living for eternity today

Category: Disciple (Page 2 of 18)

I Am Not Nice

Be nice. It’s what I was always told growing up. We need to be nice to one another. But I don’t know if nice is the best answer in every situation. Admittedly I’m less nice than some, but I will generally try to be kind. Kind and nice are not the same thing.

In a world often drenched in cynicism and snarky remarks, kindness can sometimes feel like a forgotten relic of a bygone era. I don’t think kindness is dead; it’s just undergone a bit of a makeover. Welcome to the era of being kind, but not always nice.

Now, you might be scratching your head, wondering, “What’s the difference?” Well, buckle up, because we’re about to embark on a wild ride through the realm of edgy kindness.

Let’s start with the basics. Kindness, at its core, is about compassion, empathy, and understanding. It’s about lending a helping hand, offering a shoulder to lean on, and spreading love in a world that desperately needs it. It’s about seeking the best for those around you. It’s about caring enough to keep people safe. But here’s where things get interesting: being kind doesn’t always mean being nice.

Being nice often entails things like gentle tone of voice and quiet, calm demeanor. The “nice” thing to do in a given scenario might be to bite your tongue and let the offense slide. But where’s the fun in that? Actually, where’s the good in that?

Enter edgy kindness. Instead of bottling up your frustration, why not speak up? Instead of brushing every little thing under the rug, how about you call a spade a spade. You don’t need to do it in a hostile or confrontational way. Just speak up and feel free to include a dash of wit and charm.

See, being kind doesn’t mean being a doormat. It means standing up for yourself and others, even if it ruffles a few feathers along the way. It’s about setting boundaries, calling out injustice, and refusing to settle for anything less than the respect we all deserve.

But edgy kindness isn’t just about witty comebacks and snarky remarks. It’s also about challenging the status quo and sparking meaningful conversations. Take, for example, those awkward family gatherings where Uncle Bob insists on spewing his outdated opinions like candy at a parade.

Instead of nodding along in silence, why not engage him in a thought-provoking debate? Approach the conversation with an open mind and a sprinkle of humor, and who knows? You might just plant a seed of change in Uncle Bob’s stubborn brain.

Of course, edgy kindness isn’t always easy. It requires courage, resilience, and a willingness to embrace discomfort. But trust me when I say, the rewards are worth it. Not only will you feel the unnecessary weight of internal conflict rise from your shoulders, but you also allow the situation to heal. Often speaking in kindness, with a little edge of not so niceness, is what’s needed to get through to the stubborn employee who doesn’t think they need to do their job. Sometimes this edgy kindness will help an erring friend see their way. Heck edgy kindness might even save someone’s future…you just never know.

So, the next time life throws you a curveball, don’t be afraid to unleash your inner edgy kindness. Speak your truth, stand up for what’s right, and above all, don’t forget to laugh along the way. After all, kindness is the ultimate rebel act in a world that could use a little more heart and a lot less sugarcoating. I know that’s not nice! But sometimes not being nice is the best way to show kindness.

Nine to Five

I remember the movie from when I was growing up. I’ve probably only seen it once but the premise or maybe just the title is something that I think about off and on. Actually as I write this, I just finished a quick conversation with my wife about the whole 9-5 idea.

Some days I’m jealous of the times I had a regular job. A job that I could arrive at one bell and leave at the other. A job where I swiped my badge and logged my hours and left. A job where the job stayed in the building. A job that didn’t wake me up at night. A job that didn’t make my stomach turn because of how people act. A job where the harder I worked and the more I accomplished the clearer the lines for advancement. A job where hard work counted for something.

Some days I wonder what it would be like to be in a job where people didn’t criticize me for getting a new car. Where people didn’t think I was paid too much all because my family can travel to Disney (even though my wife is a travel advisor and that’s part of her job, not to mention the offsets she’s received as part of her stellar work). I wonder what it’s like to be able to buy a new pair of shoes or sport coat and not have people think I am squandering my wealth.

If I’m being honest some days I kind of wish my life fit that category. But then there are other days.

The days when I get to hold your baby as I sprinkle some water on his forehead and remind him that he’s been marked by Christ the crucified. Or I get to sit by the recliner of your grandma as she struggles for her final breath. I get to hold your head as you throw up because of the horrendous life change that was just forced upon you and you don’t know what to do next. Or I get to watch as you trust me to teach your child about how important faith is to them as they grow and mature.

