living for eternity today

Tag: church (Page 12 of 22)

Don’t You Like Us?

Over the past week or so I’ve given you a peak in the window of my heart. I’ve shared with you about receiving a call to a new church and what that means for me and for my family. I’ve talked about determining if I’ve taken my current congregation as far as I am capable.

Today we look at one more question that I have received in one form or another.

Why did you even agree to interview if you’re happy here? Don’t you like us anymore?

Ok so let’s dispel some rumors or hit them off as quickly as possible. We’ll do that by answering a question or two that I’ve heard.

How did the other church get your name? Are you looking for a new place to go? Ah, that’s a fantastic question that is easily explained but hard to understand. Think of it this way. To most of the world I’m fairly invisible, and that’s perfectly fine! But to the church body to which I belong carrying the title pastor all of a sudden makes me visible to every church out there. Having the title pastor is like covering the invisible man with a sheet. Now you know he exists, but you still don’t know anything about him.

The next step is to see if the man under the sheet is even worth looking at. This is where I kind of have a little bit of control. I am allowed to mark myself as closed to interviews, not interested at all, and don’t want to talk to anyone. Some guys do that and that’s ok for them. But I personally don’t feel that’s the most God honoring way to handle things. So my position is that I am really not interested in moving and personally feel there are things left to do here but I am open to the realization that God knows things I don’t know. So I’m willing to prayerfully consider something if it’s of God. And this is what I told the churches who have asked for interviews…all 18 of them.

The church then takes the names of the, now visible, pastors and combs through a fun little document that tells all the details of the pastor. Family stuff. Where he’s been up til now. What size town does this guy want to live in? Are there special interests, hobbies, needs that he and his family have currently? And how does he function in different settings with regard to how he does church work?

If the church thinks, after going through this paperwork, that I am someone worth pursuing and getting to know more, then they ask for an interview. It’s really that simple. And since my philosophy has been that God is way smarter than I am, it’s important that I take the due time to really make sure I go where God wants me to go. Not sure if you know this or not but if you don’t go where God wants you to go you could end up in some fishy scenarios. Just ask Jonah!

So to answer the question don’t you like us anymore, the answer is an absolute yes. I love the people I serve. I have friends and family here. I love the community and the house I live in right now. I love the facility we have for church and the property on which it sits. I value each and every relationship that has been part of this journey up to this point. Yeah I even love the people who aren’t here anymore.

This whole journey isn’t about whether or not I like or even love you all. That goes without question. If you ask around a little bit you’ll hopefully hear stories of how I’ve dropped my own needs to meet yours. And I would do it again today if needed. The journey is about God. Not you or me or them. It’s about God. All these other things are parts of the bigger picture, but at the end of the day where does God need me to be.

If it was about my wants, this would have been a nonissue a long time ago. If it was about my needs, I’m doing pretty good right where I am. This prayer and discernment time is about making sure my wants and God’s plan align. If they don’t, then we both know God isn’t going to change his plan which means my wants need to shift. But if my wants align with God’s plan, then a whole new fire is breathed into ministry because now we all know God is in this and what God brings together man can’t separate.

I hope this has helped you see this a little from a pastor’s perspective. It’s not an easy thing at all. Just because I don’t have a ton of emotion oozing out of me over it doesn’t mean that my sleep and diet and health aren’t messed up a bit during this time of prayer. Look Jesus sweat blood when he prayed because it was a hard thing in front of him. And while I’m not sweating blood or anything, I am taking this whole process very seriously because I love you all tremendously and I love the kingdom of God.

Thank you for the thoughts and prayers!

Have We Lost Our Voice?

Your voice is something that’s easily taken for granted. I mean how often do we stop and think wow I’m sure glad I have my voice today? It’s not until we get laryngitis or a sore throat that we start to think about the sound of our voice. It’s generally not until it’s going away, or even gone, that we start to realize the importance of our voice. But I think we might be losing our voice.

For generations in our history, we’ve had to use our voices. From yelling out the front door that dinner is ready to talking to the clerk at the grocery, we had to use our voices. We had to speak and listen. Conversations were the norm for our society.

But something happened in the not too distant past. We let our voice grow quiet. And I fear some have altogether lost their voice.

