The past couple of years have been challenging in many ways. For me personally they’ve been marked by some significant losses. My grandparents both ended their multi year battle with Alzheimer’s disease within a year of each other. Some friends have moved on to new endeavors. Other friends have remained but grown distant at best. Reactions to how we operate in life have caused division within the extended family. I’ve had to bring hard news to some churches that are struggling and even to a couple that weren’t really struggling. I even had the honor and sadness of sending my son off to serve in the US Army. This year has been a pretty challenging year if that’s all I look at, but there’s more. There’s always more.

While each of these parts of life this year have been challenging in and of themselves, together they have been like a weight that was hard to carry at times. From sadness, to denial, to even a few brushes with some depressing thoughts this has been hard to navigate and at times felt impossible to get through.

I know first hand that celebrating during the holidays when loved ones aren’t there is hard. Believe me we haven’t celebrated Christmas the way we used to for years with my grandparents condition slipping with every passing day. But this year will be so different because neither will be there. Not even that silly dazed look my grandpa used to give when he didn’t know what was going on but still wanted to be part of the group.

But if all we see is what we’ve lost then we’re really losing more every day.

Take time this season to reflect on the pain. Embrace it. Pain is real. Loss is legit. But don’t stay there. You have to look beyond the loss to what you have right in front of you. Losing people you care about hurts, but sometimes it allows you to better care for the ones who are still with you.

Maybe the best way to cope with the pains of the holidays is to love through the hurt. Let the people you’re near know the pain you’re feeling. Let them bring a little smile to your face and happiness to your heart.

But if you’re a Jesus follower, I need to remind you that this season isn’t about family or friends. It’s not about the emotions we like to fill ourselves with during the holidays. Christmas is about the birth of Christ. When we keep our focus in the right place even the deepest hurt, those gaping emotional wounds, the losses, the fears, the feelings of betrayal and loneliness – all of it is real but manageable.

Friends I want nothing less than for you to have a very Merry Christmas. I want you to hold the ones you love, the ones who really care about you are still there. The ones who’ve been taken away by illness and death are where they need to be for this season. The joy of Christmas for you and me is found in the Prince of Peace who calms our fears. The Everlasting Father who embraces us with loving arms when others leave us to fend for ourselves. The Wonderful Counselor who brings reminders of joy and hope and love to our Christmas pains. The joy of Christmas is found in our Mighty God who has power over all things. He can and will be present in your pain and lead you to a place where real joy can be found.

Merry Christmas to one and all as you watch your sadness turn to joy in the morning.