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Dear Joe

May 3, 2023 / Derrick Hurst / 0 Comments

Perhaps this letter comes far too late. The things I wish I would have told you while you still stood among us. But maybe the words found here will bring comfort to someone. Maybe they bring closure. Maybe they let people know who you really were.

Brother, I’m sorry I wasn’t there. When you were at your hardest moments, you felt like the world was empty. You talked of loneliness and darkness and felt like life had a major void, but you knew in your heart you weren’t alone. You craved the connection that you had lost. The love of your life was so far out of reach and you didn’t know how to cope. You cried and crumbled and called out for help, and no matter who was there or how close we stood to you – you still felt alone.

You carried a weight under which many of us would have broken a long time ago. You were husband and spiritual leader in your home. You were a 24/7 nurse who lovingly stood by your bride and prayed with her for years as she battled cancer. You took your responsibility seriously. You had little close family of your own so her family became like yours. You were guarded because you didn’t think anyone could really love someone like you. But what’s not to love brother. You were something special.

I’ll miss our weekly calls and more than weekly texts. I’ll miss the way you gently reminded me that I forgot to change colors on the church furnishings. I’ll miss our brotherly banter over politics, denominations, religion, relationships, how much cancer sucks, and what it means to be a man of God. But most importantly I’ll miss you my friend.

You taught me more than you probably will ever know. From how to love people deeply to what it means to really have hope in Jesus when there’s nothing else left. Thank you for the lessons my friend, I only wish there were a few more to come. I’m a slow learner you know.

But brother there’s one thing I think you might have forgotten so I want to put it here. It’s too late for you to hear it but maybe it will make a difference for someone else.

No matter how lonely you feel, you are never alone. No matter how dark the nights, a little light is glimmering in the corner. Even in those final moments, the moments that were the hardest, the moments when there was little time left – even in those moments that would change our lives someone was changing yours.

You fought like no one I knew. You fought for what you knew was the truth of scripture. You fought for your bride and for your church. You even fought for me a time or two. I only wish I would have been able to fight harder for you. But as I sit and write this final note I’m reminded that someone far more capable than me already did that fighting and won.

To the friends and family you left behind I pray they always know that what you saw and what you knew can change their lives too. I hope they look beyond the pain and despair, the slow fade and the abrupt end to see where your hope was. There’s one thing we all need to know about Joe. He had two loves: his bride and his Jesus and today we rest in the hope that he sits with them both. And he’d love nothing more than to see you there one day too!

Until we meet again brother. Rest well in the arms of Jesus.

Soli Deo Gloria – To God Alone Be Glory

Four Must-Haves

May 1, 2023 / Derrick Hurst / 0 Comments

For over 20 years now I’ve done pretty much one thing with my life. Some people say I’ve worked one day a week and it must be nice to have this kind of gig. And well they’re kind of right. Ok not the one day a week bit but it is a pretty nice gig! However, I have to admit, the 20 years have not been all roses and candy, and that’s largely my own fault. You see I had a wrong focus for the first several years that I served as a pastor and that caused me a great deal of grief. It also likely led some people to a bad understanding of who we really were. For that I must apologize.

For decades, we’ve seemingly missed a key point in what it means to be followers of Jesus. It’s evident in the way we talk and how we use some key words in our vocabulary. We’ve changed the meaning of words to fit our comfort levels. We’ve left parts out of the Bible. Maybe we did it because we didn’t know better. Or perhaps it was because we just weren’t comfortable with going that far.

This post is about going that far. I’m growing increasingly tired of lowering the bar to make life easier and that’s exactly what the church has done for decades. We’ve become the lovey dovey, sissified, passive but vocal group that really doesn’t do a lot. There are exceptions but from what I see this is more the norm than the exception.

Warning: What follows is not a lowering of the bar. It’s not an attempt to make the church feel better about itself and tell you it’s going to be ok. Actually it’s just the opposite. It’s not going to be ok. If things don’t shift, and we don’t start to take our calling more seriously then we’re doing a great disservice to the gospel and leading people into a false sense of hope.

