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Tag: decision

Am I Done?

July 11, 2023 / / 1 Comment

Ok…so it’s pretty common knowledge that I am a pastor. And it’s also probably not a secret that this is all I really know how to do – be a pastor that is. Something that’s no secret but maybe not known by everyone is that I recently received a call to serve as pastor of another church in a suburb of Detroit.

I understand that the idea of receiving a call isn’t a normal concept so here’s a quick explanation. In the corporate world there are head hunters who pretty much go around seeking people perfect for the opening in a specific company. They have a list of skills and items that need done and their job is to find the right person to get those jobs done.

Well in a call it’s kind of like that but not…all at the same time. In church world, at least in the church body to which I belong, when a church is in need of a pastor they gather a team of people to evaluate the church’s needs, strengths, and weaknesses. Then they match that with pastors around the church body who have interests and skills where the church has needs. And they extend an offer for that position to the appropriate candidate.

Where this is different than a typical corporate head hunter though is that we believe this position is really coming from God through the local church. So when a church needs a pastor they should be spending considerable time praying through the options available to them and extending a call based on where they feel God leading them to go.

This brings me to the title for this post – am I done? This is the question the pastor must ask when he receives a call to a new location. And this is the very question I’ve been wresting with for the past couple of weeks.

Have I taken the church I’m serving as far as I am able to take them? Am I hindering their forward momentum? Am I preventing them from growing both wider in their reach and deeper in their faith? Have I outstayed my welcome? Ok not really welcome but outstayed my capacity for leadership and discipling of the people.

This is a hard question to be certain. And the really hard part is removing emotions from the mix. It would be easy to say I have friends here so I’m not going anywhere. But that’s not really what the call is about. Actually that’s what makes the call of a pastor different from the hiring of a manger or employee. We don’t, or shouldn’t, stay or go because of friends or extended family. Sure we take others into consideration, but the decision is based on is God done with me here.

Throughout this process I’ve spent far more time listening than talking. I’ve asked far more questions of myself, the people around me, and my family than I have provided answers. I’ve called on men and women with whom I’ve surrounded myself in an effort to hear God’s voice through the wise counsel around me.

It’s not an easy process! Considering and praying through a call does NOT mean anything negative about the people I work with and serve daily. It just means that I need to be open to the possibility that God has something else in mind…something better for His kingdom. For me that’s the whole point of this discernment process. Is God done with me here? What is the best option for His Kingdom?

So for now we wrestle with the question am I done here. I now wait in prayer that God provides a clear answer and the comfort and confidence to boldly step in whichever direction he has for me to step.

A Fork In The Road

March 4, 2022 / / 0 Comments

I’m not sure where the imagery actually came from. I don’t know who thought of likening a point in life where you have two compelling roads a fork in a road. It just gives me the image of a literal fork in a literal road. I feel like a kid watching the road runner cartoons when I think of this. The road is always colorful and windy and the fork is a huge metal fork that has plunged deep into the road obstructing the traffic flow.

How do you handle hard decisions?

In life we all have decisions. Actually we make decisions on the daily. What clothes do I wear? Which way do I go to get to work today? Freeway or back roads? I’m a backroads all the way kind of guy! Poptart or oatmeal for breakfast? Shower at night or in the morning? Hair up or hair down for those of you with enough hard to have to decide that one. The list goes on forever! Those are seemingly no brainer decisions. We make those decisions often without much thought at all.

But what about big choices? Life altering choices?

Take for instance, you have a job you enjoy. You love the work you do and the people with whom you work. You feel like this is a good fit. You’ve learned the ins and the outs of the position and things are getting done! Higher than average profit margins are being experienced. The business is growing in ways you couldn’t even imagine. But then out of nowhere you get word that another company is seeking your skills, talents and abilities. What do you do?

This is a pretty common thing these days. As a matter of fact, a friend just went through this same situation no too long ago. Both positions are good options. Both are in your wheelhouse. Both are places where you can make an impact. Both are jobs you can do well. Both are things you can see yourself doing. So…what do you do?

I’ll be honest, I am probably one the last people to give any advice on discernment. I typically have two approaches to big decisions, and they don’t go together at all. Sometimes when I have a decision to make I just jump right in. I make a move that feels most right and don’t often look back. I move into something with the confidence that either I made the right decision or that God will fix what I messed up. The other method is to second guess every step in the process. I play the “what if” game and wonder if God is in the current place or if God is in the new place.

