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Category: Leadership (Page 9 of 19)

Decision Made, Now What?

July 17, 2023 / / 0 Comments

Throughout the past couple of weeks we’ve navigated making hard decisions and how to weigh your options to make the best decision possible. We’ve looked at how other people react and what questions you answer. And we did all of it based on the idea of a pastor receiving a call to a new church. Although many of the points are relatable across situations.

Today we look at what happens next? I mean what happens after you make your decision and make it public? What do you do? How do you do it?

The short answer is you move forward. Whichever direction you choose, whether it’s staying where you are or making a necessary shift, you just go and don’t look back.

The temptation will be in some cases to play the whole what if game? You know the what if I made the other decision? What if I chose the other option? What if I went through the other door? But that game won’t really benefit you at all. It won’t do you any good to sit and ponder over and over again something that just wasn’t meant to be.

The best thing to do now that you’ve made your decision is to move ahead with whatever transition plan you’ve established. If you’re staying then you need to transition back to the vision of the group you’re leading, or cast a new one. If you’re leaving, then make the necessary shifts to get packed and move on.

Do not linger in this process as it only makes things harder. Especially if you’re leaving a place where you are fairly well connected, you want to make sure to take time for healthy farewells but make it swift.

In my case, I decided that it was clear that I needed to stay where I am. That decision really didn’t have anything to do with the other church. It was all about what I really believed was still here in front of me. But as I made the decision, I alerted the other church and all the other necessary people. I made my announcement. We prayed for the new friends I made throughout this process. And now we get back to work. I won’t forget the people I encountered along the way. And I won’t stop praying for them, but I know that I am not the one God called to be their pastor.

The long and short of things is that we move on. We hit the ground and get back to work. Cherish the steps along the path. Hold the friendships close. But there is something in front of you here that needs done. Now’s the time to get to it.

Now as you’re moving forward, look for the next decision that needs made and you start the process all over again using what you learned about yourself in this process.

Have We Lost Our Voice?

July 12, 2023 / / 0 Comments

Your voice is something that’s easily taken for granted. I mean how often do we stop and think wow I’m sure glad I have my voice today? It’s not until we get laryngitis or a sore throat that we start to think about the sound of our voice. It’s generally not until it’s going away, or even gone, that we start to realize the importance of our voice. But I think we might be losing our voice.

For generations in our history, we’ve had to use our voices. From yelling out the front door that dinner is ready to talking to the clerk at the grocery, we had to use our voices. We had to speak and listen. Conversations were the norm for our society.

But something happened in the not too distant past. We let our voice grow quiet. And I fear some have altogether lost their voice.

It started with the telegraph then the radio and television, but quickly moved on to computers and phones and now all things virtual. You can live much of your life totally on the grid and yet not interact with another human vocally. I get it though. Some days we get that whole I can’t people today feeling. (I actually have a shirt with that quote.)

But what happens when we give up our voice?

When we give up our voice, we let someone speak for us. I remember when my grandparents were struggling with end of life issues related to Alzheimer’s disease. My mom had to be their voice. When one person gives up or loses their voice, someone else speaks for them. And if you don’t trust that person, it can be dangerous!

We’ve given up our voice in so many ways. I watch kids and the tendency to gravitate toward their phones or devices instead of interacting with real, live humans in front of them. I watch as someone would rather send a text or email instead of making a call or stopping in for a visit. When we give up, or lose our voice someone speaks for us and it often doesn’t end well. Even if the voice people hear is an assumption they’ve created!

If you look around you can see it everywhere. Parents have given up their voices to let the schools raise their children. Men and women have given up their voices at the polls because they think their voice won’t count. Even in churches we see people forfeiting their voices to praise teams or choirs.

As a pastor it’s so hard to look at the members of the church and see so many with arms folded and lips held tight. You have a voice! Use it! Or someone will speak for you. And if you don’t speak up, you can’t be mad that the outcome isn’t what you want.

We are in a really important time in history. There will never be another today. The decisions we make today will affect our kids forever. The way we use, or don’t use, our voices in these moments will set in motion the path for the future of society. I know it sounds heavy but it is!