Being the church cannot be a hobby for weekends when we’re bored!

Acts 2:42 is a powerful verse that provides insight into the early Christian church and its practices. The verse reads, They devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and to fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer. This simple sentence outlines four key practices that were absolutely critical to the early Christian community and should be seen as vital to the church today. I will even go so far as to say that without all four of these parts we cannot be the church.

The Apostles’ Teaching

The first practice that the early Christians devoted themselves to was the apostles’ teaching. This simply refers to the teachings of Jesus passed down by his apostles. These teachings were foundational to the Christian faith and formed the basis for the early church’s beliefs.

They knew that the only way to truly find meaning and power in life was through the word of God. Just like God created Adam in the Garden of Eden but he wasn’t alive until God breathed into him, so also we aren’t really alive until we have the life-giving words of God in our hearts and minds.

For the church today, the apostles’ teaching refers to the Bible. We need to be devoted to the reading, hearing and talking about the Bible. We need to spend time regularly in the Bible as individuals, couples, families, churches, Christians. All of us need the Bible, especially as we look around at the cesspool of crap the floating in the world today.

A special word of caution for parents: if we are not making the Bible a key part of our family diet, then what will our children do when they are met with challenge in their day to day lives? We should fill our children so full of the truth of the Bible that when the world cuts them, they bleed the word of God.

Fellowship

The second practice that the early Christians devoted themselves to was fellowship. This refers to the act of gathering together with other believers to share their lives, encourage one another, worship, and hold each other accountable. The early Christian community placed a high value on fellowship, recognizing that it was important for believers to be in community with one another.

Unfortunately we’ve watered down the idea of fellowship and simply toss the label on anything the institutional church does as a group. We have dart team fellowship, pickle ball fellowship, trash collection fellowship, fellowship luncheons, fellowship conferences, youth fellowship and the list goes on! But is it really fellowship? Or just a fun activity that we want to pretend is churchy so we throw the label on it to make ourselves feel better?

The concept of fellowship was so vital that it wasn’t about what each individual got out of the time together. Instead the point of fellowship was what you brought to the group. When they devoted themselves to fellowship they didn’t focus on themselves but on the rest of the gathering. They truly had a oneness to their community and it was evident to everyone around them.

The Breaking of Bread

The third nonnegotiable practice that defined the early Christians was the breaking of bread. This phrase refers to the act of sharing a meal together. The early Christian community recognized the importance of sharing meals together as a way of building community and celebrating their faith. They knew that eating together was a great way of building a bond that wasn’t easily broken.

This phrase is also about a very specific meal though – communion. The gathering together for the bread and wine, body and blood of Jesus, was a vital part of what it meant to be the church. When they gathered together, they expected to meet Jesus. They didn’t come to be entertained or given a feel good message. Nope! They gathered together expecting to experience the God of the universe right there in their midst.

When we gather for worship, bible study, small groups, fellowship gatherings and the like do we really expect to see Jesus? Or just have a mildly entertaining time, get a spiritual high, then go back to life as usual? If the church is really going to be the church that God calls out into the world we need to expect to see Jesus when we gather!

Prayer

The fourth and final pillar that held up the early church was a devotion to prayer. They didn’t shy away from the act of praying together whenever they met and we shouldn’t either.

There are so many times when we say we’re going to pray for someone but we just feel like we’re not capable, good enough, adequate in our vocabulary, educated enough and we shy away. But praying together should be like breathing. We need to be able to offer prayers for one another every time we gather. No one is better or worse at this task because we are not the point of prayer…God is!

So there you have it four key things that define what it means to be the church. You either have them or you need to make these part of your life! No time like the present. Being the church isn’t a weekend hobby or something for the faint at heart. God doesn’t lower the bar for us and we shouldn’t either. It’s time to be the church.