The past 12 months have been some of the most challenging of my ministry and many people probably have no clue. From losing people for whom I cared deeply to people I thought were friends stop acting like friends to a few other situations that are more private than public. Let’s just say the struggle has been real.

I know some of you are going to read this and get all wigged out. But please don’t do that. Don’t read anything into what’s here. By now you should know that I’m kind of shoot straight kind of guy. Rarely do you have to read between the lines with what I’m saying. So just in case you’re having a hard time here you go.

Over the past couple of years I have definitely thought about what the future looks like. I’ve wondered if it wasn’t time to move back to a 9-5 kind of situation. I’ve contemplated if I’ve outlasted my usefulness in ministry. And just so you know I’m not alone in this, there are some startling stats about how many pastors have struggled with this over the past few years, like over 60% of us have considered leaving the ministry!

But when things start to go off the rails and my head and heart begin to hemorrhage these feelings of doubt, someone shoots me a text or calls me to offer a word of encouragement. Maybe I get to baptize a child. Or I hear why your son or daughter wants to be confirmed. I get to hold the hand of your dying loved one. I get to reassure you of the power of the resurrection even over your darkest grief. The doubt subsides and the reality peaks back through.

Now here’s where I need you to listen. I’m not saying that my occupation is better or worse than anyone else’s. I don’t write this to try to glorify myself over you or falsely lower myself in a backwards pride moment. I put this here because someday I’m going to need to come back and read it. Some day, when the dust settles I’ll be able to look here and be reminded of just how blessed I am to be surrounded by so many wonderful people.

As I close this post out I’m reminded of a quote that’s been rattling around in my nearly empty noggin. In preparation for a recent message I was reminded that the thing you value most will determine your value. There are times when I let my value be driven by the way others respond, or don’t respond to me.

Let’s make sure today isn’t one of those days.

Stump The Pastor

Being in ministry can be a fun experience. Some days are easier than others. One thing that often occurs in the church I serve as pastor is that the people play a game of stump the pastor.

Now, I don’t think it’s an intentional game all them time, but I do think there is a little fun had when I don’t have an answer right off hand. This past Sunday seemed to be one of those stump the pastor moments.

We were looking at a reading from Acts 1 where the author quoted a random verse from the Old Testament, seemingly yanking it totally out of context. This is a well known pet peeve of mine, so of course this was the topic of conversation.

Why would Acts pull this single verse out of the Psalms and throw it here? It doesn’t seem to fit…

My standard protocol when I have a question I can’t answer is to see if someone smarter than me is able to answer it. Then I do my own digging when I have time. Today is mining day. Mining through the Bible to see if I can find an answer or at least something that makes some sense.

When I go about this digging process, I look for other places where a similar approach is taken. I read commentaries (books by people far smarter than I)! And then I do some translation work to see if something didn’t get missed in translation from the original language to the English that sits before us.

Well, this one didn’t take very long before I found a bit of a pattern. There are several places where the New Testament authors use this similar approach in their writing. Often these are quotes from the psalms, which are typically poems or songs, that are seemingly out of context and perhaps misapplied?

That’s when a new question starts to rattle around in the noggin. If multiple authors use the same technique, then what do they know that we don’t know? Which means more reading and more studying ensues.

Finally! After digging around in the Bible, commentaries, online studies, bible software, and some Jewish writing style literature I do believe we have an answer. It’s a technique in Jewish writing called REMEZ. This technique basically is to quote a line from a well known song or poem, trusting that you will know its context. Kind of like you or I starting the lyrics to a well known pop song, trusting you will finish singing it in your head.

Then the reader, in this case you and I, are to then take the scenario to which it is originally applied and lay that over the context of the new passage. And ultimately using the new context, we can see some similarities to the original but also some deeper truths unveiled.

Here’s an example that’s a bit easier to see than the one we discussed on Sunday.

