I think there are times in life when we actually do ourselves more harm than good. I mean we have great intentions but when we really look at it we haven’t done much good at all. As a matter of fact, the good we thought we were doing was actually undone by the negative things caused by our actions. Ok that’s ambiguous so let’s dive in a little more.

The thoughts that follow are my observations from my own life and ministry. These are my failures. They are things I’ve had to work through on a variety of levels. And they are things that I still monitor closely to make sure I don’t fall back into some of these same bad habits and destructive ideas again.

You are not God.

Now that goes without saying but the issue is that we don’t live like this. Ok so admittedly we don’t necessarily go through life thinking we’re God, but we often make decisions and plans acting as if we are the most important person in the world. We pursue things that are all about personal happiness and individual success. We seek attention and put ourselves on a pedestal as if we’re the most important person in the room or universe. Believe me, I know a few of those too.

Friend it’s not about you. If you’re a leader of a team, parent, spouse or even friend to someone – you are not the point. A good friend, teammate, employer, parent or spouse will make decisions and go in directions that put the other person first. If we want to set ourselves and those around us up for the greatest success, start putting their needs before your own and watch how not only do their needs get met but yours will also!

The more you work, the less you get done.

This one sounds a bit like an oxymoron but it’s also very true. It’s kind of like that line they say on airplanes about the oxygen masks. If you’re traveling with small children, please secure the oxygen mask to yourself before placing it on your child. For the longest time I found this to be wildly insensitive and a horribly wrong practice! I mean who in the world is going to watch their child suffocate while they get the good air?! So I asked one of those friendly Southwest flight attendants why in the world this was the rule. They were patient with my stupidity and didn’t make me feel like too much of an idiot in their answer. She simply told me that if I couldn’t breathe, how could I make sure my child was breathing? Wow. Then it all started to click. Side note: I wasn’t even traveling with children which made my question that much more strange.

Back to over working. So the whole put the mask on the child thing is like taking a needed rest in order to be more productive. It doesn’t make sense until you ask a few questions. Then step back and realize that like a parent with no oxygen can’t help their child, so also a person who’s overworked and exhausted can’t focus on the job at hand and will likely not be productive nor effective. Getting the rest you need and stepping away from the task at hand for a minute is often the most powerful way to get more done.

Give yourself traveling time.

I have a tendency to stack appointments in my calendar pretty tight. I know how long it takes me to get from one place to another under normal conditions. And when I have to be somewhere I generally like to arrive on time, which for me is about 5-7 minutes early. But there are those times when we stack so many things so tightly in our calendar that we just can’t get it all done. We have no time to get from point A to point B.

This is also true with general calendaring without travel. The premise is that we tend to stack our appointments or tasks so tightly that there’s no breathing room at all. We move from task to task without giving our brains a chance to change gears. We run from one project to a totally unrelated project and wonder why our mind feels like mush at the end of the day.

There’s nothing wrong with stepping away for even as little as 3 minutes to use the bathroom, walk down the hallway, listen to music, close your eyes or just stare off into space. These are simple techniques that can clear your mind and let your brain get the space it needs to restart in a different gear.


Diversify your diet.

Now this one might be a tad misleading, so let me explain. I am not talking about your food diet, although that’s very important as well. I’m referring to the diet of information that you feed yourself. If you continually feed your brain with the same content over and over without any variation, you’re going to be mentally malnourished to say the least. It’s like eating crackers all the time with no protein or vegetables. You just won’t perform at your peak.

The same is true for what we put into our minds. I tend to read or listen to a variety of books. Some of these are books related to my field as a pastor. Others are leadership books. Others are on finance or parenting or how to understand what’s going on in my preteen daughter’s mind (ok so there’s really nothing that will help with that one but it’s worth a shot). The point is to try to look at the world around you through the many lenses at your disposal. Consuming content from a variety of sources helps you see not only your thought process more clearly, but also helps you appreciate where others are coming from and have more intelligent conversations about topics on which you disagree.

These are just a few of the many things I’ve had to learn the hard way in life. I hope they are somewhat helpful to you and provide you with a shortcut of sorts to not stay stagnant.