living for eternity today

Category: Catalyst (Page 14 of 26)

A catalyst is one that sparks something. The catalyst speaks from experience and enables others to move forward more freely. These articles are written to act as a catalyst in your life.

Never Give Up

I was recently given a book titled Walk In My Combat Boots. It’s a collection of stories from men and women who have served in military service here in the United States. They are from all branches of the United States Military but they had a very common theme. Never give up.

No, they didn’t come right out and say that line. It’s not a quote from anything on the pages of this book, but each story contained a scenario that would have caused most humans at best to freeze in their tracks and give their calling a second thought. However on every page of this book are written the stories of the brave men and women who, even in the face of massive adversity and even probable death, didn’t want to throw in the towel. They wanted to get back to their job. They wanted to go back to the fight. They demanded to get back to their brothers and sisters in arms.

Now some of you are men and women who’ve served, so for you this is likely a part of your thought process still to this day. And for that service, I say thank you. I don’t know all you gave up, but as an Army dad I know in part what that sacrifice looks like in my own son.

But for the rest of us, who’ve never dawned the uniform from any branch of service, I think we’ve grown pretty weak. Ok not all of us but for sure a sweeping generalization that likely would hold water is that we’ve grown so used to our comforts that we’ve grown weak. Giving up is easier than persevering and we know it.

While it’s true that giving up is far easier than pushing through a problem, giving up will leave you empty and cost you far more than the struggle of persevering. The stories contained in this book deal with lost limbs and severely damaged nerves, emotionally torn men and women who should go home for rehab or sit on the sidelines and let someone else fight this one. But in every single account that was not the reaction of these brave men and women.

Put me back in coach! That’s essentially their call. They realized that giving up now would be giving up when they still have something left to offer.

I like to workout, that’s really no secret. And this theme of never give up has been one I’ve wrestled with over the years. Do I give up too soon? Do I have another set in me? Can I do that last pushup? It’s like the old children’s story The Little Engine That Could. When faced with an obstacle that seems insurmountable, what’s your go to mental state? Do you think you can? Or have you already defeated yourself before you even get started?

I think it was Eisenhower who is credit with the quote Whether think you can or you can’t either way you’re right. Ok so the quote is something along those lines. So often our attitude is a self fulfilling prophecy.

The short answer is to never give up. When you think you’re done, you likely have the capacity to do about 40% more. That means you’re quitting at just beyond half of your potential. Think about that the next time you’re ready to throw in the towel on mile 2 of a 5K run. That means you easily have the potential for that run and then some!

I understand that life is hard and that some situations are legit challenge. But throwing in the towel is not an option. Giving up is not the way to make it through.

Your challenge: do just one more. That’s it. Whatever you’re doing that makes you feel like you want to quit, go just one more. One more rep at the gym. One more mile on the treadmill. One more chapter in that book. Telling your child one more time the same exact thing. One more is all it takes to realize you have more in you than you gave yourself credit for all along.

Never give up! It’ll cost you far more if you give up than the pain of pushing through.

Now Why Would You Do That?

I remember vividly the day I came home from school and told my parents that I wanted to be a pastor. I remember the look on their faces. I remember the curious looks in their eyes. I remember them voicing their questions about my choice. They didn’t doubt or try to change my mind by any means. They just seemed taken aback by the difference.

Think about it for a second. Most 6th grade boys don’t come home and tell their parents they want to be a pastor. Generally the job choice of a sixth grade boy is a firefighter, police officer, soldier in the military or something along those lines. But a pastor? Not very typical for sure!

I have to be clear here. My parents have been nothing short of supportive. They have walked alongside me throughout the entire journey of college and seminary (pastor school). They’ve traveled to visit me when I was doing my internship in Colorado. They were there for my first Sunday in the first church I was able to serve in Cincinnati. They’ve attended many services and even to this day drive nearly an hour to come and be a part of the church God has called me to today.

You see their question wasn’t a sign of disagreement. It was a question to make sure I was hearing correctly the call of God. I remember how they responded when I told them. Their response was the question Now why would you do that? We then embarked on a journey to talk about what a pastor did and how they lived and even a very high view of what they got paid.

I told my parents that I’m not doing it for the money. To which my dad replied Yeah but the retirement benefits are out of this world. If you don’t get the humor then you’re not a fan of dad jokes. Retirement for many pastors is when they die. Therefore retirement benefit is heaven. That was his point. So chuckle if you’d like.