It started with the telegraph then the radio and television, but quickly moved on to computers and phones and now all things virtual. You can live much of your life totally on the grid and yet not interact with another human vocally. I get it though. Some days we get that whole I can’t people today feeling. (I actually have a shirt with that quote.)

But what happens when we give up our voice?

When we give up our voice, we let someone speak for us. I remember when my grandparents were struggling with end of life issues related to Alzheimer’s disease. My mom had to be their voice. When one person gives up or loses their voice, someone else speaks for them. And if you don’t trust that person, it can be dangerous!

We’ve given up our voice in so many ways. I watch kids and the tendency to gravitate toward their phones or devices instead of interacting with real, live humans in front of them. I watch as someone would rather send a text or email instead of making a call or stopping in for a visit. When we give up, or lose our voice someone speaks for us and it often doesn’t end well. Even if the voice people hear is an assumption they’ve created!

If you look around you can see it everywhere. Parents have given up their voices to let the schools raise their children. Men and women have given up their voices at the polls because they think their voice won’t count. Even in churches we see people forfeiting their voices to praise teams or choirs.

As a pastor it’s so hard to look at the members of the church and see so many with arms folded and lips held tight. You have a voice! Use it! Or someone will speak for you. And if you don’t speak up, you can’t be mad that the outcome isn’t what you want.

We are in a really important time in history. There will never be another today. The decisions we make today will affect our kids forever. The way we use, or don’t use, our voices in these moments will set in motion the path for the future of society. I know it sounds heavy but it is!

It’s time to stand up for what we believe in. Disagree if you must but do it in an agreeable fashion. Respect other opinions but voice your own. We need to claim the voice we’ve been given and speak. And it has to start today.

No one can take your voice as long as you’re using it. So use it!

Am I Done?

Ok…so it’s pretty common knowledge that I am a pastor. And it’s also probably not a secret that this is all I really know how to do – be a pastor that is. Something that’s no secret but maybe not known by everyone is that I recently received a call to serve as pastor of another church in a suburb of Detroit.

I understand that the idea of receiving a call isn’t a normal concept so here’s a quick explanation. In the corporate world there are head hunters who pretty much go around seeking people perfect for the opening in a specific company. They have a list of skills and items that need done and their job is to find the right person to get those jobs done.

Well in a call it’s kind of like that but not…all at the same time. In church world, at least in the church body to which I belong, when a church is in need of a pastor they gather a team of people to evaluate the church’s needs, strengths, and weaknesses. Then they match that with pastors around the church body who have interests and skills where the church has needs. And they extend an offer for that position to the appropriate candidate.

Where this is different than a typical corporate head hunter though is that we believe this position is really coming from God through the local church. So when a church needs a pastor they should be spending considerable time praying through the options available to them and extending a call based on where they feel God leading them to go.

This brings me to the title for this post – am I done? This is the question the pastor must ask when he receives a call to a new location. And this is the very question I’ve been wresting with for the past couple of weeks.

Have I taken the church I’m serving as far as I am able to take them? Am I hindering their forward momentum? Am I preventing them from growing both wider in their reach and deeper in their faith? Have I outstayed my welcome? Ok not really welcome but outstayed my capacity for leadership and discipling of the people.

This is a hard question to be certain. And the really hard part is removing emotions from the mix. It would be easy to say I have friends here so I’m not going anywhere. But that’s not really what the call is about. Actually that’s what makes the call of a pastor different from the hiring of a manger or employee. We don’t, or shouldn’t, stay or go because of friends or extended family. Sure we take others into consideration, but the decision is based on is God done with me here.

Throughout this process I’ve spent far more time listening than talking. I’ve asked far more questions of myself, the people around me, and my family than I have provided answers. I’ve called on men and women with whom I’ve surrounded myself in an effort to hear God’s voice through the wise counsel around me.

It’s not an easy process! Considering and praying through a call does NOT mean anything negative about the people I work with and serve daily. It just means that I need to be open to the possibility that God has something else in mind…something better for His kingdom. For me that’s the whole point of this discernment process. Is God done with me here? What is the best option for His Kingdom?

So for now we wrestle with the question am I done here. I now wait in prayer that God provides a clear answer and the comfort and confidence to boldly step in whichever direction he has for me to step.