In Romans 8:36, Paul is cranking out some pretty convincing things about God and his salvation for us when he throws in this odd verse from Psalm 44 For your sake we are being killed all the day long; we are regarded as sheep to be slaughtered. If you read the rest of chapter 8, it really isn’t where Paul is headed. But when you double back and read the context of Psalm 44 where Israel is pursued by enemies who are out to destroy them and overtake them and they are seemingly without hope, then lay that over the context of Romans 8 it starts to make sense.

Paul is making the point that if God is for us, no one against us really matters. Just like Israel in Psalm 44, who was surrounded by many enemies and ultimately God was able to overcome all of them.

The same is true in the Acts 1 and Psalm 69 passages. Something was happening in the lives of Israel and the prayer of the psalmist was that God would handle it. Then in Acts 1 the disciples are saying that they have a pretty significant problem of betrayal from inside and they need God to handle it as well.

When we have a hard time determining what a specific bible verse means or why it’s structured the way it is structured, a great approach is to look around and see how this same approach is taken elsewhere. In this case, we didn’t have time to do that. And I know this wasn’t really designed to be one of those stump the pastor moments, but it ended up being a bit of a Sunday stumper! But now you know.

Christ In Collard Greens

What if I say the wrong thing?

What if I don’t have all the answers?

I just need another class or maybe I can read a book that will give me the 7 steps to do this.

Have you ever heard anyone say something like this? I’m a pastor and this is the typical response I get when we talk about sharing our faith. We think we need a class or a seminar or some sort of gathering where we get the how to’s of the whole matter.

But what if we’re making it way too hard? Ok that’s not really supposed to be a question. We ARE making it way too hard. No ifs, ands, or buts about it. Here’s how I know.

This past Sunday I had the chance to go with some friends to a neighboring community. It was a region of our area that was hit with a devastating tornado. They had houses torn apart, swing sets moved from lawn to street, trampolines mangled around trees or at least what was left of them.

We left church on Sunday and went over to lend a hand. But the hand we lent them wasn’t in the form of chainsaws or tool belts. We didn’t move debris, although we were prepared for that. We really didn’t do anything. But we did everything.

Instead of wielding tools and work gloves, we picked up serving spoons and paper plates. We pulled into a driveway of someone we didn’t even know yet and set up a food station that would end up feeding well over 100 people. Some came in person, others sent one to pick up food for a work crew. What we did there was share Jesus but not in the way you might think.

We didn’t hand out promotional gear. We didn’t pass out tracts or pamphlets. We didn’t even use that super corny phrase just like the grace of God this food is free.

No preaching. No teaching. We didn’t even invite them to come to church. That wasn’t the point. Instead of giving them a well thought out 7 point teaching on the highlights of the gospel and what it means for them. We shook their hands. We gave them hugs. We listened to them share their stories. We let them just come and rest for a minute. We gave them Jesus. Jesus with skin on. Jesus that looked like you and me.

There he was right in the middle of the Mac n Cheese. The Messiah and his abundant love for mankind nestled in a pile of Mac n cheese. The Beautiful Savior in hearty stack of brisket. The Prince of Peace in a pulled pork sandwich. Christ in collard greens.

God’s miraculous love and abundant grace were embedded in the simple and mundane foods you can buy at a store. We didn’t overcomplicate the matter. Did these people hear the message of Jesus living, dying and rising? Nope they sure didn’t. Did they see an example of Jesus command to love your neighbor as yourself? You better darn well believe it.

Look here’s the deal. You can hold your evangelism training seminars and convocations to teach people how to share their faith. But really those aren’t necessary at all. If you know two things you can do this anywhere and everywhere you go without much preparation at all. Love God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength – and love your neighbor as yourself.

You don’t need some curriculum out of a box or special speaker to come teach you how to do it. I even believe that doing any of these classes or books just makes it harder and is far more intimidating than Jesus intended it to be. Everyone can be his witness for sure but it really only takes a loving heart, hands willing to serve, genuine compassion for the people around you, and a sacrifice of your time. Let the Spirit do the rest. It’s not your job to much more than that.

Grab a plate of collard greens or pan of brownies. Pour a glass of wine or a couple ounces of bourbon. Light a fire in the pit. Tell a joke. Genuinely give a crap about the people around you. And you just might see how easily Jesus can be transferred to the people around you.