Throughout my 20 years as a pastor I’ve tried to maintain one focus. I’ve tried to keep one thing in front of me all the time. I’m not perfect so I don’t do this perfectly either, however I still try daily to keep this focus.

Jesus is my reward. I know it might sound a tad cheesy and all that but a pastor’s salary isn’t always the highest paying job in the world. I remember leaving the car sales world and taking the call to serve where I am currently. My salary was cut in half. I went from a job where the harder I worked the more I made. The greater the hustle the higher the paycheck. To a salary that isn’t affected by the hours worked or the late nights away from family or the heartbreaking losses I see. But that isn’t the point.

Jesus is our reward. Not just for a pastor. Not just for me. But for all of us. When we go through life realizing that our reward isn’t here. Our paycheck, even if it isn’t enough to get all the things we desire, is not what God has in store for us. He cares about our daily needs but even more so he desires for us to know him and to realize just how much we’ve been loved by him.

One of the greatest dangers for pastors and church workers is to compare themselves and the ministry they lead to other churches who’ve seemingly become popular or successful. Doing this only takes your focus off of what is truly important, and in case you still don’t get it – that’s Jesus.

So whether you are president of your company or a custodial artist (aka janitor), Jesus is your greatest reward. Whether you’re raking in a six figure salary or you barely have two nickels to rub together, Jesus is your greatest reward. Whether you serve a congregation of thousands or you have three faithful families showing up every weekend, Jesus is your greatest reward. We need to change some of the metrics a bit to allow us to realize just how big Jesus as our reward truly is.

So why would you do that? Jesus is why we do that.

Would You Please Grow Up

If you have a problem with someone, then tell them. Don’t blast it all over the internet. A keyboard warrior is not a strong person. And to be totally honest, if you have to belittle someone to make yourself feel better, then you’re really not as strong as you assume yourself to be.

Ok so I know I’m typing this on a blog and posting on social. And I know it seems this is contrary to the whole post but there’s a reason. The intent of this article is not to belittle anyone. It’s not to put anyone down. As a matter of fact the intent is to encourage a better way. Not my way. It’s the way we say we believe is right, but are we really living that way right now?

Alright so here’s the background for this post. As I type this there are 20,000 young people all from the larger church body to which I am affiliate gathering in Houston. They’re not there for a worship service. They’re not there to pretend to be a local expression of the church institution. They are there to grow in their knowledge of who Jesus is and along the way realize that they are not alone in this life of faith. They’re singing songs, going to Bible studies, and doing a lot of fun things. All of it in the sweltering heat of Houston.

But while they are doing the singing and growing and learning, there is a group of people who don’t really like this particular method of doing things. And they’re picking apart every little thing that’s happening. The titles used for breakout sessions, songs chosen and artists who wrote them, location choice, even speakers selected for the event. Finding fault in something you’re not attending isn’t in and of itself a problem, but when you feel the need to tear people down for doing something different than you we have a problem.

Here’s the deal if we are going to call ourselves Christians then we need to hold ourselves to the standards of Christ. But that’s not really how things are going. The standards of Christ must supersede our personal desires. And when we talk about the things about which we disagree we must make sure to follow a certain set of guidelines that we get from the Bible and some of our other defining resources.

  1. Primarily we need to talk to the person with whom we have a problem first. This means the burden is on us to find the people who we feel are in the wrong and make sure we understand what happened, address our concern and have a robust dialogue about it.
  2. We do not handle these things publicly. If someone does something that you feel is in the wrong, blasting it on the internet only exacerbates the problem and we get nowhere. Actually we devolve to something far lower than where we started.
  3. Do you know the context? This is a pet peeve of mine. If you’re going to isolate a line from something someone said then you just need to step away. Keep the line in context of what the whole message is. Often when we pull a line out of something someone says, we can make it say whatever we want. Not healthy. Not cool. Not of Jesus.
  4. Check your heart. It seems like in a world filled with keyboard warriors where everyone has the courage to call someone out as long as we don’t have to face them directly, we fall into the trap of exaggerating the case. Just make sure your heart and your intentions are right before you call someone up and have a heart to heart about what you feel.
  5. Don’t be a hypocrite. This one is everywhere. Do you hold someone else to a standard that you don’t apply to yourself? One of the issues some people have with what’s happening in Houston is that some of the songs were written by people that have made some unsavory choices. The solution in their mind is throw it all out. Ok using that same logic you better check your history books a bit. Where do many of the traditions you want the church to follow really come from? Hint: not the bible. Another hint: many are from secular places that were used to worship false idols and we threw Jesus in the mix and made it “holy.” Just be sure that you apply the same standard to yourself that you do to other people.

