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Category: Catalyst (Page 5 of 26)

A catalyst is one that sparks something. The catalyst speaks from experience and enables others to move forward more freely. These articles are written to act as a catalyst in your life.

There Is A Better Way

April 26, 2024 / / 1 Comment

It’s no secret, many churches in the United States are declining or dying. I could spit out some statistics but as soon as I type them it feels like they are invalid. The landscape is changing so rapidly and many don’t know what to do or how to do it.

The social dynamics of our culture have shifted so far and so fast that many don’t even see the church anymore. Someone can drive past a dozen churches in their day and they’ve become largely invisible. And that my friends is not a good thing but it’s our own fault (for the most part).

Now I’m going to say a few things that some are going to want to take out of context. And yes I know the thought here is a tad edgy for some, but stick with me and I really think you might be able to understand where my heart really is.

The world around the church has shift to a different course. It’s like a ship going through the open waters. You turn that wheel just ever so slightly and in a hundred nautical miles, you’re on a totally different course. It doesn’t take much at all to get a large ocean liner off course and totally miss its destination.

The world has shifted its views on marriage, sexuality, medical care, the concept of benevolence, race, gender, and family just to name a handful. What once was unheard of now is the norm in our society.

In the midst of all of this shifting and moving and realignment, where is the church? Largely it’s in the same place it was 60, 70, even 100 years ago. And if I’m being honest that’s terrific and terrible at the same time!

We most certainly need to hold to some never changing truths. We call those the Bible by the way. That we can’t change. That is constant and forever and frankly the only thing we really can count on being consistent. But the way we do church and approach the world and talk to people and interact in our communities…those are all up for grabs.

Now I know some might disagree. Some are likely to think the way we do it needs to look different than how the world goes about living. But I would disagree. I’ve done the church planting gig once upon a time. We gathered in a local watering hole and watched football just like the rest of the guys. I had my seat at the bar where everyone knew my name. I had my regular waiting for me when I sat down on Monday nights. They just knew. I was one of them but at the same time I wasn’t.

It took me a while to earn my seat at that table, or in this case bar. But once I did I was in. And it wasn’t some weird bait and switch tactic either. I genuinely wanted to know the people around me. I cared about their kids and marriages and jobs. And this is where I think we’ve fallen off the rails as the church. We’ve done two things that have gotten us here.

We’ve started caring more about ourselves than those around us. Yep I said it. The church has become in many ways one of the most selfish institutions around. We see people hurting and try to make them believe what we believe before we care for them at all. It’s something Jesus even warned against in the parable of the Good Samaritan. We’ve forgotten what it means to be someone’s neighbor.

Jesus said to love your neighbors. Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, aka do you wrong. I don’t hear a lot of that from the church today. I hear a lot of complaining and grumbling and wanting the world to conform to its way of thinking, but loving the world in tangible ways isn’t really a prevalent theme.

We’ve become known more for what we’re against than what we’re for. We have a litany of things that are not acceptable behaviors for those who are in Christ and we believe the world should mirror those good behaviors. And we’re right. But we’re also wrong.

We have elevated some of our pet sins to get greater screen time than others. You can likely find the ones I’m talking about without thinking too hard. I don’t want to spend a ton of time on this but could you imagine what would happen if we spent time helping people find where their real identity is found instead of condemning them?

If we look at the life of Jesus we see that he was compassionate toward the woman caught in adultery before he told her to change her life. He does this over and over again. Loves the person. Then he shows them a better way. If the church would live the better way, love the outcast, confused, challenged, broken people it really wouldn’t matter how far to one direction or another the world went. We’d be able to love them and stay relevant in their lives.

Look I know this sounds like I’m saying the church has it all wrong so let me end with this. We have the greatest message the world can use right now. We’ve just communicated it in a way that is less than helpful. Why not instead of waiting for the world to come to us, we go to them? Why not instead of making people believe what we believe before we make them feel welcome, we help them gain a sense of belonging then help them understand more fully what we believe?

If you’re a pastor or a church leader or church member, I’d love to chat about specific ways your church can reconnect with its community. There are some practical steps that can be made that won’t compromise your beliefs or confession at all. Would love to connect!

Pie Slinging Problems

April 24, 2024 / / 1 Comment

The tendency, when we face a problem, is to look outside of us for the problem and inside for the solution. We do it all the time actually. It’s the blame game. Something goes wrong and it’s generally someone, or something, else’s fault.

