. So it’s really all about perspective. Are you looking at something from your vantage point and trying to make someone else see your side of things? Or are you selflessly entering a conversation with no agenda other than to humbly learn someone else’s point of view? When you figure this out, you’ll soon see what it means to put the best construction on everything.

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