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The Gospel

November 1, 2023 / Derrick Hurst / 0 Comments

This week in the church I serve we talked about something called the reformation. Now the reformation is celebrated by some as an event in time, a day that happened over 500 years ago. Some consider it a work of a team of men who sought to reform the church to a more biblical time frame.

I’m not one of those guys. I don’t necessarily see the reformation as a day or period in history. Well not exactly. Sure it was a time in history and several guys were part of this movement that we now call the reformation. Yes it was about bringing the church back from the cliff of bad theology. But it was so much more. To relegate it to a historical period I think does it injustice.

In my mind, the reformation had a pretty singular focus. The Gospel. It was about re-understanding the wholeness of the gospel. It was about finding the heart of the gospel and what it meant for our lives here, now, today. The reformation wasn’t just a period in history. It was about a new way of living as followers of Jesus. It was intended to be a believe that would redefine how we live and who we are.

As I said above, at its core the reformation was about the Gospel. But what is the Gospel? Some narrow the message of the Gospel to some future hope to which we look. One day we’ll die and go be with Jesus forever in heaven. That’s a pretty nice idea. But the Gospel isn’t just about some nicety that one day will be true. At least that’s not how I see it!

The Gospel is about here, now, today. It’s about my life in 2023. It’s about how we see parenting, marriage, work, finance, health, fitness, the war in the Middle East. It’s about all of it – not just a future destination.

The people known as the reformers (aka guys who led the charge in making the reformation happen) were so sold out on this reality that they were willing to stake their reputations and even their lives on this new way of living. They wanted to get back to the basics of what the Bible was all about. The Gospel!

Sure the Gospel is about Jesus. It’s about dying and rising. It’s about grace and forgiveness and salvation and all those cool churchy words. But at its core, the gospel is really deeper than that. It’s about a transformed life. It’s about a fire in our soul that can’t be quenched with anything other than more of Jesus.

Yeah, yeah I know – the gospel in a nutshell (John 3:16) is all about Jesus dying and rising. What do we do with that? Well that’s part of it but not all of it. He died and rose. Yep. Not denying that one at all. But He didn’t die and rise only so I would have some future hope. If so then what’s the point now? He died and rose so that I can have a future hope and a totally different way of living today!

The Gospel at its core is about the difference that Jesus makes in every aspect of my life. The Gospel is just as relevant to my parenting and budgeting and healthcare as it is to my someday after I die future hope.

In short celebrate the reformation but don’t make it about a guy, a day, a time period, or even just about heaven. It’s way bigger than that! Happy Reformation friends!

Costumes and Caricatures

October 26, 2023 / Derrick Hurst / 0 Comments

As Halloween approaches and our kiddos prepare to dress up as their favorite hero or villain, princess or paw patrol character, I started to think about the way we deal with one another in community. I think there are way too many costume wearing men and women. And I’m not talking about at Halloween time.

I have some friends who love to do the whole dress up and be crazy themed out kind of people. And more power to them! That’s not my style at all but that’s not at all what I’m talking about here. I’m not referring to going to a costume party. When I say that far too many people wear costumes in life, I’m referring to the costumes we wear on a daily basis.

Now some of you are likely will disagree, but I’m pretty sure that all of us wear a costume at one point or another in our day to day life. We wear the I have it all together costume when our life is falling apart but we’re too ashamed to let people see the unraveled mess on the floor around us. We wear the I’m good costume when we feel anything but good. We tend to wear the Oh I understand costume when we really have no clue what’s going on.

I could go on and on here but I think you get the point. I’ve been wondering lately about these costumes we choose to wear and what they’re doing to our relationships. Honesty I think the more we wear costumes in life, the more distant and fake our relationships become.

Why do we think we have to wear costumes?

