In a world where likes, shares, and comments measure our worth, the phrase “if you live for praise, you’ll die by criticism” couldn’t be more relevant. The addiction to external validation is a modern epidemic, leading us to chase approval like junkies desperate for their next fix. Wanna know the kicker? The same pedestal that elevates you with praise will be the very same one that crumbles under the weight of the slightest criticism. It’s time to break free from this toxic cycle and reclaim our authenticity.
Look I get it praise feels good. It’s a dopamine rush that makes you feel seen, valued, and even important. Social media has capitalized on this by creating an environment where validation is just a click away. Post a photo, get a hundred likes, and suddenly you’re on top of the world. But what happens when those likes don’t come? What happens when the comments turn negative?
Living for praise is like building a house of cards when a tornado is coming. Every compliment adds another layer, making you feel taller and more secure. But the foundation is shaky at best. The moment criticism hits—and it will—the entire structure collapses. You’ve tied your self-worth to the opinions of others, and in doing so, you’ve given them the power to destroy you.
The Reality of Criticism
Criticism is inevitable. No matter how perfect you try to be, someone will always find a flaw. The internet is teeming with trolls, ready to tear you down at the slightest misstep. When you live for praise, criticism doesn’t just sting; it devastates. It makes you question your value, your abilities, and sometimes even your existence.
But here’s the brutal truth: if you allow criticism to define you, you’ll never break free from its grip. The more you try to please everyone, the more you lose yourself. You become a chameleon, changing colors to blend in, forgetting that your value lies in your uniqueness.
I’m speaking from experience on this one. Some people will be the first to compliment you when you do what they want you to do. But the second you challenge them, question them or do something that doesn’t benefit them directly – you’re in their crosshairs.
Be Real
So, how do you break free from this cycle? Embrace authenticity. Authenticity means being true to yourself, regardless of external validation. It means knowing your worth isn’t tied to the number of likes on a post or the praise from your boss or even people who call you friend. It’s about standing firm in your beliefs, your values, and your passions, even when others don’t agree.
When you live authentically, criticism loses its power. It no longer has the ability to shake your foundation because your foundation is built on self-awareness and self-acceptance. You will soon understand that criticism is often more about the critic than it is about you. People project their insecurities, their fears, and their failures onto others. Recognizing this allows you to separate constructive feedback from destructive attacks.
Authenticity is so hard to find these days. There was a whole social media platform built called Be Real. It failed miserably. Want to know why? The premise behind Be Real was that the app would notify you at random times in a day. When the notification went off you were supposed to take a picture of what you were doing in that moment so that you could just be real for your followers. No filters. No posed stances. Just you…real…raw…you! It didn’t work because people had a hard time just being real! So how do we overcome this epidemic?
Self-validation is the antidote to the praise-criticism cycle. It’s about acknowledging your worth and your achievements without needing external approval. It’s about being proud of who you are, not because others say you should be, but because you genuinely believe it.
Start by setting your own standards. Define what success looks like for you, independent of societal expectations. Celebrate your victories, no matter how small, and learn from your failures without beating yourself up. Surround yourself with people who uplift you and challenge you to grow, not those who only applaud your successes and disappear at the first sign of trouble.
Living for praise and dying by criticism is a choice—a choice to give others power over your happiness and self-worth. It’s time to take that power back. Embrace authenticity, practice self-validation, and build a life that’s true to you. Remember, the only approval you truly need is your own.
Side note: I’m a person of faith, so there’s another filter here that I lay over my self worth. My self worth isn’t totally dependent on my accomplishments. It is filtered through the person that God called me to be. If you’re not a person of faith, I don’t want to super impose my beliefs on you but would love to share how this premise has helped break the praise – criticism cycle in my own life.
In a world obsessed with validation, be the rebel who finds strength in authenticity. Praise may come and go, and criticism may sting, but your true self is invincible. So, stand tall, be unapologetically you, and live a life that’s not defined by the fickle opinions of others but by your unwavering belief in who you are and who you’re called to be.
Very True. Me, too.