Tasks completed. Goals reached. Hurdles jumped. Achievements made. Boxes checked. All are signs that you’re moving in the right direction. Under normal circumstances these would be markers of success or advancement, but sometimes they don’t mean a hill of beans. And the sooner you realize it, the less it hurts.

Ok before we dig too deep here, yes I’m ok. No I’m not going off the deep end. Some of this is personal. Some is anecdotal. Some is simply the harsh realities of living in the world.

The long and short of this post is that to some people no matter what you do it will never be enough.

I’ve worked a variety of roles in my 48 years of life. From line cook to bartender, from manufacturer to car sales, from church planter to pastor of a staff, from coach to counselor there are tons of roles that I’ve filled in my life. I’ve had more jobs than many.

I’ve been working since I was able to get hired somewhere, and rarely did I ever have just one job at a time even while pulling a full course load in college. Sixty to 80 hour weeks have been a part of my life for decades.

I started bagging groceries at a local store. To be honest the job didn’t suck but it certainly wasn’t my favorite. So I quickly figured out what needed to be done to move up, and I did it. The same was the case in every other place I have ever worked. I look at the tasks, evaluate the job description, see what needs to be done to advance and I do it. I’m a task guy. I get things done. And I am driven by recognition and, if I’m being honest, the recognition of title and salary are probably ones that speak the louder to me than they should. Hence Lead Dairy Stock Crew was far more appealing than Bagger!

But there are times and environments when even the goals achieved, benchmarks met, hurdles jumped, and all the things checked off in sequence don’t yield the results you thought they would. For some people no matter what you do, it will never be enough.

And when that happens you kind of have two options. You can let it bring you down, cause you to spiral, throw up your hands and just say screw it all. That’s the bury your head in the sand kind of approach, and for some people that’s just what needs to happen for a season. But you can’t stay here long or you’ll end up in a depression filled stupor that will impact your performance and relationships.

The other option however is to realize that just because you’ll never be enough for this person, or that group, their opinion isn’t the only one out there. There are times when you just need to buckle down, do the work, and look past how others don’t see the value in what you bring to the table. Sure you can drop it all and go find greener pastures. That certainly is an option, but chances are you’ll be disappointed later too. Because not too far down the road you’ll find someone else who tells you by their actions that you’ll never be enough.

It’s unfortunate but your value will be determined by the person, or people, who mean the most to you. If that’s your employer, then you’ll probably bounce from job to job pretty quickly. If it’s your family, then you’ll be hurt when the kids don’t listen. If it’s your church, well it’s full of people carrying just as much baggage as you so be careful. But there could be a better place to find your value.

There’s only one place where your value isn’t dependent on your performance. And if you want to know where that place is, just ask. I’ll gladly show you where your value is, because I’ve had to go there often when I realize that for some people I’ll just never be enough no matter what they say.