Cracks in Concrete

The church I pastor has a group that meets a couple times a month called Bible and Brew. We meet in a local pub, have a beverage of choice, share life stories, and talk about faith. Every time we get together I’m reminded how important this type of group really is, and it has nothing to do with the beverages!

This particular night one of the guys started us with the question, What does God want from us. Now that’s kind of a loaded question. And I’ll admit, it took every fiber of my being to not go all pastor on the group and try to answer the question. You see that’s the joy of this group. Generally the questions have no real answers, at least nothing that would be always right in every situation. Kind of like what does God want from us, there are hundreds of answers that all could apply perfectly.

As the discussion unfolded however, there was a theme that was starting to come into picture a little more clearly. In a world that is divided, how are we supposed to live. We talked about how political structures divide. We talked about how media has a tendency to sensualize everything only polarizing the divided landscape around us. What does God want from us?

It’s a pretty cool thought actually. When the world around us is divided and broken, how is the church supposed to act? The kind of obvious answer that came out of things was to not be divided. But how does that work?

We looked at passages like Hebrews 10 where the writer says do not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing. Ok so one way we stay undivided is to be together. The more together we experience, the less chance of cracks to come into our lives.

One image we sat on for a bit was the image of concrete. I have a concrete driveway. And as great as a concrete driveway is, there are some issues with concrete. One thing is pretty much certain. Concrete cracks. You’re pretty much not going to stop it from happening. They can put control joints in, you know those fancy lines in sidewalks and cuts in larger slabs. Those are intended not to prevent concrete from cracking but to stop cracks when they happen.

I made a bit of a mistake this year and didn’t fill the cracks in my driveway before winter. If you’re not aware, the little cracks in concrete, if left untreated, will eventually fill with water and in freezing temperatures as the water expands so will the crack. A tiny crack in concrete, if not taken care of immediately can result in some serious damage.

Ok back to the discussion of what does God want from us. I think if we look all over the place in the Bible, we’ll see a very common theme. Unity is kind of a big deal to Jesus. In Jesus’ High Priestly Prayer from John 17, Jesus says that they may be one as we are one. Oneness must be a huge thing. Jesus was kind of wrapping up his entire ministry and he did it by praying for unity in the body of Christ. What does God want from us?

If Jesus prayed for the church to be unified, then I’m pretty sure that’s what God wants from us and for us today. Our discussion was all over the map about unity, not uniformity but unity. We’re not all supposed to be the same or think the same but our purpose and identity is supposed to be tied to the same thing – the gospel. We used illustrations of tractor pulls and locomotives, teams of horses and mathematics lessons.

The long and short was that division isn’t math that God does. He’s not about dividing people. One of the first sermons I preached at the church I now serve was about a wedge. The principle of a wedge is that just the tiniest point of the wedge is all that’s needed to weaken the overall integrity of something. And just like that concrete sidewalk, if a crack is left unattended it can be devastating.

So what is it that unites us? Our common confession is the key. The thing that unites us isn’t a can’t we all just get along mindset, it’s not the sport team we cheer to victory, it’s not the political systems with which we align ourselves. The thing that unites us is the gospel. When the gospel isn’t the focus, when our attention shifts from the power and importance of the gospel, we run a strong risk of cracks popping up in the concrete of our lives.

What does God want? If the answer is unity, then we have to also admit that just like in concrete cracks happen in our daily lives as well. So what do we do when cracks show up? Well, we patch them. Seal them. Watch them closely over time. The same is true for all of us around the table that night. When disunity comes into play in our lives, we need to patch it with the gospel. We need to come back to who we are and what we’re called to be.

If the one thing God wants for us is unity, then we can be certain that coming to him is the best place to find that unity when a crack is discovered. Maybe it’s time to take a closer look at the driveway and patch up some of those cracks so that we may be one just as God is one.

Learning From The Master

As we wrapped up 2023, I took a few of these posts to define Discipleship and discuss what Discipleship was not. Then we looked at the qualifications for being a disciple.

Now that we’ve turned the page on the calendar and have opened up a brand new year of possibilities, it’s time to dig in a little deeper into this idea of discipleship and spiritual formation. This will hopefully be the Friday rhythm for 2024 (only time will tell how well I hold to this schedule).