I think a lot of this costume wearing is about insecurity in the person we really are. Look I’m not the most confident person in the world. As a matter of fact, I used to be extremely self conscious. Now I’m a bit less this way partially because my give a darn muscle finally broke. I really believe we all need to learn to exercise our give a darn muscle a bit more. And by exercise it, I mean learn to shut it off!

We care far too much about what others think. This is why so many feel the need to wear a costume. It’s like they think putting on this costume will make them more popular or make their friends like them more.

News flash friend – if you need a costume to make your friends like you, then you don’t have friends like you thought! The people who care about you will do so whether you wear a superhero facade or let the true colors of oh crap I failed come shining through.

In the past 20+ years of my life, I’ve had to fight this ridiculous costume craze in my mind. I’ve wrestled with the same thoughts most people wrestle with. Am I good enough? Will people accept me if they know the real me? I’m not as strong as he is.

These sick costumes comes with voices that haunt you. They echo in your head when you’re least expecting them to sound off. They start with a whisper and then slowly increase in volume. They do this until we either answer their call or give in to their belittling.

The more comfortable we are wearing these ridiculous costumes, the less our real appearance will mean to anyone – including ourselves. The more comfortable we are adorning ourselves with fake facades of other people’s lives, the less our real self will fit right.

Please do yourself a favor. Lose the costume. Be real. Be genuine. Be you. Stop trying to be something or someone you’re not. If the people around you can’t accept you for who you are, then they’re not people you need to be near at all.

Signs Of A Real Church

October 23, 2023 / Derrick Hurst / 0 Comments

I spend a lot of time with many people talking about church stuff. From pastors discussing how they do worship and lead programs to church members about getting involved in serving or studying the Bible to people who want nothing to do with church, I see them all. And each of them come with their own set of benefits and challenges.

Recently I talked about a book of the Bible, 1 Thessalonians. Ok I know weird name but we have some doozies in states around the country as well!

Thessalonians is a letter that was written to a very young church in parts of Europe around the year 50 AD. The church was just getting started after a man named Paul came and started sharing what he believed about Jesus and the whole death and resurrection bit. He talked about how lives should look different if we actually believed this all to be true.

Well his stay in this bustling town didn’t last very long because some people were threatened by a message that wasn’t theirs. So they ran him off. Fleeing to a neighboring city he wrote a letter to those that remained as part of this fledgling church. His letter is packed with encouragement and thankfulness. But woven into the first few verses are three things Paul highlights that I believe are marks of a true, real, authentic and spirit filled church.

Work of Faith

The first thing Paul mentions is this idea of a work of faith. Now we have to make sure to get this right. This is not a work that leads to faith or earns some favor with God. This is a work done because of faith. You believe something so deeply that it changes who you are and how you live.

There’s another verse in the bible that says faith without works is dead. This means a person can’t say they believe and then have nothing in their lives change! If you really believe it then it has to shape who you are and how you live. This little church start known as Thessalonians had just that – a powerful faith in Jesus that led them to live a totally different kind of life. Turns out that these new Christians didn’t just say they believed in Jesus, but they actually let it change how they lived as husbands and wives, parents and children, masters and slaves. Just about every aspect of their lives was lived out in faithful obedience to God’s word. Pretty cool huh!

Labor of Love

The idea of something being a labor means it’s work, often hard work that’s not all that pleasant at the time. When you have to labor through something it often means pain, or at least discomfort. It means some bit of self sacrifice to make this happen.

Paul tells this little church that their love for people (people like them and not like them) was something to take note of! They loved their neighbors, even their enemies and it was obvious to just about everyone. The Bible tells us that the world will know that we are followers of Jesus, not by how we lead our worship services or what hymns we sing. Nope they’ll know we are Christians by our love.

This group of new followers of Jesus got the love part down cold. Not some roses and candy kind of love either. This was a love that was able to welcome the person no one wanted to be around. It was going out of their way to help widows and orphans. It was serving the poor at their own expense. This love was strong, powerful and super evident to the world around them.