These Feet

I was there the day these feet were brought into this crazy world.

I was there the day these feet came home that snowy winter day.

I was there to wash those tiny feet and there to watch them grow.

I was there to show those tiny feet how to walk and run and play.

I was there to run beside these feet when they pedaled around the block.

I was there the day these feet stood strong as you confirmed your faith.

I was there to show these feet to march across the football field.

I was there to show these feet just how to drive.

I was there to send these feet away as this new life began.

I was there when those feet walked out a soldier that warm December day.

I was there when these feet bore the body of a man.

Today these feet left home for a long, extended time.

These feet now walk with strength and purpose that many won’t understand.

These feet are part of a brotherhood – past, present and beyond.

These feet now carry the weight of more than extra gear.

These feet, they hold the burden of a nation that has all but forgotten.

These feet still march with purpose. I see nothing changing that.

Now soon these feet will be darkened by the scorching desert sun.

These feet will walk in dirt and sand, be covered in sweat and grime.

These feet will hurt from hours of heat and unrelenting demand.

These feet belong to a boy who once called me his hero.

Now these feet belong to man I call the same.

These feet will guide you here and there but one more task remains.

There’s just one thing that I demand from these feet today. Bring back my boy when his tour is done that’s all that I can ask.

I’ll be there waiting for the day when these feet exit that car.

I’ll be there to hold the man whose feet that these are.

Parenting By Proxy

How much time do we spend with our kiddos a day? How much time do you intentionally set aside to be home with them through a week? How about a year? What about through their growing up years? Who gets the most amount of time with our children in their day to day lives?

I would venture to say that if we’re being honest with ourselves many of us would answer that we don’t spend enough time with them and that someone else spends more time with them. Whether that’s a babysitter, teacher, school system, church – who knows pretty much anyone.

Now who’s responsible for making sure our children are raised properly? You know to be people of humility, integrity, faith, respect, kindness, generous, and all those cool attributes. I sure hope that you said that you as the parent are responsible for making sure that your child is raised properly!

Unfortunately there are far too many parents in the world today who are parenting by proxy. They’re letting someone else raise their kids. From assuming the schools are teaching everything they need to know to just letting the church teach them about faith matters to letting screens occupy them while we’re busy doing other things to letting the coach teach them about obedience – we have a tendency to pawn our parenting responsibilities off on someone else.

Now before those of you in two working household families get all bent here, I’m not saying that you have to homeschool your children. Not against it by any means but definitely not for everyone. I’m not saying you can’t have a job outside the home or both of you work. As a matter of fact there is something powerful that a child learns when they see mom and dad working and still engaged in their lives.

But I am saying that parenting is your responsibility not someone else’s! Here’s a quick example of what I’m trying to convey. I recently had a conversation with a group of people from a church. We were talking about the role of the pastor in the lives of the children in the church family. I want to be very clear. I am not a proxy parent for anyone’s kiddos. I’ve done enough damage as a less than perfect parent to my own three children. This church was saying that they want their pastor to be the one who is the primary teacher of faith to the children in the church.

Well, I don’t parent by proxy and I don’t think the pastor should be the faith builder in a child’s life. We’re to teach them but we’re not the one’s who are primarily responsible for the faith development of children. I also don’t think it’s the pastor’s job to do the whole catechism teaching bit for the youth of the church. I think if the pastor does his job rightly, then the parents will be the primary teachers of this to their children. Pastor should most certainly be involved and active and encouraging but the parent should be the primary discipler of the children.

This analogy is true for other areas like math and science and grammar and economics and you name it! The parent cannot shove the kids to someone or something else to teach them. That’s not parenting. All of these other things are assets and tools in the raising of children but they cannot replace what it means to be a loving and true parent.

Look teachers can only teach so much. Pastors can only reach so far. Coaches can be great role models but are limited. You are the parent. You can’t parent your kiddos if you’re never home. You can’t teach them the faith if you don’t open your mouth and teach them. No one is responsible for the development of your children but you. It’s time our culture stopped trying to parent by proxy.

A Problem of Identity

There is a huge discussion happening in our world these days about identity. Who determines your identity? Is this something we choose? Is it forced upon us? Is it a natural part of the human condition to have an inborn identity? Consider a couple of scenarios that aren’t too far from reality. A young man grows up in a family where the dad is abusive, and he decides that he doesn’t want to be like his dad. A girl is raised by a single mom who is powerful and strong and has it all together, so she decides she will be the strongest woman around and she doesn’t need anyone.

