Once upon a time in a galaxy not too far from here, I would speak before I thought. My words would flow at times faster than the water over Niagara Falls. Some of those words were pretty intelligent, if I do say so myself. But others, well let’s just say not so much! And if I’m being honest, there were likely way more not so smart things than there were even half intelligent things!

But it’s not just saying dumb things that will get us in trouble. Sometimes we say hurtful things. We say unkind things. We even say untruthful things. All of these types of words can do vast harm to people we care about and ultimately can destroy a relationship.

You see words have power. Your words, once they come out of your mouth or through the inter webs on your computer or cell phone, can’t be retrieved. Once they are out there, well there’s no getting them back! You can’t apologize your way around them or talk your way past them. You just have to, in many cases, start brand new rebuilding the trust you once had. But it takes time and effort.

You see not only do words have power but the relationship from which they’re spoken carries weight as well. So what you say, how you say it and who you are to the person with whom you’re speaking all factor in to the damage done by your words (or your silence when words are most needed).

Before you hit send on that text message or facebook post. Before you reply to something someone says to you. Before you go off and spew your feelings all over someone else, hit the pause button. Ask yourself a couple of questions:

Is what I’m saying the whole truth?

Where did I get my information?

Is ruining this relationship worth getting my point across?

What do I have to gain by saying this? What could I lose?

The old adage of sticks and stones can hurt my bones but words will never hurt me couldn’t be more wrong. The damage done by our words, or lack of words, is far greater than anything inflicted by a slap on the face or punch in the gut.

The bible says in one place that our words and our tongue are like a fire burning inside us that if not handled properly can do vast damage. Words can lift up and they can tear down. Speak kindly with one another. Be silent when speaking isn’t necessary. Speak when the time is right. But when you speak, make sure what you speak is truthful, complete and said with love and respect. Be bold and courageous in your speaking when necessary. Be calm and gentle when the circumstances dictate.

Below is a message I recently gave on the power of our words. If you have a few minutes, I’d be honored for you to listen and give your thoughts.