Steadfastness of Hope

The idea of being steadfast is to endure or stand the test. The third mark of the true church that Paul here highlights is about hope that can withstand some pretty crappy stuff. This church was started under duress. Paul was there only for a few weeks preaching and teaching. Then he was run out of own by people who didn’t want anything to do with him.

It was under these conditions that this church came into existence. It was under these conditions that this little group of followers was forged in character of hope. If you can have hope in the power of Christ through these types of scenarios, then hope has become part of your DNA.

So there are probably more things that we could say about marks of the church. The whole preaching of the gospel and rightly administering the sacraments are hugely important. But here in 1 Thessalonians, Paul doesn’t use those as examples. He does however say he knows they are real followers of God because of their working faith, laboring love, and enduring hope.

This is what we should all attain to as Christians. Just imagine how different life would be if we had these three markers in all we do.

Leaders Ride ATVs

October 17, 2023 / Derrick Hurst / 0 Comments

It might seem weird to put the ideas of leadership and ATVs in the same line. For those of you who have no idea (not sure how but I’m sure you exist) ATVs are those cool all terrain vehicles. I have one myself actually. I love my 4-wheeler! Tons of fun to go cruising through the field. Not to mention it’s super helpful to haul things around the property! Oh and don’t forget it’s how I plow my driveway. But that’s not really the ATV to which I’m referring.

I think leaders need a different kind of ATV in their lives. In a leader’s life, ATV stands for Authentic, Transparent, and Vulnerable. These are hyper critical elements that every leader needs to be effective and grow in her or his leadership capabilities.

Authentic

We start with authenticity. Authenticity is one of those hot button kind of words. More commonly we use words like genuine and real. Have you ever met someone who was just fake? I don’t mean they were a cartoon figure but they just didn’t live out who they said they were. Authenticity is the trait of being in real life who you say you are. When a person’s actions match their confession then they are authentic, genuine, real.

There are tons of examples of people who are just not authentic. We see it in many politicians and movie stars. They are people we look up to on the big screen. Then we get a glimpse into their personal lives and realize they might not be someone we want to look up to after all.

Leaders need to be people who are real or those who follow them won’t know who they are following. An authentic leader is one who is tested against their own words. When a leader is authentic, they can be trusted. A leader who is not authentic isn’t trustworthy or follow-worthy for that matter.

Transparent

This one is a bit more complicated for some leaders. There’s a fine line between being transparent and oversharing. This doesn’t mean that every leader has to air all of their dirty laundry in public. There are some things that no one really needs to know! So keep some of those behind closed door moments, behind the closed door of silence.

Being transparent is really about letting people see the real you. Between authenticity and transparency a leader is walking with the people he/she is leading. Transparency is the ability to say what’s going on and let people see inside. There are some emotional parts of our lives that we need to let people see into. Transparency is about admitting faults and asking for forgiveness when you’ve done wrong. Which leads us to the last part of this…

Vulnerable

Vulnerability is a tricky one. Leaders don’t like to be vulnerable. I’ll be honest this is one the harder ones for me as well. Letting people in means we have to trust them not to use what they see against us. Some people will take your authenticity and transparency to highlight your vulnerabilities and blast you with it. Those people are not people with whom you need to surround yourself.

Being vulnerable is really about lowering your guard enough to not just let people see inside but to have access to your weaknesses. And yes it takes trust – immense trust! But leadership requires trust as well. A good leader needs to be able to trust the people she is leading. The leader has to demonstrate that he isn’t above everyone else. When our authenticity and transparency give way to a level of vulnerability we become even more real and more relatable to those around us.

So in short, every good leader needs to have an ATV. We need to be real and authentic. We need to open ourselves up and show the real us even when we’re in charge. And we must do the hard work of letting our guard down and letting people in so we can expose some of those soft spots in our character.

Just like my ATV lets me ride over some pretty intense terrain, when as a leader you are willing to expose your true self through authenticity, transparency and vulnerably you will go places you could never go otherwise!