Margin

April 27, 2023 / Derrick Hurst / 0 Comments

If you’re a reader, then you know what margin is. It’s the space we see around the edges of a book or paper. It’s the white space that lets our eyes rest so we don’t have to read from edge to edge on a piece of paper. Margin in a book is extremely helpful, and is equally necessary in our day to day lives.

I’m currently sitting at my computer trying to focus through some mental fog. Mental fog happens when we’re pushing into the margins or when we’re recovering from illness or suffering from exhaustion. For me, it’s the second on the list. Mental fog induced by illness and medication. It’s the whole medicine head feeling and I can’t stand it! But what does this have to do with margin?

Well sometimes we find ourselves living in the margins of life and something has to happen to get us to slow down and leave some white space. This is pretty much what happened to me. I have a tendency to live life at a 100mph pace. It’s constantly a go…go…go…scenario. From church to family to home to property matters to membership issues to community engagement to social life there are so many things that pull for our attention and it’s easy to find ourselves living in the margins of life.

So the question is do you have breathing room in your life? Have you created and protected space in your life for margin? Or have you scheduled your life so tightly and so completely that you have no room to add anything additional?

Living life without margin is dangerous. It’s dangerous because we weren’t created to live without it. We were created for a healthy give and take between work and rest. We were created to rest from our work and work from our rest. But when we fill the white space in our lives, leaving no room for rest, then we’re not able to recover and get back to the stuff of productivity.

There are plenty of ways to preserve margin in life. You just have to make it a priority. Margin can look like 15 extra minutes between appointments. Adding 10 minutes to your estimated drive time so you don’t have to rush. Scheduling a block of time for recovery or study time or a nap.

Now I know what some of you are thinking. You don’t nap. And well I really don’t either but some people find a nap superbly rejuvenating. There are actually studies that show a 26 minute nap can essentially reset your day and start your productivity clock over again. That means if you can carve our 26 minutes to completely disconnect and shutdown to nap, you can haver two day’s worth of productivity in one day!

You see when we don’t preserve our margin, something will happen to force that reset. For me it generally comes with migraines of in the latest case a dose of illness to knock me off my feet for about 10 days. It sucks to say the least.

So take it from me, you can save a lot of downtime and exhaustion by just carving out some margin and preserving it like your life depended on it…because it kind of does!

What About After Easter?

April 14, 2023 / Derrick Hurst / 0 Comments

Wow it’s been a week to say the least. There’s a thing in a pastor’s life called the Easter Hangover. It’s the few days or week after Easter when we go into hibernation mode to just recover. I know it’s odd since we only work one day a week and just because we have an extra service or two over the Easter season shouldn’t make much of a difference. Yeah yeah yeah I hear you.

But the week following Easter is always a week for me to slow things down a lot and refocus on what’s really important. Sure I’ve taken things easy this week and gotten a little more rest than I normally would but I’ve still done the regular functions of my job. One thing that’s really sat on my heart this week is what about after Easter? What are we to do with all the hype?

You’ve probably heard the popular sermon that states It’s Friday but Sunday is coming. It’s the idea that Good Friday was so terrible and so awful and so horrifying, but it wasn’t the end. It had to happen in order for Sunday to have its power. So the message kept repeating that Sunday was just around the corner. But what about after Easter?

I recently heard someone ask what about Easter Monday? What happened the Monday after Jesus rose? What did the disciples do that day? What did Jesus do? What should we be doing?

I think there was a bit of an Easter hangover that happened even for the disciples. I mean look at the emotional toll that this weekend took on them! Their teacher and really good friend was just horribly beaten and died in front of them. They watched as his body was buried and guards were placed so no one could get to him. They mourned and cried and sat in sheer shock and bewilderment. They were terrified about would then happen to them.