So how do you decide? How do you know which way to go? How do you decide if you’re supposed to stay or if you’re supposed to go?

First of all pray. I know that sounds a tad cliche and we all say we’re going to pray but I mean really pray. You don’t have to get down on your hands and knees and close your eyes to pray either. You can pray while you’re at the coffee shop. You can pray at Home Depot while you’re walking around shopping. You can pray while you’re driving to or from work. You can pray while you’re pumping gas, and not just because prices are so high either! The point is to pray that God would guide your path and how you which way to go.

Second talk to people who you respect. Ask people their opinion. Ask them to share their honest feedback with you. But if you ask, you can’t disagree with them. You don’t have to take their advice but you can’t openly disagree with them. Ask them what they see in the situation. Ask them what they think you should do. Ask them to pray for you as well.

Included in this is talking to your family. Talk to your spouse, children, parents, siblings whoever is in your close inner circle – you need to talk to those people. God put them there for a reason, so use that relationship to help guide you.

And to make this simple, we’ll end with step three. Finally, just move. Realize that you can’t mess up God’s plan. You’re just not that good. You’re not strong enough, smart enough, powerful enough to be able to mess up what God has planned for you. Make your move with confidence and watch how God makes provision for you as you move. This move doesn’t have to be the day you get the job offer. It won’t happen right away, but eventually you have to move. Sooner rather than later you’ll have to move for your own sanity and others! And the benefits of the move won’t present themselves right away. Sometimes those blessings are months, even years in the future. But God will be in the change because you didn’t blindside him with your decision.

So there’s a fork in your road, what are you going to do with it?

The Great Resignation

November 30, 2021 / / 0 Comments
Blog: The myths around quitting your job — People Matters

It’s no secret and not a political statement whatsoever, but people are leaving jobs at alarming rates. They’re just not feeling satisfied or fulfilled in the current situation. Some are leaving because they believe a better thing is over the horizon, even though they do not have that better thing locked down yet. Whatever the reason, the departure of key people in an organization can take its toll pretty rapidly. But there are a few things leaders can do to take the pressure off of those who remain.

Don’t be a cry baby.

Ok so I’m not trying to be mean here but far too often we gripe and complain when things don’t go our way. We whine that someone hurt our feelings. We blame others for what in reality we played a significant role in making happen.

Look none of us picked to live or lead through a challenging time like 2020 and 2021, but honestly we don’t have a choice. I’ve been known to give a good suck it up buttercup line every once in a while, and I know it seems harsh and uncaring to say it. But in reality we were built for such a time as this. The longer we spend complaining about what’s not going right, the harder it will be to see the great opportunities right in front of us. Mourn the loss but do it while you’re moving forward.

Make a decision already!

I’m not a huge fan of waffling. I like to eat waffles but can’t stand waffling in decision making. I know some decisions are huge and require time to think, pray and gather insight from friends and family. But if you’re truly honest with yourself, the longer you wait the harder the decision becomes. Additionally, in most cases we already have our minds made up. We know what we’re going to do, we’re just afraid to actually pull the trigger.

I’m going to be totally honest here. Indecision and momentum rarely coexist. You can’t move forward if you can’t make a decision. If you’re not able to make that hard call, then surround yourself with people who can help you make wise decisions. If you just can’t bring yourself to do the hard thing you know needs done, then bring someone on board in your life who can nudge you gently in the direction you need to go. NOTE: this nudging, no matter how gentle will feel like they’re beating the crap out of you but they really are most likely being very gentle. Just start small and move in the direction. It’s far easier to make corrective action when you’re moving than when you’re sitting still.

Keep your chin up.

This summer my son left for basic training in the United States Army. Before he left, I told him to keep his chin up and his nose clean. The nose clean business is basically don’t do anything stupid and stay out of trouble. But the chin up was very intentional. One of the things that happens a lot in life is that we let situations around us bring us down. When my son left he was sad to leave home and everything he knew. He was scared and didn’t know what to expect. Chin up son. Keep focusing ahead on what’s coming.

Friend, I know life likely isn’t what you planned or expected or even hoped for just a couple short years ago. I know things come at you at lightning speed and catch you off guard. I know that you have to make decisions that you really don’t want to make. I also know very well that other people’s decisions will impact you whether you like it or not. But keep your chin up because brighter days are coming.

