I’m currently cramming through a book to join a group that’s been together for a few months already and need to get caught up. And this dichotomy shows up in the first couple of chapters. It’s the dichotomy of invitation and challenge. Now that doesn’t mean a lot at face value but if you give me about 4 mins of your time and read this there’s stuff here that can apply to just about everyone’s life.

So the idea of invitation and challenge was brought up in the context of breaking a horse. I’m really not a big fan of here terminology of breaking something but I hope you know what that means. Simply put, it’s making a wild horse a little less wild. Some would do this by beating the horse and breaking their spirit. Some would do this by attempting to ride them in a body of water making it harder for the horse to kick and buck the off. But the book uses a different analogy and that’s how a horse is welcomed into a herd in the wild.

It’s something that the author calls invitation and challenge. The idea behind invitation and challenge is pretty simple, and it is super helpful in how we raise up leaders and even teach our children how to grow and mature. In what follows I will unpack the two sides of invitation and challenge and apply them to basic relationship and leadership settings.

There is a back and forth that needs to happen in every relationship. It is all about welcoming and getting to know the other person on their terms. And then offering up a challenge of sorts to show there are expectation and who ultimately has authority.

Invitation is welcoming someone in and drawing them close. In the illustration of the horses used above, the outsider horse is greeted by a female horse from the herd. The mare would turn sideways and in a show of vulnerability would bare her side. This is the weakest part of the horse if you didn’t know. By turning she was indicating that she came with no ill intention and is willing to let the outsider horse come closer. As the outsider draws in a little, the mare turns forward facing and enters into a stare down of sorts.

This is the challenge. This is a show of power and strength. While the outsider may be larger or stronger or faster, the mare carries with her the authority of the entire herd. She is not easily moved and if so she has the rest of the group behind her.

This goes back and forth between invitation and challenge as the outsider draws ever closer yet is kept in check by the mare’s direct stare from time to time. Eventually the outsider is “broken” into the herd and all is good.

Now as we translate that into our relationships with our children, coworkers, employees, neighbors, etc. The principles remain the same. We need to be gentle and open and welcoming. We need to be vulnerable and willing to let our guard down a little bit. We need to be more intentional about our sense of invitation when it comes to these and frankly all relationships.

But at the same time we need space to challenge one another. We need to set rules for our children to obey. We need to keep employees on task and coworkers need held accountable.

So as we go through life there needs to be a more intentional trade off between invitation and challenge. As Christians this is a great model for discipleship and growing in our faith development. We need to invite into a relationship with others. Jesus did this with the twelve disciples. But he didn’t let them get too comfy because soon he woudl send them out to do the stuff he was talking about. He told them that they would have to change. The old needs to go away and the new needs to be born into us.

This is the amazing and fantastic dichotomy of saint and sinner. We’re invited in through grace which is the good news of God. And because of that invitation our lives look different. It’s what James talked about in the bible. A faith without works is dead. There must be a life change that happens when we follow up on God’s invitation.

There’s a lot here so we’ll end at that. Invitation and challenge find a balance and strengthen relationships. Super simple just not always easy.