There is a method of arguing known by its latin name ad-hominem. I know it’s not a word we say all the time but we probably use this method of arguing and don’t even know it. The idea behind an ad-hominem is that you can’t win an argument on the basis of the content of the argument so you start slandering your opponent. You move from content discussion to character attacks.

When we are backed into a corner and realize our argument really doesn’t hold water, sometimes it’s tempting to stoop to attacking someone’s character instead. Character attacks are just not cool. Actually a character attack demonstrates how weak our argument really is.

The story of Stephen in the Bible is one that starts with an argument based on content, but it’s soon realized that Stephen’s content is rock solid. Then the attack moves to his character. They make up things about him just to make others think poorly of Stephen. But again he doesn’t budge. Finally, when nothing else works they resort to murderous threats and eventually killing him.

We may not go around stoning people, at least we better not! But we often find ourselves easily backing ourselves into a character attack scenario. When we don’t get our way, we lash out at our opposition. When we don’t hear what we want to hear, we attack the person instead of arguing the merits of our position. When our personal attacks fail to get through, all too often we just drop the person from our lives, delete them from social media, block their number on our phones, act as if they no longer exist.

There must be a better way. Check out last night’s message to see what that better way might be.