But here we are, it’s after Easter. Nothing happened to them. Jesus is no longer in the grave. He’s risen and that’s truly amazing but wow are they exhausted! We don’t have a lot of specific detail on the actions of Jesus after he rose from the dead. We don’t know specifically what he did on Monday after Easter or how he spent his Friday this week.

Maybe they had a fish fry? Or took a trip on the sea with the guys in the boat. We know that he did spend time with them and appeared to them several times. We know that he was in large groups of people who all were shocked to see him alive. If I had to guess this week was spent letting the disciples get used to the idea that the resurrection was real. He didn’t require a lot of them. Or give them any really important information because they probably wouldn’t have remembered it in the first place!

You see the most important thing the disciples did after Easter was tell everyone what they had seen. It’s crazy easy to show up to church on Easter morning and hear the pastor and greet the people. We can sing the songs and get all emotional about the moment, but what do we do with it when we leave the building? What about the rest of the week? What about next Sunday?

This is a week to let it all sink in. Take time to get used to the fact that the resurrection is real! And it’s just as real for you and me today as it was for them that first Easter week. So get used to the idea that Jesus’ resurrection is real. But it’s time we start doing something with the reality of the resurrection.

On The Homestead

April 8, 2023 / Derrick Hurst / 0 Comments

Very seldom do I take a slow morning to sit and sip my coffee in my chair as no one else in the house is moving. The sun is just peaking up in the eastern sky. The air is crisp with that early spring cool. A frosty dew is covering the grass tips. Birds are chirping outside. And a single deer is crossing the field out back.

I’m writing this on the morning of Good Friday, but I’m thinking about tomorrow. No one talks about tomorrow. I mean we make sure we have the Easter meal as prepared as we can have it. We make sure everyone’s matching outfits for Easter worship are laid out and prepared. We clean the house just in case that crazy relative decides to do a quick inspection for dust around the place.

We did the traditional Maundy Thursday and Good Friday worship and will pick one of the special Easter morning services to attend as well. But what about Saturday? Why have I not really given much attention to Saturday? Can you imagine what it must have been like to be one of Jesus’ followers on Saturday?

As I sit and sip my coffee, irony of all ironies the brand is Death Wish Coffee, I wonder what the disciples did that Holy Saturday? Did they even sleep last night? Were they too anxious? Were they too afraid? Were they just too overcome with sadness that sleep escaped them? Were those same things the cause for them to pass out and sleep harder than ever before?

Then as the dark night sky gave way to morning light, as the rooster crowed somewhere just outside the city walls, they couldn’t go back to life a normal. The entire city was in turmoil. The entire city was overwhelmed and in a state of angst. Some were happy that Jesus was dead. Others who wanted him dead were no longer so sure of their decision. Still others were devastated by how it all went down.

What must it have been like to be there that Saturday? Did anyone talk about it? Or was it a topic that everyone just stayed away from because they knew it was just too soon?

As we are wondering these very things, Jesus is resting. The hard work is done. This Holy Saturday wasn’t a day to die. It wasn’t a day to rise. It wasn’t a day to conquer enemies or vanquish foes. It was a day to rest. He ended Good Friday with It is finished! That means nothing more was needed. The debt for the sin of all mankind was paid in full. Today he simply rested. In his rest he presented himself the victor. He stood before the powers of evil to prove that he was victorious. Nothing more was needed. Nothing more could be done. He had done it all.

Today is a day to rest. Enjoy the quiet moments. Listen to the children play and laugh. The work, the real work of this weekend has been finished. Because Jesus won you also are victorious! Happy Easter Weekend friends!

The Sound of Silence

April 7, 2023 / Derrick Hurst / 0 Comments

In the early morning hours, before the sun began to peak above the horizon, darkness covered the landscape. The air was cool. No one was around. It’s almost as if the earth stopped for a moment. There was an eerie silence that was oddly deafening.

As your feet strolled slowly across the dew covered grass, you notice that nothing was moving. No animals were scurrying about. No birds were chirping. No rustling in the woods. Nothing. Not a single sound could be heard but that silence was so powerful it was almost audible.