If we’re going to get started getting serious about discipleship, then we should probably start by taking a look at the master. I mean after all, the only way to be great at something is to follow the one who was the best at it. Right?

And since I’m a pastor and the whole topic of discipleship is a biblical one, you probably already guessed who the master is. But for those of you who are a bit late to the party, his name is Jesus. He kind of wrote the book on discipleship. Literally.

So Jesus was a real guy, very few people argue about that one. And for those of us who call ourselves followers of Jesus, we believe that he was also the Son of God. There’s also some pretty stark evidence to that fact as well. Regardless of what you believe about Jesus, pretty much everyone can agree that he had a pretty stellar way of doing life. I mean, if he wasn’t the Son of God and yet got thousands of people to follow him, then he’s probably pretty good at getting people on board with his way of thinking.

How did he do it? I mean, the whole discipleship thing. Remember the definition I work with is that Discipleship is the process of being transformed into the image of Christ for the sake of others. With that in mind, how did Jesus get the people of his day to actually follow him closely enough to want to do what he did.

Think about the story in the Bible of Jesus walking on the water. He’s out there for a nice evening stroll across the water by himself. His disciples are in the boat trying to get through the head wind, when one of them sees him. Not knowing what was going on and realizing that water walking was not a normal part of life, they kind of freaked out. Then Peter, the kind of rash one, asked Jesus to call him to the water.

Wait! Did you hear that? If it’s you, Jesus, call me to come to you. What would make a man who knows how water works, want to attempt to walk on water? He probably didn’t have the class on the idea of buoyancy, but he still knew that people did not walk on water. So why?

It’s the discipleship done the Jesus way. He didn’t coerce people to follow him. He didn’t bait and switch them. He didn’t try to sell them on anything fancy. He just said Come. Follow me. That’s it.

I think a huge part of discipleship the Jesus way, is about authenticity and integrity. These two words really go hand in hand and will likely make it to the word of the week post in the near future. The long and short of these two ideas is that he was real. He was the same in public and in private. And the disciples saw that. The men and women of his day saw that. And they were attracted to the realism of that way of life. There are plenty of fakes out there, so it makes sense to want to model your life after someone who is real.

The other part of it was that Jesus cared. So much of our discipleship ideology in today’s church culture is about classes and rituals. Not so much with Jesus. He wanted people to know how much he cared. He did it by being where the people were. Getting his hands dirty. Serving the people no one wanted to serve.

If we’re going to learn from the Master and do discipleship the Jesus way, then we need to start with knowing who we are and actually caring about the people in the world around us. If we start with caring, and I mean genuinely caring, then we’ll be leaps and bounds ahead of where we are now. By the way, genuinely caring means we don’t just say we care. It means we do something with that care and compassion. That’s a great start at discipleship the Jesus way.

What Do You Do?

This is one of my least favorite questions ever. Inevitably I get asked this question by someone I’ve recently met or with whom I’m just getting a relationship built. And as soon as this question is answered, the conversation stops. I mean the conversation stops as abruptly as a car hitting a brick wall.

Part of the reason is my title. Some people have the title of CEO and it sounds all spicy and cool. Others have Officer or Engineer or Lead something or another. But my title is scary for some people. What do you do? I’m a pastor.

Insert the sound of a car screeching its tires coming to a stop.

The next thing that happens is one of three options. The least likely is for the person to say something like Oh that’s super cool! I’ve always wanted to know a pastor. Admittedly, this one is so unlikely that it’s never actually happened! But I guess it always could?

The next potential reaction would be for the conversation to just stop and the person to act like I no longer exist. This has actually happened a couple of times. It’s almost as if we’re having a great conversation. They find out I’m a pastor, and then I disappear. It’s like I vanish from their midst and they go on to something else like I’ve been transported through some wormhole into a different dimension of time and space. It’s a very uncomfortable feeling.

The most common reaction I get is Oh wow I’m sorry! As weird as this sounds, it always gives me a chuckle. You’re sorry? Really? For what? It’s not like someone held a gun to my head and told me to be a pastor or else. Actually I had a few people who tried to convince me to do something different with my life. What this question actually means however is Oh crap! I’m so sorry! I know I said something that probably offended you and now you’re going to say some magical phrase that’s going to get me banished to hell forever. Or something close to that anyway.