Look – I think the LCMS Youth Gathering is a fantastic opportunity to allow youth to come together to realize that in a world that seeks to divide the message of the good news of Jesus is there to bring us together. No we don’t all approach things the exact same way. No we don’t all have the same exact dialect and word choice. But I think if I read my Bible correctly, Jesus used current cultural examples and scenarios to talk about the Kingdom of God with people in his day. I’m pretty sure his examples today would use the same approach.

The long and short is simple. Don’t be a jerk. You don’t have to agree with everything that everyone does. YOu’re welcome to voice your concern. But for crying out loud if the church starts blasting its own people, then we should not be surprised when we are left alone leading a cult made up of just ourselves. Jesus called us to disciple people into a different kind of life. This means we should look different than those around us. This means we can do similar things but keep Christ at the core and the world will see the power of the gospel through our interactions. You don’t have to like it. But according to Jesus, you better get yourself right before you start picking at those who are a tad different than you.

I’ve decided to leave the facebook group that has become a keyboard warrior zone. It says it’s confessional but instead it’s just blasting those that don’t look like them. Pretty much acting like the very people Jesus called white washed tombs (people who pretend to have it right but inside are really messed up). It’s time to grow up and face the people you don’t agree with in an effort to understand better. Running away isn’t the answer. Putting them down isn’t the answer. Being a jerk on social media isn’t the answer. Putting the best construction on everything and loving people in Jesus’ name is the answer. So pretty much if i’m going to be blunt, like I normally am, it’s time to grow up and learn how to simply shut up if you can’t be at all constructive.

Everyone Has An F3

Have you ever been in one of those situations where you had to make an immediate decision? One of those emergency type moments when you feel threatened or in danger? It’s in these moments that we have one of three typical reactions. We are pretty aware of the two most common: fight or flight. But the third one is pretty popular and equally important. Flee is the final F in the F3 triangle.

Knowing your F3 response is critical, not just in crazy cases like a zombie apocalypse or a terror attack, but it will help determine how you deal with conflict in general. When you’re called on in class and you don’t like to talk in front of people, your F3 will kick in immediately. When you’re cut off on the free way typically your F3 will take over. When your lost in an unfamiliar city while driving in rush hour, your F3 will default your behavior.

So what do each of these mean for how we react? It might seem like this should be simple knowledge but there are some nuances to each of these that are important.

We’ll start with my personal F3 category – Fight. This is the category that means when the stuff hits the fan, we generally come out swinging. Fight doesn’t just mean literally fighting, actually to the contrary most of the time it’s not a real fight at all. The fight response is one of a reaction. Those of us in this category will generally take fear and try to over compensate for a fear filled moment by becoming bigger than our fear. Fear is essential and dangerous at the same time, which is something we’ll cover in a future post.

The Fight F3 response sees any type of conflict as something that has to be managed, right away. The challenge with this mentality is that we often will shoot from the hip and tend to over react to a scenario we’re facing. If you’re a Fighter on the F3 scale, hit the pause button for a predetermined amount of time. Don’t fire back an email when someone angers you. Don’t react right away to something done to you. Take time to evaluate what type of response will yield the best possible results. Showing someone who’s boss in the moment might give you 60 seconds of satisfaction but in the process you can easily end up hurting someone who cares about you (and all because of what is likely a misunderstanding or overreaction).

The second F3 response is known as Flight. And it is pretty much what it sounds like – you run from the problem. Now don’t get me wrong each of these have their time and place and none of them are inherently wrong in and of themselves, but knowing your default will help you better manage how often you lean into each category. The Flight response means that when any kind of trouble arises you simply walk away, or run away depending on the intensity. And it’s not getting away to avoid unnecessary conflict, it’s running away because you’re too afraid to deal with the problem head on.

The Flight F3 response sees any type of conflict as something you need to avoid and you’ll go out of your way to get as far from it as possible. The challenge here is that in an effort to avoid any type of conflict or have a hard conversation with someone with whom you don’t agree or by whom you feel challenged, you’ll end up losing friendships and causing undue strife in a relationship. Your F3 Flight response could be the reason your circle grows smaller over the years.