The farther you walk, the more uneasy you feel. No noise around you is bringing feelings of fear to your mind. The air is heavy with humidity, yet it is cool on your lungs as you take in a slow, deep breath. You can smell the aroma of flowers cut through the moist air. But still no sound to be heard.

The only sound is that of your feet touching the ground as you make your way across the terrain. Step. Shuffle. Step. Shuffle. You stop walking to see if anything is out there, but alas nothing around you. Not a single moving thing on the face of the earth can be heard.

This sound of silence is reminiscent of the events of Good Friday and Holy Saturday (the day before Easter). It’s the sound, or lack of it, that had overcome the world. The disciples were no longer confident. They were cowering in fear. The soldiers were fast asleep. The enemies of Jesus were dreaming sweet dreams thinking they had won. Satan was even comfortable in the blow of defeat that he dealt to Jesus.

Now displayed lifeless in his tomb, Jesus was gone. No one was looking for him anymore. His cries from the cross were silenced in the moment his head fell. The silence of this moment speaks volumes in our lives today. It’s the sound of silence.

Most of the time we are somber in silence. We are fearful in dark quiet places. We think that victory is loud and boastful. But not today. Today the victory is found in the stillness of that morning. The triumph is experienced in the deafening moments of quiet.

On this Good Friday, pause for a moment. Enjoy the quiet of the early morning. Remember the silence the women heard as they traveled to the tomb. Focus on the quiet and dark of that Good Friday morning. Listen to the silence. What does this moment say to you?

Pray For Your Pastor

April 6, 2023 / Derrick Hurst / 1 Comment

I was recently driving home from a small group bible study when something hit me. No it wasn’t a deer! It was a startling reality. Something I knew but kind of washed over me like a brand new feeling. As a pastor of a church, I am called to preach, teach, visit, pray with and for, serve communion, disciple, train, raise up leaders, and provide care for all of the people in the congregation.

That night I received a call that one of our members wasn’t feeling well. It was an older member who was struggling and I was alerted because the situation was very concerning to several people who had been with this member. I left the group and headed out so I could make some calls to better assess the situation and be prepared should an in person immediate visit be needed.

That’s when it hit me. In addition to all of the things on the list for a pastor to do, we truly care for the people around us. The men, women and children. The old ones and the babies. They all are people for whom we care deeply. We care for you by doing the things we’re called to do. We care for you by preaching and all that stuff. But we also care for you by calling out wrong behavior we see. We care for you by getting up in the middle of the night and making our way to the bedside of your dying loved one. We care for you by sitting quietly and listening as your world crumbles and reassure you that even though you feel alone – someone is there.

Pray for your pastor. He needs it. I can guarantee it.

There are so many highs in ministry that it’s hard to explain. The highs of baptisms and weddings. The highs of anniversary celebrations, ministry parties, block parties, fellowship events, game nights, movie nights, hanging out with friends. But there are also some really gut wrenching moments as well.

You know the funeral that we did for your mom or dad? That day we were there for you. That’s not the only funeral we did. And while your parent or spouse that we buried wasn’t our parent or spouse they were someone for whom we cared deeply. And it wasn’t just that person we had to bury either. It was your loved one and the loved ones of several others as well.

I don’t write this for pity or thanks or recognition. That’s not why we do it. If you’re a pastor reading this and you do these things for recognition, then get out of the ministry now. That’s not a pastor’s heart you possess. I write this because we are weak and often weary. We get tired. We carry burdens we don’t and often can’t share with anyone. We put on a smile when our hearts are torn open. When we are broken, we still have to stand by your side to provide comfort and care in your moment of grief, sorrow, or fear.