You get to work late, so it’s traffic’s fault. You oversleep. It surely has to be that your alarm didn’t even go off. You can’t stick to a diet. Well it must be that the other people in your house don’t diet the same way you do so you give in just to make them feel better.

This is not a healthy approach to problem solving and it stems from a significant internal issue. There is a better and healthier way to look at things. The problem generally is inside of us while the solution is outside of us.

When we identify the problem as being someone else’s fault, we tend to think we are our own right answer. Going to be late for work? Instead of getting up a little earlier, which often means going to bed a little earlier, we drive a little faster. When the problem is cast onto someone else then the solution is sought by deeper resolve or greater effort.

But what happens if we flip the script on this? What happens when we admit our fault in the problem? Instead of throwing the pie of blame at someone else, we belly up to the table and eat the pie we baked with our own actions.

I unfortunately see this in my life as a pastor as well. It actually happens more often than I’d like to admit. We feel a little dry in our spiritual life. We aren’t getting anything out of church. We feel like the music is meh at best. We don’t like that style or the way he dresses. We don’t like the preaching style or the way she confronted me about that issue (even though I know I’m wrong).

Whatever it is, we all too often react the same way. We cast blame on the other party and leave. We feel like the worship isn’t what we want, so we leave for greener pastures elsewhere. Or we walk away because they are obviously the problem.

The issue is that problem will follow us. The issue is we’re doing it for the wrong reason, with the wrong heart. Maybe it’s not the worship that’s dry? Maybe it’s that our heart isn’t in the right place! Maybe it’s not that we were offended by the way we were called out for something? Maybe it’s that we actually feel guilty. And instead of repenting of these things, it’s easier to just turn and walk away.

But walking away from our brokenness won’t fix it. Blaming someone else for something that really is our problem, won’t make the problem go away. It might delay its effects. It might elongate the time between the problem and the explosion in our lives. But it won’t make it go away.

Isaiah really drives this home in his letter in the Bible. Look some don’t like the Bible because it’s all churchy, whatever that really means. But the Bible is massively practical. Even if you’re not a religious person, I’m sure you can get something very practical out of the things found in the Bible.

Isaiah walks through the life of Israel. He talks about their problems and the many issues they’ve faced in life. Then around chapter 43-44 he starts to show how it’s not that God is the problem. It’s that their heart is the problem. They were offering sacrifices but didn’t really care about them. They were showing up for worship and getting nothing out of it. They were there but not really present.

They were going through the motions! And so do we at times.

Isaiah’s answer…repent and come back. If you’ve run from the problems in life, blaming everyone along the way, then it’s time to stop running. It’s time to turn around, repent/apologize and make amends. It’s time to claim your piece in the pie so you can healthily move on.

If you’re a pie slinger, then you’re really missing out. Some of this pie might be a little bitter, but I can promise you that if you take time to claim your piece of the pie your relationships will be stronger and your life will actually be more fulfilling.

Death Is Blind

April 15, 2024 / / 0 Comments

Tall or short. Fat or skinny. Rich or poor. Black or white. Old or young. Popular or unknown. It really doesn’t matter. Death doesn’t care about any of these things. When it shows up, it’s blind to all of these peripheral matters.

Over the past couple of weeks I’ve been in the presence of death more than I really care to be. From responding to emergency calls as a chaplain with the Sheriff’s office to pastoral care at life’s end for members of the church I serve, I’ve stood toe to toe with death the past two weeks on more than one occasion.

Death doesn’t care what time of day it arrives or who it comes to claim. It just shows up when the time has come. Some are prepared for it whatever that means. While others are totally blindsided by its presence on the doorstep.

One of the calls I received was a total shock to the family while the other was somewhat predicted. One was devastating and heartbreaking, while the other was filled with hope and joy for what was to come. One was calm and peaceful while the other was anything but peaceful. One was young and the other was a life well lived.

The two scenarios couldn’t be much different actually! But they still had something in common. Death came knocking and death seemingly won, at least for the moment.

In life we try to do everything we possibly can to prepare for every possible scenario. We squirrel money away for retirement. We stockpile food for a catastrophe. We have security systems to keep us safe. We even buy life insurance in the event we can’t outrun death when it does show up.

We try so very hard to control the outcome of our actions. We diet and exercise. We get good sleep and have mindfulness times throughout our week. We take vitamins or use those voodoo oils (yeah I said that for some friends but I really mean those essential oil things).