Finally the third F3 response type is called Freeze and it means just what it says. When trouble arises the Freeze response makes you unable to move, sometimes literally. Freeze is what happens when you’re so flustered that you can’t make a decision. Your brain becomes so fogged over with what is happening around you that you can’t make a rational decision. So you instead of doing anything (fight or flight) you just do nothing. Literally nothing. This would be the equivalent of seeing a burning building with someone hanging from a window and you not thinking you have the skills to help so you just stand back and watch in terror. Now I’m not saying you should run into the house and put yourself in danger, although that’s what we Fight people would do. But there are other options like call for emergency help!

You see it’s not just the big hairy problems that manifest these F3 response types. It’s the everyday situations as well. We can see it in social media and even friendships in general. Someone says something you don’t like or their opinion doesn’t line up with your opinion so what do you do? Do you lash out at them and get angry? Do you essentially cancel them by walking away from the friendship altogether? Do you sit dumbfounded with no answer or thought at all? None of these are the right way to handle this type of situation and for certain they are not the Christian way to do it. All too often we let our F3 over rule our way of Jesus method of handling problems.

The point here is simply to make you aware of your default so you can better keep it under control. So whether you normally fight, flight or freeze you have the power to adjust your response if you hit the pause button and collect yourself before you lash out, run away or collapse in fear.

Would The REAL Men Please Stand Up

I’m going to not apologize for what follows. I’m not going to apologize because this is my honest assessment of where we are in our world. I’m not going to apologize because I have the right to my opinion just like you have the right to yours. If you don’t agree, that’s totally fine. You’re welcome to form your opinions or reach out to have a robust conversation with me about my personal beliefs and thoughts.

Let’s set the stage. I believe that there are two kinds of people in this world: men and women. These are, in my mind, determined by the genetic make up of the individual. So for all of you science loving people out there, we’ll let science take the driver’s seat on this one. Males have a unique make up of genetic material, namely an “x” and a “y” chromosome that determine the male genetic make up. The female, on the other hand, is made up from two “x” chromosomes. There are many more things that go into the differences between males and females, not to mention the basic plumbing matters, but we’ll let you figure those out in your health classes.

So if there are two genders, namely male and female, how are these two genders to operate in an advanced society like the one in which we live?

This post will deal with the male gender and how we, as men, are to live in the world today. We’ll address the ladies in an upcoming post. So would the real men please stand up!

There are three basic stages of what it means to be a person of the male gender in this world. We’ll call them male-hood, boy-hood and man-hood. Let’s start with male-hood.

The first stage of being someone of this particular gender is really nothing we do. It’s something that is determined for us before we’re even born. It’s the genetic make up of the individual in their mother’s womb. This is the whole “XY” thing I referred to earlier. It deals with the plumbing and all the reproductive details that make a male able to provide the necessary contribution to pregnancy. So male hood isn’t something you do, it’s a marker of who you are as a…dude!

The second stage we’ll call boy-hood. This one is the fun stage for many of us. It deals with the boys and their toys mentality. It’s when we can take anything and make it into a battle field or construction site or weapon. It’s about making noises with our cars and jet engine sounds to match our GI Joe sets. Boy-hood is marked by selfishness however. Most of the time, as boys, we are solely focused on what we want. We want our toys. We want our food at a certain time. We want our new gadgets, new cars, new anything really. We want the biggest, loudest, flashiest things in life. We want the broken things that we can fix to give us a sense of accomplishment. Boys have little to no regard for responsibility. We live at home with no real cares in this world. Boy-hood isn’t marked by age alone because to be quite frank – I know many boys in the world today who happen to be of the age that they should be men but they care too much for themselves to really be called men.

The third stage here is what we call man-hood. This is when a boy realizes that life doesn’t revolve around him. It’s when he begins to put the needs of others before his own. It’s when he realizes that his girlfriend, or wife, is of greater importance than his car, job, home or hobbies. Being a man means we have to be willing to lose a toy or two if it means protecting and providing for those around us.

You see the problem as I see it is that men stopped caring about being men. Many men have become boys again and left their children and wives to handle what they were meant to handle. Men have stopped taking the lead in society, schools and politics. We’ve let the masses tell us what to do. We’ve forced our wives to deal with matters they are fully capable of dealing with but that they shouldn’t have to mess with at all! Ladies this is not a knock on you. You can do anything. I firmly believe that! But I also personally believe that men, if they’re really men and not boys dressing up as men, should be willing to do everything possible to make your lives easier.

