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Tag: Community

Trip Down Memory Lane

March 29, 2023 / / 0 Comments

I recently had the chance to take a trip down memory lane. You know one of those moments when you’re surrounded by people you knew in a former life and all the feels came flooding back. After getting home from a funeral in my home town, I started thinking about all the people that have impacted my life through the years. And be careful because the older you get, the more people are on that list.

As I looked around the room that day, I saw face after face of people I knew. Some of them I haven’t seen in more than 20 years! It was crazy to see that many people from my past all in one place. It was saddening to see that so many of them had become sheer memories until we walked into that funeral home.

The really sad part was that so often these trips down memory lane happen at life altering moments. Sometimes they’re at weddings and reunions but often we see these people and trigger these memories as we walk past the family at a funeral. And that was the case for me.

I was leading a funeral service for the mother of a friend. He and I connect periodically. But the crowd that came into the funeral that day to pay their respects were the ones I hadn’t seen in far too long. In an age of social media and all the communication devices that we have at our disposal, there’s really no reason to not stay connected.

It’s as if we’ve grown comfortable with being isolated from one another. It’s as if we’ve grown somehow ok with distant relationships and virtual connections. There’s nothing ok about virtual relationships! Call me old fashioned or whatever you want for that matter, but relationships are best celebrated in person!

I can’t tell you how to do life. I don’t have that right to be honest. But I can tell you that even if you’re an introvert you still need people. Doing life in a bubble of isolation is not good. Removing yourself from the people who mean something to you is unhealthy and will eventually leave you stranded on an island of loneliness.

Don’t wait for a funeral to reconnect with friends from your distant past. Reach out. Grab a coffee. Sit down over a glass of bourbon. Go for a walk. Have a barbecue. Host a game night. Gather as friends. This life is far too short to try to go it alone. Open up and let people in. You won’t regret it especially when you’re wading through the mess of life, broken and lonely.

Take your own trip down memory lane! It will do you some good.

What are we to do?

March 24, 2023 / / 0 Comments

Yesterday we dealt with the uncomfortable question of what’s going on in the world. The trouble we face in the world is not a change in God’s plan rather it’s stuff that happens while God is doing his main work. That work is the work of building his church.

Today we’re going to get to the issue of what then is the church supposed to be doing during these crazy and, for many, challenging times. The short answer is doing what Jesus would do. But what does that look like?

The Bible clearly states that the church, assembly of God’s people, is known as the body of Christ. So if we, when we function together, are actually the body of Christ, then shouldn’t we be functioning like the body of Christ?

What this does not mean…

Let’s set the stage here a little. Functioning as the body of Christ does not mean that we all have to look and act the same. We don’t have to have the same vocabulary and posture either. We do, however, have to possess the same focus and intent. We must be about the same purpose as Jesus.

We do not have to do it the same way in every context. This might be hard for some to hear, but different cultures have different values and ways of expressing themselves. When we function as the body of Christ, we must take into account the cultural makeup of the group we’re reaching. Neither Jesus nor his disciples made the people all adhere to the same rituals and customs. The matter of circumcision is one that comes to mind here. They didn’t force the people of other cultures go through the rite of circumcision in order for them to be saved.

What then should we do?

Look at what Jesus actually did. He got to know the people around him. Before throwing forgiveness bombs into the crowd, he often healed and fed them and provided for their felt needs. What would happen if the church became known for the types of things Jesus was known for in the community in his day?

We spend a lot of time as churchy people acting anything but like Jesus. We become so adamant on the who, what, where, when and how of the things we do that we often neglect the why. Instead of asking who are the people in our churches, we should be asking who are the people not in our churches?

Take an honest look at your community. Do a quick needs assessment. What are the needs that are present in your community? Where are people hurting? Where are they struggling? What are the things they’re trying to accomplish that they just can’t seem to get done?

Then match that up with your passions, skills, resources and people. Where these overlap, you’ll see how you have been uniquely placed in your region as the church Jesus is building.

There is a bit of an art to this process and can be overwhelming at times because it’s not our natural way to look at life. If you’re struggling with this process and would like some help with focusing your efforts, reach out. I’m part of a team that has this process nailed down pretty tight. We’d love to help you to focus your efforts to do the work of the church that Jesus is building in your midst.

Are You Beating Yourself?

February 4, 2022 / / 0 Comments

I think there are times in life when we actually do ourselves more harm than good. I mean we have great intentions but when we really look at it we haven’t done much good at all. As a matter of fact, the good we thought we were doing was actually undone by the negative things caused by our actions. Ok that’s ambiguous so let’s dive in a little more.

The thoughts that follow are my observations from my own life and ministry. These are my failures. They are things I’ve had to work through on a variety of levels. And they are things that I still monitor closely to make sure I don’t fall back into some of these same bad habits and destructive ideas again.

You are not God.