We can be healthy in every aspect of life medically speaking but when death knocks sometimes there’s nothing you can do to stop it. And it really doesn’t care.

The most recent couple of times death has come knocking it hasn’t even been during daylight hours. It wasn’t in the middle of the day when I could break away. It was overnight and interrupted sleep. Death just doesn’t care who it impacts or when or where.

Death is blind, but we don’t have to be. The most recent death I experienced was for a woman who lived a very long life. She died at 104 years old. Just a few months shy of 105 actually! And while death at any age or time really stings, she was ready. She wasn’t blind to death even though it was blind to her.

She was ready, but what does that even mean? You don’t pack a bag to get ready to die. You don’t typically put it in your day planner. But she was ready. She prepared for this day for most of her life. She did it by knowing what death meant for her.

She was a church person, as am I. She knew that death was never meant to be part of her story. But she also knew that since death was one day going to come and find her, she needed to arm herself with the only thing proven to beat death. What beats death? What beats a blind and indiscriminate killer of all?

She knew the only thing she could arm herself with was the promise of the one who died willingly and rose powerfully to give us hope unceasingly. She would always say that her life was mostly good and that the only way life could be fully good was when she was with Jesus. She knew that Jesus was her death defeater. So now she’s not just mostly good. She’s more than mostly good. And I bet she even gave death a little sassy grin because she knew what death forgot. In Jesus, life always wins and that’s more than mostly good!

An Automated Life

April 12, 2024 / / 0 Comments

One thing that is becoming really popular that I’m not sure I’m totally on board with yet is the whole automated lifestyle. I definitely get the convenience factor! But there are some things that are best left to a human. Like driving, especially on the open road! 

I was in Phoenix not too long ago for a conference. We stayed a little farther away from the conference venue putting us in the Tempe area. The hotel was nestled right in the midst of the hustle and bustle of college life.

While walking down the sidewalk on our way to dinner, we were passed by one of those Waymo cars. If you’re not familiar, it’s a self driving car. It’s covered in cameras just about everywhere. It’s honestly pretty ugly, but that’s not the point.

It’s a self driving car! The cameras keep it from running over pedestrians. The mapping system gets you where you need to go with accuracy. But there’s no one in the driver’s seat! That bothers me. Like a lot!

While I’m not a huge fan of automated cars driving through cities or down freeways, I do think there are some things that can be automated to make life a little easier. I like those learning thermostats and automatic lights that you can control through an app. Those are especially cool when someone is watching your house and you decide to have a little fun by blinking lights at them. Really not nice but very funny!

There is a great convenience in the automated world that can be super helpful! I use out of office responders when I’m going to be away from tech for a while. I use template emails to respond to mass email lists. There are some great benefits when using automation, which got me thinking…

Can I automate other parts of my life? The parts that are easy to miss or even skip!

It isn’t really the same as a self driving car or learning thermostat but the principle is similar. What actions can I predetermine to prevent me from dropping the ball later?

A quick example is something my parents taught me growing up. Actually many parents do this! Before going to bed at night, we had to set our clothes out for the next day. This prevented a couple of problems. We weren’t rushing around in the morning. We were guaranteed to have clothes that matched (more of a problem for boys than girls). And the clothes were sure to be school appropriate.

I still do this to this day. I set my clothes out the night before so I can just get up and go in the morning. When I wake up at 4am to get ready for the gym, I don’t want to have to fumble around getting clothes out or forget a change of clothes for work. So I pack a duffle with my clothes for the day and set out gym clothes. Makes life way easier!

You can do this for your meals as well. You can’t automate them unless you do one of those order by mail things, but you can predetermine and prepare ahead of time. If you’re doing a healthy eating kick, you can precook your meals and package them in containers in your fridge making it a simple grab and go in the morning when you leave. I have friends that do freezer meal prep stuff where 3 or 4 of them get together and make a bunch of casseroles and then separate it out into containers to be put in the freezer. Bam automated healthy eating.

The point here is to find what areas in your life you can automate or predetermine. The more of your life you can predetermine, the less likely you’ll be to react in a moment where clarity is lacking. I guess a semi-automated life isn’t all that bad after all!

Decisions

April 11, 2024 / / 0 Comments

We all make them. Pretty much every moment of every day is filled with decisions. Some of us love to make decisions while others have a really hard time making them. But there are some rules when it comes to decision making that might be helpful.

