The word offensive is one of my least favorite words these days. I don’t mean the offensive line in football either. I’m talking about using the word to describe how something that someone does has made us feel. It’s saying things like:

I’m offended…That’s offensive…

I believe our capacity for being offended has grown exponentially! It’s almost as if we live in a society that thrives on being offended. You stand up for what you think is right, someone is offended. You just voice your opinion, someone gets offended. You tell a friend that something isn’t quite right about their actions, yep someone gets offended!

The greater our capacity for offense becomes, the lower we value our relationships. I’ve lost more than one friend in recent years because they took offense by something they didn’t want to hear. This goes for churched people, not churched people, old people, young people, people on either side of the political aisle. We are living in a culture that is trying to thrive on being offended. But there’s a better way…a much better way.

We need a capacity to forgive that’s greater than our capacity for offense.

If you constantly find yourself getting all bent out of shape over the smallest things, then maybe you need to work on your capacity for forgiveness. Now I know that I’m a church guy and forgiveness is part of our vocabulary but everyone is capable of forgiving. But forgiving isn’t saying that everything is ok or it’s no big deal. Forgiveness is not giving the other person the control over your emotions or thoughts. It’s actually the exact opposite of being offended. When we’re offended, we’re letting someone else control our thoughts and emotional response.

As believers in Jesus, we need to really ask ourselves the hard question. Is our capacity for offense greater than our capacity for forgiveness? If the answer here is yes then we have a gigantic problem! The problem is that we’re not living in the sweet spot of our identity. As Christians our identity is found in the fact that we are forgiven people.

The more we understand our own forgiveness, the more we’ll be able to offer that same forgiveness to those around us. It’s ok to not like what someone else says, but you can’t let that change how you see them. It’s ok to get angry when someone does something that hurts you. But it’s not ok to just cancel them from your life because you’re not strong enough to handle a hard conversation.

If we don’t expand our capacity for forgiveness, we’ll live in a constant state of offense. And that is not a healthy or happy place to live.