Nice Is NOT a Fruit of the Spirit

It might surprise you but – Jesus wasn’t nice.

He was kind. He was compassionate. He was full of grace and truth. But “nice”? Not in the way we’ve defined it.

“Nice” smiles when it should speak.
“Nice” avoids conflict instead of calling out injustice.
“Nice” would rather preserve appearances than pursue holiness.

And if we’re being honest, the modern American church is drowning in nice—while it’s starving for truth.

The Gospel Isn’t Polite

Jesus flipped tables in the temple (Matthew 21:12–13), called out religious leaders as “whitewashed tombs” (Matthew 23:27), and publicly rebuked his own disciples when they got it wrong (Matthew 16:23).

If Jesus walked into most churches today, we’d probably form a committee to ask Him to tone it down.

We’ve confused the tone of love with the truth of love. And in the name of being “nice,” we’ve created churches that are conflict-avoidant, spiritual kiddy-pools, and allergic to accountability.

The Fruit of the Spirit Isn’t Niceness

Let’s look at Galatians 5:22–23:

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.”

Notice something missing?
Niceness. It’s not there.
You know what else isn’t there?
People-pleasing. Passive aggression. Smile-and-nod Christianity.

Kindness is there—but kindness is strength under control, not cowardice wrapped in fake smiles.

Jesus was kind to the broken, but He was brutally honest with the prideful. That’s love. That’s what the Church needs more of.

Nice Churches Don’t Make Disciples

A “nice” church says:

  • “Everyone’s welcome—just don’t expect us to talk about your sin.”
  • “We love you—just not enough to tell you the truth.”
  • “Let’s all get along—even if it means watering down the gospel.”

But look at Jesus’ final command before the ascension:

“Go and make disciples… teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you.” – Matthew 28:19–20

Making disciples requires teaching, correcting, challenging, and stretching. None of that feels “nice”—but all of it is loving.

A nice church might be full, but it’s often spiritually empty.
A bold church might lose people—but the ones who stay will be set on fire for Jesus.

How the Church Can Kill Niceness (And Grow Bold Love Instead)

1. Stop Confusing Conflict with Division
Healthy churches should have tension. Jesus created it constantly. Conflict isn’t a sign of failure—it’s often the birthplace of growth. Let your leaders challenge. Let your sermons convict. Let your groups go deep.

2. Preach the Whole Gospel
The gospel includes grace and repentance, love and truth, mercy and obedience. If your messages never offend anyone, you’re probably not preaching the same gospel Jesus did. Caution: you don’t have to preach the whole counsel of God at once though!

3. Practice Biblical Confrontation
Matthew 18 gives a model for calling out sin—in love, privately first, and then more directly if needed. Most churches avoid this altogether, opting for passive silence or church gossip. Let’s bring back real accountability. Heck let’s bring back the real church not this postmodern game of pretend we play on Sunday.

4. Raise the Bar, Don’t Lower It
Jesus never lowered the standard for anyone—but He always offered the strength to meet it. Don’t coddle Christians. Call them up. People crave challenge more than comfort—they just don’t always know it yet.

Kindness Changes Lives. Niceness Just Numbs Them.

You can be polite all the way to someone’s spiritual deathbed.

Nice Christians won’t change the world. They’ll just blend into it.

But bold, truth-filled, Spirit-led disciples?
They’ll shake foundations, flip tables, love radically, and speak life with power.

Jesus wasn’t crucified for being nice.
He was crucified because He told the truth in love—and the world couldn’t handle it.

Let’s stop being nice churches.
Let’s be dangerous churches—the kind hell fears and heaven empowers.