To get things started I want to let you peek into the window of my life. I make decisions all the time. These decisions are mine but at times they are decisions made for others as well.

I decide what time to get up in the morning. I decide what foods I’m going to eat. I decide to get my clothes ready the night before so I don’t get tempted to skip going to the gym. I decide how late I’m going to stay at work and I decide whether or not I’m going to take work home.

Every single one of these decisions are very intentional which means there comes a time when I really don’t want to be making decisions. There are some times in life when I just need a break from making decisions.

We often have a conversation at home about dinner. What do you want for dinner? It’s a question I get asked frequently. My wife is a planner. She plans her day and our meals and many other things! But when I am asked what I want for dinner next Tuesday, tomorrow night or even tonight I generally am zero help. This is in no way a knock on my wife! I love the fact that there’s always something that’s planned for dinner! I just don’t like to make that decision. By the time I get home at night I really don’t want to make another decision. I make decisions all day that impact other people so letting someone else plan my dinner is a welcomed relief! If she plans it, I’ll gladly help make it. I just don’t really care what the meal theme is! And if I’m being totally honest, if I was in charge it would be burgers or steak pretty much on the nightly.

Everything we do is based off of a decision we make. But there’s a rule I follow when it comes to decision making. Ok there are a couple. The first one is pretty simple.

Make your decision then move on it. Don’t second guess it until you have the perspective necessary to evaluate it objectively. There’s a lot there, so here’s a quick unpacking.

So often I see people make decisions and immediately wonder if it was the right decision. They decide what to do and before they can even start moving there is a sense of guilt, confusion, fear and anxiety that overwhelm. It’s almost life stopping.

There’s a line that’s been attributed to a church guy named Martin Luther. The line goes like this If you’re going to sin, sin boldly. The idea is to just go for it. I mean when it comes to decision making, just decide then take action. Stop lallygagging around and dragging your feet. Be confident in the decision you made and take the necessary action to pull it off.

Never make a permanent decision based on a temporary emotion.

This is a big one that I see happen far too often. It’s easy to let the emotion of a moment, generally one of those heated moments filled with anger and hurt, to get in the way of a sensible approach to life.

Someone says something that we aren’t sure we like, so we blast them on social media, disown them as a friend, leave and never look back. We don’t like how things are going at work so we walk into the boss’s office and quit. Or in today’s climate we just don’t show up the next day. We hear someone say something that we feel is edgy or controversial and instead of having an honest conversation about it, we just break the friendship and walk away. We cancel them from our lives and act as if they never existed.

When we lead from our emotions we often open the door for some nasty storms to follow us. And if we’re honest, in the end those decisions have left us in a bit of a vulnerable situation.

So don’t make a decision that can alter your life when you’re in the heat of a moment. Never make a permanent decision in the heat of anger or the dread of fear. Don’t say yes to the guy just because you’re in a moment of desperation for someone and I guess he’ll do because he’s here. Permanent decisions made based on temporary emotions generally don’t work in the long run.

Decisions are critical to life. We have to make them but we have to be very careful that we’re not making rash decisions out of an emotionally turbulent moment.

Mental health is Health 

April 9, 2024 / / 1 Comment

One of the most challenging things in this world is asking for help. Especially if you’re a type A kind of personality. We like to do things our own way and blaze our trail. But sometimes there are situations in life when you just need to ask for help. You know one of those phone a friend kind of moments. 

Ok so let’s start here by assuring you I’m good! This post is a response to a situation I encountered recently where I was the helper not the one being helped. So please don’t get all weird on me. What follows is pretty important and serious stuff.

I’m not going to give any details here because it’s just not appropriate. What I can tell you is your mental health is your health. There was a time when “getting help” or “seeing a counselor” was seen as almost a sign of weakness. But in the past couple of years that has completely flipped. Now it seems like everyone sees a counselor or therapist almost making it seem like a popularity contest. 

But I want to assure you that it is not a contest, your mental health is your health. Getting help for a broken arm or blown appendix or mental stress isn’t weakness! We wouldn’t look down on someone who legit broke a limb if we saw them at the doctor. And on the other side of the coin, we don’t just go hang at the doctor’s office until something really wrong pops up. Health is health whether it’s in your arm, stomach or mind. 