I think the problem is that people, and by people I mean those not connected to a church and those connected to a church, really don’t know what it means for a person to be a pastor. I don’t intend for that to be demeaning toward people by any means. It’s just most people have a pretty limited view of what a pastor does.

I’m the backside of many of those must be nice to only work one day a week kind of jokes. And yes I do know they are joking. But I also think it does show that many people, again both inside and outside of the church, don’t really know what it is that I do.

What do you do? Ok so let’s hit the obvious. I preach and teach about the Bible on Sunday. That’s kind of the given part of this whole scenario. What most people don’t know however is how long it takes to get ready for a given Sunday. I mean when I stand up front on a Sunday without notes and no cool teleprompter, there are 20+ hours that go into making that a reality. I could skimp on that and lessen the teaching but if I do that I should be fired. Without a script or anything it may look like I’m just winging it, but there’s a lot that goes into those couple of hours on a Sunday.

Add to that, there’s preparing small group material, overseeing other staff members, being a volunteer coordinator for over 150 volunteers throughout the year, party planner for those who want fun events but don’t know how to plan them, ensure that all the wheels are greased and running smoothly. Oh then there’s visiting those who are in hospitals and shut ins. Being involved in the community enough that the community knows we exist and are here for them. Did I mention being somewhat accessible nearly 24-7?

What do you do? Well, I’ve canceled vacations because someone has been on their deathbed. I hear some of the most awful stories of brokenness imaginable. Stories I can’t share with anyone, even my wife, because part of being a pastor is confidentiality and trust. I have to watch people say and do some pretty dumb things and not react too harshly in the moment. (sometimes I’m better at this than others).

What do you do? I get up a 2am when you’re having the worst night of your life. I come to your bedside when you’re terrified. I’m the one standing in the room when your loved one is struggling with their final moments. I’m there to carry you when your marriage is shattered. I shift my schedule to meet with you because you have a day job and my schedule is more flexible. I stand in the room with the lifeless body until the coroner comes. I hold in my emotions so you feel free to unload yours.

What do you do? My favorite is when people tell me they’ve just finished a long 3 week stretch of working 60 hours a week. I mean that can be tiring I’m sure. If I were to log my hours, I’d say more than 3 out of every 4 weeks I’m logging about 60. From time preparing sermons to praying for you, from practicing to preaching, from creating programs to coming in to pinch hit when someone can’t show up, from teaching at least 2 different groups on 2 different topics per week to so many more things that you’re already bored reading this.

What do you do? I carry the spiritual, emotional and at times physical needs of over 250 people. I take it very seriously. If you know me, then you know what I do is give up myself for those +/-250 people. And lest you think this is me complaining, let me be very clear. I choose to do it again year after year, month after month, week after week, day after day.

Being a pastor isn’t just what I do. It’s who I am. It’s not just a job. It’s my very calling. This is what I’ve been made to be. I could do a million other things, but none of them are what God made me to do. What do I do? Well, simply put, I’m a pastor. More than a job, this is my life. And I’m so honored to be able to do all of it.

Are They Even Qualified?

Over the past couple of weeks, splattered between some devotions for Advent, we’ve covered a couple of posts on the idea of discipleship. It’s one of those sticky words and is about a process that’s often left undefined at best. If you haven’t looked at those posts, I’d encourage you to take a quick peak before perusing what follows. Here are a couple links to help you out.

The two posts I referred to above are titled Sticky Words and What Discipleship Is NOT.

Assuming you’ve read those, we’ll continue with the qualifications needed to be a disciple. Here’s the list…

Yep that’s the list. Did you get it all? No you did not miss a paragraph. There is no list of qualifications needed!

If you dig through the Bible you’ll probably see some pretty odd characters being invited to the process of following Jesus. They didn’t come from the same background. They didn’t all have jobs in the church. None of them were people who were super well respected. Most were uneducated. And not a single one of them was the head in their class in seminary.

Discipleship and leadership in the world Jesus lived in had nothing to do with your qualifications. Actually it only had to do with Jesus’ qualifications and your surrender. The disciples that Jesus called to come and follow him were not the prime candidates to change the world! We’d call them the misfits. The B team. The not quite good enoughs. The bottom of the barrel. You get the point.

