As Halloween approaches and our kiddos prepare to dress up as their favorite hero or villain, princess or paw patrol character, I started to think about the way we deal with one another in community. I think there are way too many costume wearing men and women. And I’m not talking about at Halloween time.

I have some friends who love to do the whole dress up and be crazy themed out kind of people. And more power to them! That’s not my style at all but that’s not at all what I’m talking about here. I’m not referring to going to a costume party. When I say that far too many people wear costumes in life, I’m referring to the costumes we wear on a daily basis.

Now some of you are likely will disagree, but I’m pretty sure that all of us wear a costume at one point or another in our day to day life. We wear the I have it all together costume when our life is falling apart but we’re too ashamed to let people see the unraveled mess on the floor around us. We wear the I’m good costume when we feel anything but good. We tend to wear the Oh I understand costume when we really have no clue what’s going on.

I could go on and on here but I think you get the point. I’ve been wondering lately about these costumes we choose to wear and what they’re doing to our relationships. Honesty I think the more we wear costumes in life, the more distant and fake our relationships become.

Why do we think we have to wear costumes?

I think a lot of this costume wearing is about insecurity in the person we really are. Look I’m not the most confident person in the world. As a matter of fact, I used to be extremely self conscious. Now I’m a bit less this way partially because my give a darn muscle finally broke. I really believe we all need to learn to exercise our give a darn muscle a bit more. And by exercise it, I mean learn to shut it off!

We care far too much about what others think. This is why so many feel the need to wear a costume. It’s like they think putting on this costume will make them more popular or make their friends like them more.

News flash friend – if you need a costume to make your friends like you, then you don’t have friends like you thought! The people who care about you will do so whether you wear a superhero facade or let the true colors of oh crap I failed come shining through.

In the past 20+ years of my life, I’ve had to fight this ridiculous costume craze in my mind. I’ve wrestled with the same thoughts most people wrestle with. Am I good enough? Will people accept me if they know the real me? I’m not as strong as he is.

These sick costumes comes with voices that haunt you. They echo in your head when you’re least expecting them to sound off. They start with a whisper and then slowly increase in volume. They do this until we either answer their call or give in to their belittling.

The more comfortable we are wearing these ridiculous costumes, the less our real appearance will mean to anyone – including ourselves. The more comfortable we are adorning ourselves with fake facades of other people’s lives, the less our real self will fit right.

Please do yourself a favor. Lose the costume. Be real. Be genuine. Be you. Stop trying to be something or someone you’re not. If the people around you can’t accept you for who you are, then they’re not people you need to be near at all.