It’s time to stand up for what we believe in. Disagree if you must but do it in an agreeable fashion. Respect other opinions but voice your own. We need to claim the voice we’ve been given and speak. And it has to start today.

No one can take your voice as long as you’re using it. So use it!

Am I Done?

July 11, 2023 / / 1 Comment

Ok…so it’s pretty common knowledge that I am a pastor. And it’s also probably not a secret that this is all I really know how to do – be a pastor that is. Something that’s no secret but maybe not known by everyone is that I recently received a call to serve as pastor of another church in a suburb of Detroit.

I understand that the idea of receiving a call isn’t a normal concept so here’s a quick explanation. In the corporate world there are head hunters who pretty much go around seeking people perfect for the opening in a specific company. They have a list of skills and items that need done and their job is to find the right person to get those jobs done.

Well in a call it’s kind of like that but not…all at the same time. In church world, at least in the church body to which I belong, when a church is in need of a pastor they gather a team of people to evaluate the church’s needs, strengths, and weaknesses. Then they match that with pastors around the church body who have interests and skills where the church has needs. And they extend an offer for that position to the appropriate candidate.

Where this is different than a typical corporate head hunter though is that we believe this position is really coming from God through the local church. So when a church needs a pastor they should be spending considerable time praying through the options available to them and extending a call based on where they feel God leading them to go.

This brings me to the title for this post – am I done? This is the question the pastor must ask when he receives a call to a new location. And this is the very question I’ve been wresting with for the past couple of weeks.

Have I taken the church I’m serving as far as I am able to take them? Am I hindering their forward momentum? Am I preventing them from growing both wider in their reach and deeper in their faith? Have I outstayed my welcome? Ok not really welcome but outstayed my capacity for leadership and discipling of the people.

This is a hard question to be certain. And the really hard part is removing emotions from the mix. It would be easy to say I have friends here so I’m not going anywhere. But that’s not really what the call is about. Actually that’s what makes the call of a pastor different from the hiring of a manger or employee. We don’t, or shouldn’t, stay or go because of friends or extended family. Sure we take others into consideration, but the decision is based on is God done with me here.

Throughout this process I’ve spent far more time listening than talking. I’ve asked far more questions of myself, the people around me, and my family than I have provided answers. I’ve called on men and women with whom I’ve surrounded myself in an effort to hear God’s voice through the wise counsel around me.

It’s not an easy process! Considering and praying through a call does NOT mean anything negative about the people I work with and serve daily. It just means that I need to be open to the possibility that God has something else in mind…something better for His kingdom. For me that’s the whole point of this discernment process. Is God done with me here? What is the best option for His Kingdom?

So for now we wrestle with the question am I done here. I now wait in prayer that God provides a clear answer and the comfort and confidence to boldly step in whichever direction he has for me to step.

Can you help me?

June 22, 2023 / / 0 Comments

Getting volunteers to commit to something is getting more challenging in several parts of our society. I’m not sure why it is but it seems people are more apprehensive about serving while at the same time demanding more places to be able to serve. It’s kind of confusing to be honest.

The issue is however that we need volunteers. We need places and spaces to serve and lend a hand. It’s really the only thing that keeps us from being egotistical and arrogant turds. The more we focus on ourselves the less we focus on others and the more self centered we become. It’s a nasty cycle to say the least.

There is a problem however. In the last post I talked about two filters I use when I look at the volunteerism crisis in churches and non profits. You can read that here. In this post, I promised to give you a way that really seems to work amazingly well when it comes to asking for volunteers. And to make matters even better, it’s super easy! At least it should be easy.

It all starts with why.

When I go about asking for volunteers, I only use two sets of parameters. The first is why you and the second is what I’m asking you to do. It’s really that simple. But it all starts with why.

Before you go into what you want them to do, you have to know who they are. This means that you have to have relationships with the people around you. Know their likes and dislikes, passions and fears. You don’t have to know everything about them but just observe. Are they good with kids? Do they freak out when a child walks in the room? Are they color blind? Are they great with grammar? Or are they unable to spell? Can they sing or are they generous? What about hospitality or compassion?

These are the things we have to look for in the people around us. When we know what gifts people have, it becomes far easier to help them find a place to plug in. So the starting point is to answer a simple question. What do you see in this person that makes you think they’d be right for this job?