In short men we are the reason our society is where it is. We are the reason chaos has enveloped our world. We’re to blame because we stopped standing up for what’s right. We stopped taking responsibility for our actions. We let the world tell us who we could be and what we were allowed to say. Men it’s time to stand up. Hold a door for a lady, not because she can’t hold it herself but because you value that woman as a part of society that deserves to have a door held for her. Men be willing to give up a little something to let those around you know they are valued and loved and cared for in this world. It’s your job and mine to do the hard things so those around us can thrive. Enough of this merely surviving life crap. It’s time to make sure those around us thrive in life, and it starts by putting our childish ways behind us and being the men we were called to be.

Man up guys! Now is the time.

How About We Try Something New?

Growing up my dad used to tell me to close the door to the house when I walked out. He’d say things like “were you born in a barn?” Of course he knew I wasn’t because I’m pretty sure he was there when I was born! The point is the door can’t close itself. The same is true for many other things in our lives. They just don’t do their intended work without some form of help.

It’s the law of physics. You know the whole object in motion tends to stay in motion, object at rest tends to stay at rest concept. But that simple scientific law proves far beyond objects in motion or at rest. It can apply to some of the problems we face as a society today.

Now before you read any further understand very clearly that acts of violence perpetrated on innocent people are wrong. Harming innocent children is wrong. I do not and will not ever condone such behavior. That said we have to make sure we’re approaching things from the right angle. Give me a minute to explain.

Just like the door to my parent’s home didn’t close on its own and my car doesn’t drive itself and the refrigerator door won’t close itself and my new puppy won’t train herself, weapons used in acts of violence don’t work without an outside force acting upon it.

Now depending on which side of the issue you’re landing right now, you’re either thinking right so ban guns or whoa don’t you dare touch my rights to own a gun. And to be totally honest, I’m not interested in either one of those options. Banning guns just won’t work. Stronger laws unfortunately won’t work either. Don’t believe me? Just watch the next construction zone you pass through. Fines are doubled and enforcement is higher, yet people still break the rules. All the time! I’m guilty of it and I would venture to guess you are too.

We’ve banned some substances as illegal and they still find a way into the black market. Stealing is illegal and some people do it. Murder is against the law and yet people find a way to kill others. the point is that evil just always finds a way. Stronger laws won’t change that at all. As a matter of fact stronger laws make us want to break them even more!

I remember my grandma’s cookie jar. I never really cared about the cookies in the jar until she told me that it was too close to dinner time and I had to wait. That’s when I had the craving for a cookie! That’s when I found ways to sneak one of her soft batch cookies when she wasn’t looking. Laws don’t stop people doing wrong things.

Sure they are detergents. They might slow the process down but we can’t just slow down the process of violence. I don’t have all the answers, but what I do know is that if we taught men and women the simple facts of safety and sheer power that a weapon possesses. Teach them how to use it properly. Teach them the value of life for every single person on the planet. Teach them what it means to be kind and respectful. And I don’t mean one time when we’re 16 years old or when we become an adult (whatever that even means).

I’m talking ongoing conversations that value people. Not putting one people group down to make another feel better. But legit walking in our own lanes and valuing one another. If we would sink as much effort into raising our children to be kind and loving people as we do blaming corporations for someone doing something that’s already against the law, we might have a little traction to a better society.

In a recent comment from the White House a question was raised. I’m afraid it was rhetorical but I’m hoping someone actually takes the time to do the research and find an answer. The question basically asked why do these kinds of things happen in America more than any other country? Ok so there are likely a lot of answers that could be possible. But here are a few things I’d throw out there to consider.

What is the single parent rate in each of these other countries? Sorry ladies this is no way disrespectful to you or the role you have in raising children but look at the statistics in our own nation. The more absent the father is in the raising of the children the higher the likelihood of a child getting caught up in activity that is illegal. Just think how many of the mass acts of violence are done by women? Ever wonder why? Boys think they have to act big to be men when they don’t have a good, healthy role model for a father.

The second observation I have is with regard to training. So many other counties around the world have massive training for people to own, carry and keep any form of weapon. I wouldn’t stop at weapons either! As much of a pain in the butt as it would be, I think to get, keep and continue to use your Drivers’ License one should have to retest every 3-5 years. I know it would thoroughly suck, but you’re driving a vehicle that weight a few thousand pounds. Do you know how many people get in accidents every year because the person behind the wheel doesn’t function properly as a driver!?!

