Have you ever done one of those challenges where you held a glass of water (or other beverage) out in front of you to see how long you could hold it up? The challenge is actually kind of interesting. The glass is light so you’d think it wouldn’t be a problem. The glass, even when full, weighs hardly anything in the grand scheme of things you carry daily. So this can’t be hard right?

Well as you start out, it’s easy. The glass is just there. Then the task of holding it becomes a little annoying. How long can I actually do this? And eventually the shoulder starts to tremble and the water inside shakes a little. Then finally you just have to put the glass down because your arm can’t handle it anymore.

But why? Why did the glass get so heavy? You didn’t change its mass or weight. You didn’t hang anything extra off of your arm. It’s just there. A light weight glass with 8 ounces of water and somehow after a series of minutes, the glass got heavier and heavier even though it didn’t change at all.

I think we face our problems in life the same way. We hold them for far too long. I’m a pretty big advocate for making a decision and moving forward with it. I’m a big proponent of just ripping off the bandaid and dealing with things. But some people hold their decisions for far too long. When we have a decision to make and hold off on making it, bad things happen. We become someone we never wanted to be. We get feisty and anger easily. We soon realize the weight of the decision is becoming too heavy for us to carry, so we throw it at the people closest to us. It’s like the glass of water analogy. Even though the glass didn’t change size, shape, mass or weight it still became too heavy to hold.

The longer we hold our fears, anxieties, stresses, and even decisions the heavier they become. And eventually we’ll either drop them or hurt those around us when we throw things at them.

Look I know fears are real. I know anxiety is a true fact of life and many people have a hard time processing it. I know decisions have rippling effects far beyond what we might see in the moment. But holding them will only make things worse.

So find a friend. Seriously find a friend who will be there with you through the anxiety. Maybe someone can help you see the challenge from a different perspective. Maybe they can help you come up with some coping methods to get through the hard time you’re facing.

Imagine that same glass of water in your hand. This time when you’re holding it a friend comes up to put his hand underneath yours. All of a sudden the pressure of the glass no longer affects your arm. Immediately you have relief. The same is true with our stresses and fears and anxieties we hold onto in life. When we surround ourselves with people who are willing to challenge us and hold us accountable and help us when we struggle, we’ll realize we can carry the glass longer. We’ll even be able to set the glass down over time.

If you can’t set the glass down today, find a friend who you trust to help you hold the glass. I bet you’ll thank me for it.