When you can answer that question with 3-5 concrete examples, then you’re in the right place. Be very careful however that this isn’t some stupid love fest just to butter someone up and then whack them with an if you really care about the church you’ll serve bunch of nonsense. We’re not talking bait and switch. This is a genuine, honest assessment of who they are from your perspective. So lead with those 3-5 concrete examples of what you see in them.

Would you be interested?

The second step is the ask. So after you’ve told them what you see in them and how they interact with others. After you’ve given them all the reasons that you feel they are a wonderful blessing to your organization, then you ask them if they’d prayerfully consider putting those wonderful gifts to use in this specific area.

You will never get them to plug in if you don’t just ask them. But the beauty here is that once you have gone the distance of really thinking through who they are, asking will be so much easier. It’s a natural fit if you’ve done the first step right.

Is no still an option? Absolutely! And you have to be ok with that reality. But the amazing part of this approach is that when you start by identifying what you see in the other person, even if they say no they’ve been blessed by your comments. Even a no is a work of blessing in their life as they leave the conversation filled by the words you shared.

There’s no golden ticket to getting people engaged in a next level manner. We just need to work diligently at building relationships with the people we serve, communicating what we see in them, and walking alongside them as they grow and deepen their commitment.

Where are all the volunteers?

June 21, 2023 / / 0 Comments

If you are part of a nonprofit or a church, then there’s a pretty good chance you have noticed a trend. To put it mildly volunteerism is down. There are a lot of things that have happened to get us to where we are currently. We could get all teary eyed over the way it used to be but that’s really not going to be of any value at all. I’m less the sit and whine type and more the let’s find a solution type, so let’s get to it.

Before we throw out a simple one – two punch of what seems to be working, it’s important to say that you first of all need to know your organization and culture. Don’t just grab something that someone else is doing and apply it assuming it will work. There has to be some sort of local cultural connection that makes it stick to your context. But there are some basic principles that I feel are transferable. Here are my two key filters when it comes to volunteerism.

Raise The Bar

The first thing I would say is that we need to raise the bar. And I know it sounds counterintuitive, but stick with me here. I look at this one like the whole chicken and egg scenario (which came first). Is it that people aren’t connecting so we lowered the bar, or we lowered the bar of expectations and now people aren’t connecting?

I think it’s a little bit of both but the lower we move the bar the less people will actually get involved. Think of it this way. When you tell a child to clean up their room, rarely will they not only clean the room but also volunteer to clean up the basement, toy room, and siblings rooms as well. We don’t usually do more than is expected. So if we keep the expectations high, then we allow a greater possibility for those we serve to stay heavily engaged.

Practically speaking, we have to set expectations for how much we want from the people we lead/serve. In the congregation I serve, we have a very clear set of expectations for everyone. The rule of the day is that everyone does something. Not everyone likes this mentality. As a matter of fact, I’ve talked to people connected to our congregation who didn’t want to get involved. They said they wanted to rest and not serve. Well unfortunately that’s not how it works. You can lessen your engagement but you can’t disconnect from service. Just not possible. Your hand can’t fall off your body for a few days because it’s tired, and still function properly. In the same way, you and I can’t disconnect from the organization where we belong and expect for all to be well forever.

We’ve even had to release people from the church because they did not see this as an important part of their lives. And to be honest, that’s ok. I’ve connected people who do not see service as important with other congregations who don’t put as high an emphasis on service as we do. And I pray that they are able to connect well in those locations!

So set the bar high and allow the people in your organization to move to a place of ownership and intentional, dedicated service.

Short Term Is Key

This is another problem I see many non profits and churches making. They make service in the organization seem like a lifelong commitment! From term limits to number of terms you’re able to serve, it just seems like we’re more interested in filling a role than actually connecting someone with their passion for the purpose of promoting their individual thriving. So we keep commitments short.

We only have two groups with terms and limits. They are our leadership team and board of elders. Aside from these two groups, we have no boards or committees or anything of the sort. Instead we have task forces or teams for the purpose of accomplishing a goal. When that goal is achieved, then they are able to go about business as usual or plug in somewhere else.