One of my roles in life is that of chaplain for our local sheriff’s office. We see a ton of things in this role! And I never get a call unless it’s the worst day in someone’s life. We get to sit with a family at the tragic loss of a loved one. We go with, or in place of, a deputy to notify a family that their loved one has died. We’re also there for the officers who see some pretty tragic and awful things! 

We’re really there to listen and provide some form of support. It’s honestly what I do as a pastor but in this case it’s for the entire community. I wear a uniform that lets people know I’m with the Sheriff’s office. It’s a volunteer gig so it’s really an extension of the ministry I do at church.

Back to the mental health idea. It’s real! Depression is very real. Our jobs or relationships can cause our minds to take us places we’d never go on our own. The scenarios in which we find ourselves can play tricks on our brains forcing us to see what’s not there and carry a burden that isn’t even ours to carry. 

I’ve seen the aftermath of unchecked depression. I’ve seen the heartbreak left in its wake. I’ve watched as families have to try to recover after a husband or father takes his own life because things just seem too hard. I’ve seen children reeling in pain when their mom thought the only way out was to end her life. Mental Health is your health!

Friends take care of yourself and one another. The long and short of this post is to let you know there’s nothing wrong with getting help. Sometimes just talking through a challenging situation is enough to clear your head and let you move on. Other times you need a longer term relationship with a counselor. And there might even be a time when some form of medication is needed to help take the edge off of the stabbing pain depression causes in your brain.

Whatever the scenario, your pain is yours. Don’t compare it to someone else. Don’t just get over it. Find someone to talk to. Someone who will listen. Someone who can be an honest and balanced source of feedback.

When I enter a home to share the kind of news I share, I spend most of my time sitting silently. When the news is shared, the next thing I do is sit quietly and listen as the survivors go through layers of emotion. There’s nothing magic about it. It’s the simple process of unloading a burden and letting someone else listen.

Your mental health is your health. If you’re battling the demons of depression and anxiety, please stop trying to fight it alone. Look for someone who can sit and listen. Talk through it with someone who will care for you. There are tons of places that have qualified people to provide care for you. Your mental health is your health.

What’s It Gonna Take?

April 3, 2024 / / 0 Comments

As I get older I start to think about the world differently. Some of you are chuckling at that statement. A handful of you are likely rolling your eyes saying what do you mean start to get older you’re already old! While others of you are thinking, just wait til he is my age and then he’ll really start to think about life! Either way this isn’t really about my age but about life perspective.

You see your maturity and perspective is not determined by your age. In life you’ll likely meet the 50 year old who acts like they’re 18. Then turn the corner to find the 13 year old who seems to have their life together far more than most 60 year olds. Trust me I’ve seen both!

The reason here is about perspective. It’s about the things in life that kind of sink into the noggin a bit and make you pause, even if for only a few minutes.

I think much of our lives can be summarized by the motto taken for granted. Really think about the things you do and say and even believe. How much of it do you really give a second thought? And how much is kind of second nature?

You get up in the morning shower, get dressed, and make your coffee. You walk your dog and get your morning chores finished before leaving for work. How much of that did you just do on autopilot? But what if the power is out? Yeah you’ll quickly think about that morning coffee and shower a little differently.

Maybe you walk on a treadmill or jog around your neighborhood or even lift weights. How much of that do you actually think about? Probably not much. When we do something enough times, we just kind of go into autopilot and don’t give life much thought. But add in a small injury and every move gives you pause.

Life can be like that sometimes. We need to have the regular flow of our lives interrupted in order to really see things, even the things right in front of us.

So the question we ask today is What’s it going to take? What’s it going to take to make you take your health seriously? For me it was a ridiculously high cholesterol reading. What’s it going to take to make you adjust your workouts to something more in line with your fitness goals? For me it was a dislocated shoulder. What’s it going to take for you to take your finances seriously? What about your marriage and parenting? Or what about your faith?

The more years I have behind me in this life, the more I realize I’ve probably taken a few things for granted. There have been some moments I needed that proverbial wake up call to shake the cobwebs loose so I can see just how important things are in life. What’s it going to take for you? Don’t wait til you get smacked upside the head with one of those 2x4s of life. Slow down and take seriously the things in your life. You won’t regret it. I can guarantee this one.

An 8 In A World of 9s.

March 20, 2024 / / 1 Comment

Ok so the title here might seem a tad weird. If you don’t know things about personality profiles and especially the enneagram, then this title won’t make sense. Here’s a quick 30,000 foot view of what these numbers are about.