If you wouldn’t mind, I’d like to ask you to just take a few minutes out of your week and pray for your pastor. Whoever he is. Whether you really like him or don’t quite understand his little character quirks. Pray for your pastor. He’s a human. He hurts. He fails. He struggles. But he loves you and would gladly and willingly rearrange his schedule to be by your side in a moment’s notice if the need arose. We aren’t heroes by any means. Just pastors trying to be the shepherds God calls us to be, and we’d truly be honored if you prayed for us.

On A Tuesday

April 4, 2023 / Derrick Hurst / 0 Comments

The events of this week are powerful for those who live out their Christian faith. From Palm Sunday celebrations to seemingly business as usual until the special services on Thursday and Friday and then the big reveal on Easter morning, this week is filled with power and emotion. But it’s not just the big days that are important. There is something special about each of these days through the week that we call Holy Week.

Yesterday we dealt with having the case of the Mondays. And today we’ll move into that day often called Holy Tuesday. The word holy is a word designated for things set apart or different for a specific purpose. This Tuesday of Holy Week is a special one to be sure.

A few key things happened on this Tuesday of Holy Week that make it stand out from the other Tuesdays in life. First, we see Jesus on a trip which isn’t all that unusual. On the way he discusses what faith really means by killing a fig tree. I know it seems a bit odd to do this but the point was made in a bold fashion. The disciples, kind of like we are today, were a bit on the hard headed side and easily missed the often obvious!

So Jesus kills the fig tree for not bearing fruit and then tells the disciples that if they had faith they too could do similar things. The point wasn’t about killing a tree really. The key was faith. We say we have faith, but when it comes time to actually act on that faith there are often crickets! No action. Faith gives way to fear which gives way to freeze. But Jesus offers an alternative. Believe that the one who called you to do this is able to help you accomplish it.

But there’s more to this Holy Tuesday than a dead fig tree. Jesus makes his way to a mountain called Olivet. And here he gives a sermon that is often referred to as the Olivet Discourse. I know super original naming right?

Well on this mountain, Jesus starts to teach that things are going to change drastically over the next few days. He tells them he’s going to die. Then that he won’t be around anymore. Then that they will be in charge of keeping this movement going in his absence. This is really why he was teaching them about faith through the fig tree. He needed them to believe they were able to do what he was calling them to do.

Nestled in the middle of the Olivet Discourse is a section dealing with the end of the world. Insert ominous music in the background. Well the section dealing with the end is really a lesson on how the world will un-evolve when he’s gone. So Jesus is saying that he’s going to die and rise and ascend. But when he’s gone the world is going to be really hard. And increasingly so as we get further and further from His death and resurrection. The more time lapses between when Jesus was here the harder and more evil the world will become.

But there’s a glimmer of hope buried in that sermon. Not only will things get hard and we’ll really not like it at all while it’s happening, but when it runs its course he will come back. That’s the cool part of this whole week.

Jesus is hailed as King. Paraded through town. Then quickly abandoned for a more convenient prospect. Then killed and tossed outside the city to hopefully be forgotten. But his followers are supposed to carry this message just like he carried his cross. Until one day life will be so full of evil and death and wrong and sin that God will call it over. He’ll send Jesus back and collect what’s rightfully his. The rest will dealt with in what is called judgment.

So this week isn’t really about Jesus dying and rising as much as it is laying the foundation for something that is yet to come in the future for all of us. Holy Week is about Jesus coming back again to close the book on this sinful world and set us up in a place that is far better than anything we could ever imagine. And that’s what happened on a Tuesday.

Today In History

April 3, 2023 / Derrick Hurst / 0 Comments

This week is a week that Christians around the world celebrate as something we call Holy Week. It’s the week that we attribute to Jesus coming into Jerusalem where he is heralded as King. Then things turn drastically for the worse and by the end of the week he’s dead and buried. Pretty hard shift to say the least. But how did it all happen? And what happened between Sunday and Friday to bring this change in how people saw Jesus?

What exactly is Holy Monday anyway?

The Monday of Holy Week is called Holy Monday. Really not much holy about most Mondays so we’ll take it right! This day is called holy primarily because it falls during this week that in general is considered Jesus’ holy walk to the cross.