In both of these situations, the young people have determined that their upbringing was going to have an impact on their identity. One determined that their situation was going to make them buck the system while the other embraced the reality.

If we were to push this example just a little bit further, you can see the young man who’s been abused by his dad wanting nothing to do with men. Ultimately, he thinks he can change who he is and form a new identity all because he doesn’t like the example this man has been in his life.

I really believe this issue of identity is a major concern in our culture and we don’t really even realize it. Just 5-7 years ago, ones identity was all but assumed. Not imposed on us but gifted to us individually. There were things we simply did not even consider trying to change. Fast forward to our modern context and it seems as if nothing is consistent if I don’t want it to be consistent.

Where does my identity come from anyway? This is a fundamental question that is answered differently by different camps of people. There are really only two ways of answering this question however. Either our identity is given to us by something outside of ourselves or we are able to freely evolve into whatever identity we desire in the moment. Try as you might to make it more complex but in reality it’s that simple. And once we start individually evolving our identity, there is absolutely no stopping it.

For those of us who are in Christ, who call ourselves Christians, we believe that our identity is found not in our parents or our own self will but it’s in Christ. To call oneself a Christian and not be defined by the things that Christ is about is like having a diesel motor in your vehicle and choosing to put gasoline in it. It just won’t work. And actually you do more harm than you might realize. You can’t be a Christian and not allow the power and presence of Christ to gift you your identity.

Our society is fighting over some massive identity issues. This is the reason for the rise in talk about the LGBTQ movement, among other hot topics of the day. It’s a movement that at its core is about identity. Wanting to self identify as something that runs counter to the natural flow of humanity and nature. Please don’t misread this at all. The intent of this post is not the condone or condemn someone’s lifestyle choices. It’s simply my understanding of the culture in which we live. We are bent on being in charge of our identity.

We think our identity is found in our preferences, sexual, political or otherwise. We think our identity is determined by our position, posture, or possessions. We introduce ourselves by our marital status, job title, occupation, denominational affiliation, political party. You name it, we have imposed identities all around us. But some identities aren’t that easy to just sluff off. We can’t change our identity as a man or woman without some outside force allowing it to be a reality.

I know my thoughts aren’t going to be popular with everyone and that’s ok with me. I know my intent and it’s not to harm. It’s simply to help people see that their identity isn’t found in who they like or if they’re liked back the same way. You don’t need a spouse to be whole. You can be wildly successful in your own right without a PHD or cool title attached to the end of your email.

Your identity isn’t found in the color of your skin or preferred pronouns. Your identity is found in Christ and your perspective in relation to him. You can’t change that. Try as you might to have a more clear picture of yourself through a different title or a change in physical appearance. But deep on the inside you are still the same person with the same identity. You are still someone who God loves deeply. You are still someone for whom Jesus willingly and painfully died. You are someone to whom the gift of heaven was graciously extended.

The world will continue to have an identity crisis until it realizes that its true identity is found in a God who loves through a Son who gives and a Spirit who lives.

Can you help me?

Getting volunteers to commit to something is getting more challenging in several parts of our society. I’m not sure why it is but it seems people are more apprehensive about serving while at the same time demanding more places to be able to serve. It’s kind of confusing to be honest.

The issue is however that we need volunteers. We need places and spaces to serve and lend a hand. It’s really the only thing that keeps us from being egotistical and arrogant turds. The more we focus on ourselves the less we focus on others and the more self centered we become. It’s a nasty cycle to say the least.

There is a problem however. In the last post I talked about two filters I use when I look at the volunteerism crisis in churches and non profits. You can read that here. In this post, I promised to give you a way that really seems to work amazingly well when it comes to asking for volunteers. And to make matters even better, it’s super easy! At least it should be easy.

It all starts with why.

When I go about asking for volunteers, I only use two sets of parameters. The first is why you and the second is what I’m asking you to do. It’s really that simple. But it all starts with why.