From Vacation Bible School to fall parties to trunk or treat to Christmas parade decorating, there are tons of ways a person can serve the church without standing in front of people or being a long term commitment.

Have short term service teams that are easy to onboard. This will allow people to jump on the service train at their interest and ability level and jump off the train when they need to without feeling super guilty.

I know this all sounds too simple to be true, but in the congregation I serve we have over a 90% involvement rate by those who call themselves members of the church.

Look it’s not magic and I’m not perfect at this by any means, but it’s also not impossible. Getting people involved and into service can be significantly easier than we might have imagined. It just takes reworking some definitions and reframing our mindset when it comes to volunteers!

In the next post I’ll give you a way that works wonders when it comes to seeking out and asking those volunteers that takes the pressure off of everyone. But for now step back and check your expectations and terms of involvement. Do they make it too hard to serve or not valuable enough? That’s something you can control easily.

Communication and Gardening

June 15, 2023 / / 0 Comments

As some may know, my family now lives on over 12 acres of land. Some of that land is farmed while the rest is where our house sits. On the portion where our house sits, we currently have a garden that is bigger than the backyard at our previous home. It’s fantastic! I’ve planted carrots, onions, potatoes, beans, peas, tomatoes, cucumbers, cantaloupe, zucchini, sweet potatoes, pumpkins and several rows of sweet corn. I grew 99% of these plants from seeds in my basement grow room.

There were a few things I direct planted in the garden, like the sweet corn. I love me some good sweet corn in the summer months. And we even stagger planted so, Lord willing, we’ll have a crop that lasts for a longer duration. We are very much looking forward to freezing, canning, and all the things to better live off the land we have.

But in this whole process of gardening, something has kind of stood out to me. Not every seed grows. They all come from the same packet but not all of them grow. I planted several rows of corn but I have a few bare spots where the seed just simply didn’t germinate. How can that be? I planted them on the same day, in the same garden, with the same sunlight and same water pattern and all of them from the same packet! Yet about half a row just isn’t coming up.

The problem isn’t the amount of water nor sunlight. It’s not a matter of bad seeds either. The problem is…the soil. It’s the only thing that could possibly be wrong. It’s the only thing that could have variations in it. It’s really the only variable that I wasn’t able to control.

This reminds me a lot of communication! Have you ever said something to someone only to have them explode like a brick of C4? The words you said weren’t wrong or even mean spirited. They were just heard wrong. They fell on some bad soil.

If you’ve been on the giving end of a conversation that quickly turned to the receiving end of a mean spirited rebuttal or an out of character move, then you’ve been a witness to some bad soil. It’s unfortunate that the way someone hears something can so quickly change the tone of a conversation not to mention ruin an entire relationship.

But just like those corn seeds that I place in the garden have since become unusable, that’s what happens in some relationships when the soil of someone’s heart isn’t healthy. No matter what we say or how we say it, the seed won’t grow. The conversation will be heated. Feelings will become unnecessarily hurt. And in worst case scenarios, the relationship will be rotten.

Look, this is not a golden ticket to be a jerk. But it is the realization that no matter how hard you try or how good your intentions might be, some people are just living in a spot of bad soil. And unfortunately there’s nothing you can do to change the soil of someone’s heart.

So be kind. Talk gently. Be honest. Tell the truth. But know, that even if you take all of these precautions, some people just have something in their soil that you might not be able to overcome.

Now That’s Offensive

June 1, 2023 / / 0 Comments

The word offensive is one of my least favorite words these days. I don’t mean the offensive line in football either. I’m talking about using the word to describe how something that someone does has made us feel. It’s saying things like:

I’m offended…That’s offensive…

I believe our capacity for being offended has grown exponentially! It’s almost as if we live in a society that thrives on being offended. You stand up for what you think is right, someone is offended. You just voice your opinion, someone gets offended. You tell a friend that something isn’t quite right about their actions, yep someone gets offended!

The greater our capacity for offense becomes, the lower we value our relationships. I’ve lost more than one friend in recent years because they took offense by something they didn’t want to hear. This goes for churched people, not churched people, old people, young people, people on either side of the political aisle. We are living in a culture that is trying to thrive on being offended. But there’s a better way…a much better way.

