Robust Dialogue

The phrase Robust Dialogue became an easy favorite of mine in 2020 and 2021. I liked this phrase so much because this was something we didn’t have the chance to engage in nearly as much as we should! Robust dialogue is that conversation style that allows two differing opinions to sit down and talk through something. The goal of robust dialogue is not to convince. It’s to leave with a greater respect for a differing point of view.

Unfortunately this isn’t really a staple in our culture. We can barely get people to sit and talk face to face anymore much less engage in anything resembling robust dialogue!

But why can’t we do it? Why have we abandoned this heavy and rich conversation style?

I really think it has everything to do with being offended. No, I don’t mean that we don’t want to give offense toward anyone. We don’t want to have hard conversations because we don’t want to be offended.

Look I get it. Being offended by someone hurts. When someone doesn’t see your point of view it can be hurtful if you think you have something to prove. But the point of robust dialogue isn’t about proving anything. It’s about explaining how you see life. It’s your personal view of a situation or scenario.

Through the years of 2020 and 2021 we weren’t really given a lot of opportunity to speak what we believed because it seemed as if everything was offensive to someone. I really believe that we created more trouble than really existed simply because we wanted to offend people and see how they reacted.

Robust dialogue can be a tremendous type of conversation! I’m not the kind of guy who is afraid of conflict, but I don’t seek it out either. I don’t always go around stirring the pot just to get people all angry. But if someone comes to me with a different view of life, you better believe I’m going to voice my thoughts.

In those challenging years during the pandemic, I got a visit from a friend almost weekly. We didn’t see things the same way on a lot of issues. Every time we got into a conversation, the topic of something we disagreed upon came up. In the end, we would shake hands, or do the whole awkward elbow bump for a while, and leave as friends.

Robust dialogue didn’t kill a friendship. It actually forged it into something a bit stronger. I have some amazing respect for people who have strong values and stick to them. I value people who believe in something enough they want to share it with everyone, but have courtesy enough to let other people have a differing mindset.

I’m not saying to go pick a fight, but have the courage in your opinion to be able to talk about it with people who disagree with you. Don’t do it to change their mind. Do it to strengthen the friendship you have. If you really are friends, you can handle seeing something differently. If you can’t handle a disagreement, then you probably weren’t as good of friends as you thought in the first place.

Now don’t read that as a just get over it kind of statement if you happen to be offended. Offense takes time to process. The point here is to be ok with seeing ideas from two differing sides. We need to be ok with having conversations, rooting for different teams, voting on different sides of the aisle, going to different churches (or not even going) and still being able to talk to one another.

Iron is hardened in fire. Robust dialogue can be the fire that forges relationships when it’s handled with care.