Finally, there are several countries that require some level of military service for citizens. I’m not talking mandatory draft for everyone but I really think if we had some level of safety training program in place for the men and women of our country it wouldn’t hurt one little bit! Learn basic self defense. Learn weapon safety. Learn how to work as a unit. Learn how to follow orders and listen to those in authority. There are a ton of things we could learn if we had a nation of citizens with some level of soldier training.

Look I know this isn’t a popular thought for anyone. But a reactive approach isn’t going to help anyone. None of the back and forth between sides of the aisle is going to bring any of these children back. Friends we are leaving our children with a mess. We can and must do better. That’s all there is to it. If you don’t agree with me, I respect that. You are entitled to your opinion. I just know there has to be a different way.

The people of this country are worth it. You are worth it. Our children are worth it.

Mission Driven Metrics

For decades the church has done a relatively decent job at measuring the things that are measurable. Things like church attendance, Sunday School attendance, offerings are the typical measures for a local congregation. But is there a better metric? Is there a metric that better aligns with the present reality of the church life in which we currently exist?

To start with, I want to be clear, that measuring things like attendance and offerings is not a bad thing. As a matter of fact they give us a baseline view of the church. Is the church growing numerically? Are we slowly dying and need to figure out why? So by all means, measure these things. But don’t stop here. There is so much more that we need to be about as churches and this is just the surface.

Are we asking how people are sharing their faith?

Part of the life and ministry of any local church should be built around the idea of sharing stories of faith. If we’re not sharing our faith stories, then how will others know who we are and why we exist? One of the powerhouse metrics is the simple question: with whom have you shared your faith this week?

I know this question seems like an intangible type of metric. It doesn’t measure someone coming through your doors or giving to the mission of the congregation financially, but it measures how much someone buys into the mission by sharing it with someone else.

Do people live differently?

The bible teaches that a follower of Christ is one who is transformed by the renewing of our minds in Christ. This means that we need to look and act different than the world. So how are people in the local church context behaving differently? How are they showing signs of spiritual maturity? What are the men and women of the local church doing that demonstrate their close relationship with Jesus?

In the congregation I am honored to serve, we have a pathway or cycle that we use to measure this kind of life change. We call it our discipleship pathway. I’ve talked about this in other posts but here’s a quick 30,000 foot view of the way we measure and why it works for us. Quick note – do not just copy someone else’s activities or even metrics without knowing why they do it and why it works for them.

Our discipleship pathway is a circle that is constantly repeated and never ending. Kind of like a wheel on a bicycle that spins over and over and over. This is what we’re looking for in the life of followers of Jesus. The wheel has four key quadrants kind of like a pie. These quadrants are worship, grow, serve, and invite. And each of them represent a different way in which people engage in the life of the local church.

Worship is pretty much what you’d expect. It’s engaging in the Sunday morning (or whatever day you worship) experience. It’s going to worship, singing songs, hearing the message, being with others. These are lifelong followers of Jesus and those new to the faith. This number fluctuates based on time of year, cultural norms and key events in people’s lives. This is the attendance number that most churches measure. It’s a good number! But we can’t stop here.

We use the attendance or worship number as a baseline. You see when this number increases, the other numbers should increase in like manner, which brings me to the second stop in our Discipleship Pathway: grow.

Grow is representative of all the public gatherings of people around matters of faith. So for this number we watch Sunday morning Bible class, small groups, and any other gathering of people within the congregation. The point is when the worship numbers increase this number should rise at an equal rate. If these numbers don’t move together, then we have a spiritual health problem.

So measuring the measurables is really important! But we have to look at the whole picture. The point of discipleship is not just about worship. If, as pastors or church leaders, we only measure worship then we’re missing the boat of growing people in Christ. And we’re selling the Christian life drastically short. When I look out at the congregation on a Sunday, it is exciting to see new faces in worship. But even more exciting yet is when I see those same new faces join us for some Bible class or small group activity. Whether it’s an in-person gathering or a virtual one, welcoming new faces into more than just worship is critical to the overall health and vibrancy of a congregation.