We need a capacity to forgive that’s greater than our capacity for offense.

If you constantly find yourself getting all bent out of shape over the smallest things, then maybe you need to work on your capacity for forgiveness. Now I know that I’m a church guy and forgiveness is part of our vocabulary but everyone is capable of forgiving. But forgiving isn’t saying that everything is ok or it’s no big deal. Forgiveness is not giving the other person the control over your emotions or thoughts. It’s actually the exact opposite of being offended. When we’re offended, we’re letting someone else control our thoughts and emotional response.

As believers in Jesus, we need to really ask ourselves the hard question. Is our capacity for offense greater than our capacity for forgiveness? If the answer here is yes then we have a gigantic problem! The problem is that we’re not living in the sweet spot of our identity. As Christians our identity is found in the fact that we are forgiven people.

The more we understand our own forgiveness, the more we’ll be able to offer that same forgiveness to those around us. It’s ok to not like what someone else says, but you can’t let that change how you see them. It’s ok to get angry when someone does something that hurts you. But it’s not ok to just cancel them from your life because you’re not strong enough to handle a hard conversation.

If we don’t expand our capacity for forgiveness, we’ll live in a constant state of offense. And that is not a healthy or happy place to live.

How To Get Volunteers

May 24, 2023 / / 0 Comments

Ever have one of those jobs that needed a volunteer or two or ten? Ever have trouble trying to get enough volunteers to fill the roles you need to fill? I’ve used a very specific method for obtaining and keeping volunteers that has proven to work pretty well for me the past 10 years. If needing volunteers isn’t your thing, then you’re welcome to just move on.

So at the outset here I need to come clean. I’m a pastor and as any pastor or non profit leader can attest, getting volunteers is sometimes a challenge. Actually, statistics show that volunteerism is on the decline across the board for non profits and churches. Another admission, at the church where I serve as pastor, we haven’t noticed that decline in volunteerism. How do we do it? Pretty simple. We have three simple things to keep in mind.

Keep commitments short term

Gone are the days when we can ask someone to serve on a board or committee for years on end. Gone are the days when someone wants to be tied down to a commitment for an extended period of time. This is why we form teams to complete tasks. We call them ministry teams, but you can use whatever designation want. We don’t do boards or committees but action teams because action is what we’re after! Boards are often boring and committees look like people are in comas! Teams have to function together for the time it takes to get the job done.

One example of this is our team that pulls off a fall outreach event. We call our event Fall FunFest. This is a pretty big event for the size church we are. The event has 4-5 key leaders, each with a designated area of responsibility. They form their own teams to get their tasks done. The beauty is when FunFest is over, so is your commitment to this particular team. This frees them up to serve somewhere else or sit back and chill for a bit.

Say Thank You!

This one is pretty significant. Let people know you appreciate their service to the team. This can be as big or small as you want. I’ve used a passing word, a public affirmation, an email, phone call, and often I’ll use a hand written note sent through the snail mail. Just acknowledge the work of your volunteers because if they feel appreciated, not only will they be more likely to volunteer again but also they’ll be great recruiters!

Tell Them Why Them

This is the big one for me and it’s not original to me. A buddy told me to try something and it has worked magnificently! The idea is simple. Tell them why you chose them. If you can’t answer that, then you shouldn’t be asking them. So often we ask someone because they have a pulse or don’t think they can tell us no. These are not good reasons! They are not acceptable.

The trick here is to tell people 3-5 things you see in them that make them a perfect fit for the task you have in mind. This does two really important things. First, it lets them know you value them as a person. In order for you to tell them why you think they’re good for the job you have to know who they are. You’re essentially telling them what you see them bringing to the table. For me it’s really about giving them 3-5 blessings whether they say yes or no.

The second thing this accomplishes is simply to reframe your own mind. This process turns this away from simply asking someone to fill a position but engaging with someone as a human and demonstrating care for them.

These are just a couple of the lessons learned through the past years of volunteer recruitment. What’s worked for you?