So if that’s how Jesus gathered his disciples, then why don’t we do it the same way? Or at least in a similar fashion? I think we tend to make things way more complicated than they really have to be.

We make the hurdles higher for people to come into our churches as members than we do for admission into Ivy League colleges. We make leaders and pastors in churches go through enough classes they could be doctors but they aren’t. Now I’m not saying that we go out and just throw everyone into the hopper but perhaps there is a better way? or maybe another way even if it’s not better.

A group I’m part of uses the phrase belong before you believe in a few different scenarios. And I think we could apply this here as well. Look at what Jesus did with his disciples. None of them believed in him when they started to follow! They didn’t even know who he really was, aside from the son of a woman named Mary and guy named Joseph. That’s pretty much it. He was a carpenter’s kid who looked, talked and acted pretty normal from what I understand.

So when he invited them to follow him and be part of his life, he didn’t make them take a test first to see if they got it or not. He invited them to walk with him and shared some pretty amazing life experiences.

Could it really be that easy? Could we really invite people into the journey of a lifetime? Treat them like they are real humans who really belong to something far bigger than themselves without putting up a bunch of hurdles? Then walk with them as the Holy Spirit does his work?

I mean I hate to be the one to break it to you but we don’t really play an active role in the whole believing and transforming gig anyway. That’s the Spirit’s job. So how about we do what we can do and let God sit in the God seat. He’ll take care of the qualification part. We just need to do the loving and relationship piece of the puzzle. It’s really just that easy.

So if we’re going to be really practical here, take a look at your life. Who do you know? Who are the people in your circle? Your barber or hairstylist? The dude at the gym? The girl on the volleyball team? The kid next to you in class? Your neighbor? Yeah even that one, the one who really gets on your nerves. When you make a list of who is in your life, you can see just how many chances there are to enter into these relationships with great intentionality.

After you make that list of your own personal who’s who, hang out with them. Walk with them. Talk with them. Have a beer with them. Sit down for coffee. Don’t preach to them. Just ask how their day is going. Show them how much you care. Show them that they actually belong somewhere. When that relationship is grounded in real care, the next steps will be way easier…and we’ll talk about that in the next post.

What Discipleship Is NOT

We’ll start this post by saying it’s ok if you disagree with me, and I know some of you will. So don’t get your undies in a bunch over it. If you don’t like what I’m about to say, then scroll on and walk away or reach out and we can chat.

Some people in my tradition think that the crux of discipleship is going to worship. Some feel that being in a worship service where the hymnal is used is the best way to make sure discipleship is happening correctly. I’ll be honest. I think this is a ridiculous concept! If someone believes that the best and most effective way to do discipleship is by going to a worship service, then by default you’re saying Jesus didn’t use the best way!

Jesus didn’t invite anyone to “go to worship,” at least I don’t remember seeing that invitation in any of the gospel accounts. Now before you take those words and form some arsenal against me, don’t mix up my words. I did not say worship isn’t good, essential, necessary, etc. I said it’s not the way Jesus did discipleship.

I think a person who is growing in their relationship with Jesus will go to worship and be a part of a larger group of people following Jesus. But I don’t believe going to worship means you’re a disciple of Jesus. I think it means you’re going to worship and that’s it.

Also, discipleship isn’t memorizing your confessional documents either. Sure they’re important to know and really beneficial to help you understand how you do certain things in ministry and church life, but they are not markers of discipleship.

If you remember from an earlier post, the definition I use for discipleship is the process of being transformed into the image of Christ for the sake of others. This definition has at its core transformation of the person through relationships.

Nowhere in the Bible does it say that the function of worship is transformation of the person worshiping. As a matter of fact the Bible says that we are to be transformed by the renewing of our minds. I don’t see the primary function of worship being to renew our minds. Worship is about receiving the gift of forgiveness in the fellowship of other believers and returning praise to God.

Worship is an expression of a life being transformed but it’s not the primary avenue this transformation happens. So how then does discipleship happen?

Well, I’m glad you asked! I don’t like to give a bunch of negatives without giving a little bit of best practice as I’ve seen it. In my mind, discipleship best happens in a setting with a smaller number of people who agree to journey through life together. It’s highly relational. It’s profoundly personal. It’s intentionally individual while at the same time being curiously corporate. Ok that’s enough alliteration.