Before you go into what you want them to do, you have to know who they are. This means that you have to have relationships with the people around you. Know their likes and dislikes, passions and fears. You don’t have to know everything about them but just observe. Are they good with kids? Do they freak out when a child walks in the room? Are they color blind? Are they great with grammar? Or are they unable to spell? Can they sing or are they generous? What about hospitality or compassion?

These are the things we have to look for in the people around us. When we know what gifts people have, it becomes far easier to help them find a place to plug in. So the starting point is to answer a simple question. What do you see in this person that makes you think they’d be right for this job?

When you can answer that question with 3-5 concrete examples, then you’re in the right place. Be very careful however that this isn’t some stupid love fest just to butter someone up and then whack them with an if you really care about the church you’ll serve bunch of nonsense. We’re not talking bait and switch. This is a genuine, honest assessment of who they are from your perspective. So lead with those 3-5 concrete examples of what you see in them.

Would you be interested?

The second step is the ask. So after you’ve told them what you see in them and how they interact with others. After you’ve given them all the reasons that you feel they are a wonderful blessing to your organization, then you ask them if they’d prayerfully consider putting those wonderful gifts to use in this specific area.

You will never get them to plug in if you don’t just ask them. But the beauty here is that once you have gone the distance of really thinking through who they are, asking will be so much easier. It’s a natural fit if you’ve done the first step right.

Is no still an option? Absolutely! And you have to be ok with that reality. But the amazing part of this approach is that when you start by identifying what you see in the other person, even if they say no they’ve been blessed by your comments. Even a no is a work of blessing in their life as they leave the conversation filled by the words you shared.

There’s no golden ticket to getting people engaged in a next level manner. We just need to work diligently at building relationships with the people we serve, communicating what we see in them, and walking alongside them as they grow and deepen their commitment.

Misfits

I remember the first time I watched the cartoon around Christmas time titled The Island of Misfit Toys. It was almost like a Rudolf the Red Nose Reindeer part two. I watched the movie and thought it was terrible. I mean why in the world would we highlight the misfits, not good enoughs, odd balls, societal outcasts? It just didn’t make sense to me. Not because these people aren’t important but highlighting someone as a misfit only makes the issue worse! Now we have a movie all about me being a misfit! Who wants that?!?!

That movie came to mind again the other day as I was reading through something in the Bible. And it made me realize that sometimes it’s perfectly acceptable and even preferable to be one of the misfits in life.

Ok so the Bible doesn’t use the word misfit. I don’t even think the Message paraphrase goes quite that far! But if you think about it, that’s exactly what we’re talking about here. In the part of the Bible where Jesus calls his disciples, we can see it. To me it’s as clear as can be. The men that Jesus called to be his front line workers, were societal misfits!

This is hugely significant! And ridiculously comforting to me. I know for a fact that I’m not the best at what I do. I’m not the most eloquent, gifted, good looking, popular, guy on the block. There are pastors who are far more talent than I am to be certain! But I’m not a tax collector like Matthew.

Don’t hear me wrong here. I’m not saying I’m better than Matthew was by any means! It’s just who likes tax collectors? And even worse is how poorly these people were looked upon by the men and women of their culture. So Jesus choosing a tax collector was a pretty bold move! And one that gives me a bit of hope.

Another thing that was really great about this section where Jesus selects his followers is that none of them were Harvard graduates! Ok so I know Harvard wasn’t around but still. They were regular, ordinary and largely uneducated men. Jesus didn’t send them away to disciple school or some formal institution to get more knowledge before starting them on ministry tasks.

It was very much a show and tell kind of on the job training which was super effective! We’ll probably highlight the strategy for training Jesus’ followers in a future post, but for now just let it sink in that Jesus chose people that weren’t already wrapped up in someone else’s discipleship group. He picked the ones that weren’t super well loved by the community. And he picked the not always brightest bulbs in the pack! All that to say, there’s hope for you and for me!

The long and short of this post is pretty simple. Don’t be an idiot just because Jesus can use the uneducated. But also don’t fret if you’re not the most powerful or popular kid on the block. Jesus can work some amazing things through faithful, humble men and women of integrity. It’s really that simple. So be a misfit, outcast, whatever you want to call it. But know that those who don’t fit in in the world’s eyes can easily have a place in the Kingdom of God.