Mindset

May 17, 2023 / / 0 Comments

There has been a lot of ink spilled in books and articles on the idea of changing your mindset. Some call it self help. Others call it mind over matter. Some think it’s the best advice ever while others think it’s all a bunch of hocus pocus superstition. But if you really take time to think about it, what you think about and how you think about it affects how you approach something.

There’s a quote attributed to Henry Ford that says whether you believe you can or you can’t, either way you’re right.

The idea here is that of a self promoting or defeating mindset. Yeah I know, sounds kind of wizardish at first. It sounds like saying if we think about something one way then it’s sure to happen that way? Kind of but not really.

Think about the last time you didn’t feel well. There are two ways to react when you’re not feeling 100%. No I’m not talking about death bed feeling bad. I’m referring to the crummy, I have a cold and don’t want to do anything kind of feeling. If you’ve ever had one of those feverish, tired, achy kind of moments, did you realize that the more you just laid around and thought about feeling crummy the worse you actually felt? Then when you had something to distract you and take your mind off of the crummy feeling, you almost felt normal for a moment? Yep that’s what Ford was getting at I think.

There is a really powerful thing that happens in our brain. When we don’t think we can do something and when that’s the focus of our attention, then we pretty much set ourselves up for failure.

I love to workout. I like to throw heavy weight around. So I’m not a big dude by any stretch and I’m not a powerlifter or anything like that. But once upon a time I maxed out my benchpress at 350lbs. And I remember the first time I tried it. I got all settled and grabbed the barbell then told myself there is no way you’re going to lift this. It is way too heavy. You weigh less than half this amount.

Guess what…I didn’t lift it. It was too heavy. The moral here is that we can convince ourselves that something is impossible or too much or too hard or whatever the case may be.

So what’s holding you back? What are you wanting to do that you just can’t accomplish? What is it that you have been dreading? If we follow the mindset shift analogy, then we can approach things a bit differently and actually make a real effort to get the job done. Be honest with yourself but don’t sell yourself short. Change your mindset and watch as the possibilities open up!

Margin

April 27, 2023 / / 0 Comments

If you’re a reader, then you know what margin is. It’s the space we see around the edges of a book or paper. It’s the white space that lets our eyes rest so we don’t have to read from edge to edge on a piece of paper. Margin in a book is extremely helpful, and is equally necessary in our day to day lives.

I’m currently sitting at my computer trying to focus through some mental fog. Mental fog happens when we’re pushing into the margins or when we’re recovering from illness or suffering from exhaustion. For me, it’s the second on the list. Mental fog induced by illness and medication. It’s the whole medicine head feeling and I can’t stand it! But what does this have to do with margin?

Well sometimes we find ourselves living in the margins of life and something has to happen to get us to slow down and leave some white space. This is pretty much what happened to me. I have a tendency to live life at a 100mph pace. It’s constantly a go…go…go…scenario. From church to family to home to property matters to membership issues to community engagement to social life there are so many things that pull for our attention and it’s easy to find ourselves living in the margins of life.

So the question is do you have breathing room in your life? Have you created and protected space in your life for margin? Or have you scheduled your life so tightly and so completely that you have no room to add anything additional?

Living life without margin is dangerous. It’s dangerous because we weren’t created to live without it. We were created for a healthy give and take between work and rest. We were created to rest from our work and work from our rest. But when we fill the white space in our lives, leaving no room for rest, then we’re not able to recover and get back to the stuff of productivity.

There are plenty of ways to preserve margin in life. You just have to make it a priority. Margin can look like 15 extra minutes between appointments. Adding 10 minutes to your estimated drive time so you don’t have to rush. Scheduling a block of time for recovery or study time or a nap.

Now I know what some of you are thinking. You don’t nap. And well I really don’t either but some people find a nap superbly rejuvenating. There are actually studies that show a 26 minute nap can essentially reset your day and start your productivity clock over again. That means if you can carve our 26 minutes to completely disconnect and shutdown to nap, you can haver two day’s worth of productivity in one day!

You see when we don’t preserve our margin, something will happen to force that reset. For me it generally comes with migraines of in the latest case a dose of illness to knock me off my feet for about 10 days. It sucks to say the least.

So take it from me, you can save a lot of downtime and exhaustion by just carving out some margin and preserving it like your life depended on it…because it kind of does!

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