Serve is exactly what is sounds like but maybe not where or how you’d think. The next step in the spiritual maturity and overall health of a congregation is breaking the 80/20 rule. I’m sure you’ve heard that in any organization, churches not excluded, 20% of the people do 80% of the work. Well this measure of health addresses this very problem. When a church is healthy and vibrant and the people of the church are spiritually growing and mature, there will be a plethora of servants available to pull off key tasks and start new ministries.

So how this works in our pathway of discipleship is pretty simple. Just like the grow quadrant, when worship increases and participation in grow activities increase those serving in a variety of places in the life of the church should increase at an equal rate. If people aren’t getting involved in acts of service inside the church structure, then you’re starting to notice signs of a consumer driven church and this is not healthy.

Invite is the old evangelism idea with a little twist. In traditional evangelism the idea is just getting someone to go to church. While this is not bad by any stretch of the imagination, it lacks personal relationship. And relationship is critical to what we’re called to be about as Christians. The point here is that we invite people to join us on the very same journey we’ve been on for a time.

When we invite people to come along with us, it keeps us accountable and shows that we have an ownership of the ministry to which we’ve become attached.

There’s no golden ticket on how to measure things in ministry. But the key is we can’t just stop at the easy stuff. Spiritual growth and discipleship are far more than Sunday morning worship. And our metrics need to be about more than butts in seats and bucks in the budget!

It’s Time To Be Bold!

ready, set . . . audacious. | essence7 wellness, LLC

There’s a phrase that is quoted in a variety of circles that says go big or go home. I personally like that statement…a lot! It’s a phrase that reminds us that sometimes we need to be willing to take a bold step before we can see any forward progress. There is a time to be passive and lay back a bit, but there’s also a time when we need to take risks and do the unthinkable, bold things in life.

I know what some of you are thinking, but what if I mess up or fail? But my reply would be, what if you don’t!?

So often in life we have the chance to make big, bold, audacious moves but we don’t for fear of what others will think of us or fear that we’ll mess up. But sometimes we have to just step out and do the crazy things in life.

I read a book recently titled Love Does, by author Bob Goff. The premise of the book is simple actually. Basically he says in a much more eloquent way that talk is cheap and we need to back up our caring for one another with actions not just words.

One of the stories he shares about how love often leads us to do big, crazy and off the wall things was about a young man who wanted to ask his girlfriend to marry him. The long story made short is that this young man approached Goff and asked to use his patio, boat, kitchen and backyard all in an effort to wow his soon to be fiancee. That’s bold, big, and audacious!

We don’t have to go out of our way to use someone else’s property to ask someone out on a date but there are ways that we can step out and be a little audacious ourselves.

Living with an audacious love for the people around us means we put their needs before our wants.

Notice what I said there. Their needs before our wants. This doesn’t mean we go without food or water or the necessities in life. It just means if you know someone else is in need, that you can do without the new car if it means you can help someone in need. You can exchange the $5 coffee for a bag of grounds and make your own.

Along these same lines, we could really use to think a little less of ourselves. If you’re going through life hoping to be recognized by everyone, then you could probably use to be knocked down a tad. An audacious and bold life isn’t one that is found on neon signs but in simple acts of service.

Finally, doing something to make someone else’s life easier even if it makes yours a little harder is living this big, bold, audacious kind of way.

In all these things you need to know your boundaries and limits. Don’t over extend yourself. Don’t let yourself be used. But genuinely put someone else’s needs before your wants and do it with joy. You won’t regret it!

Learn To Fail

No one likes to fail. Well, I’m pretty sure no one does, but I guess there could be that rogue person who just longs to fail at everything they do. Still failing isn’t really all that fun. But, oddly enough, I’m a huge advocate for teaching people how to fail because I firmly believe that failure is the best teacher.

In a former life I was a church planter. That pretty much is a person who desires to see a church started in a given area so they start it from just a seed of a few people. There’s no land, not much money, no formalized group of people, and often not even a building. The goal is over time to build a team to help you build relationships and start a church. Well, as I was building my team to start this would be church, one of the first questions I’d ask people was are you willing to fail.

If a person isn’t willing to fail then they’re sure to never succeed.

I firmly believe if we don’t have a willingness to fail, fear will creep in to the point where we won’t ever really accomplish the things we’re setting out to accomplish. In other words, fear of failing will seize us from taking the necessary risks needed to move forward. This is true on so many levels in our personal and professional lives.