Now that goes without saying but the issue is that we don’t live like this. Ok so admittedly we don’t necessarily go through life thinking we’re God, but we often make decisions and plans acting as if we are the most important person in the world. We pursue things that are all about personal happiness and individual success. We seek attention and put ourselves on a pedestal as if we’re the most important person in the room or universe. Believe me, I know a few of those too.

Friend it’s not about you. If you’re a leader of a team, parent, spouse or even friend to someone – you are not the point. A good friend, teammate, employer, parent or spouse will make decisions and go in directions that put the other person first. If we want to set ourselves and those around us up for the greatest success, start putting their needs before your own and watch how not only do their needs get met but yours will also!

The more you work, the less you get done.

This one sounds a bit like an oxymoron but it’s also very true. It’s kind of like that line they say on airplanes about the oxygen masks. If you’re traveling with small children, please secure the oxygen mask to yourself before placing it on your child. For the longest time I found this to be wildly insensitive and a horribly wrong practice! I mean who in the world is going to watch their child suffocate while they get the good air?! So I asked one of those friendly Southwest flight attendants why in the world this was the rule. They were patient with my stupidity and didn’t make me feel like too much of an idiot in their answer. She simply told me that if I couldn’t breathe, how could I make sure my child was breathing? Wow. Then it all started to click. Side note: I wasn’t even traveling with children which made my question that much more strange.

Back to over working. So the whole put the mask on the child thing is like taking a needed rest in order to be more productive. It doesn’t make sense until you ask a few questions. Then step back and realize that like a parent with no oxygen can’t help their child, so also a person who’s overworked and exhausted can’t focus on the job at hand and will likely not be productive nor effective. Getting the rest you need and stepping away from the task at hand for a minute is often the most powerful way to get more done.

Give yourself traveling time.

I have a tendency to stack appointments in my calendar pretty tight. I know how long it takes me to get from one place to another under normal conditions. And when I have to be somewhere I generally like to arrive on time, which for me is about 5-7 minutes early. But there are those times when we stack so many things so tightly in our calendar that we just can’t get it all done. We have no time to get from point A to point B.

This is also true with general calendaring without travel. The premise is that we tend to stack our appointments or tasks so tightly that there’s no breathing room at all. We move from task to task without giving our brains a chance to change gears. We run from one project to a totally unrelated project and wonder why our mind feels like mush at the end of the day.

There’s nothing wrong with stepping away for even as little as 3 minutes to use the bathroom, walk down the hallway, listen to music, close your eyes or just stare off into space. These are simple techniques that can clear your mind and let your brain get the space it needs to restart in a different gear.


Diversify your diet.

Now this one might be a tad misleading, so let me explain. I am not talking about your food diet, although that’s very important as well. I’m referring to the diet of information that you feed yourself. If you continually feed your brain with the same content over and over without any variation, you’re going to be mentally malnourished to say the least. It’s like eating crackers all the time with no protein or vegetables. You just won’t perform at your peak.

The same is true for what we put into our minds. I tend to read or listen to a variety of books. Some of these are books related to my field as a pastor. Others are leadership books. Others are on finance or parenting or how to understand what’s going on in my preteen daughter’s mind (ok so there’s really nothing that will help with that one but it’s worth a shot). The point is to try to look at the world around you through the many lenses at your disposal. Consuming content from a variety of sources helps you see not only your thought process more clearly, but also helps you appreciate where others are coming from and have more intelligent conversations about topics on which you disagree.

These are just a few of the many things I’ve had to learn the hard way in life. I hope they are somewhat helpful to you and provide you with a shortcut of sorts to not stay stagnant.

God’s View of Welfare

September 22, 2021 / / 0 Comments

The premise of welfare and the working of the welfare system can be some controversial topics at times. The intent here isn’t to belittle anyone in the welfare system. The intent is simply to provide some perspective on what seems to be a more biblical approach to what we call welfare.

I recently was reading the book of Ruth in the Bible. It’s the story of a woman, Naomi, who lost her husband and sons in a short span of time. She was left a widow with her two daughters-in-law as the only ones to care for her. Long story short there was no one to take care of them. One of the daughters-in-law left to go back home, so the story continues with Ruth taking care of Naomi.

Fast forward to chapter 2 and we see Ruth out in a field gathering left over grain off the ground. Enter God’s welfare system. The practice was simple actually, farmers would gather the grain but leave some in the field for the poor and widows and those needing help. They didn’t have a system where people got a handout. The system God designed in this time had work built into it. They had to work to get the food.

No hand outs, just hand ups.

It was a fantastic system, if you really think about it. It kept those needing a little help active. It taught responsibility and work ethic. It made the people an active part of the community. And it wasn’t morally degrading to anyone who was too embarrassed to receive a handout. They did an honest day’s work for an honest day’s wage. It was truly amazing! And better yet…it worked!

The issue faced in some parts of our country is that when we offer hand outs instead of hand ups we let people stay where they are. But when we offer a system designed to help people succeed and receive help at the same time, it’s a win – win for everyone!