It’s time to ride friends!

I’ve Never Had A Job

October 13, 2023 / Derrick Hurst / 0 Comments

Some of you are going to call me a liar here but I have never had a job. You’re probably thinking yeah right! I know you have a job because you tell us all the time that you’re a pastor. But just because I have a place where I go and thing that I do for a living doesn’t make it a job.

You might not agree but that’s ok. One of us is right and the other one is reading this right now. In all seriousness, to me a job is something that’s burdensome and a task that we all too often dislike. I’ve never had a job in that sense. I’ve worked at so many places that I can’t even list them all. From bartending to line cook to landscape to helping on the farm to building and selling cars I’ve done a lot of different things in life! But they all have one thing in common.

I really enjoyed each of them. They weren’t a job for me. They were work. They took an investment of my time, energy and effort but they weren’t a job. I didn’t dread them. Even when I worked at 3 different places at once, it wasn’t a job because I could find value in each of those places.

Enjoying your work is one thing but really thriving in it is a totally different thing. In my current occupation as a pastor I really feel like this is what I’ve been built to do. I’m not perfect at it but it’s something I’m passionate about and that is fulfilling. I love what I do!

Honestly though it causes me some trouble from time to time loving this so much. There are regular conferences and gatherings where I get to sit with other pastors sharing insights and stories and getting training to make me better. The biggest challenge to loving this so much is when I sit with other guys who do the same thing that I get to do and they talk about it like it’s the worst thing in the world.

I mean seriously as a pastor we get to do some pretty cool things. If you can’t find value and meaning in that, then you probably should do something else!

This is pastor appreciation month. I don’t say that so that anyone will recognize me. Actually I say that so that pastors can start to appreciate what they do! Do you know what your work means? Do you know what you’re called to do? It’s not a job! Your obligation is not to fill your church with people. It’s not to preserve rituals or traditions of how we’ve done it. It’s not to lead engaging worship or do great outreach gigs. It’s not to have great praise teams or strong pipe organ music.

None of these are wrong but they are not the point! They are all good and right in their own way, but they are not why you’re here.

You are to be a shepherd of the people. What do shepherds do?

Make sure the sheep have good food. Lay out a good variety of healthy options for them to engage in for spiritual maturity. Show them how to use their bible. Teach from it. Connect some of the dots between passages. Teach on different levels from generalities to specific details. Give them a good diet to choose from.
They keep the wolves away. Those who seek to harm and kill the sheep. We do this by exposing teachings and thoughts that are against scripture (not against our preference).
Challenge them to be in new places. If a shepherd kept the sheep in one place, the grass would be bare and nothing would be left. So often the shepherd needs to lead the sheep to new pastures. This doesn’t mean to use different things than the Bible. It means to find new ways to teach similar content. It means understanding the needs of the people you serve. It means different teaching styles and showing how the Bible actually is still relevant to our current culture.
Equip them. It’s odd that the Bible never tells us to spoon feed the people in our churches but to equip them with utensils and wisdom to know what is good food to eat and what is not. A good shepherd will make sure the sheep know what plants are against scripture and keep them away from the people at all costs. But this isn’t about preference it’s about the Bible.

Really those are the pieces we are called to do. If you can’t find joy in helping someone dig into the Bible or giving them tools to be able to understand what’s been written or fighting off a wolf or two then I think you might want to work at Build a Bear and stuff a heart into a ball of cotton. If you’d rather fight with people than show the truths of the Bible then join the military.

If you don’t like it. If you aren’t fed by doing it. If you aren’t passionate about the calling of being a pastor. If it’s just a job to you, then maybe it’s not right for you.

My goal is to never have a job. I’ll work my backside off everyday of my life, but I never want to have a job. And I don’t think you should either.

