I’ve been wrestling for a while this idea and after some time to let the idea simmer a bit, I decided it just has to be said. It’s simple really. The fact of the matter is that sometimes you don’t need to voice an opinion.

I’m not sure if you realized it or not but there are some pretty charged issues in our world right now. The political landscape is more polarized now than any time I can remember. People have opinions about everything right now! And worse yet, we all feel that our opinion has to be heard because it’s obviously the right one – or so we think.

I’m sitting back watching how many people I know handle some of the news hitting the air waves and I have to say that I’m disappointed and even appalled. We are so quick to offer our thoughts without really thinking through their implications. Yes I know, this is a post that will be shared on social media, so it kind of feels like I’m breaking my own rule here. But there’s no one sided opinion here. I’m just asking you to slow down. Before you hit send, post, or tweet, take a minute to just consider a few things.

Does this need to be said?

Most of the time the things that we offer don’t really need to be said. They are personal feelings that are more intended to harm someone else than build others up. You have the right to your opinion as much as the next person, but be careful that you don’t make it sound like yours is the only opinion that matters. Some things just don’t need to be said.

Is this meant to build up or tear down?

Far too much of what is going around right now in our world is not intended to do anyone any good at all. This is very unfortunate, but it’s true. There’s a saying from the movie Bambi where the little rabbit repeats what he heard from his mom. If you can’t say nothing nice, then don’t say nothing at all. I think we could all learn a lot from this little rabbit. If it’s meant to tear down, break someone apart, or do someone harm then just keep your mouth shut.

Hard truths spoken gently.

There will come a time when you have to speak a hard truth, but you better make sure you’re doing it right. Speak the truth in a way and at a time when it will do the most good. If the matter is private, then keep the conversation quiet. If the matter is public, then still keep the conversation between you and that person quiet. You don’t need to air your, or someone else’s dirty laundry in public. It just isn’t worth it. But when you speak the truth to someone, know that it will very possibly end in a broken friendship. No one likes to be shown errors no matter how much they need to be addressed. Just make sure that you’re having the conversation for the right reason.

Provide an alternative.

There will come a time when you need to take a stand. When that happens make sure you provide an alternative. Every hard decision and hard truth spoken will leave some carnage. And some people will be upset and angry, so one way to deflate and deescalate that problem is to make sure you account for the innocent parties left in the wake. Be kind. Look out for those that no one else is looking out for in the moment. And with more than just words provide for those in the weakest of circumstances.

There are more ways to handle the difficult kinds of situations, but these are just a few of the ways that I’ve found work best when wrestling with the should I say something question. And if you have to think twice about whether or not to post something on a social media platform, then you probably should just not do it. That little voice in your head that’s telling you to not do that is probably a good one to listen to in this moment.

Hope this serves you well and can help in how/when you communicate challenging things to people around you.