When we think about helping those who are going through rough times, we have to understand that there is a time for handouts. But those times are not continual. If Ruth didn’t have to glean the fields for the leftover food, she wouldn’t have ever met her husband. When we sit back and rely on handouts and giveaway items, we run the risk of losing out on some massive opportunities for life!

How can you help give someone a hand up in your day to day life? If we would focus on empowering people to grow and succeed, we could quite possibly shatter any glass ceilings that exist in our culture for people of any and every life circumstance.

In It To Win It

July 6, 2021 / / 0 Comments
Goodmorning, #Bossladies! #happysunday, let's go win! | Cutthroat Hippie Gang | #CTHG

Have you ever settled for something less than the best? If you’re at all honest here, you have to say yes. Without a doubt everyone at one point in their life or another has settled in some way. But when we settle something happens in our subconscious that is dangerous and deadly. We move from a win mindset to simply I hope I don’t lose too badly.

Ok, so I’m kind of a sports guy and I like to use sports analogies from time to time. Try this one. Could you imagine that beloved sports team you follow, changing their mindset from winning to simply not losing too badly? I think we’ve all seen it at least once. The team is down by several goals or touchdowns and something in them just seems like they’ve given up. Their play is flat to say the least. It’s like they no longer are trying to win. They’re just trying to not lose by more than they already are.

In hockey, a sport that I really started following a few years back, there’s a practice of doing something that seems odd but is very strategic. In the final few minutes of a game, if the team is losing by one or two goals, the coach will pull the goalie. When I first saw this I was dumbfounded. Why in the world would you pull the goalie when you’re already losing!? That just seemed stupid.

But then I noticed something that really made this seemingly bad idea actually a very strategic move. When the goalie makes it off the ice, they put on another player in an effort to score a goal and tie the game. So giving up a little defense gives them a better shot on offense. But it’s a risk to be sure. You run the risk of having someone score in your empty net.

In our lives there are times when it is probably in our best interest to pull our goalie. When we’re down on ourselves and life just isn’t going our way, instead of running from the problem or cowering in fear, we should put the extra offensive player on the ice and start going for the goal. When we’re down by a goal or two in life, the rules don’t change. We still need more points than our opponent to win the game, but all too often our mindset shifts from progress through life to cowering in the fetal position waiting for something to happen.

I don’t really know what this looks like in your life specifically, but I do know that if you’re a tuck your tail and run kind of person, you haven’t mastered the art of shifting to offense. If you’re the type that needs the whole scenario masterfully mapped out for you, you’re not pulling your goalie.

All too often in our day to day lives, we wait until the scenario has nearly played itself out before we take some sort of action. That is detrimental at the very least. By that time we have already lost the game. Perhaps the next adventure upon which you embark would better be tackled if you were in it to win it even when you’re losing. Shift your focus from defending your goal to scoring your next goal. It won’t be easy. It will be risky but it most certainly will be rewarding as you grow through stretching yourself.

It’s Time!

May 13, 2021 / / 0 Comments
Get Together Complex Like A Puzzle - Pictured As Word Get Together On A Puzzle Pieces To Show That Get Together Can Be Difficult Stock Illustration - Illustration of abstract, integrate: 164221061

Well I don’t know what things are like where you live but in our neck of the woods we were just told that things will return to a more open feeling the first part of June. What an amazing relief that will be for so many! Many are starting to dabble in life as some form of normal but they’re just hesitant with any restrictions still in place.

Many pastors and church leaders have been struggling to see how they can gather their people, serve their communities and establish a sense of rhythm and community with their neighbors. But the question is where do we start?

I by no means am an expert in this matter but I do spend a lot of time reading trends and studying demographics and having conversations with neighbors and community members. I’ve compiled a list of things that could be simple starts to get you and your friends/neighbors reengaging as a community again. Take any, all or none of it. And even for those of you who are not believers in Jesus, you can still do many of these in the context of your relationships too!

  • Walk to get the mail and say hello to your neighbors.
  • Walk your pet at the same time of day to meet neighbors regularly.
  • Sit on your front porch while your child plays outside.
  • Have a cookout on the patio.
  • If invited, attend!
  • Gather neighbors for a fire in the fire pit.
  • Do an open meal night with a few neighbors.
  • Gather to watch sports together.
  • Have a _____ cook-off around your block.
  • If you like your neighbor’s landscaping, tell them.
  • Go for walks or runs with your neighbors.
  • Coach a child’s sports team.

The point of each of these is simple – find space and time to gather with and reconnect with those around you. Pick one or two or come up with your own. This summer in the church I serve as pastor we’re going to bring back our summer parties. We just need to get people back together and celebrate our life lived in fellowship and love for one another. Share what you do. Share your new ideas or creative thoughts. I’d love to hear from you!

Prayer Walking

May 7, 2020 / / 0 Comments

As we continue to look at how to remain connected to our church family and our community while staying somewhat physically distanced from one another a great option is something called prayer walking. Prayer walking is the concept of walking through a neighborhood or community and praying for the people, businesses and homes you pass on your walk.

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