The enneagram system has broken a personality into nine different types. Each of these types means something different. There are types ranging from reformer, to achiever, to challenger and peacemaker.

The personality type associated with the number nine is the peacemaker. This person is fairly easy going, receptive, agreeable, reassuring, and many other things like these. I am not a nine.

This doesn’t mean that I can’t be agreeable. It just means that gaining consensus isn’t the most important thing to me. I’m an eight, which is the challenger. This means that I tend to challenge the status quo. I am willing to try to new things and tackle obstacles without a fully thought out plan.

Now to make matters a tad more interesting, I also have tendencies toward the number three which is the achiever. I get things done. I have a tendency to like to succeed and win while doing it. This combination of a 3 and an 8 has been so lovingly called the bull in the china shop.

Really and truly this person, aka me, is the kind of person who sees something that needs done and makes sure it gets done. Sometimes we get things done with the help of others. Sometimes we do it in spite of others. Sometimes we get things done by plowing over others.

I’m not defending this by any means! I’m just telling you how it often plays out for me.

You see the problem with being an eight/three kind of person is the world isn’t really full of this kind of personality. There are definitely some people out there like me, but if I’m being honest I’m very glad we’re not the majority!

I know this is who I am which is why I surround myself with the people I generally surround myself with people who are not 8/3 kind of people. I generally will find nines, lots and lots of nines, to help me out. I even tend to hire people who are nines. The other personality numbers are important for sure but something I feel the need for in my circle is to surround myself with nines – peacemakers.

Now personally profiling is something that I find super interesting! It helps me know how to talk to someone and how they respond to leadership. It helps get people involved and keep them moving.

Knowing your personality helps you see how you respond when stress hits or when life gets upside-down. For me, and 8/3 kind of person who acts like a bull in a china shop, when stress bombards me I tend to double down and push harder. I can get a little edgy and sometimes a bit hard to be around.

Again, this is not an excuse! I know this about myself which is why I try to curb this part of me. Some days I’m way better at this than others.

Why do I share this?

Being self aware is a tremendous character trait to possess. If you’re not self aware, you can steam roll people and not know it. You can blow up and have no idea why. I’m not perfect at this by any means. That’s not the point here. I am however working on this part of my character.

The more I know me, the more likely I am to be able to curb the outbursts. It’s like Bruce Banner from the Marvel world. Banner is the one that becomes the Hulk, the big green monster. When he becomes more self aware he can stay out of situations that cause him to get angry, thus becoming the green monster with unimaginable strength.

When we can harness our strengths and tame our weaknesses we can become a ton more effective in life and leadership. So what are you? An 8? Maybe a 4? You might even be one of those 9s I was referring to in this post. Whatever you are know yourself and how you react in stress situations, and you’ll be surprised what you can accomplish and how much better life can be for those around you!

Collaboration

March 13, 2024 / / 0 Comments

Every week I try to pick a word that sums up something I’m working on or thinking about in my professional or personal life. This week I’ve been thinking a lot about the idea of collaboration. A simple definition is the action of working together with someone to accomplish a task or product.

Unfortunately, collaboration isn’t always an easy task. We tend to like things our way. Especially those of us who are strong type A personalities and like to drive things forward, it’s hard to slow down to collaborate with others. Equally, there are some who feel they have something to prove. They want to make a name for themselves. They think their way is the best way and anyone who doesn’t do things their way isn’t worthy to be part of any collaborative efforts.

It’s so very unfortunate that collaborative efforts are lacking in so many industries. Whether we feel someone is always out to steal our stuff or like we have something to hide or to prove, thwarting collaboration is detrimental in so many areas.

As a pastor I see this far too often. Churches don’t collaborate on ministry related matters. Three churches in a given area each have a pastor and each have their own ministry and volunteer staff. While this is great, why can’t they work together? Can they share a single staff person among 3 congregations? Can one ministry be replicated in another location to maximize all the time and planning efforts it took?

So often we hide our gems and don’t let anyone see them or use them. We keep our staff close to the vest so no one takes them from us. We are afraid to do ministry in combined settings because we’re afraid the members of one church will like the other church better and we might end up losing them.

I’m sorry but this is kind of ridiculous and purely selfish. To think that I’m the only one who can do a certain thing or that the people at the church I serve can’t get served better by someone else is ludicrous. I don’t chase people. If someone doesn’t feel this is the right place to connect, then I’ll help you find a place that better suits you.