Why Are They Fighting

October 12, 2023 / Derrick Hurst / 0 Comments

Unless you’re living under a rock, you’ve heard that there is yet another conflict in the Middle East. However, this one isn’t your normal everyone is angry with everyone kind of conflict. This one has elevated to a horrific state of war. And I’ll be the first to admit that no one benefits from war. I’m not saying that as a knock on military or country by any means. As a matter of fact I’m a huge advocate and supporter of our military! It’s just the sad reality that war brings death and destruction. These aren’t part of God’s design for us but sometimes are necessary to fulfill an overall end goal.

Now why does this war matter? What is it about? What is it not?

There are a ton of war mongers out there who are spewing all sorts of things about this being the end the world. Or this has to happen for Jesus to come back. Or it was all staged. Or any number of things. But I’m not sure we really get the gravity of this whole situation until we step back a bit.

Now I’m not going to get all political with you. This isn’t about who’s right or who’s wrong. Although I do have my own very strong personal opinions about that. My purpose here is why do they fight, and why does it matter.

Ok so who are these two groups: Israel and Hamas. Strictly speaking Hamas is a Palestinian group that has taken their beliefs to an extreme position. Every country, every political party even has some who are extreme in their beliefs and often in their actions. Some call them extremists others radicals but we can see from the manner in which they operate that they function much like what we have come to know as a terror cell. Striking in civilian rich places with no warning and an intent to cripple, harm, and kill anyone and everyone who is not like them. Add to it the women and children that have been tortured and things get really disgusting really quickly. It’s terror on many levels.

Now not all Palestinians are part of Hamas. Like I said it’s an extreme group of them. However there is a pretty decent amount of sympathy toward even the most extreme parts by the rest of the group. It’s what’s meant by the statement the enemy of my enemy is my friend. While they don’t agree with the actions of the extreme group, they dislike the other side even more. But who are the other side?

Have you ever heard the biblical story of Jacob and Esau and the bowl of stew and the birthright and the promise and the legacy? It’s a story in the Old Testament book of Genesis. Esau was the older twin who was hungry. Jacob, the younger brother, was a great cook. Short version of the story is that Jacob made some delicious lunch and Esau was so hungry he was willing to trade his birthright for that bowl of soup. Yikes! That must have been some hunger! Later Jacob would deceive their father and outright steal a blessing that was intended for Esau. So there’s been some hatred and animosity between them pretty much since their birth.

Jacob would later be come to known as Israel. And from Esau would be a lineage that would forever be angry with his brother. Remember the soup? This group is what we have in large part as the Palestinian people. Please know I’m painting with large brush strokes here because there is more to the history but I’m giving a simple overview here.

All this to say, the fighting isn’t new. Actually it’s been going on for thousands of years. Some years it’s full blown atrocity like we’re seeing now. Other days it’s angry yelling across a border wall. But even in times of peace it isn’t the whole shake hands and be best friends kind of peace we want. It’s mind your own business and I’ll mind mine kind of peace. We’ll disagree and the only agreement is that we hate each other kind of peace.

Now that we have a quick biblical framework for who these people are and some idea of why they’re fighting, why does this matter today? Well some are taking this conflict and saying that since this is a biblical fight then it must be explained later in the bible as a sign of the end of the world. Caution – let’s not get ahead of ourselves!

Remember how I said this was a conflict lasting thousands of years? Yeah then why would today be the golden moment that indicates it’s all over? The Gaza region has been a point of contention for them for as long as they both had land. This is not new! There’s talk about a third temple being built but that isn’t happening this weekend. Actually, it’s been talked about since shortly after the last temple fell, which was over 1900 years ago! They’ve planned, prayed for, and talked about this happening for nearly every one of those 1900 years. And here we are with no foundation poured. The land hasn’t been graded down. The lumber hasn’t been gathered. The supplies have not been calculated and purchased.