If we are afraid of dropping a weight on ourselves while weight lifting, then we won’t stretch ourselves to lift heavy. If we’re unwilling to fail in a race then we won’t ever run. If we’re not willing to miss out on the promotion, then we likely won’t even apply for the job. There are so many places where failure is critical for success! I know that sounds like a contradiction but think about it.

Ever hear of WD-40? Most people know that it stands for Water Displacer. But the 40 is often lost. It represents the 40th try before getting it right. That means he failed 39 times before coming up with the product he was really trying to make. Thirty-nine failures? Most people would have given up after the third failed attempt. But 39?!?!

You see failure, while it doesn’t teach us the right answer, it always narrows down the field of possibilities. Every failure shows us what not to do. The issue is that most of us don’t research our failures closely enough to find out why they failed.

I have failed more times than I can even count! I know that each failure gets me closer to the real answer. Our system in life doesn’t really allow for failure in many places in life but I think a good leader will give his/her people the freedom to fail. When we teach people how to fail, we truly empower them to succeed.

One last illustration on failure. I can remember vividly learning how to ride a bicycle. I did the training wheel thing for a time but eventually I needed to learn how to balance without those extra (ugly) wheel additions. So my dad held my bike and ran with me as long as he could. But eventually he had to let go. In letting go he enabled me to fail. He was pretty sure that I’d fall but it was in falling off my bike that I learned how important balance really was. If I didn’t fall off my bike (read fail), then I would never have realized how important it is to not look behind you constantly to see if your dad is still holding the seat.

Failure is critical to any area of success. Until we’re able to embrace the failures in life, we’ll never experience the true success of which we’re capable.

Just Zip It

I’ve been wrestling for a while this idea and after some time to let the idea simmer a bit, I decided it just has to be said. It’s simple really. The fact of the matter is that sometimes you don’t need to voice an opinion.

I’m not sure if you realized it or not but there are some pretty charged issues in our world right now. The political landscape is more polarized now than any time I can remember. People have opinions about everything right now! And worse yet, we all feel that our opinion has to be heard because it’s obviously the right one – or so we think.

I’m sitting back watching how many people I know handle some of the news hitting the air waves and I have to say that I’m disappointed and even appalled. We are so quick to offer our thoughts without really thinking through their implications. Yes I know, this is a post that will be shared on social media, so it kind of feels like I’m breaking my own rule here. But there’s no one sided opinion here. I’m just asking you to slow down. Before you hit send, post, or tweet, take a minute to just consider a few things.

Does this need to be said?

Most of the time the things that we offer don’t really need to be said. They are personal feelings that are more intended to harm someone else than build others up. You have the right to your opinion as much as the next person, but be careful that you don’t make it sound like yours is the only opinion that matters. Some things just don’t need to be said.

Is this meant to build up or tear down?

Far too much of what is going around right now in our world is not intended to do anyone any good at all. This is very unfortunate, but it’s true. There’s a saying from the movie Bambi where the little rabbit repeats what he heard from his mom. If you can’t say nothing nice, then don’t say nothing at all. I think we could all learn a lot from this little rabbit. If it’s meant to tear down, break someone apart, or do someone harm then just keep your mouth shut.

Hard truths spoken gently.

There will come a time when you have to speak a hard truth, but you better make sure you’re doing it right. Speak the truth in a way and at a time when it will do the most good. If the matter is private, then keep the conversation quiet. If the matter is public, then still keep the conversation between you and that person quiet. You don’t need to air your, or someone else’s dirty laundry in public. It just isn’t worth it. But when you speak the truth to someone, know that it will very possibly end in a broken friendship. No one likes to be shown errors no matter how much they need to be addressed. Just make sure that you’re having the conversation for the right reason.

Provide an alternative.

There will come a time when you need to take a stand. When that happens make sure you provide an alternative. Every hard decision and hard truth spoken will leave some carnage. And some people will be upset and angry, so one way to deflate and deescalate that problem is to make sure you account for the innocent parties left in the wake. Be kind. Look out for those that no one else is looking out for in the moment. And with more than just words provide for those in the weakest of circumstances.

There are more ways to handle the difficult kinds of situations, but these are just a few of the ways that I’ve found work best when wrestling with the should I say something question. And if you have to think twice about whether or not to post something on a social media platform, then you probably should just not do it. That little voice in your head that’s telling you to not do that is probably a good one to listen to in this moment.

Hope this serves you well and can help in how/when you communicate challenging things to people around you.

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