One thing that I absolutely cannot stand is people being fake. It shows a massive lack of integrity and I quite frankly don’t have space in my life for fake people. So why in the world do people pretend to be one thing in one group and then act totally different in another? What would it take for you to just be real, all the time?
In my nearly 46 years of life, I’ve met a lot of people. Some of those people have made an indelible mark, but not all for good reasons. There are some people who come across your life and just make a special handprint on your heart. You can’t really describe it. Something they say. Something they do. There’s just something about them. But what happens when those kinds of people turn out to be, well…fake?
There has been a trend in the past couple of years in many levels of relationships that has been startling. People have abandoned who they were for some new version of who they are today. People have given into some version of change that has shifted their entire being and made them less real.
Now some will say maybe this is who I was the whole time. But that’s rubbish. Which brings me to my first point. The person you really are is the person you gravitate toward internally, not the person you feel you have to be in order to be welcomed into a crowd. All too often we let the crowd determine who we are. We change who we are based on the company we keep. If you have to change to be accepted, then frankly those people aren’t worth your time.
This is where our second point comes in. Be very careful the company you keep. If the company you keep is bringing a significant shift in character or lifestyle, then you might want to give second thought to those so called friends. A real friend is one who is there for you even when you don’t act like them. If you have to change who you are and what you find acceptable to be welcomed into a specific group of people, then it’s pretty likely they don’t care about you at all. They just want something from you. Or they welcome you because of what you add to the group dynamic. When you have served your purpose, they’ll quickly set you aside.
Another aspect of this whole just be real idea is that many people are just weak. If you’re feeling the need to do something you never before would have done or that is questionable relative to your morals, then you’re probably a pretty weak person. Look I know this is going to hit some people the wrong way, and that’s ok. Sometimes you need someone to tell you the truth, even when you don’t like the message. But seriously get some guts.
Something we have tried to instill in our children is the realization that you don’t need to be liked by everyone. There will be people in your life who won’t like what you do or say just because it’s different. That’s ok. Just be you. Be true to who you are. Don’t shift your character because you want to be included, or you’ll end up with a compromised character and no friends in the end. Don’t be one person in public and another in private or you’ll soon not even know who you are anymore. And for crying out loud man up a bit, or woman up works too. Be confident in who you are. You’re not a spineless piece of clay that everyone can mold.
The long and short is that people change over time and that’s to be expected. But when the person you are becoming is the polar opposite of who you once were, then you’re likely headed down a road that will lead to loneliness, destruction, and embarrassment. So how about you just be real and save everyone, including yourself, the trouble.