So I’d like to caution us to go a little slower with the whole end of the world motif. There are numerous people who’ve calculated the end of the world based on earthly happenings. Y2K anyone? And how has that worked out for us…Since we’re still here it hasn’t happened. The Bible tells us that no one knows the day or hour of the end. But we should be ready all the time.

Look what’s happening over there and in various places around the world is not good. Killing innocent people is not good. War in and of itself is not what God intended for us. I don’t want to say it’s a necessary evil of the world but we do know that the sword has been given to keep peace and order. That means, as ugly as war is there are times when the muscle of power has to be flexed to keep evil at bay.

So the long and short is this is a territorial war over land that is built on hardships and disagreements for centuries! There’s a lot of hatred that can mount up in that length of time. What are we to do about it? Pray! Really it’s the one thing we need right now. For those of us who have family moving into that region to try to restore peace and to help innocent people get to safety, pray! For the men and women defending the innocent and rooting out evils, pray! For your loved ones near and far, pray! For you family and friends, pray! For you enemies and people you’ve never met, pray!

When evil rears its ugly head, all it desires is to turn us against one another. You can’t be against people if you’re praying for them. So get to it people! Pray for peace not just in Israel and Gaza but around the world and even in your own heart.

Character > Competency

October 4, 2023 / Derrick Hurst / 0 Comments

Imagine that you have a job that really needs done. I mean really needs done. You have a deadline that is rapidly approaching. And your back is against the wall to get this thing completed. These are the scenarios when we are more likely to make a really bad decision, so here’s your caution.

The greater the emergency we face the more likely we are to choose someone for what they can do, not for who they are. Let that sink in for a second. It’s super easy to choose someone for their competency and capacity and ignore their character and integrity.

Character trumps competency any day of the week!

There’s a saying in leadership that goes something along the lines of you can never out lead your character. Man is that true or what! Have you ever seen this? Someone has all the right stuff to get the job done, but they’re a real selfish jerk. You do know that won’t end well right?

I remember when I was a car salesman. We had a great team, for the most part. There was that one sales person however that was really good at what they did, but they had some spots on their character that were pretty questionable. Now questionable character isn’t about being a good vs bad person. It’s about being immoral and selfish vs a kind team player. No matter how many cars this person sold, no one wanted to be around them. And they had fewer repeat and referral customers because this person was obviously in it for themselves and thought waaaay too much of themselves!

Character trumps competency any day of the week.

So when it comes to hiring or staffing for the next job or bringing on volunteers to help with that thing your nonprofit is doing, take a few extra minutes to look beyond a person’s capacity. Ask a few character questions to make sure they don’t burn the organization to the ground while they’re getting the job done.

Here are some of the quick character questions I use.

How well do I really know this person?
What do their friends/family say about them?
What are they really good at doing?
What are they really bad at doing?
Ask the person when’s the last time they failed, and how they reacted. This is less about competency and achievement. The purpose here is to determine if they are willing to admit mistakes and how well they recover from those mistakes. These are character issues.
What one word do others use to describe this person?

There are a ton more questions you can ask. I’d love to hear what character questions you find helpful in this process. By the way, these questions are good questions to use on yourself as well. Your character matters too!

The Same Team

October 3, 2023 / Derrick Hurst / 0 Comments

I’m a pretty big sports fan. I love college football. As a matter of fact I will do just about everything in my power to rearrange my life for 14 Saturdays a year just so I can watch what in my opinion is the best sport around. Now you don’t have to agree with me. But it’s not going to change my mind.

I really think we can learn a little from the sport of football. Life lessons. Business approaches. Relationship learnings. And I really think the church can take a lesson or two from the game of football as well.

It really hit me the other day when I was looking at the sideline. Why was the coach on the sidelines wearing that bright green shirt? Then another coach for the same team was wearing a bright blue one. These are not their colors. What’s the deal? Why not wear apparel for the team you’re coaching?!?! It seemed really absurd to me. Until I realized who they were and what role they had. Then it started to make a lot more sense!