It’s been a theme in life for me the past 15 years or so that something will catch me off guard and I’ll stumble a bit. The longer I look at the problem the worse I feel. The longer I think of the thing or person that caused hurt, the bigger and all consuming that problem becomes and the more it impacts everything else. But sometimes you just have to chin up and see beyond the present moment. When we lift our chins we can see past our feet and over the hill to the horizon. It’s there that we find hope and future. Don’t get stuck gazing at your toes! They won’t tell you what’s coming.

Keep moving. Keep looking ahead. Keep taking one small step after another. It’ll be alright.

Contentment: Good or Bad?

June 24, 2021 / / 0 Comments
Blog 24: “CONTENTMENT is the Real HAPPINESS” — Steemit

Contentment is a really good trait but it can also be a very dangerous one. Growing up I was taught to be content with what I had. I wouldn’t have everything everyone else had so I had to be thankful for what I had and not always want more. I was a very blessed child growing up and for that matter still am very blessed. But it’s challenging sometimes to be content. We see something our neighbor has and want one just like it or even bigger. We see the newest release of the iPhone and we line up for hours to get it. There are all sorts of things that are bigger and seemingly better than what we have which makes being content difficult to say the least!

But is there ever a time when being content is a bad thing?

I will go out on a limb and say that yes there are times when contentment is not only not good but actually destructive.

You see contentment can often lead to a slippery slope toward complacency. I’ve seen it more times than I can count in the lives of people around me and in my own life for that matter. We get comfortable in our station or situation so we sit. Then we grow content with how things are. We might see something that could be done better but why fix it if it’s not broken we think. So our comfort has lead to contentment that eventually can breed complacency.

As a leader in a few different areas of life responsible for helping people move forward in commitments and convictions, I will tell you that contentment is a killer for motivation. Until the desire to change becomes greater than the comfort of staying nothing happens. Nothing grows. Nothing has a chance of getting better.

So often the fear of changing provides a breeding ground for a very toxic form of contentment. We fear moving in a new direction afraid of what might be around the corner. We like the whole thing mapped out for us, but what if the journey is more important than the destination.

If we remain content with where we are and let excuses fill our reasons for inaction, then we cannot complain when the problem persists. I have a hard time patiently waiting when there appears to be a clear course of action and the one with the power to decide just drags his/her feet. When we are content to let things stay stagnant for fear of hurting someone or not knowing what’s next, we do a great disservice to those we lead.

You don’t need to have all the answers. You don’t even need to know how it’s fully going to end. But you can’t just sit still. Sitting still to continually mull over new possibilities is just demonstrating your contentment and comfort. You don’t have to cross the pond all in one step but if you don’t make at least one step you will never get across the water.

Lately I’ve been wrestling with a spirit of contentment and a growing sense of what I call holy discontent. It’s that feeling in the pit of my stomach that says We can do more. We should do more. Ok fine I just have to do more. I’m at a point in certain aspects of life where I’m just tired of waiting for that more to fall into my lap. I’ve done the whole God if you want me to move then show me. But I never can really discern if what just happened was God answering or not so I don’t move. We can’t just stand still. More doesn’t happen when we’re sitting on our backsides.

I want to encourage you to start moving. Take a step. Any step really. You don’t have to start running. But one after another take a step. Slowly you’ll see whether the endeavor is going to be worthwhile, fruitful and blessed or if it’s a colossal waist of time. If there is no fruit from your actions then be willing to abandon the forward movement to step in a different direction. If one step naturally leads to another open door, then you just might be onto something. But it all starts with just a little step. A step that ends contentment for adventure, excitement, and possibility.

So the long and short is that contentment is good when it’s kept in its place. Be content with who God made you and with the things you have. But there are areas of our lives that God calls us to live with reckless abandon. Throw caution to the wind. Do something today that could yield dividends tomorrow. Remember it’s not about making an impact on the world. It’s about making an impact on one person and changing their world. And it all starts with a little holy discontent.

Let me explain something…

May 20, 2020 / / 0 Comments

In a world with so many options which one is the right one? Which door do you pick? This week we have had yet another round of recommendations and requirements given by the government on how to handle the virus situation. In our lives we cling to opinions we respect like they’re life preservers. But which of these opinions are the right ones? Where do we turn? Everything seems so unknown!

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