The Balancing Act

Ever have two seemingly opposing ideas that you knew were both true but didn’t seem to match up? On a simple scale it’s like trying to balance my desire to be healthy with my love for pizza, tacos and chocolate cookies. It’s really hard to keep those two thoughts in a way that seems to honor both. It’s like there’s an unhealthy tension that exists that is almost insurmountable. We will call that the balancing act.

More life altering than the tension between dieting and a love for tacos and cookies, there is a key concept in Christianity that deals with something we call the sovereignty of God. This is the idea that God is infinite, always and everywhere. He is over all things, in all things and works through all things. This is actually a really big deal that I might have to tackle in a later post by itself. But for now try to imagine everything in the world under one microscope. Imagine a being that is able to see all things around the world in one picture at the same time. That’s a pretty significantly spectacular or in this case sovereign being.

Now match that up with the idea that the same being with all that power and size is so personal that he knows your thoughts, cares, worries and fears. He wants to hear about your day and provide for you in ways that no one else can. This is the balancing act we find ourselves in with the God of the Bible.

The Bible paints the picture that God is eternal and forever and all powerful and, well sovereign. But it also gives us the demonstration that God is personal and individual and very intimate. Such a cool balancing act that we get to work with as we navigate the truth of who God really is.

Sovereignty and intimacy are two ends of the spectrum of the identity of God.

Words like creator and redeemer and advocate for humanity are concepts that speak to this idea of sovereignty. He’s called Lord of lords and King of kings. He’s referred to as everlasting and eternal. All of this speaks to the vastness of God’s power and presence in the world.

As we embrace the sovereignty of God, we are humbled and left in awe. This is a power we can hardly fathom. The reality of this size and magnitude is something so vast it’s nearly beyond comprehension.

Then as we turn the coin of God’s character over, we see words like love and Father, adoption and child of God. This leaves us even more awestruck and dumbfounded than before! How can a God who’s so massive be so in to me? How can a God who’s infinite be so intimate? How can a God who is so powerful also be so personal?

This is the paradox in which we live. This is the balancing act we much wrestle with as followers of Jesus today. God truly is sovereign in every way while also remaining intimate and personal in every way. And it’s all because he loves us. When we can accept this reality about God, we’ll be able to better understand all he’s done for us. But for now, it’s a balancing act.

Now That’s Offensive

The word offensive is one of my least favorite words these days. I don’t mean the offensive line in football either. I’m talking about using the word to describe how something that someone does has made us feel. It’s saying things like:

I’m offended…That’s offensive…

I believe our capacity for being offended has grown exponentially! It’s almost as if we live in a society that thrives on being offended. You stand up for what you think is right, someone is offended. You just voice your opinion, someone gets offended. You tell a friend that something isn’t quite right about their actions, yep someone gets offended!

The greater our capacity for offense becomes, the lower we value our relationships. I’ve lost more than one friend in recent years because they took offense by something they didn’t want to hear. This goes for churched people, not churched people, old people, young people, people on either side of the political aisle. We are living in a culture that is trying to thrive on being offended. But there’s a better way…a much better way.

We need a capacity to forgive that’s greater than our capacity for offense.

If you constantly find yourself getting all bent out of shape over the smallest things, then maybe you need to work on your capacity for forgiveness. Now I know that I’m a church guy and forgiveness is part of our vocabulary but everyone is capable of forgiving. But forgiving isn’t saying that everything is ok or it’s no big deal. Forgiveness is not giving the other person the control over your emotions or thoughts. It’s actually the exact opposite of being offended. When we’re offended, we’re letting someone else control our thoughts and emotional response.

As believers in Jesus, we need to really ask ourselves the hard question. Is our capacity for offense greater than our capacity for forgiveness? If the answer here is yes then we have a gigantic problem! The problem is that we’re not living in the sweet spot of our identity. As Christians our identity is found in the fact that we are forgiven people.

The more we understand our own forgiveness, the more we’ll be able to offer that same forgiveness to those around us. It’s ok to not like what someone else says, but you can’t let that change how you see them. It’s ok to get angry when someone does something that hurts you. But it’s not ok to just cancel them from your life because you’re not strong enough to handle a hard conversation.

If we don’t expand our capacity for forgiveness, we’ll live in a constant state of offense. And that is not a healthy or happy place to live.

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