You see one of the coaches on the sideline was one of the defensive coaches. He was letting the defense know how they should be lining up based on what the offense was showing. The one in blue? Yeah he had a different function. Not defense but his position on the team related to the offense.

They had to stand out so the men on the field could see them easily enough in the moment. They were on the same team, but they had different methods for achieving the same goal. They both wanted the team to win. They both wanted their team to score more points than the other team. One dealt with a really strong offensive strategy. For them it was all about scoring points. The defense however wasn’t as focused on scoring points. They just didn’t want the other team to score. While their tactics were different their end goal was the same.

Then it hit me. It’s the same way in the church. It’s not about offense and defense but different approaches to accomplish the same goal. What’s the goal of the church? According to the Bible the goal of the church should be to equip the saints for works of ministry and to disciple people through relationships built around God’s promises (baptism) and His commands (obedience).

Nothing in that tells us what color shirt to wear. As a matter of fact there is a ton of flexibility in developing relationships leading to discipleship. And just as much freedom in equipping the saints. As long as the end goal is the same – eternal life in Jesus. It’s about believing and living out the belief that Jesus is the only way to heaven.

He doesn’t tell us to wear special clothes when we preach or teach. He doesn’t tell us what songs are better than others. He doesn’t have a preferred musical styling. It’s almost like Jesus knew that one day we’d have a full team standing ready on the sidelines. It’s almost like Jesus had some kind of knowledge that helped him realize we don’t all learn the same way.

As big of a football fan as I am, I am a much larger fan of Jesus and the way he describes his church in the Bible. I’m not really a huge fan of how the church functions in the world all of the time today however. I’ve been on the receiving end of comments saying you’re not a real pastor because you don’t wear a robe. Or others have told me you’re not really teaching the Bible if your church is growing that fast. You mean that teaching the Bible is a deterrent for growing the local church?! Yikes! Pretty sure someone needs to read the bible a bit!

Look, I know that one size doesn’t fit all. And that’s the beauty of the church. Some of us are wearing the blue shirts of the offensive line coach. While others feel more comfortable in the stylings of the defending the ways we’ve done it approach. Both offense and defense are necessary for a football game! What’s it going to take for us to get this through our thick skulls?

It’s like this – Jesus is the only way to heaven. But my blue shirt or your green shirt are not the only way to Jesus. We’re on the same team, so for the sake of everything holy let’s act like it!

Respond Don’t React

September 27, 2023 / Derrick Hurst / 0 Comments

There’s a little known secret about me that is soon to not be so little known. I can’t stand it when someone slaps my back. Partially because it’s not the nicest feeling thing in the world and second because it triggers a reaction in my brain that isn’t healthy. You see when someone slaps my back (even as a nice gesture if that’s even possible) it makes my defense mechanisms of fight go into high alert.

It’s like a multi alarm fire going off in my brain. Someone slaps my back and then my body tenses up and all of the endorphins start moving around. My blood pressure rises. My face gets a little red and my muscles tighten up. Inherently my hands clench into fists and I have to put all of my energy into NOT letting my arms come out swinging.

I know it’s an overreaction. I know it’s not good, healthy, or even warranted. But it’s the reality. So please after reading this don’t be the person that tries it out. Just don’t be that person. Please.

I tell this little story because I want you to see how bad reactions can be. Sure some reactions can be good – lay my hand on a hot surface and my reaction is to remove it quickly. Not all reactions are bad but some are very bad and very destructive. Those are the reactions to which I’m referring in this post.

Do you know your back slap kind of reaction triggers? Maybe it’s a word someone says or a type of comment? Something the just triggers a massive fight or flight reaction from you.

The difference between a reaction and a response is time. That’s really all it is. A little bit of time separating their initial action and your way of answering back. If you answer quickly, chances are you’re on the fast track to a reaction. But if you allow the action to simmer for even a second or two, you are more likely to come back with a response that isn’t so harsh and punching someone because they slap your back.