But did Jesus do anything special on this Monday to make it special?

The answer is a bit complicated. So we’ll give it a yes and a no. I get it that’s the cheater’s way out but stick with me here for a minute.

On the Monday of this Holy Week time period, Jesus entered the city and went straight to the temple. In the center of the town was a temple. And it was a lot like a small community of its own complete with worship center, tons of people and even the ability to buy and sell certain things.

Well, this particular day Jesus enters the temple area and is upset. He’s upset because the main thing in the temple was supposed to be worship and sacrifices to God. But that’s not the focus that day. The focus was on the buying and selling things.

Ok so Jesus didn’t really have a problem with the buying and selling either. From what many bible scholars and cultural history buffs tell us, you could buy and sell animals for sacrifice in certain parts of the extended temple complex. The issue Jesus had was essentially the currency conversion rate and the mark up placed on these goods.

You see in the temple you couldn’t just walk in with street money and expect to buy things. There was a temple currency of sorts that generally had to be obtained. So they had these currency conversion tables. The issue here however is the temple got to determine the conversion rate. So they could charge some people more for the conversion and others less depending on the person’s overall economic standing.

Then there is the mark up. The issue here is that when people came to buy an animal for the regular sacrifice, the temple sales people were marking up the cost of animals to make a little extra cash. It’s not really known if they were pocketing the money or storing at the temple or sending their families to Disney World. All that is known is that they were selling things are a far higher price than they should have. So Jesus enters the temple and tells them all to get lost until they can have the right heart.

Now when making money is your motivation for doing something. And when someone stops you from making money, you get a bit bent. This is what started to happen to some of the leaders when Jesus came in and turned over the tables and removed them from the temple.

So what we see on this Monday of Holy Week is the beginning of the end for Jesus. This is one reason why things turned so quickly for Jesus and shouts of praises on Palm Sunday turned to kill him by Friday.

Trip Down Memory Lane

March 29, 2023 / Derrick Hurst / 0 Comments

I recently had the chance to take a trip down memory lane. You know one of those moments when you’re surrounded by people you knew in a former life and all the feels came flooding back. After getting home from a funeral in my home town, I started thinking about all the people that have impacted my life through the years. And be careful because the older you get, the more people are on that list.

As I looked around the room that day, I saw face after face of people I knew. Some of them I haven’t seen in more than 20 years! It was crazy to see that many people from my past all in one place. It was saddening to see that so many of them had become sheer memories until we walked into that funeral home.

The really sad part was that so often these trips down memory lane happen at life altering moments. Sometimes they’re at weddings and reunions but often we see these people and trigger these memories as we walk past the family at a funeral. And that was the case for me.

I was leading a funeral service for the mother of a friend. He and I connect periodically. But the crowd that came into the funeral that day to pay their respects were the ones I hadn’t seen in far too long. In an age of social media and all the communication devices that we have at our disposal, there’s really no reason to not stay connected.

It’s as if we’ve grown comfortable with being isolated from one another. It’s as if we’ve grown somehow ok with distant relationships and virtual connections. There’s nothing ok about virtual relationships! Call me old fashioned or whatever you want for that matter, but relationships are best celebrated in person!

I can’t tell you how to do life. I don’t have that right to be honest. But I can tell you that even if you’re an introvert you still need people. Doing life in a bubble of isolation is not good. Removing yourself from the people who mean something to you is unhealthy and will eventually leave you stranded on an island of loneliness.

Don’t wait for a funeral to reconnect with friends from your distant past. Reach out. Grab a coffee. Sit down over a glass of bourbon. Go for a walk. Have a barbecue. Host a game night. Gather as friends. This life is far too short to try to go it alone. Open up and let people in. You won’t regret it especially when you’re wading through the mess of life, broken and lonely.

Take your own trip down memory lane! It will do you some good.

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Page 19 of 130

Dear Joe

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