Collaboration in ministry should be the normal way of doing life, but it’s become the thing so many run away from at all costs. Let’s put our heads together and we might actually learn something!

Churches that are thriving can help churches that are declining. Declining churches can help thriving churches understand the dynamics of getting everyone moving in the same direction. We can all learn from one another if we just sideline our prideful motives and lean into the strengths of others.

Focus

March 12, 2024 / / 2 Comments

I recently went to the eye doctor and rediscovered something I’ve known for a while. Yes I have decent eye sight and no I don’t need glasses. He told me two things that weren’t really new but were reminders for me.

The first thing he told me was that my right eye is near-sighted which means I have a harder time seeing things farther away. And while that sounds like a problem, and it would be if I didn’t have my left eye. You see my left eye has just the opposite issue. It’s far sighted which means it sees better farther away. This means, according to my eye doctor, that I have the best possible scenario for someone who’s either near or far sighted. Because I’m both! I told him I’ve always been a bit of an over achiever.

That was met with a slight eye roll and sympathetic laughter.

The second issue he mentioned with regard to my eyes wasn’t about how they can see near or far. The issued I’ve had since I was at least in grade school is that my eyes naturally see wider than narrow. That means when you hold a book and your eyes focus on that book at a normal arm’s length, my eyes have to strain to turn inward to see that book. It doesn’t hurt at all. It’s just a fact that my eyes’ natural center is much farther out than a normal person.

These two conditions combined mean that I have to focus on focusing. Most people don’t have to think about their line of sight or how to focus on a book up close or poster farther away. Not so with me. I have to force my eyes to lock in on a book when I’m hold in it up close. Then I have to make sure I let my left eye focus on objects farther away while I let righty handle that stuff up close.

Ok long intro here I know but stick with me. Focus is a huge thing for many of us. Not as much eye focus as mental focus. Ever have one of those moments when you have to force yourself to tune everything out? Studying for a test and there’s noise from your little brother filling your room? Trying to read a book and the television is on in the background because your spouse isn’t the book worm that you are?

Focus is essential and in a digital world that focus often gets even more challenging. I’ve been on zoom calls when my dog decided that was the perfect time to get the zoomies. If you’re not a dog person, that’s what we call it when the dog takes off running around for no apparent reason and can’t be stopped until she’s totally worn out. Yeah that’s a fun one!

But it’s not just outside noises that cause us to lose focus. We get distracted by the noises filling our heads. Ha that sounds funny. I don’t mean hearing voices, although maybe??? But more the laundry list of things that need done filtering through your mind when you’re trying to do something else.

I find myself doing this probably more than I’d like to admit. Sitting down to read my bible in the morning and my calendar or to do list start yelling at me. Take time to pray for those people in my life who are struggling or celebrating and yep you guessed it. I get distracted by my stomach growling, wondering if I locked my car in the parking lot, realizing I’m getting hungry, wondering if my family will make it to work or school safely. You know all the things that pull my focus away from what I’m trying to do!

Here’s the deal. There are tools that can help you with focus. I had to have glasses that acted like prisms to kind of spread the words on a book outward so my eyes didn’t have to work as hard. Then my eyes learned to adjust so that now I don’t need that anymore.

With practice and an intentional focus on focus, you’ll be able to cut through the clutter of life and see the most important things going on in the moment. So if you struggle with focus like I do, then try this.

  • Give the distraction room for a second. The more you fight the distraction the more distracting it will be. Give it room in your mind for a second to see if it needs your attention or if it can wait.
  • Write it down. After giving it a little breathing room, if you decide your invading thought is valid and needs attention just jot it down on a piece of paper or in the notes app on your phone.
  • Then leave it alone! Refocusing after a foreign invader comes in and derails your meditation can be challenging. After you write it down set the paper or phone aside and try to pick back up.
  • Breathe. Yep you need to do it anyway so why not let your breathing help bring you back to the moment right before you went all ADHD. Take a breath. Calm yourself. Let the distraction just kind of fade into oblivion. I find it helpful to really hone in on breathing in through my nose and out through my mouth. Getting full, deep breaths can be super helpful.

Whatever works for you is the process you should really try. But you’re not allowed to say I can’t focus. You just need to focus on getting focused. The more practice you have focusing through distractions the easier it will be to stay focused when those distractions creep in.

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