If we want to see the best way for discipleship to happen, we need look no further than the life of Jesus. He was kind of the master at the whole discipleship gig. He didn’t sit them down in classrooms. Didn’t ask them to read a book. Actually I don’t even think he required bible memorization. From what I read, he invited them to walk with him so he could show them what it looked like.

He did two basic things which we’ll dive into over the next week. He taught them, or maybe better yet, he reminded them what God had said. Then he led them to a place where they could see it in action. And if we want to get really serious about it, we have to admit he made some pretty high expectations known for those who sought to follow him. It’s pretty much that simple.

Knowledge that led to actions which became a set of expectations for a transformed life.

The long and short of this post is that you don’t need some massive ministry plan to make disciples. You don’t technically need to have someone come to a worship service to be part of this journey either. It’s about walking relationally with someone in an adventurous lifestyle keeping Christ at the center. We don’t transform anyone. That’s God’s job. So start with the journey. Start with the relationship and let God handle the God part. It’s a way bigger job than many people think, but it’s way easier than we make it out to be!

Outreach Doesn’t Work

If you’re a church going person then this will likely hit you hard. You probably won’t like these words. And there’s a chance you might be put off by some of what I’m about to say. That doesn’t change it from being true however.

Not liking getting a speeding ticket doesn’t make it so I don’t have to pay for it. It just means I don’t like the harsh realities that stand before me. Sometimes the truth hurts. And lest someone pull a Bible verse out of context speak the truth in love please read what that’s about. It has nothing to do with calling out a misinterpretation or a misunderstanding. Ok with that out of the way, here we go.

I’ve read far too many articles, social media posts, how to bloggers, podcasters and more on the topic of outreach. I’ve heard people ask for the best outreach strategies. Today I read a question about what are the most effective outreach strategies your churches have done.

Sorry friends you’re asking the wrong question because outreach won’t work.

I say this as a former mission and ministry coordinator. I was an outreach pastor. I do outreach events, although very limited few of them. I slowed that way down when I realized I had it backwards.

Outreach does not work!

Look think of it this way. Who is going to come to a church’s outreach event? I mean who attends your VBS? Easter Egg Hunt? Block party? Normally the ones that come are the ones that have a predisposition to the gospel. They’ve already heard the message. Will you get to connect with someone who doesn’t have a church home currently? Maybe? Possibly. But are they people who don’t know Jesus? Are they people who have limited knowledge of the workings of God in their lives? Probably not.

The people who come to church events, even the cool outreach ones, have some acceptance factors built in toward the church already. They’ve already been in a church before. You might be shuffling people around from one church to another. You might gain another face or two. But where are they coming from? Probably, if stats hold true they’re from another church down the road. The church that just got a new pastor or whose pastor isn’t cutting it for them anymore. That’s not the purpose of outreach.

Outreach doesn’t work because it’s not for the purpose we think it is.

Churches tend to want some silver bullet type of outreach strategy. We try to find the one thing that will work across all spectrums, races, economic levels, just simple and easy. Plug and play. Well that actually does exist but it takes work. It’s not quite easy but it’s actually pretty simple.

The best outreach you can do for your church is to not lower expectations. Don’t make it easier to just be a butt in a seat. Do you expect the people who call themselves members of the church to be involved in the life of the church beyond Sunday? Volunteerism? Ministry leadership? Actually doing something?

The Bible doesn’t tell us to be about outreach. It tells us to be about discipleship. If we’d focus on discipleship, you know equipping the saints for works of ministry and all that, then the outreach stuff would happen organically, naturally and constantly!

Please stop looking for the best outreach method when you’re not willing to sink the time and effort into raising up and equipping the men and women that you already have. What makes you think that God will send you new people if you’re not leading the ones you have (parable of talents anyone).

I’m not trying to be snarky and nasty or mean or rude. It’s just quit griping and complaining about how hard life and ministry are if you’re not going to double down on the talent God has given you. Don’t complain about something God never promised. Don’t focus on the things God never told you to make your main focus.

That’s it. Outreach does not work. But working on discipleship has tremendous impacts on outreach.

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