
Somewhere along the way, the message of the Church has changed. Not the message of the gospel – the message of the church. The image the church portrays to her members and the community. At some point we exchanged the rugged faith of warriors, prophets, and apostles and it became something tame—soft, sentimental, and, frankly, uninspiring to many men. And the result? A mass exodus of men from leadership in the church.
Jesus Wasn’t a Nice Guy—He Was a King and a Warrior
In case you’re unaware, Jesus wasn’t some passive, mild-mannered guru preaching niceties. He was bold, confrontational, and fearless. He flipped tables (John 2:15, ESV). He rebuked hypocrites with fire in His words (Matthew 23:33, ESV). He faced torture and even death without flinching (Luke 22:42, ESV). The biblical picture of Jesus is of a leader who called men to die to themselves and take up their cross (Luke 9:23, ESV)—not to sit quietly and be passive.
Yet, in many churches today, the message has been neutered. Sermons focus on being “safe,” “kind,” and “inclusive,” while avoiding the reality of spiritual warfare, sacrifice, and the fight for holiness. Church has become more about feelings than faithfulness, about comfort rather than conviction. Men, wired for challenge and purpose, are checking out.
The Church Has Softened the Call to Masculine Leadership
The Bible is unapologetic in calling men to lead. Not to dominate, but to lead with courage, strength, and responsibility. “Be watchful, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong” (1 Corinthians 16:13, ESV). That’s not a call to passivity. That’s a call to battle. And this isn’t some anti-feminist message. It’s a message of men stepping up and leading – it’s not about women at all!
But modern church culture often paints leadership as something to be avoided—almost as if strong, decisive, biblically grounded men are a threat. The result? Men either become spiritually passive, letting their families drift, or they leave the Church entirely, looking for purpose elsewhere. Meanwhile, women are left carrying the spiritual burden in the home, a weight they were never meant to bear alone.
It’s Time for the Church to Call Men Back
Men don’t need a watered-down, sentimental version of Christianity. They need the full gospel—the one that calls them to fight the good fight (1 Timothy 6:12, ESV), to become the protectors and providers God designed them to be(Ephesians 5:25, ESV), and to build a legacy of faith (Joshua 24:15, ESV).
The Church has to stop apologizing for biblical masculinity. It has to stop catering exclusively to emotional appeals while ignoring the deep, primal call in a man’s soul to stand, fight, and lead. Men need challenge, mission, and a brotherhood that sharpens them like iron (Proverbs 27:17, ESV). Even the wording we use needs to change. Men’s retreat? The biblical picture of a man is one that does not retreat! Not sure I have a good answer for an alternative but men’s retreats should not be a thing!
It’s time to reclaim a dangerous Christianity—one that calls men to risk, sacrifice, and live for something bigger than themselves. Because that’s the gospel. And if we get this right, we won’t just keep men in the Church—we’ll raise up a generation of warriors for Christ. And a side benefit, we’ll have a surplus of leaders willing to storm the gates of hell with the only message that can change the world.