I’ve had this happen in my life far too many times. Someone says something and my gut reaction is to talk. I react. And it rarely is helpful, beneficial or godly. And often a reaction will cause hurt, brokenness, and division in ways we could never predict.

In the heat of the moment it’s just not the right time to find your comeback. Think about it for a minute. Have a good thought out approach that is more likely to win the day than lashing out with your gut reaction.

I know some of you are probably saying hypocrite much. Look I already told you I’m not perfect at this thing. Just because I know the right way to handle things doesn’t mean that I do it right all the time (or even most of the time).

It’s really simple but simple doesn’t mean easy. Simple in that there are two really critical steps but hard because we’ve gotten so used to reacting that stopping to think isn’t our first choice.

The two simple steps are to know your triggers and create a better response. I know way too simple but it’s just that simple. Do you know your backslap moments? If so, what are some ways you can flip the script your brain tells you and instead of tensing up and wanting to pummel someone take a different approach?

Reactions are good in some scenarios. But know when a reaction is warranted and when a response is more appropriate. And don’t slap my back. It won’t end well for either of us.

Power of Habits

September 26, 2023 / Derrick Hurst / 0 Comments

I’ve been back on a kick of listening to podcasts and books on my drives to the gym and work. One of the concepts that came out of my drive time listening this past week was about the power of habits. This isn’t like some power of positive thinking or self help kind of deal. But the consistency of doing small things well as part of a regular regimen. Really the goal is to build momentum.

Momentum is a powerful asset in life but you can’t have momentum without the small steps getting started.

All too often we tend to look at a lofty goal and want to achieve it. We tend to think as long as there’s a goal, we should be able to just push hard enough and get it done. But that’s not really the way things work.

Think of a big goal or vision statement as a ladder. The end result is the top rung of the ladder. We’d never grab a 30 foot ladder and just jump to the top step. It doesn’t work that way. We need to find the lower rungs to help us get started. Each rung on the ladder is another step toward the top. Each one helps us build momentum to get closer to that final goal of reaching the top.

The same is true for some of the goals we make in our daily lives. Often it’s not about the top rung of the ladder. The greatest differences can often be made on the short, seemingly small steps taken one after another to get there.

Ok so here’s a real life example. Many people have a goal to lose a few pounds after the first of the year. We’ve packed on some holiday blubber and want to lose a bit of it so our pants fit better. We buy a gym membership and new gym clothes. We pick up a new water bottle because this is the year we’re going to drink a gallon of water a day. We get all the right things and set the goal of dropping 25 pounds. But how often does it actually happen?

The problem is we miss the small rungs on the ladder. Sure getting the workout gear and the gym membership are helpful but we haven’t created a habit yet. We haven’t set the daily steps we’re going to take to get there. What if we set alarms on our phone to tell us when to get up and walk throughout the day? What about getting one of those apps that reminds us to drink a glass of water now please? Those are steps in the right direction as well.

But a habit isn’t about ideals or intentions. Habits are about actions. Consistent actions taken over time. This is what a habit is all about. This means that when the alarm goes off earlier than you like to wake up, you still get up. You find someone to hold you accountable to being at the gym. Because we all know letting someone down is harder than just not showing up yourself. Every day we take these small steps to create a habit that one day will do more than help you lose 25 pounds. It becomes a lifestyle where those 25 pounds come off and muscle is formed in their place.

The same can be said for most anything. It’s about the small steps we need to take regularly to get us to the intended destination. Habits are powerful but a word of caution. They can easily be derailed if we don’t keep ourselves accountable. As hard as it is to establish a habit, unfortunately it’s super easy to fall out of it. This is where we have to be intentional about each and every step along the path to that top rung of the ladder.

To sum it all up, habits help but habits are more than thoughts. They’re actions done repeatedly over time. They eventually become part of who we are. What habit do you need to start today to get you where you’re going?

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